Heartbreaker

by J. Dorothy

  I smile, I’m so glad Bennett finally got over his dry spell and he’s giving it a go with Gerry. She is the coolest girl ever and they both suit each other.

  “Is that Bennett?” Cam asks.

  “Ah. Yeah.”

  “Right. And he’s with Gerry this weekend?”

  “Yeah, they’re giving it a go. Both of them are pretty tough eggs. I thought Bennett would never crack. He had a few wild years and chased after the wrong kind of girls, so he swore off them for a bit till he got his act together.”

  Cam stops washing the dishes, wipes his hands and pulls his fingers through his brown locks. I’m mesmerised by his movements, fast forwarding to when I’ll be allowed to do that.

  “Okay, enough. We’re talking and we’re talking now. If you keep looking at me like that, I might just change my mind, and that would be a mistake.”

  “Okay, so let’s talk. Let’s talk real fast.”

  Cam chuckles and shakes his head. “Yeah. Real fast sounds good to me.”

  “So ... where did you want to go?”

  “I’ll make us another coffee and meet you in the backyard, usual place.”

  I smile. The old elm tree. Our hideaway and spyaway. After grabbing a sweater and blanket from my room I go out back and make my way to the large elm tree in the far corner of the yard. I spread the blanket underneath, we’re too big to climb it like we used to, hanging off a branch watching the world go by. You got the best views of the town on the top branches and we could spy on everyone.

  This is where all my firsts happened. First kiss. First time Cam asked me to be his girlfriend. First time Cam and I said we loved each other. First times were the best times. And we never tainted this place with the bad stuff, which I’m so grateful for, because now maybe we can get some of those first times back again.

  Cam joins me soon after, with two coffees in thermos type cups that I’ve never seen before. He passes one to me and sits opposite, his legs stretched out.

  We smile at each other for a bit. I’m really not sure, how to start and how much to say, there has been so much between us. I take another sip of the coffee. It’s good. Much better than when I make it.

  “So, Bennett isn’t your um ... boyfriend?” Cam asks and lets out a small cough, like it hurt his throat to ask.

  “Bennett? No. Never.”

  “Right.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “No one told me. I came to Chicago, Bai.”

  Hold up. Cam came to Chicago? He came to see me?

  “What? When?”

  “I was supposed to be there for your birthday. But I didn’t get there till the next day. I came to your apartment building. Your dad gave me the address. He told me how well you were doing with your new apartment and your job at the bar and night school. I wanted to see if we were really over. I never stopped thinking about you, Bai. I tried. I really did. But I had to give it a shot. I couldn’t move on till I had.”

  Oh god. This is hard.

  I clench my hands together. “I never stopped thinking about you either. What happened, why didn’t you come and see me?”

  “I did see you. I saw you on the street outside your apartment. You were with Bennett. You were holding hands, looking so happy, Bai. And I thought, well I thought you were together ... that you’d found someone else, and you’d moved on.”

  “Shit. I wish you had of talked to me, Cam. Bennett was just taking me out for my birthday, I hadn’t told anyone and he kind of missed my actual birthday, so he made a point of celebrating with me the next day. We have always just been friends. Best friends, but only friends. Bennett didn’t want anything else and neither did I. That’s kind of why we gelled.”

  Cam stretches his arms above his head and rests them behind his neck, leaning against the back fence. “Yeah, well it looked like a hell of a lot more. And that kind of did it for me.”

  “So, you started dating Jennifer Jaimeson?”

  “What?”

  “I saw her come out of your house Cam. The morning I came to see you.”

  Cam shakes his head. “No. I mean she lives with me...”

  I scramble to stand up. “She what?” I yell.

  Cam jumps up and reaches for my shoulders, “Calm down, remember we said we’d talk this out. Let me talk it out, Bai. You need to listen.”

  I suck in a huge breath. I’m not ready for this. Cam puts pressure on my shoulders and urges me to sit down, except this time he positions us both to lean against the tree trunk with me sitting between his outstretched legs, my back against his gorgeous chest, and he puts his arms around me.

  Okay, well maybe I can stay and listen if he keeps holding me like that.

  He reaches around and tugs my hair, pulling it behind my ear. I hear him inhale and he sighs. “God, I've missed how good you smell.”

  A shiver of the nice kind zings its way to every part of my body as his breath coats my ear and neck. I close my eyes and rest my head back, fitting perfectly in the cradle of his shoulder. “Are you okay, now?” he asks and I nod slowly. “Are you ready to listen, and not get mad?”

  I know I have no right to be mad. I know I left and he had the freedom to live with whoever he wants, but come on, SWEET CHEEKS!!!

  I bite the inside of my lip and force my head to nod again.

  I hear Cam swallow. “After you left ...” he clears his throat. “I was ... um ... a bit messed up for a while. I started drinking, smoking, and not the nicotine type smoking. I got high a lot and kind of went off the rails the first few months. Then your dad helped me, got me into the business and I discovered I was really good at carpentry. I always thought I’d just take over the farm after Dad died, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. Mom was really supportive and urged me to get my apprenticeship and so I put all my energy into that.”

  “Yeah. I kind of know that part. And I’m so glad you did, Cam. But how does Sweet Cheeks fit in?”

  Cam chuckles. “If she heard you call her that ...”

  I scowl. “After what she called me in High School ... I could call her a lot worse.”

  Cam squeezes my shoulder. “I know, but she’s really changed. I got to know her in those wild months. She was a real friend to me, Bai.”

  I huff. “I’m sure she was sweet as cheery pie. She’s always had a thing for you, Cam.”

  “Yeah, maybe, a long time ago. Not now though. She’s in a lot of trouble and I want to help her. Her family kind of abandoned her and she has no one else.”

  I sigh. I know that kind of trouble, and I feel a stab of guilt. I can’t tell Cam. I don’t know how I’d even begin. I just got him back I don’t want to throw that whopper in the mix just yet.

  “Okay. But how did she end up living with you? She was the most popular girl in school, she must have other friends.”

  “You’d think, huh? Her so called friends dropped her like she had the plague.”

  I shake my head. “Karma's a bitch.”

  “Hey, you know if you’d been here, you would have helped her. Despite your history, you're not bitter, Bai. You’ve never been like that.”

  Well that’s mostly true. But, I’m a little bitter, I mean Sweet Cheek’s has been flirting with Cam, wheedling her way into his life. I bet she was clapping her hands when I left town, and as for the pregnancy. I swallow thinking on that. I have to ask.

  “If the baby isn’t ... um yours ... whose baby is it?”

  Cam sighs. “Travis.”

  “Travis? I thought he’d only been in town a little while.”

  “About six months. Basically long enough to leave a trail of devastation. He’s a player, I tried to warn Jen, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

  I bite my lip. “Is it possible she did it to make you jealous, so you’d hook up with her, and be the baby's daddy?”

  Cam splutters on a sip of his coffee. “That’s a bit extreme. I don’t know any girl who’d go that far.”

  “No. Not getting pregnant. I assume that was a stupid mist
ake.” I nearly spit those last two words out. I know all about stupid mistakes.

  “I don’t think so. I think she really liked Travis. Those cookies that day ...” Cam trails a finger up my arm and I shiver. “Those were for Travis. Jen asked me to give them to him.”

  “Oh.”

  “It was kind of hot to see you all jealous, though.”

  I scoff. “I make much better chocolate cookies.”

  Cam laughs. “Yeah, and your cheeks are much sweeter.” Cam leans forward and plants a chaste kiss on my cheek.

  I turn my head to meet his lips and his lips flutter over mine, giving me the nicest, most gentle kiss in the world. I try and press my lips harder to his but he moves away slightly, his lips still dangerously close to mine. “Not yet,” he says in the softest voice.

  I hate waiting. I hate talking.

  I turn and lunge forward kissing him again, knocking him off balance so that I’m now lying on top of him, my lips fused to his. And this time he doesn’t resist. I part my lips to deepen the kiss, and I’m sent to dizzy heights as I feel his lips moving in sync with mine. He tastes of coffee and sweetness and I can’t get enough. I’ve missed feeling this way, and my body is responding as Cam trails his hands all over me. His touch sending off waves of sensations to every cell. I know this time I won’t stop and I have every faith Cam won’t either.

  Well, we wouldn’t have if the back door didn’t slam and I hear in some far off land, my dad calling my name.

  Damn it all. Great timing, Dad.

  Now I’m sitting at the dining room table with Dad on one side and Cam on the other. Dad is looking between us while sipping the coffee that Cam made him, after we both scrambled to assemble ourselves faster than the speed of lightening. I feel like I’m fifteen again, after Dad caught us making out the first time under that very same tree. I have to suppress a smile, so I don’t laugh outright at the memory. Cam was more than panicking that day. He’s always liked my Dad, but has always been a little afraid of him. That might have changed now they’re in business together, although Cam looks a bit pale. I flick my eyes to his and see that he’s examining his coffee mug with great interest.

  Dad clears his throat and puts down his cup. “So, you two seem to be getting along.”

  We were getting along just fine until you came home. I nearly grind out, but stop myself and mumble, “Yeah, something like that.”

  Cam gives me a quick glance and the corner of his mouth twitches. “Um … yeah, we’ve decided to give it another go.”

  Dad tilts his head and twists his lips. “Is that right?”

  Oh talk about awkward. I do not want to discuss this with Dad. I’m not a teenager anymore. I don’t need his permission, although I feel like I’m seeking it.

  “Yep,” I say, trying to end this torturous moment.

  “Good,” Dad says, and I glance at him, surprised. I wasn’t sure how he’d take the news. Not sure if he'd approve or not.

  He turns to Cam and I wait for the lecture about his house rules. Oh god, how mortifying.

  “Storm came in at the last minute, pretty much put an end to the fishing. I was doing great till then, got me a couple of …” And that's it. From then on, he talks about his weekend and all things fishing, which I tune out of.

  Cam listens and chimes in every now and again about his experiences fishing at the lake. Wow, this feels surreal like no time has passed, and Cam and I haven’t just announced the big news that we’re back together. Like we were never apart.

  I decide to leave them to it, and go into the kitchen to make lunch. I’m just pulling out the cold meat, bread and salad, my hands full when my cell buzzes.

  I toss the stuff on the bench and answer the call.

  “Bales, hey pretty girl. All clear? Has the big C left the building?” Bennett whispers, like the spy that he is.

  “No. But he’s occupied, so you can spill and tell all.”

  “You first.”

  “No. I asked first. So you spill.”

  “Now, you know I’m good at this game and could keep this up all day, so you might as well give in now.”

  “Is Gerry still there?”

  “Hey, unfair sideliner… and no, she left about ten minutes ago. I put her on the lunch bus. She should be back in Hicksville in about three hours.”

  “Cool. I’ll grill her then.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “Oh, she’ll kiss and tell. I have my ways.”

  “Indeed you do. So spill about all the ways you and Cam …”

  “Bennett!!!”

  He chuckles. “As if I’d want a blow by blow of that. But speaking of …”

  “Bennett!!! I swear I’m hanging up.”

  “You are such a buzz kill. So anyway, how was it?”

  “Enough. I’m not going to tell you a thing.”

  “Was it as good as you remember?”

  “Bye, Bennett.”

  Cam enters the kitchen and raises his eyes, as I punch end, with Bennett still trying to grill me on details.

  He moves behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. “Need, some help.”

  “You know the bench rule,” I point to the other side of the bench. “Now go sit, and be good.”

  Cam nuzzles into my neck, holding me tighter. “You know I’m almost a fully qualified carpenter now, and I can rip out this bench.”

  I swallow. Imagining him ripping more than the bench. “Is that so? And what else are you qualified to ri… p ... ”

  “Hey you two, what’s for lunch?” Dad cuts in, just as I hear Cam’s breath hitch in my ear. I have no idea what’s wrong with me. Must be talking to Bennett, he’s got me all worked up with all those stupid questions.

  Cam releases me like a hot potato and hurries to sit on the other side of the bench. Yep, he’s still scared of my Dad.

  “I, ah … was just making sandwiches when Bennett rang.”

  “Right.” Dad looks a little flustered. I’m betting he has no idea how to deal with his now adult daughter getting back with her old boyfriend. I’m afraid the lecture is just waiting for me. Ew. I cringe at the thought. That is not a conversation I want to have.

  I make lunch as quickly as possible and we all sit around the table and eat. No one says much and I wonder when life is going to get less awkward.

  Dad takes the plates into the kitchen, announcing that he’s going for a shower. Subtle Dad.

  Cam winks at me and gestures for us to go and sit on the couch.

  We settle in, Cam with his arm around me, and me with my legs pulled up underneath, but I make sure it looks innocent. Which it is. Dad is renowned for quick showers, and I’m betting it’ll be more of a rush job today.

  “Well that was interesting,” Cam comments.

  “Yeah. He’ll settle down, and get used to it, eventually. It’s been a while.”

  “Must be difficult, accepting your little girl's all grown up.”

  “I guess. We might just have to hang out at your place, until he does.”

  Then I remember who else will be hanging around his house and I wonder if we’ll ever get chance to be alone.

  “Sounds like a plan. Mom’s pretty cool. I’ll tell her about us, when I get home.”

  “What about Sweet Cheeks, will you tell her?”

  “She’s probably already guessed, but yeah I’ll tell her.”

  That reminds me about all my questions from last night. Questions that never got answered. Now I think on it, and we can’t do much else I’m a little curious.

  “By the way how did you get in here last night?”

  “Your window.”

  “You climbed in my window and I didn’t wake up?”

  “Yeah. I could have been any creep.”

  I shiver and Cam tightens his grip on my shoulder.

  “I’m just glad I didn’t wake up and try and fight you off with a baseball bat or something.”

  Cam chuckles. “You wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

 
I punch his rock hard abs. “I swing a pretty mean bat. I’m pretty tough you know.”

  Cam sighs. “Yeah, I know only too well, just how tough you are.”

  Uh oh, probably shouldn’t have said that. It’s just a reminder of how I left him for two years.

  I play with a lock of his hair. I’ve wanted to do that for ages. “Why did you come here and sleep on the couch?”

  “I was worried about you. And I ah … saw the pills on the dresser.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat. He couldn’t know about that, could he? Only Bennett knows about that night.

  “My medication.”

  “Yeah. I know. But I also know what it’s like to hit rock bottom and give in to weakness.”

  I stroke his cheek. I did that to him. I made him weak. God, I hate myself for doing that.

  “I’m sorry, Cam.”

  He pulls me around, so that I’m sitting across his lap. “Hey, no more apologies, okay. You’ve said it enough. We have to move on now. We can’t keep apologising for what’s happened. What’s done is done.”

  I fidget with the fabric of his t-shirt. I wish that were true, but before we can really heal he’ll have to hear at least one more.

  TWeNTY-TWo

  ______________________________________

  Cam’s gone home and I’m on my way to see Gerry. She got in a few hours ago and I really need to talk to her. First, because I want the low down on her and Bennett, and second, because I’m in deep need of Dr Phil right now. My head is buzzing with all things Cam, but I have a few reservations about the things I have to tell him, and I’d much rather get it off my chest first.

  I pull into the parking lot of the small shopping center where she lives. It’s way past closing time and there aren’t many cars here. I hop out and make my way over to the glass door at the back of Hocus Pocus. I knock a couple of times and I see Gerry move toward the door. She opens it and rolls her eyes. “Well fancy seeing you here.”

  “Yeah, thought I’d surprise you. I brought cookies for my sweet cheeks.”

  Gerry smiles and takes the plastic container out of my hand. She lifts the lid and takes a big whiff.

  “Okay, you may enter. But be warned, there is magic here and those who ask too many questions will be sought after by the voodoo dolls.”