rogue shifter 05 - caught between

by Gayle Parness

  Garrett took my hand and raised it to his mouth, giving it a gentle kiss, then led me down a different staircase and toward the dining room. Smiling wickedly, I mused over the wonderful decadence of having servants to tend to my needs—the main one these days being food. Garrett's laughter had lightened my earlier guilt, so I walked with a renewed optimism, feeling certain that this trip would be a relaxing escape for both of us.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The light meal turned out to be a huge spread of delicious hot appetizers, cheeses, freshly baked breads and an assortment of fruits, way more than Liam, Kellaine and I could finish. Garrett sipped his wine and listened to our chatter about the house and what we wanted to do during the day while he rested.

  Liam and Kellaine were interested in going to the local stable and riding through the nearby hills and along the coastline. I couldn't join them, but I encouraged them to go. Garrett had assured me that I'd be safe here with the servants, especially since he and Liam had also enlisted Farrell's help. He'd be joining us for breakfast each morning and then acting as an additional body guard until Liam and Kellaine returned from their explorations. I enjoyed Farrell's company, but the garden was lovely and I'd brought plenty to read, and I'd discovered that a nap in the afternoon before Garrett rose was always a good idea. Charlie seemed to like it too, settling down peacefully when I did.

  After we'd talked for a while, I noticed that Garrett had finished his wine and was staring at the fireplace with a very serious expression.

  Liam must have noticed too. "Do you have a pool table? I'll challenge you to a match if you're game. Or perhaps we could all take a walk? The moon is bright tonight."

  Garrett turned his head toward Dean, who was clearing the table. "In the great room, sir."

  Garrett stood without enthusiasm, and led the way. When we entered the room, he looked startled, then smiled broadly as he inspected the recently renovated space. It was decorated in warm colors with several large plants and bouquets, pictures of redwood forests, similar to where we hunted together as cheetahs, and seascapes like the one outside the window. The room glowed with life and I felt a shift in the energy from the more somber dining room.

  "Do you like it?" Kellaine asked.

  Garrett nodded."It's perfect. I'll have to contact the decorators to thank them."

  "You're welcome." She laughed.

  "You did this?"

  "It's a present from Liam and me. I'll be happy to take care of the dining room for you. It's still very formal."

  "Yes, it's too much like it was. I found myself brooding. I'd be grateful, Kellaine, if you could make it more like this charming room."

  "Of course. "

  I couldn't play pool because my belly got in the way. Well, actually, I couldn't really play even if it was a normal size. I just wasn't good at it and honestly, I didn't have the patience to learn. Hitting little balls into holes with sticks held no appeal for me. Clobbering bad guys with staffs was definitely more fun.

  The boys played, Liam sipping honey wine and Garrett his usual red, while Kellaine sat down at the baby grand piano in the corner and played a lovely song that brought back memories of Garrett playing the violin for me at our binding party. Singing in the Fae language, her voice rang through the large room like a sweet cool breeze on a hot day, refreshing us all. Liam beamed at her, his eyes full of love, and she smiled back in a similar fashion.

  She finished her song and then poured us a glass of honey wine and sat beside me in front of the fireplace. Apparently honey wine was healthy for unborn fae babies, as long as I didn't over do it. Gotta love those pixies and their bee hives.

  She smiled warmly at me, putting me more at ease. I'd never actually spent any one-on-one time with Kellaine, and although she seemed nice enough, she was a six hundred year old fae, perfectly capable of thinking me into oblivion. I would tread carefully at first.

  "You've had a strange journey, Jacqueline. Growing up assuming you were human, turning cheetah, healer, becoming the lifemate of a vampire. And now you'll be the mother of a fae prince.

  "I'm a little confused. Why are Liam and his brother Aedus called princes? Lord Caelen isn't a fae king, is he? And Kennet surely wasn't, so my Charlie won't be a prince either."

  "The four Cascade Elders are siblings of the current Queen: Kennet and his sister also. They all share the blood of the same father, Finvarra. Caelen and the Queen are actually twins, true siblings. Their mother is Aine, the former Queen. The rest have different mothers."

  "But the current Queen inherited the throne, not Lord Caelen?" This was getting complicated.

  "He held the throne for a time, then deferred to his sister. The throne often goes to the female in the hopes that she will bear an heir, although no one would have defied Caelen if he had kept the crown. Aedus and Liam were born while he ruled. His mother, Queen Aine was barren for hundreds of years before she took Finvarra as her lover and made him her king. He would not agree to becoming only her consort, and because he was known for his charm, she agreed to his demands. They had their twins, Caelen and his sister, and then Finvarra began to take other lovers to bring new life to Faerie. The monarchs were both well-loved and the court mourned them when they journeyed to the nether regions of Faerie."

  "Hmm. I think I see some of that male charm in Liam and his brother."

  She laughed. "I most certainly agree. The queen has a daughter and she is now the heir."

  "What's her name?"

  "I apologize, but I will not say the name of the queen or her daughter, because they may turn their attention west, and that would be a very bad thing for us all."

  I felt a sudden chill and shivered, pulling my sweater more closely around me. "Why did the Elders leave the court? It must have been beautiful."

  Her eyes took on a dreamy glaze as she stared into the hearth fire. "The Faerie Court is more beautiful than all other places—," she met my eyes with a more serious look, "—but it is also a dark place. The queen is not tolerant. Please forgive me if I do not speak of it further."

  "I'm sorry if I'm being nosy."

  "Nosy?"

  "Too curious."

  She smiled. "You may ask whatever you wish, and I will do the same. How else can we learn?"

  I heard Garrett laugh from the other end of the large room, having gotten in a good shot.

  I thought of something surprising but held my tongue, afraid of her reaction. She smiled, having seen my expression. "Ask."

  "Aedus and Philladre are cousins?"

  "Yes, we mate with our cousins. I understand it is forbidden in your world, but neither is it necessary. There are so many mates for you to choose from, and most are fertile. Traditionally the fae have striven to keep our bloodlines pure, so choosing cousins as mates makes sense in this regard. In the last thousand years or so, we have grown more inventive, choosing to have children with humans and raising them in Faerie." She smiled in Liam's direction.

  "It seems to have worked out well for you."

  She arched an eyebrow at my rather personal remark, but then said, "At court, those who are like Liam are not treated as equals of the full blood fae. Liam is well loved in Cascade."

  I swallowed another sip of wine and decided to change the subject, since this one was making me a little uncomfortable. "Your name is so lovely. Does it have a special meaning?"

  She laughed. "Our true names are long and unpronounceable by non-fae. We only use a small portion of the name, something that a non-fae can easily say. We each get to choose."

  "Liam's brother chose the name, Aedus?"

  She laughed again. "You should hear the rest of his name. Aedus actually means fire in ancient Gaelic, so it is rather appropriate, I believe. " Her violet eyes glowed teasingly.

  "He's hot stuff, right?" She nodded and we both grinned in a girl-to-girl moment. Aedus was the epitome of male fae beauty: 6' 6", with long silken dark hair, rich purple eyes, well-defined muscles and a face a god might envy. None of his peers could beat him
with a sword and he rode a horse like he was an extension of the animal. When he used his magic, his aura burned with golden fire. Hot didn't do him justice.

  After another sip of wine and a moment to cool down, I asked, "So you're considered a princess? And Ashlyn, Philladre, Kaera and Brina?" They were the female children of the Elders.

  Her eyes glittered with amusement, "You take your life in your hands if you refer to the warrior sisters that way. However Philly and Ash are perfect princesses, do you not think so?"

  "And you too, Kellaine." She certainly looked like a princess, with her thick red wavy hair tumbled down around her shoulders and her startling violet eyes glittering from reflected firelight. Her perfect porcelain skin and full lips would make many mortal males kneel at her feet and pledge to adore her for all time. Definite princess material.

  She was shaking her head. "No, those two are perfectly content to live out their days in Faerie, fulfilling their destiny. They are all that their parents could hope for in a fae lady. But as you see, like the sisters, I want to experience more. For instance, decorating this room gave me much joy, a pursuit which the Elders would find to be utterly useless."

  "It's lovely, thank you." She beamed at me and nodded in the fae way. "And so Farrell is a prince, too?" Farrell was very young in fae terms, only eighty-five mortal years, and he spent much of his time learning about and using modern technology.

  She snorted out a derisive laugh. "My brother certainly thinks of himself as a prince. He likes to be waited on hand and foot when he is home, driving mother to distraction. But he is another one who loves the mortal world. I am afraid he has been breaking hearts here for the last year or so."

  "But aren't he and Ashlyn...?"

  "They are lovers, but not bound to each other. She has other lovers as well. They are very young." My face was heating up in a blush. When she noticed she shook her head, laughing. "If your race conceived so rarely, and you wanted a child more than anything else, you would also be taking in lovers. This is our way."

  We were quiet for a minute or so, watching our men lean over the pool table in interesting ways to make their shots. I broke the silence first, hoping she didn't think I was judging her. "Well, that King Fin....whatever, he sure was a busy guy."

  Her musical laughter brightened the room. "Finvarra, yes, and amazingly fertile. As you see, the Elders each have two children, so they inherited his potency." She looked back at Liam, who was chalking the tip of his cue, focused only on the game. "I would give up centuries of my life to have a child with Liam. I take no other male to my bed."

  Her frank statement didn't shock me, as I'd grown more used to the honestly of these extraordinary people over the few months I'd known them. Although she didn't look at me, I knew she wanted me to say I'd help her. I'd healed Aedus when he was injured by Lord Kennet during my rescue, and soon afterward Philladre had become pregnant. There were rumors flying around Faerie, that I'd somehow been responsible for his fertility. I knew that wasn't the case, but it didn't stop the talk. My healing had been only of the psychological variety.

  I decided to offer a suggestion, having been through the process myself. "There are hundreds of thousands of human children who need homes and love. Why don't you adopt?"

  "We cannot, because we are Seelie Fae, and cannot raise those that are without fae blood in Faerie. After four or five years, the constant flow of magic would cause them to grow ill and die. It has been tried in the past."

  "Can you raise them here?"

  "Liam has his house here in the mortal world, but our true home will always be in Faerie. We could not leave the child behind."

  I tossed around what she'd said. "There might be some kids who're fae, but think they're human, abandoned by their fae parents. I didn't know I was a shifter until a few months ago."

  "No fae would leave their child behind to be raised by humans."

  Her eyes had darkened with anger, but I continued. "What if the child were half fae, like Liam?"

  She wrinkled her brow in a very human expression. "Perhaps, if the fae father did not know about the child." I had her complete attention now. "Could you find such a child, if he existed? Is it possible with your team's investigative skills?"

  I suddenly realized I might have opened a can of worms. "I can only help you if the child is in foster care. If the child is living happily with his mother, or has been adopted already, I can't..."

  "He will be ill if he is only living in the human world. I can convince the parents to give the child up. A fae child should be raised by..." She looked at my belly and then met my eyes once more, realizing her mistake. "I understand, of course. I could never truly take a child from its mother. Forgive me."

  Somehow I knew I could trust her, the way I did Liam. I felt her distress, so without thought I touched her hand, being careful not to send out healing energy, a serious faux pas when dealing with the fae.

  "My life would have been very different if a shifter family had adopted me instead of leaving me to be passed from one human family to the next, none of them able to cope with my odd behavior, at least until the Crawford's took me in. I'll ask our team to look into it." William and Sinc could probably hack into foster care records, along with a lot of other sources.

  Her eyes were wide with hope. "I would raise a child such as this without hesitation." She glanced away from me, withdrawing her hand. "I cannot speak for Liam, but I would raise the child alone if he did not agree. We are not bound. He may not wish to make this commitment." She looked at me dead on, her anxiety replaced with an intensity that had me leaning away from her. "I know that you and he are very close."

  "Only as friends." She seemed about to ask something, but then changed her mind. This time I was amused. Time to clear the air. "He kissed me once to transfer some fae magic, enabling me to beat Antoine in the duel, but other than that he's never even flirted." I shrugged. "We're both healers so we need to talk things over sometimes to keep in balance." I looked at my lifemate who was watching Liam line up a shot with an annoyed expression. "Garrett and I are sealed and happy."

  Liam must have sensed Kellaine's eyes on him because their gazes locked for a moment, as they probably exchanged a few words in private. He smiled warmly and then turned to watch Garrett approach his next shot.

  She gave me an impish grin. "You do know that he could have transferred his magic in a number of different ways, yet he chose to kiss you." My surprised expression let her know that I hadn't known, which made her laugh softly. "He is curious about life in a way that typical fae males are not. And you are a lovely young shifter, full of life and magic." She shrugged.

  "I don't know whether to feel shocked, flattered or embarrassed." I laughed.

  "His friendship with Garrett held him in check, I'm sure. Traditionally, fae males take what they want, as his father did, and Finvarra before him, but Liam approaches life on his own terms. His differences make him harder for me to read, but they are, perhaps, more like my own."

  She reached for my hand, which was unusual for a fae. "If you could find this child you speak of, I would give you anything you ask. I swear this on my blood."

  I grinned. "You fae and your pledges." She lifted her chin, looking slightly offended. Seelie fae spoke the truth, although some were masters at skirting or fudging it. "I apologize. I don't mean to make a joke of your offer. I'll do whatever I can and ask only for your friendship in return, and of course, your skills as a decorator." I swept my arms around to indicate the lovely room.

  I felt relieved when she smiled warmly. "Yes. I believe we can be friends, although I never would have thought it possible. Liam asked me to make an effort, but I did not expect to feel so comfortable talking with you. There is something inside of you that connects to the heart of a person. I like it. All of my skills are forever at your disposal, including my abilities as a warrior. I only ask that you call me Kellie when we're not in Faerie." She nodded with her hand over her heart, sending me a wash of her amazing magic,
and I nodded back in my own simple way.

  Turns out, it was very cool hanging out with this particular faerie princess.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Garrett and I sat in a swinging chair on the terrace outside our room, his arm draped over my shoulder and his fingers playing with my blonde hair. Below us the waves crashed against the outcroppings of rock that jutted into the Pacific, cratered with tidal pools and smelling of salt and seaweed. Kellie and Liam had retired to their room, so Garrett and I took this quiet time to reconnect, as we did most nights.

  "How do you feel, my love?" His breath was warm against my cheek.

  "I'm fine. Charlie's been quiet today. No kick boxing lesson."

  "Good. You and Kellie seemed to be having a long conversation." He was dying to know what we talked about, but he wouldn't pry unless it was something he considered important.

  "I like her. She adores Liam. And she explained about the fae prince thing."

  "Ah, the royal connection."

  I turned my body toward his and slid my hand across his chest and then down to his waist, snuggling against him. "But how are you?"

  He was quiet for a moment or two, then sighed. "Too many memories. Too many ghosts."

  "Even on this lovely balcony?"

  "Eleanor liked to drain her prisoners to just short of unconsciousness and then dangle them over the side of the terrace to hear them beg. She always dropped them."

  His voice had taken on that flat tone that I hated because it meant that he was lost in sorrow somewhere far away. I couldn't stop myself from shuddering, so he wrapped his arms more tightly around me and rested his chin on top of my head. "Pardon, mon ange. I'm not behaving as you'd hoped."

  I sat up and shook my head. "I don't expect you to pretend that nothing terrible happened here. This is incredibly hard for you. The worst thing in your entire life happened here."