Shattered Lies

by Theresa Sederholt

  “Jax, what the hell is going on?”

  “Junior is sick.”

  “I know. I saw him this morning. Is his fever worse?”

  “ Dr. McCord thought it was the flu, but your mum doesn’t think so. She had me order a test. The results should be back in couple of hours.” He leans in near my ear, “I think he’s really sick,” he whispers.

  Everyone else seems to show up at once. Before Jax can say anything more, Max and Jackie walk in. Max takes one look at Jax and freezes. “What’s the matter?”

  Jax brings him up to speed on what he knows so far. An is very quiet. The last thing she needs right now is any more stress.

  “Son, when will the results be available?”

  Jax sits down next to his mom and holds her hand. He’s trying to keep her calm. “Mum, Rose is overseeing the test and will let us know right away.”

  I called this meeting, so it’s time to get this done. “Okay, everyone, I’m just going to jump right in here and say that no one is going to Capri. Before anyone says anything, please hear me out.” All eyes are on me and I have to make the strongest case. I’m only going to have one chance at this.

  “There is no reason for any one of you to meet James. Nothing good will come of it. It is abundantly clear that the man is nothing but trouble. This family does not need any more drama or turmoil. We need to look to the future and build upon that. Jax, I get that there are three other men out there that are your half brothers. If you want to make contact with them, then that’s a different story, but James breeds trouble.”

  Jax still has a grip on his mom’s hand, I think more for his support than hers. “Raven, Bella already decided she is not going. She said he’s nothing more than a sperm donor and I agree with her. Even though I want to know why, nothing will change. That boy will still be waiting by the window for his dad to show up. Max, if you want to go, then I will have to go with you. However, I don’t think it’s in your best interest to do so, but I would never let you go alone.”

  I can only hope we’ve gotten through to Max. If he doesn’t go, then all this ends tonight and we can move forward. He’s silent for a bit, holding both of Jackie’s hands tightly in his. He lifts them to his lips and kisses them. “I decided today that I wasn’t going to confront him. Nothing can change the past. I need to protect my future and the future of this family.”

  “Great, so it’s settled then, hopefully Michael only has the flu and we can all go to Switzerland to celebrate Jackie’s birthday. A vacation right about now sounds wonderful.”

  The baby monitor lights up and my daughter begins to stir. “I need to go nurse, please let me know when the results are back.” I head upstairs praying that it’s just the flu.

  ANTONIA IS VERY RESTLESS today. I wonder if she can sense how stressed out I’ve been. I get her cleaned up and, once she starts eating, she seems to settle down. She has a great appetite and she seems to be sleeping longer at night. I can’t believe she is almost two months old. I know Jax wants to have another baby right away and reality is I do too. I never want my child to be alone like I was. I look up and Jax is in the doorway. “Hey, are the results back yet?”

  “Rose, just called, she and Dr. McCord are on their way.”

  Jax takes Antonia and gets her settled in her crib. We head downstairs and I pray it’s only the flu. We sit next to Bella, and Jax firmly holds her hand.

  “Sis, no matter what happens, we will get through it.”

  My mom walks in with Dr. McCord, and by the grim look on her face, I know it’s not the flu.

  Jax jumps up, “McCord, what are the results?”

  I watch Dr. McCord; I notice he can’t look Jax in the eye. I get up and put my arm around Jax’s waist for support. Dr. McCord finally looks up from the papers he has clutched in his hands. “We just got the results back, Michael has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, commonly referred to as ALL.”

  Bella drops to her knees, crying and shaking. Michael drops to his knees stunned and silent, trying to hold his wife.

  “Please, everyone, it’s not a death sentence. Thanks to Rose’s insistence on running the test, we have caught this early. He will need to have a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy, but that has to be done at the hospital. Once all of the tests are completed, treatment can start right away. I will outline it all for you. In the meantime, I want everyone to be tested for a possible bone marrow match. It’s a simple cheek swab, but since Michael has no siblings, everyone needs to be tested. Rose will do the swabs and get them over to the lab right away.”

  We’re all in shock; no one is making a sound. Absorbing everything being said but not believing a word of it, I look over to An and I realize, with her health so fragile, this could be her breaking point. I release myself from Jax’s tight grip, grab some water, and offer it to her. Her hands are trembling so bad, she can’t even hold the glass.

  My mom comes over and immediately checks An’s pulse. “An, please try to stay focused right now. Michael will get treatment, and he will survive. We have caught this early enough for the treatment to be effective. What this family can’t handle is anything happening to you. I need you to calm down, take some slow, deep breaths, and concentrate on my voice.” My mom, once again, is working her magic. “Raven, please make some chamomile tea,” she asks me quickly then turns back to An. “Remember what we discussed; you need to focus on your health. Michael needs you to be strong and healthy.”

  I hurry up and put up the pot for tea. Jax finally snaps out of his shock and takes charge of the situation. “McCord, after we do the swab’s, what’s next? Where can he get the best treatment?”

  “Mr. Phillips, the treatment is done in three phases. The first phase is called Remission induction. In this phase, the goal is to kill the leukemia cells that are in the blood and the bone marrow. The second phase is called consolidation or intensification. This starts when Michael is in remission. It’s a specific therapy to kill any remaining leukemia cells that may cause a relapse. The third phase is a maintenance treatment. The best place for this type of treatment is in the USA. I have looked at the top five hospitals in the United States and I would suggest The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Dr. Torrence is the head of the oncology pediatric department. They are on the cutting edge of research for this type of cancer. I took the liberty of contacting them and arranged for Michael’s admittance.”

  “What about this bone marrow that you’re testing us for? When does that come into play?”

  “It’s not part of the initial treatment, it’s used in the event of a relapse after treatment. I want to be prepared just in case. Usually a sibling is the best match, but since Michael is an only child, I want to start the search now. As long as everyone is healthy, then donating won’t be a problem.”

  I bring An her tea and she seems to be calmer. My mom takes the swabs and begins to swab each of us. As she swabs the inside of my cheek, I’m reminded that something so simple can be a life saver to someone in need. When she gets to Jackie, she stops her. “I’m already a member of the Blood and Marrow Transplant information network. I’ve donated in the past, and if I’m a match, I would gladly donate again.”

  Max tightens his hold on her hands. “Thank you, babe.”

  “Max, please don’t thank me. Everyone should be doing this and not just in a time of crisis. A lot of people know about donating blood, however, not everyone knows about donating stem cells.”

  My mom takes Bella’s hand and pulls her to her feet. “Bella, listen to me, please. You are Michael’s rock right now. His state of mind will be based on how you, and everyone here, react around him. It’s very important to keep a positive outlook and, whatever you do, don’t treat him any differently. I understand that I’m not Michael’s doctor. I am, however, his friend. If it would be okay with you, I would like to go with him to the states and stay with him.”

  “Oh, Rose, I would love to have you there with us. I know how close the two of you have become, and I’m sure Micha
el would love having you there. Dr. McCord, when will we be leaving?”

  “You will be leaving in the morning.”

  “Okay. Thank you, everyone. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going upstairs to be with my son.” Bella and Michael Sr. race upstairs to be with Michael.

  My mom gathers up the swabs and hurries out to get them back to the lab.

  The baby monitor comes to life but I already know it’s time to feed Antonia, I can feel it. “An, I’m going upstairs to feed Antonia, would you like me to walk with you to your room?” I’m not really giving her an option; she needs rest.

  “Thank you, Raven.” I help her upstairs and let her lean on me for support, knowing the rough road ahead for all of us and silently praying we come out okay.

  FOR THE PAST TWO days, my life has been spinning out of control. I hate the unknown, yet lately, that’s all I have . . . a life filled with ‘what ifs.’ I don’t do ‘what ifs’; I don’t leave things to chance. I snap out of my stage of disbelief, I need to make the rest of the arrangements. I hear Max on the phone, probably arranging security. I pour us each a scotch while I wait for him to finish his call. “Jackie, how long have you been involved with the donor network?”

  “I became involved about eight years ago. My father had a friend whose son was also diagnosed with ALL. Like Michael, he is an only child, so my whole family was tested. I came up as the closest match, so when he needed the transplant, I donated. Jax, the little boy is fine. We’ve stayed in touch. He lives in the states and is getting ready for his prom.”

  “Thank you, Jackie. You are a very kind-hearted person and my brother is very lucky to have you in his life . . . we all are.” I hug her. She brings so much to this family without even trying.

  Max is finally off the phone. “Max, I need to get a place to stay near the hospital. I’ll be leaving in the morning with Junior.”

  “Jax, we are all leaving in the morning. The plane is being prepared now. Mrs. Osla is setting up a place for us to live. Security is all set; we all go, mate.”

  I pass him his scotch, “Why did this happen to Junior? Is this something that runs through our gene pool? He has been having so much fun here.”

  Jackie gets up and hugs Max. “Max, I’m going to check on An and Raven.”

  “Jackie will go to her parents for a few days and then meet us in the states.” He turns his focus back to me.

  I let him know that Raven told me about her birthday. “That must be so hard for her. Birthdays are supposed to be a happy day. Can we do anything to make it better for her?”

  He swirls the amber liquid in his glass; he seems distant. “I was going to go with her to her parents but, with everything happening with Junior, I’m going to the states with you.”

  “Go with her, and then you can both head over to the states together. It’s only for a few days, and we will all be there. If you want, talk to Junior about it.” I know he’s torn and not just about Junior. “Max, what made you decide not to go to Capri?”

  “Mrs. Osla and I had a long talk. She made me realize what I could lose if I go. I can’t lose Jackie, it would kill me.”

  “I should have figured Mrs. Osla had a hand in it. Do you think she will ever feel comfortable letting everyone know her connection to you?”

  “I told her that you know she was Samantha’s aunt and practically raised her. The rest is up to her. Knowing her as well as I do, I imagine she doesn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable around her. ”

  “Was she upset that you told me? I’ve never said anything to her, I respect her privacy.”

  “She understood that I needed to tell you everything so that I could move forward in life. Ultimately, that’s all she’s ever wanted for me. When she’s not scaring the living daylights out of me.”

  I look at him and he’s really serious. I can’t help but laugh. “Oh, Max, sometimes you really are my source of amusement. Let’s go check on Junior, I’m sure Bella told him what’s going on by now. I don’t want him to be scared.”

  As we get up to head upstairs, Mrs. Osla walks in. “Jaxson, I need to go over the arrangements I made for tomorrow.”

  We both freeze in our tracks. Max is biting his bottom lip, trying not to laugh. “Jax, you stay here with Mrs. Osla and I will meet you upstairs.” As he turns to leave his eyes meet hers and he stops dead in his tracks.

  “Maxwell, he is your nephew also, so I suggest you both have a seat.”

  Heading back to the couch, I can almost swear I hear Max growl. She hands us each a folder. “I have compiled some information about the treatment that young Michael could expect, the length of time required to administer the treatment, and the possible side effects. The treatment and follow up could take up to three years. I secured an estate ten minutes from the hospital that is large enough to accommodate everyone. I understand everyone is in shock right now, however, please bear in mind this is not a death sentence. I have enclosed a packet on Dr. David Torrence, the oncologist that will be handling young Michael’s treatment. If you look at the research I provided you with, the survival rate since 2005 is at 90.4%. That is something to stay focused on. It is very important that everyone stay positive and upbeat for the lad. Jaxson, I’m worried about the stress all of this is having on An. If it is okay with you, I would like to accompany her to the states and stay with her. She has been a very kind, dear friend and I would like to do the same. However, if you need me to stay here, I will.”

  I’m overwhelmed looking through all the research that she pulled. “Christ, Max, look at all the stuff Junior is going to have to go through. I had no idea it was going to be this much and this long.” I thank God we have the unlimited resources to provide anything he needs.

  “Neither did I. We will be there with him every step of the way.”

  “Jaxson, I also got the information from Matthew that you requested. I think you will both find this very interesting. In New York State, your medical license is for life, as long as you have not been convicted of a felony. When a physician’s license is put on the inactive list, it must be updated every two years. Apparently Joseph had her license placed on the inactive list, and made sure he maintained the status for her. Matthew started the process to activate it and have her name changed on her license. If she wanted to practice legally, she could, however, she would be required to complete all updated course work and training. It won’t be easy but it doesn’t mean she can’t do it. There are a lot of options available to her, but it is up to her to decide. Maxwell, as per your request, Matthew removed you as her legal guardian but you are still the executor of her will. Jaxson, you can’t bully her to do something she’s not prepared to do.”

  “Mrs. Osla, I wouldn’t bully her.” She raises one eyebrow and cocks her head to the side. “Did Matthew say how long it will take?”

  “Surprisingly, once he submits the name change, only a couple of days.”

  “Thank you. I will sit Rose down and let her know what is going on. You can travel with my mum to the states and stay with her. I’m sure she would love the company and I appreciate that you would want to do that for her.”

  “If you don’t need me for anything else, I want to visit with An.”

  “That’s fine, thank you.”

  “What the hell are you thinking, Jax? She’s been locked away for twenty years, she can’t just go back to a life that doesn’t exist anymore,” Max pounces before Mrs. Osla even steps fully out of the room.

  “Calm down. I’m not going to push her into anything. Raven, asked me to look into it. She said she spoke with Rose and it might be an option. She doesn’t have to go back to being a surgeon, she could go into research. She needs to know that all her schooling and training wasn’t for nothing. She still has a very full life ahead of her and we need to give her every chance possible.”

  “Jax, don’t force her to do something she might not be ready to do.”

  “I promise I won’t. Let’s go see Junior. I promised him we could watch the new Doct
or Who.”

  “Jax, so help me, I’m not sitting through another hour of that show. Did you know Junior is trying to get Jackie to watch it with him?”

  “Ha! I told you that kid is a genius.”

  “AN, PROMISE ME YOU will try and get some rest. Michael needs all of us to be strong,” I plead with her. I don’t doubt she needs this reminder as she is still recuperating from surgery.

  “Raven, I’m so scared. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this. How much more heartache will we have to suffer?”

  She begins to cry and I pull her into my arms. “An, Michael is a very strong boy. We need to have faith. We need to be his rock to lean on.” Maybe if I tell her enough, I’ll believe it myself.

  We head into her room and I get her settled in. “I’m going to feed Antonia, and then I will check back in with you. In the meantime, try and get some rest.”

  I’m heading toward the nursery when I run into my mom. “Hey, Mom, you’re just the person I wanted to see. I’m heading in to feed Antonia, will you come with me?”

  “I was going to check on An, can it wait?”

  “Actually, I just got An settled in for a nap.”

  “Oh, okay, I will check on her later. We need to try and keep her calm. What do you need?”

  “Let me get Antonia situated first.”

  We head into the nursery and my mom begins to change Antonia. When she’s done, I take my usual seat in front of the window and begin to nurse.

  “What’s on your mind, Raven?”

  “Actually, I have quite a few questions. What can we expect with Michael’s treatment? Should Antonia be tested? What are Michael’s chances of survival? How did he get this?”

  “Raven, slow down. First, I’m not an Oncologist, and neither is Dr. McCord. These are questions that need to be addressed by Michael’s Oncologist. While the test was running, I did some research and found The Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia has a high survival rate, in the ninetieth percentile. We’ve caught this early, and that’s also a positive for Michael. I don’t have all the answers, I’m sorry. I only thought to check for it because I worked closely with an ALL patient who also had a heart condition. This is not going to be a quick fix and everyone will have to adjust to the changes, especially Michael. He is so active and full of life. I thank God that Jax listened to me and ran the test. From what I read online, the treatments can run for three years. We will have to adjust and live our lives around his treatments.”