Shattered Lies

by Theresa Sederholt

  “Raven, please let me take care of you. You’re always taking care of everyone else.”

  I lie down and give in, too tired to help myself. I feel myself slowly fade out as he’s massaging my feet.

  RAVEN HAS BEEN SO tired, and doing so much for everyone else that I’m afraid she is going to get sick. As much as I always want to be with her, it’s rest that she really needs now. She gives so freely of her strength and faith, I truly have no idea how she does it. I look at my watch and realize Max must be getting ready to leave. I give him a call before he heads out. “Hey, Max, are you almost ready to go?” I ask when he picks up.

  “Yeah, everything okay there?”

  “We have about three hours left before we land. I wanted to talk to you before you go. Now whatever you do, make sure you don’t snap the wanker’s neck, cause that would not go over too well with Jackie’s dad.”

  “Is this why you called me?”

  “I’m worried about you; I know I wanted to snap that fucker’s neck. You will surely want to do more. Just try to remember you’re there for Jackie.”

  “What else is bothering you? I doubt you called just for that.”

  “I feel bad that I’m not going to be there when you get married. You’re always there for me.”

  “I know, but you’ll be there for me next week. I just can’t wait to make it official.”

  “Have you thought about a gift for her? I can help with it.” I’m laughing and he is probably rolling his eyes.

  “Well, I really wasn’t too sure what to get, but then this morning, when she went racing around with Junior, she mentioned that she wanted a purple golf cart.”

  “You bought her a purple golf cart?” I’m laughing so hard, I’m crying.

  “No, not a golf cart. I called my friends at Lamborghini and ordered her a purple one. They sent over a certificate with her name and delivery date. I wrapped it up.”

  “What about her birthday, mate?”

  “When I had the ring made up, I also had a matching pendant made. Somehow, I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait till her birthday. I’m going to have to get going, but before I do, how is everyone doing?”

  “Everyone is doing okay, although Mum looks a little tired. Raven is keeping a close watch on her, so don’t worry. I’ll let you go, but make sure you check in with me.” He hangs up and I’m still sad that I won’t be there, but I know he’s getting his shot at a happily ever after and that’s all I ever really wanted for him. While Raven is still asleep I’m going to check on Junior.

  I quietly leave the room, making sure not to wake her. Junior’s room is right next door. I stick my head in to check on him, but he is asleep. I’m trying so hard not to let him see how scared I am for him. I close the door and go in search of my mum. She is in the main cabin having tea with Mrs. Osla. I take a minute to gather my thoughts before heading into the cabin.

  “Hey, Mum, how are you feeling?” When she lifts her eyes toward mine, I notice how tired she looks.

  “I’m fine, son, how is Raven? This has to be a lot for her to deal with, on top of a new baby.”

  “She’ll be fine, Mum, it’s you I’m worried about. You need to try and get some rest. I know we’re all worried about Junior, but you getting sick will not help him. Bella is going to need a lot of support right now from all of us.” Oh fuck, she’s crying. I pull her into my arms. “Shh, stop crying, please.”

  “I’ll be fine, son, really, I think I’m just tired. Plus, the realization of everything that James was into has been very hard on me. I feel like a fool—”

  “—Stop, please! Just stop blaming yourself for things you never had any control over. We need to focus on the future and things we can control. My wife told me ‘the past can’t be changed, but the path we choose to move forward on can.’ I believe she might be onto something.” She stops crying, and I think I finally might be getting through to her.

  THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT COMES over to inform me that we will be ahead of schedule and we should be landing in about an hour. The captain will make his standard announcement when we are thirty minutes out. However, she wanted to make sure I had enough time to tend to any of Junior’s needs. I need to make sure everyone is up. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies, I need to wake up Raven and let everyone know we are ahead of schedule.”

  I check on Antonia and she’s still sleeping. I thank God that she is such an easy baby. I head into Junior’s room and let them know to get ready to land. Now I just need to wake up my wife. I open the door and she’s lying on the bed crying. I race over to her and realize she’s in the throes of a nightmare. I know not to wake her. I get a wet washcloth and sit on the bed, softly calling her name over and over again. Finally, she stops and her eyes flutter open. I take the washcloth and clean up under her eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “What’s there to talk about?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that I find my wife crying and thrashing about in her sleep has me worried. I know you’re trying to be strong for everyone, but you need to let me in, Raven.”

  She sits quietly for a while, looking down, twisting her fingers. “I had a bad dream, Jax, a dream that seemed a little too real. Can we please let it go for now?”

  I don’t want to upset her anymore. “Sweetheart, I can let it go for now, but if they continue, you will need to tell me. We will be landing shortly and we need to get into our seats.” I don’t want to give her any time to dwell on it. We head out to the main cabin to check on Antonia and take our seats. As the wheels touch down, I close my eyes, making a silent prayer that Junior will be okay.

  I’M PACKING EVERYTHING I think I will need, making sure I take the blue prints for Junior. The thought of him having to go through this is tearing me up inside. I just about have it together and now I need to find out what is keeping Jackie. I go in search of her and find her sitting on the floor in her closet, surrounded by shoes. I learned rather quickly that she has two vices in life: chocolate and shoes. It looks like someone took every pair of shoes she owns and piled them on the floor. “Hey, babe, what are you doing?”

  “Trying to decide what shoes to bring.” I’ll never understand the need for all these shoes, however, I’m not an idiot—I know when to keep my mouth shut.

  I sit on the floor next to her, always needing to touch her. “You could just pick a few and buy whatever you want in the States.” That earns me a glare.

  “Or . . . we could just take them all.” Her bottom lip begins to tremble and something tells me this has nothing to do with shoes. “Talk to me, babe, what’s really bothering you?”

  “I’m getting married tomorrow. My mother has requested that I wear my grandmother’s Kimono. My best friend isn’t here, and you are going to hate my brother.”

  “Would you rather wait until we get to the States to get married. We can fly your parents out next week and do it with everyone there.”

  “I thought of that, but my mother doesn’t fly.”

  “Wait then how were they getting here in May for the wedding?”

  “They would drive.”

  “Jackie, that’s over seventeen hours, you can’t be serious. Why won’t your Mum fly?”

  “I asked her that once and she said she wasn’t born with wings Really, after that, what could I say? The more I thought about it, the more I really want to have the wedding on my birthday, so I can have some happy memories, too.”

  I lift her hand to my lips, “I have one question? How hard is it going to be to get you out of this Kimono?” Her mouth falls open and her eyes grow wide.

  “Is that all you’re worried about?” she squeaks in disbelief.

  “Babe, none of this matters to me. Out of respect for you, I will play nice with Dylan. I will have as many or as few ceremonies as you want. As long as there is one very quickly, nothing else matters. Hell, I’ll even wear this Kimono thing if that will get you down that isle!” She takes my hand and begins to laugh.

  “Okay, what�
��s so funny?”

  “Careful what you wish for Max. You have to wear the traditional men’s Kimono.”

  She is now laughing so hard that she falls backwards amongst the shoes and she’s holding her sides. I’m glad that through this nightmare, she can still find something to laugh about. I get up, take her hand, and pull her to her feet.

  “Jackie, leave the shoes and I will take you on a whirlwind shoe shopping trip when we get to the States.”

  “Max, have you ever been to Bon Genie?” We head out of the closet and I begin to laugh.

  “Jax told me about it when he came back from Switzerland. Not gonna happen, babe.” She cocks her head to the side and gives me a beautiful smile. Who am I kidding?—she knows and I know that I’m going to Bon Genie; seven floors of shopping hell.

  WE LAND WITHOUT INCIDENT and Max has a fleet of vehicles, with guards, waiting for us in a private hanger. We head directly to the hospital, only to find a dozen or so reporters camped out front. I’ve been so wrapped up with Junior that I forgot the sale of Raiders was announced today. I’ve been away from the press, hounding me on a daily basis, but Mick realizes what’s going on and radios all drivers to go around back to the service entrance. We drive around back and there are some there, but not as many.

  Before I open the door, Mick holds his hand up, stopping me. “Jax, I need everyone to go but Rose.” He hands Rose a baseball cap and dark sunglasses. “Can you please put these on, ma’am? Jax, it’s you they want pictures of, so I’m hoping once you’re inside, I will be able to sneak Rose in without anyone noticing.”

  “Thank you, Mick. I almost forgot how ruthless the press can be.”

  We get out of the cars and make our way into the hospital with a limited amount of flashes going off. Junior grabs my hand and is squeezing it really hard. We make our way to the elevators quickly and the ride up is long and quiet. The doors finally open and we are greeted by two very kind looking nurses, Sarah and Janett. Sarah informs me that she works for the hospital, and Janett is the private nurse that Mrs. Osla has hired.

  Sarah extends her hand out to Junior. “Hello, Michael. I know you are scared, but Janett and I will be here with you. There is another boy here named Josiah, he’s very into superheroes and Doctor Who. I’m sure the two of you will become good friends. Let’s get you checked into your room and then I will introduce you to him.”

  Junior’s face lights up at the mention of Doctor Who and for the first time since this began, I can feel myself relax a little. As we approach Junior’s room, Janett informs me to get the camera on my phone ready. I have no clue what she’s talking about, but then it hits me, Mrs. Osla’s surprise. Junior opens the door and steps inside. I’m so shocked that I can’t even speak. Janett takes my phone and begins snapping pictures. The entire room looks like the inside of the TARDIS. Junior is laughing and running around the room, checking everything out. I finally snap back to reality, thanking Janett for taking the pictures.

  Junior runs up to Mrs. Osla and throws his arms around her. Two hugs in one day must surprise her. “Mrs. Osla, you’re the best! Thank you.” Even the always stoic Mrs. Osla is teary eyed.

  Sarah informs us that Dr. David Torrance is in charge of Junior’s case and is waiting to meet with us first before he meets with Junior. While Janett and Sarah are showing Junior around, we step outside his room to meet with the doctor but find Rose and Mick waiting for us.

  “Mick, were there any problems?” He’s fidgeting and rocking back and forth on his heels. He seems on edge.

  “Yeah, Jax, one guy was able to get a picture off. I pulled his SD card from his camera. He wasn’t happy.”

  “Did you see anyone else? Did he try to find out who she is?” God, I can’t wait till Max gets here.

  “There were some reporters across the street, but I don’t think anyone noticed us. I had her keep her head down with her hair tucked into the cap. He tried to question me about her but I cut him off. I’m going to have her change into scrubs when we are ready to leave. I will have you leave out the front and I will take Rose out the employee entrance.”

  “Thanks, Mick. We are about to meet with the doctor, can you please hang here with Junior?” Even though the other guards are here, I feel better with Mick around. He hangs back while we head to the meeting.

  When I walk through the door of his office, I look around and I’m shocked. I was expecting a typical doctor’s office. He has the usual medical books, but what surprises me the most is the wall of handmade cards. The wall has to be eight feet high and twelve feet wide, and the entire wall, from floor to ceiling, is covered in these cards. On the far wall is a shelf filled with superhero figures.

  Raven is fixated on the wall with the cards. “These are amazing.”

  I take a closer look at them and I realize they are all survivors, thanking Dr. Torrence and his staff. The door opens and the doctor steps in, looking a lot younger than I had expected.

  “Hello, everyone, I’m Dr. David Torrance, or Dr. Dave, if you will. I’m sorry; I wasn’t expecting so many people; who are Michael’s parents?”

  Bella and Michael introduce themselves, and then proceed to introduce all of us to him.

  “Mr. And Mrs. Vizzano, is everyone going to be involved with Michael’s care?” He seems surprised.

  “Please call me Bella. The answer is yes, and he also has another uncle and aunt that will be arriving from Switzerland, at some point. I assure you, we are a very close family.” She leans her head on my shoulder and squeezes my hand. I want to make all her pain go away and handle this for her, but I know she needs to do this. I squeeze her hand back, giving her the support she needs.

  “Okay then, Bella, let me lay out what I see will be our best course of action. We have caught this early, so that is in his favor. As far as the stem cell tests that were run, the closest match was you, however, I would have liked it to be closer. I hope we won’t need it, but if we do, are there any other relatives that can be tested?” he asks. Bella is not answering and her lips begin to tremble. Michael pulls her into his arms, trying to calm her. My mum pales and Raven pulls her close.

  I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Dr. Dave, Junior has a grandfather that we are not in touch with. If need be, I will take care of it. For now, why don’t we focus on what we can do, please.”

  “Yes, of course. The first thing I want you to know is that his treatment will be over the course of three years due to the different phases it requires. I like to explain this to families first so that they can begin to mentally prepare for the commitment this unexpected illness will take.” He pauses and looks around at every one of us in the room. Michael and Bella nod in understanding. “He will be allowed to go home for some periods of time. I understand that you reside in Scotland?”

  “That’s right,” I speak up.

  “Well, I would prefer, during treatment, that he doesn’t leave the country.” He grabs a folder off of his desk. “The first part of the treatment will take a month. It’s called Remission induction. Remission doesn’t mean he is cured, it is only the first stage.” he says the name slowly as he pulls sheets of paper from the folder and hands us each one. I look down and see that it has all of the info on it for the first phase. “The goal of this first treatment is to kill the leukemia cells that are in Michael’s blood and bone marrow. He will first get a blood transfusion, and then I will administer chemotherapy and steroids. I will give you a more detailed packet, outlining all the treatment. However, I would rather go over it with you before each one. It can be very overwhelming and he might not need all of it.” He leans back on the edge of his desk and crosses one foot over the other as he tosses the folder down on it. His eyes soften as he looks around at all of us again. “Please know this is not a death sentence, his odds are very good. Bella, Michael . . . you did nothing wrong.” He gives a nod of encouragement. “Now, what questions does everyone have?”

  I put aside my fear and begin to go through my list. “Is this so
mething that can be inherited? Should my daughter be tested? How much are you going to tell Junior? What do you need us to do or not do?” He seems to be listening intently. Not once has he treated us like just another number.

  “Mr. Phillips—”

  “—Please, call me Jax.”

  “Jax, there is no evidence that Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia is hereditary. As far as what I plan to tell Michael, I always explain the leukemia in a way a child can understand it. I also make them a part of the treatment every step of the way. Children are very smart and expect to be treated as such. When speaking with Michael, I will always refer to the cancer as ALL. What I need for every one of you to do is stay positive around him. He will sense your fear, and that is not good for him.” He gives us all a slight stern look. “Now, it was brought to my attention that you will be providing his home schooling?”

  “Yes, my wife, Raven, and his Aunt Jackie are both teachers.”

  “That’s fine. I will provide you with his schedule. There will be plenty to keep him busy here. Between his treatment, schooling, and the different events we plan for the kids, I doubt Michael will get bored. Now if you don’t have any other questions, I would like to go meet him.”

  “Actually, I have one more question. Why the superhero figures?” I couldn’t help it; curiosity was killing the cat.

  He puts his pen down and smiles. “Every child that comes through here gets to pick his or her favorite. That figure stays with them the entire time. They sleep with it, they shower with it, and they get their treatment with it. That figure becomes a very important friend. It’s the friend that helps them fight to live. Through their journey, they learn all about the figure they chose and how and why they became a superhero. They become that hero. How about you take me to meet Michael now?”

  We all turn and file out the door. I stop before leaving and look back at the figures. I freeze, and then a smile hits my face. I know exactly which one Junior will choose. “Jax, are you okay?” Raven calls me, snapping my focus back. All I have to do is point to the shelf, and she begins to laugh.