by Nina Bruhns
"Thanks, Lilly. Show him in." Tanya rose and looped her arm through Cole's as they turned to the door. "I want you at Rincon by the weekend, nuyukssum. No excuses."
"You're asking a lot of me, T."
"No more than you can handle. It's time to move on with your life. Put the past behind you and look ahead. I know you can do it."
He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll think about it, my cousin."
* * *
Chapter 17
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Later that afternoon Cole was still thinking about what Tanya had said. He stretched out in his easy chair and bit into his bologna sandwich. It was the third time in a row he'd had that same pitiful dinner entrée after skipping lunch. He told himself he was too busy to make full hot meals like Rini always did, but he knew that was a crock. It was only three in the afternoon and he had nothing to do but mope. He simply had no appetite for anything she hadn't cooked.
Setting his beer on the ottoman, he picked up a small stack of stuff sitting there. One-handed, he sifted through the credit cards, receipts and checkbook Rini had left scattered on the kitchen table when she'd fled. He spent a long time contemplating each one. Staring at the name embossed on them.
Katarina Lonetree.
It sounded melodic and right. Just like a love song.
He shuffled the pile, picking up a picture he'd fished out of his desk drawer the day she'd left. The photo showed them at their wedding reception at Alex and Brad's, having been snapped just at the moment he'd suggested they take their leave. The look on her face was enough to bring a grown man to his knees.
Insecurity, apprehension, even fear were all there in her eyes. But underlying everything was a look of pure adoration. It was obvious she thought the sun rose and set in the man she was looking at. Him—Cole Ace-Jerk Lonetree.
How could he have missed seeing that look all this time? Was Tanya right? Had he waited and waited for a commitment from her when all it would have taken to ensure a lifetime of happiness was a commitment from himself? He closed his eyes and groaned out loud, holding the picture to his chest. Oh, Rini, forgive me, darling. What a fool I've been.
"Cole?"
Startled, he jerked his eyes open. "Rini?" He leaped up from the chair, scattering all but the picture he clutched in his fist. "Oh. Alex." Disappointment crushed him.
"Sorry, Cole. Just me. You didn't hear my knock."
He smiled bleakly and gave her a sincere hug. Since the day of Chance's birth, Alex had, for some reason, turned into his staunchest supporter. He wasn't quite sure what the test had been, but he was glad he'd passed. "A sight for sore eyes. What brings you to this sorry house?"
"The front door was open. I wasn't sure you'd let me in…"
"Of course I will. Want a beer?"
"No thanks. My stomach's been a bit jumpy since Rini…" Spotting the picture in his hand, her mouth curved up. She gestured to it. "Is this a good sign? Last I heard you still hadn't spoken."
He led her to the couch and perched beside her. "I want her back, Alex. I love her. Tanya has the crazy notion I'd never have lost her if I'd told her that."
Alex let out a breath and sank back into the cushions. "That about sums it up."
"Why the hell didn't you tell me this before?" He scrubbed his face with his hands. He was whining. He couldn't believe it.
She grinned. "None of my business. Besides, I figured you'd have plenty of time to come to your senses. Who'd ever guess Rini would have the strength to leave as soon as she did? It took two years with David."
"Just my luck she changed."
Alex laid a hand on his arm. "Yes. Your luck, and your doing. You're good for her, Cole. She blossomed with you. Now, go get her back before she takes root somewhere else."
Suddenly, he had an awful, terrible thought. "How does she like her new job?"
"Loves it. She can't stop talking about how great Dr. Redcloud is and—" Alex stopped in midsentence, her mouth forming an O when she darted a glance at his crestfallen face. "But I'm sure there are plenty of nursing jobs up here she'll like just as much."
"Yeah. Sure." He stood, jamming his hands in his pockets. Maybe there was some flaw in her new routine he could use to convince her the job wasn't so great. That she'd be better off with him—just in case his declaration of love was too little, too late. "Where's Chance while she's at work?"
Alex brightened. "She found a wonderful woman who loves taking care of him. She lives just a couple of blocks from the health service. I sure hope I'll find someone as reliable as Mrs. Padilla when—"
He jerked to attention. "Who?"
"Her name is Lanie Padilla. She's a treas—"
His jaw clamped and his eyes narrowed. "She's got that woman watching my baby?"
She nodded uncertainly. "Cole? What's wrong? Oh, God, is she an ax murderer or something?"
"Worse." No way. He grabbed his jacket and keys and stormed out. "Lock the door when you leave, Alex," he shouted over his shoulder.
No way was that woman getting her hands on his son. Not after what she'd done to her own.
* * *
Smiling, Katarina hung back in the doorway for a moment and watched Mrs. Padilla and Chance, who were playing on a satiny quilt spread on her living room floor. The woman was remarkable. Katarina thanked God every day for sending her.
Chance spotted her standing there and squealed, kicking his plump little legs and arms in the air, a silly toothless grin smeared across his face.
"Hey there, little tiger," she cooed, stepping forward and scooping him up, squeezing him to her. "Did you miss your mommy?"
He gurgled in response.
"He hardly had time," Mrs. Padilla said, chuckling. "Between his two naps and you spending your entire lunch hour here with him."
"But Mommy misses her baby boy so much," she said in baby talk, tickling his tummy. Chance nuzzled her breast and she laughed. "I know what you missed."
"Would you like to sit down and feed him before you go? We can chat."
"Just for a few minutes, thanks, Mrs. Padilla. That would be nice."
"Please, call me Lanie. How about some tea?"
"Sounds wonderful. I've been running all day." She sank onto the sofa and stared down at her uniform, wondering what the best way to approach Chance's feeding would be.
Lanie dug a flannel receiving blanket out of the diaper bag and handed it to her. "There. In case my son comes in. The shock might kill him." She winked, her eyes sparkling, then went in to set water to boil.
Warmed by her thoughtfulness, Katarina watched Lanie move around the narrow galley kitchen, which was separated from the living room by a breakfast bar. "How old is he, your son?" she asked conversationally.
"Thirty-one."
"Oh!" Rini's eyes widened, then she burst out in giggles. "Yes, I see what you mean." She adjusted Chance at her breast. "How many kids do you have?"
Lanie halted with her hand on the whistling kettle, then jerked it away from the hot steam and dabbed at her fingers with a towel. "Two. I have two sons." She turned and stared intently at her. "What did your husband say when you told him I'd be watching the baby?"
"Why does everyone ask me that?" Katarina shifted uneasily under her scrutiny. "I'm sure he'll be as pleased as I am."
Lanie brought the tea tray in and set it on the low table in front of the sofa. She fiddled with the napkins a bit and twirled the plate of cookies on the tray so the big gooey ones were in front of Katarina. "He doesn't know, then."
Katarina picked up a cookie and nibbled on it. "It won't be a problem."
Lanie's brows lifted skeptically. "Don't count on that. My guess is when he finds out, he'll be storming through that door in record time."
Melancholy had seeped into the older woman's voice. But what possible reason could there be for…?
"You see, I'm—"
Oh, Lord. Their eyes met and Katarina realized with dawning horror that she was looking at the one woman on earth Cole would never allow within
a mile of his son.
"I'm his biological mother."
Her heart sank. "Oh, Lanie! He'll kill me!"
"Me, more likely." She made an attempt at a light tone, but her voice cracked on the words.
Good Lord, Lanie Padilla was Chance's grandmother! "What are we going to do?" Katarina groaned and slumped down on the sofa. "We'll just have to reason with him, that's all."
Lanie patted her hand. "Somehow, reason is not a word I'd use in the same sentence with Colton Lonetree and Lanie Padilla."
"But why? I just don't understand this … this hang-up he's got about you. Lots of adopted kids are reunited with their birth parents and are thrilled about it."
"I don't know, Rini." She shook her head sadly. "I made every effort to see him when he came back to Rincon as a teenager. He would have nothing to do with me then, and he still won't. I guess my giving him away is something he just can't forgive."
They sat quietly for several minutes, the sound of Chance nursing contentedly blending with birdcalls and the rustle of leaves filtering in through the open front door.
Katarina thought about Cole not forgiving his mother. Forlornly, she finally understood why he had been so angry when he'd thought she was considering giving up their baby. And why he wouldn't ever forgive her after what she'd done to him, twice now. She had committed the one unpardonable sin—she'd abandoned him, just as his own mother had done. And she'd taken his child to boot. Colton Lonetree could never love a woman who had done these things.
She fought down a sob. Ever since she'd left him, she had been hoping and praying he would burst through the door at work or at home and sweep her into his arms. Beg her to come back, declaring be couldn't live without her.
Now she knew he would charge through the door, all right. But not to kiss her and tell her he loved her. She swallowed hard to hold back her burning tears, her heart tearing in two. She hadn't realized how desperately she wanted to go back to him.
She loved her job here, and the people were wonderful. But when she searched her soul, deep down, she knew she would never be truly happy without Cole. And now she knew her worst fears had come true. He would never love her. Katarina closed her watery eyes and shuddered out a sigh.
From the street outside came the screech of brakes and the loud rapport of a heavy door slamming.
And it looked like he was here to tell her so.
* * *
Cole brought the truck to a thundering halt in front of the small stucco bungalow he knew belonged to Lanie Padilla. He catapulted out of the cab and stormed up the path. This was just the perfect end to a really perfect week. Yes, sir. He was mad as hell, and somebody was going to pay.
He slung open the screen door and shot through it. There sat Rini and the Padilla woman, cozy as could be, sipping tea on the couch. He searched frantically for Chance, spotting him lying on an odd, faded purple quilt at Rini's feet, sucking contentedly on a toy.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" he demanded, too irate to know which woman he was addressing.
Lanie Padilla set her tea mug shakily on a coffee table. "Hello, Cole," she said in a soft voice, rising to her feet.
He clenched his jaw tight, not wanting to speak to the woman at all. He'd managed to avoid it all these years, and it galled him to have to exchange words with her now. He turned to Rini. "How could you have done this behind my back?" he snapped through gritted teeth.
On the floor, Chance jerked, startled, and gazed wide-eyed at Cole, then burst into tears. Just great. Everyone was thrilled to see him.
He clamped an iron grip on his temper and reached down to snatch Chance up before Rini could get to him. "There, there, little one. Daddy didn't mean to scare you." He kissed his cheek and pulled him to his chest to comfort him.
Rini was watching him with shiny, doleful eyes. His heart melted, and for a split second he thought he might break down and draw her up into their embrace.
But he needed to know what was going on. "This arrangement is not acceptable, Rini. You should have asked before you hired this woman to watch my son."
Lanie Padilla looked at him levelly. "She didn't know who I was when she hired me. I just told her a few minutes ago."
He sneered. "Because you knew I'd be coming to put an end to it." He pinned his gaze on Rini, who looked about like Chance had—just before he'd erupted in tears. "You're coming with me. Get your stuff." He swung to the other woman. "You're fired. And don't ever talk to my wife or son again."
Rini's eyes darted up in surprise at the possessiveness in his tone, but then filled with a determination he'd never seen before. "Oh, no you don't, Colton Lonetree. You can't stomp in here like a caveman, shouting and giving orders. I won't have it!"
He stared at her, shocked speechless by the force of her statement and the flash of fire in her eyes. It was the first time she'd ever stood up to him on anything—the first time she'd ever even raised her voice that he could remember. He nearly grinned.
"She's your mother, Cole. Talk to her!"
That brought him back to reality with a bang, and he scowled. "She may have given birth to me," he hissed, "but she is not my mother. Let's go."
"No." Rini crossed her arms over her chest and sat back resolutely. "If you're so sure you were the victim back then, you've got nothing to lose from hearing her side of the story." She narrowed her eyes in challenge.
He met her glare with one of his own. "Seems to me I'm holding all the cards," he said, glancing down at Chance, who had stuck the end of Cole's tie into his mouth. "I could just walk out the door and leave you here."
"And get charged with kidnapping," she retorted, the sparks practically shooting out of her eyes.
Her newfound self-assurance looked good on her. He felt absurdly aroused. Jeezus. Hell of a time to think about—
Abruptly he paced to the window and gazed out over the green valley, bouncing Chance on his arm. The majestic purple mountains rose in the background like a Hollywood set. They looked unreal. Sort of like this situation.
He loved Rini and wanted her back. If he left now, he could kiss that little scenario goodbye. But if he stayed, what would he be forced to endure?
Holding his face impassive as granite, he turned and leaned against the windowsill. "All right. I'm listening."
The woman who would be his mother clutched her hands together in front of her and suddenly looked scared to death. She hadn't moved an inch since rising, but now she stepped nervously away from the couch. Rini's eyes followed her every move, radiating support and encouragement. Cole didn't like that one bit.
When the woman spoke, he had to strain to hear her. "I'm not sure how much others have told you—"
"Nothing," he said loudly. "I made it clear I wasn't interested."
Rini frowned at him. He frowned back.
"I see," his birth mother said quietly. "Oh, Rini," she said in a rush, "I appreciate your trying to do this, but it won't work. Why don't you just go with him? I'll be okay." She hurried toward the back bedrooms.
Damn! He couldn't let her get away. Without quite realizing what he was doing, Cole strode over and caught hold of her. Her skittish gaze halted on his hand grasping her arm, then she peered uncertainly up at him.
He had to endure this. For Rini. He took a deep, cleansing breath, and hoped like hell he wasn't going to regret it. He let go of her arm. "No. Rini's right. This is way overdue. Tell me. Please. I want to know."
She looked into his eyes and must have seen the attempt he was making, and possibly what it cost him to do so. Swallowing, she moved away, walking a circuit around the room, touching a doily here, a pillow there, a picture frame on the mantel.
"I didn't give you up willingly, Cole. I want you to know that. If I'd had any kind of choice, I would never have let you go."
He'd probably known that all along, deep down. But hearing it from her like this, now, punched a hole in both his gut and his tenacious bitterness. With a sinking feeling, he nodded.
&n
bsp; "I was fifteen when I got pregnant. Young and careless."
Where had he heard that before?
"Your father was from Pechanga Rez, right up the road. Joseph Perada was his name."
Cole's world suddenly tilted on its axis, his stomach doing a free fall. Dizzily, he watched Lanie clutch the edge of the mantel, her knuckles going white. He clung to Chance for dear life.
Her voice trembled. "I've never told anyone that before." She drew herself up and rubbed her arms. "He died in an accident shortly after. Who knows what might have happened if…"
Cole's head spun. His father was dead. Joseph Perada. Your father. His father was dead. That's why he never came for you. "A-accident?" he managed to stammer.
Lanie grasped the end of the thick braid flowing over her shoulder and twirled it around her finger. "He and some buddies were at a party. Drank too much. The usual story." Around and around.
"Did you … love him?" Somehow he already knew the answer, and his heart lodged thickly in his throat
"We were young, but what we had was special." Her dark eyes—so much like his own, he reflected absently—softened. "Yeah, I loved him."
She cleared the rasp from her voice. "His folks didn't approve of me, of course, but we met whenever we could. His brother had an old Chevy he'd borrow to come down to see me, when he was supposed to be going to the library."
"Why didn't his family approve?" Rini interjected from the couch.
Cole switched Chance to the other arm and went to sit next to her. He'd heard stories about Lanie's parents. At the time, they had just helped confirm his low opinion of her.
"My mom was a drunk. Dad couldn't hold a job and was always in trouble for gambling. The social workers came around constantly, threatening to take me away—and did a few times—even though I had aunts and uncles willing to let me live with them." Her expression fell in defeat. "In the end, they took you instead."
He gritted his teeth, torn between anguish and anger. Through his work at the center, he knew the story was more than plausible.
"That's awful," Rini murmured. "How can they just take a woman's baby like that? It's inhuman."
