by Nina Bruhns
"And what was that?"
"I told my parents about Jeff."
He sat up straight. "Holy moly! How'd they react?"
"My father is nothing if not predictable." She sighed.
"Hell, Lindsay." Cole shook his head. He'd once hated her for what she'd done to him in their youth, and had come close again these past few months on her son's behalf, but now his heart went out to her. Nobody deserved to lose a parent's love over something like this. "I'm really sorry."
She looked up, her eyes glistening with tears. "You're a good man, Cole. The second biggest mistake I ever made was tricking you into marrying me."
His mouth twisted in a wry grimace. "What was the biggest? Jeff?"
"No. Letting you go."
His brows rose in surprise, then he relaxed in ironic laughter. Reaching out, he tapped the end of her nose. "Don't get caught in the nostalgia, darlin'. It would never have worked, and you know it."
That won a smile from her. "Yeah. I know." She put her hand over his and held it between them on the table. "You've found the love of your life, and it isn't me."
She had to remind him. "Found and lost."
"Lost? Did you have a fight?"
"She's leaving me."
"Oh, Cole." Lindsay took his face in her hands and stroked his hair away from his face. "Why?"
He braced himself against the hollow pain of Rini's betrayal. "Seems she no longer needs me. She graduated today. Got herself a new job and a new life. Without me."
Lindsay gazed at him contemplatively. "I don't believe it for a minute. You're too good a man to throw away like that. There has to be another explanation."
He snorted. "Right."
"Go to her, Cole. Tell her you love her and have no intention of letting her go. You do love her, don't you?"
"She doesn't care how I feel."
Lindsay rose from the table. "She cares. Believe me, your wife cares."
He tossed a few dollars on the table and got up, too, frowning to hear his own words quoted back at him. He searched Lindsay's face, wondering how their roles had suddenly switched. "Maybe. Will you be okay?"
She smiled and slipped into his embrace. "Yeah. I'll get through it. Dad'll come around. Both of them will."
"If you ever need anything…"
"Don't call you, right?"
He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Call me. I gotta go. Let me know how it goes with Jeff and your dad."
"I will." She looked up. "And Cole?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks." She kissed him lightly, her expression one of coming to terms with something she had been struggling over for a long, long time. "For everything."
He nodded, then turned and walked out
To find Rini and find out what the hell was going on. Maybe Lindsay was right and he'd gotten it all wrong. Again.
* * *
Katarina finished her tea and rinsed out her cup. She had to admit, she felt better having forced herself to relax and observe the ritual of afternoon tea. Surely she hadn't blown it nearly as badly as she feared.
Gathering up Chance, she resolved to find Cole and talk things over. Maybe he'd convince her he really did love her, even if he couldn't say it.
Then again, maybe not.
Maybe she should take the opportunity to go away for awhile. Just to see how she really felt about him. About whether she could go on living with a man who didn't love her. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take Dr. Redcloud up on her offer, if only for a few days or weeks.
But whatever Rini did, she needed to talk to Cole.
Figuring he was probably at his office, she drove straight there.
"Sorry, he hasn't been in today," Charlie told her.
"Any ideas?"
"Nope." He went back to his keyboard, his long braid dangling over one shoulder. She felt like yanking it. Lord, he was uncommunicative. And far too loyal to his boss.
Tamping down her aggravation, she hoisted Chance on a hip and headed for the door. Where to now?
Walking to the car, she scanned the street, looking for his truck. It was difficult to see for all the traffic, but there it was, about half a block up. She shifted Chance to the other hip and looked around again noticing the large, plate glass window of a café on the opposite corner. That seemed as good a place as any to start. She made her way across one street and waited for the light to change so she could cross the other.
It was then she saw them. Seated at a cozy window table, Cole and the woman were the only customers in the section. As the traffic light turned green and then red again, she watched in growing anguish. They talked intimately, their heads bowed together over the table.
Katarina clutched Chance to her, hurt tearing into her breast. This was not some product of misplaced jealousy. This was real. She had told Cole she was leaving, and he'd wasted no time in running straight to the comfort and sympathy of another woman. It was all Katarina could do not to flee.
With leaden legs, she forced herself to move down the line of parked cars, stopping directly across the street from the pair. They were holding hands over the table. Through tears, Katarina watched as the woman put her hands to Cole's face and tenderly caressed it. Far from objecting, he caught her hands in his fingers and held them. This must be his Obsession.
A strangled moan escaped her. She couldn't take any more. Whirling, she fled back to the corner. The only thing that kept her from plunging through traffic to the other side was Chance in her arms. Forced to wait for the light, she turned for one last look. Cole and the woman stood with their arms around each other.
When they kissed, Katarina's heart shattered completely.
* * *
"Rini, where are you?" Cole flung open the door and called out. "Honey, we need to talk!"
The sound of silence reverberated through the house like the bars clanging shut on a cell.
"Rini?"
Oh, God! She'd left!
He tore through the house, shouting her name and cursing. He slammed back the closet door and lost his breath when he saw it was nearly empty of her few belongings. Her toiletries were gone from the dresser.
Running to Chance's room, he nearly stumbled on a roll of garbage bags on the floor. No suitcases, he thought, a strange calm settling over him. He inspected the diaper table and jerked open the small chest of drawers. Bare.
He sat heavily on Rini's four-poster and buried his face in his hands. A thick, icy darkness slithered over him, wrapping itself around his heart, numbing his mind and deepest emotions.
So it was true. It had happened again.
Sitting there, feeling completely alone in the world, he just couldn't believe it. Perfidious woman! How could he ever have trusted her? How could he have been so stupid? The sun hadn't even set on her graduation day and she'd already abandoned him and taken away the child of his heart.
"Oh, Rini, Rini, how could you have done it?"
* * *
Katarina swiped at the rogue tear streaking down her cheek, and quickly stuck her handkerchief back into her white uniform pocket. It wouldn't do to be caught crying her first day on the job. Again.
Determinedly, she returned her attention to checking the charts Dr. Redcloud had requested for tomorrow morning's appointments. But with a will of its own, her mind wandered back to Cole and the ache in her heart. Tears threatened in earnest.
She was plagued with doubts. She missed him terribly and was miserable over what she had seen in that café. But the traitorous thought that she had surely gotten everything all wrong—just like last time—wouldn't leave her alone.
Yet even if she was wrong about the woman in the café, would it really make a difference? He still didn't love her.
"Rini, are you still here?" Gloria Redcloud stopped in front of her desk.
Rini dashed her hand surreptitiously at her damp cheek. "I just wanted to go over tomorrow morning's charts. I'm done now."
"You go on home to that little baby of yours. He's such a
cutie."
Katarina smiled. "Yes, he is. I'm so lucky Mrs. Padilla is willing to watch him while I work. She's wonderful."
"I'm sure Lanie's thrilled to get the opportunity." Dr. Redcloud leaned against the edge of her desk. "How does Cole feel about that arrangement?"
"Cole?" Katarina busied herself closing up a chart and straightening the stack. She hadn't exactly told the whole truth when she'd shown up at the health service yesterday. "I, uh… He's caught up in court this week. I haven't been able to talk to him yet."
Dr. Redcloud studied her for a moment before heading for the lab. "Well, good luck," she said over her shoulder.
"Thanks," Katarina mumbled, watching her retreat. She didn't have time to ponder the odd comment, because at that moment Tanya burst through the door.
"Hey, Rin!"
"Hi, Tani." She gave her a hug. "What are you doing down here on a weeknight?"
"Had something to deliver to Mom, and I had to see for myself if the rumors were true."
"Uh-oh. Do I get a lecture or comfort?"
Tanya gave her a compassionate look. "Bit of both?"
Katarina smiled wistfully, grabbing her purse. "Comfort, please. I don't need you to tell me what a fool I am. I've already started to realize that."
"Yeah. A fool for thinking Cole doesn't love you."
Her smile faded. She shook her head as they walked to their cars. "Lust isn't the same as love."
"Tell me about it."
"And I saw him with another woman."
"Cole?" Tanya stared at her dubiously. "It wasn't what you think."
"They were kissing."
"It definitely wasn't what you think. I don't care what it looked like."
She sighed, knowing in her heart that Tanya was probably right. "How can you be so sure?"
"I know Colton Lonetree. If he wanted someone else, he'd divorce you first."
She made a deprecating noise. "Sure he would."
"He loves you, Rini."
She sighed again. "You're wrong. He doesn't love me."
"Bull."
"Then why does he refuse to say it? Why hasn't he called?"
"'Cause he's a flaming idiot."
"And what about the woman at the café?" she continued, attempting to ignore Tanya's sarcasm despite the smile she felt tugging at her lips. "You know, the one he was kissing?"
"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, if you'd just ask him."
She threw up her hands in exasperation because, God help her, she had reached the same conclusion.
Tanya stopped in the middle of the dusty parking area and took her arm. "Rini, if he told you he loved you, and you knew he meant it, would you go back to him?"
Katarina groaned, discouraged again. "In a hot minute. But that's not going to happen. I gave him opening after opening, and he never took them. Even if this woman turns out to be his long-lost sister—" she shook her head morosely "—he doesn't love me, Tani. Without real love the attraction will eventually fade, and I'll be left with a husband who doesn't love me and no longer even desires me. He'll be unhappy, and he'll find fault with everything about me."
"It sounds like you've had personal experience with this."
"I have. And it would kill me to have to face the day Cole turned into another David. I've already lived through that once. I love him more than I can say, but I can't put myself through it again. I just have to accept the situation and try to move on."
"I'm telling you, he loves you, Rini. If he isn't down here on his knees by the weekend I'll eat my hat."
"You don't wear a hat," Katarina reminded her wryly. "Wanna come with me to pick up Chance?" she asked, putting an end to the depressing conversation.
Tanya checked her watch. "Sorry. I promised Mom I'd bring her some applesauce before dinner. Who've you got watching him?"
"Lanie Padilla. She's been a godsend. I'm so—"
She halted. Tanya was staring at her slack-jawed, her face as pale as Katarina's own. "What is it?" Rini grew alarmed. "Is there something wrong with her?"
"No! No, not at all." Tanya seemed to recover and turned to her car. "Aunt Lanie's terrific. I'm just surprised she offered. Does, um, Cole know yet?"
Katarina lifted her chin. "Everyone at Rincon must know by now. I expect he's heard through the grapevine."
Unlocking the door, Tanya mumbled, "I doubt it."
Katarina got the distinct feeling there was something going on that everyone knew about except her. It made her very nervous. "Wha—"
"Listen, Rini." Tanya cut her off, climbing into the car. "Mom's waiting for that applesauce, but she wanted me to stop by and ask you and Chance to dinner. Come on over after you get him, okay? We can talk more then."
Katarina nodded, waving to Tanya as she roared out of the lot.
* * *
"Heard you were at Rincon yesterday." Cole sank into one of the lumpy chairs in front of Tanya's desk at her office at the Southern California Native American Center.
"Yeah. Took Mom that photo of Charlie's I'd promised to frame for her." She looked at him expectantly.
Cole wasn't about to beg for information. Or demand to know if she'd seen Rini. Whether she'd asked about him…
He straightened. "Thanks for lending us the room here at the center."
Tanya lifted a brow, but didn't comment on his obvious evasion. "How'd it go?"
Jeff had called and asked if they could talk over some of the things he was going through. Cole had just come from that meeting and was feeling a bit vulnerable. The boy reminded him way too much of himself at that age.
How could Cole pretend to counsel someone else, when he still hadn't faced his own demons after all these years? He sighed. "He's a good kid, just real angry."
Tanya smirked. "Remind you of anyone you know?"
"Ha ha ha." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jeff and Lindsay have apparently been talking every day. He says her dad seems to be coming around a little."
"That's good. Hard to believe a father would consider disowning his own daughter over something like that nowadays."
He pursed his lips and shrugged. "Not so hard. Some parents don't give a damn. Some care too much."
"And which category do you fall into?"
He scowled. "Not funny, T."
Licking a finger, his cousin rubbed a coffee stain off her pristine desk. "Yeah, what the hell. You can always get to know Chance when he's fourteen."
He shot out of the chair. "Hey!" She was deliberately baiting him.
"Well?" she demanded, suddenly belligerent. "Just what is it going to take before you realize what a class-A fool you are?"
"I'm outta here. I don't need this from you, too." He grabbed his briefcase.
"That's right. Run away from it."
"Dammit, Tanya! I'm not the one who left! And I just spent the entire morning listening to Mom's sterling opinion of me, so don't you start, okay?" He had managed to control his temper with his mother, but he sure wasn't going to put up with any crap from his own cousin, best friend or no.
"You talk to Rini yet?"
He set his jaw, determined not to be taken in by any of Tanya's inevitable arguments—and ruthlessly throttled the flutter in his heart at the mere sound of Rini's name. "I have nothing to say to her."
Tanya snorted. "That was painfully obvious to everyone from the beginning. I'm just amazed she put up with your tight-lipped wounded warrior act for as long as she did."
He slammed the briefcase to the floor, glaring at her. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"
She surged to her feet and drew herself up to her full height, braced her hands on the desk and leaned right into his face. "It means if just once in your wretched life you'd thought of someone else's feelings, if you'd just once opened that mouth and said 'I love you,' she'd still be with you! That's what it's supposed to mean!"
He ground his teeth. "You're on drugs, chica. Rini used me to get her degree, then took off. End of story."
"Well,
isn't that convenient," Tanya mocked. "Spared once again from the dreadful ordeal of loving someone."
He grabbed his tie and straightened it, seeking its soothing texture. "That was a cheap shot, T. Especially coming from you."
She dropped abruptly into her chair, looking properly chastised. "Yes, well. It's not like I have anyone crying himself to sleep over me." Her statement was sharp, but the look in her eyes was sympathetic.
The wind knocked out of his sails, Cole fell back into the seat, propping his arms on his knees. "I miss Chance as much as he misses me," he said, deliberately misinterpreting her words. "I miss him like mad. And believe me, I'm going to fight—"
"I'm not talking about Chance and you know it."
He looked up, half wanting her to convince him Rini was miserable down at Rincon. "She's the one who left. If she's cryin', don't blame me."
"No, not you. Never you." Tanya sighed deeply. "Cole, all she wants is three little words. Is that so much to ask? You love her. You know you do!"
He lifted his chin. "It doesn't matter how I feel. I can't trust her. She took my son and abandoned me."
"And why do you think she did that?"
He shrugged uncomfortably, twisting his tie between his fingers. "Does she need a reason? It's what always happens."
Tanya rolled her eyes skyward. "Oh, puh-leeze. Not that old tune again. Rini wants to be loved by the man she married. Nothing less will do. Is that so hard to understand?"
He looked at his cousin, not quite believing what she was telling him. But knowing he had to find out. In the past few days he'd rediscovered what life was like without Rini. It wasn't worth living.
"You really think it's that simple?" he asked, hope stealing through him. "That she'll come back if I tell her I love her?"
Tanya smiled. "I know it is. That and an explanation of why you were kissing some woman in a café the day she left."
Cole's jaw dropped nearly to his knees. "Kissing—? You've got to be… That was Lindsay and we were just talking. Well, mostly," he added with a prick of guilt. Damn.
"Don't tell me, tell Rini."
There was a knock on the door and the receptionist stuck her head in. "Reeve Southwell to see you."
