Mistake Me Not

by Scarlett Finn

  ‘I won’t break them.’

  ‘Just... no promises,’ she said. ‘I’m in, ok? We’re in now; neither of us know where this will end. But, we’re in it now.’

  He pushed her hair back from her face, which tilted her chin up; he took advantage of the position of her mouth for a while before he spoke again.

  ‘So, my room, or Sorcha’s?’

  ‘Yours,’ she said without hesitation. ‘Sorcha will want to talk all night. I’ll get no sleep.’

  ‘Don’t expect any in my room either.’

  ‘What did I say about promises?’ she flirted.

  ‘That’s not a promise. It’s an airtight guarantee.’

  Sorcha left the man she’d been dancing with begging for more and swept Lacie and Ryder into her wake and they got all the way outside, across the parking area, and into the motel office with Sorcha talking the whole way. Ryder kept her hand and Sorcha stayed on her other side arm-in-arm chattering on.

  Sorcha kept talking, quite happy to let Ryder go to the desk and get their rooms while she told Lacie about the guy who’d been hitting on her in the steakhouse. The pair followed Ryder who took them into Sorcha’s room.

  ‘Stay,’ he said to her then gave her a kiss and left them alone.

  Lacie didn’t know how long he would take but she knew he was going for their things.

  ‘He’s yummy,’ Sorcha said kicking off her shoes as she flopped down on the bed.

  ‘Who?’ Lacie asked. ‘Ryder, or the guy at the bar?’

  ‘Ryder,’ Sorcha hummed. ‘He’s so... male.’

  ‘That’s good,’ Lacie said. ‘Otherwise my attraction to him would be kicking up all sorts of questions.’

  ‘You’re different with him,’ Sorcha said unbuttoning her blouse then taking out her hairpins before discarding the lot on the floor. ‘You feel it, don’t you?’

  When Lacie smirked, Sorcha squealed and tossed her skirt across the room. ‘Yeah.’

  ‘I told you, didn’t I?’

  ‘I don’t want to get in too deep,’ Lacie said. ‘Maybe it’s all a sex thing—‘

  ‘It’s not for him,’ Sorcha said. ‘The guy looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. Yeah, he looks like he wants to gobble you up too, but he definitely wants to take you home to his Mama. This could be it for you! Wouldn’t that be cool? Both of us settling down at the same time?’

  Lacie laughed. ‘I’m not sure I was ever wild like you, and I’m not sure you’re the settling down type.’ Lacie had seen some of the specimens trotted out in front of Sorcha by her parents like they were high-pedigree prize studs. But Sorcha had never been satisfied; she had a boldness and a confidence Lacie envied her. But, there had been many times – like tonight – Lacie had been whirled along for the ride.

  ‘How can I be here Lace?’ Sorcha grumbled and grabbed her friend down onto the bed beside her. ‘I have a thing in me... a human thing.’

  Sorcha plastered Lacie’s hand onto her belly. ‘Are you ok?’ Lacie asked.

  ‘I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel pregnant, and I don’t know if I want to settle down.’

  ‘You know it will be ok. We’ll all help you.’

  ‘I know,’ Sorcha sighed sounding anything but convinced.

  ‘What about Bruce?’ Lacie asked. ‘How do you feel about him?’

  ‘I have no idea. My family will go crazy if I’m not marrying the father of my child. I’ll be disinherited... but they won’t be much keener about me bringing a felon into the fold.’

  ‘You can’t make assumptions. We don’t know how involved he is yet.’

  ‘Do you think we’re going to find out? Will we find out what he’s up to?’

  ‘Yes,’ Lacie said.

  ‘How can you be so sure?’

  ‘Ryder won’t let it go until we know,’ Lacie answered.

  ‘You’re so lucky,’ Sorcha said. ‘He’s great.’

  ‘You’re just finished telling me you don’t want your fun to be over.’

  ‘It’s not,’ Sorcha exclaimed. ‘My fun is not over yet.’

  ‘No,’ Lacie agreed. Sorcha crawled to the top of the bed and yawned. ‘We’ll get back to the adventure tomorrow.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Sorcha said closing her eyes. ‘Adventure.’

  Lacie pulled the blanket up over her friend and kissed her forehead. ‘Night, sleep tight.’

  After watching Sorcha sleep for so long Lacie began to tire too but just as she pondered lying down with her friend there was a light knock at the door then it opened.

  ‘Trouble?’ she asked when Ryder stepped inside and put Sorcha’s bag at the foot of the bed.

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘I thought you’d forgotten about me.’

  ‘Not a chance,’ he said taking her hands and drawing her to her feet. ‘You can stay here if you want. Remember, there’s no pressure.’

  ‘I’m getting the feeling you want to talk me out of this.’

  With a smile, he twisted a strand of her hair around his forefinger. ‘Do you remember what I said earlier about remembering everything about our first time?’ She nodded. ‘Usually these things are done with so much desperation to get into bed that the whole thing’s over before you have time to think about it. It’s not like that with you. I want to remember this.’

  ‘Aren’t I the lucky little undesirable one,’ she said.

  ‘Hey now, that’s not what I said,’ he said gathering her close and pushing himself against her. ‘If I walk around like this for much longer I’m going to do myself permanent damage, and who knows one day we might want kids.’

  To take them away from Sorcha’s room Ryder linked his fingers between hers. At the mention of kids Lacie reeled – they’d only known each other a few days. Her attraction to him had already forgiven his deception. Usually any lie would put her off a man but she made all the excuses required. He didn’t lie. She assumed. None of it occurred with any malice. No actual harm had been caused other than her feeling silly. She had no reason to think badly of him; he’d gained nothing from the mistake.

  Their room wasn’t next door to Sorcha’s but it was close. As she waited for Ryder to unlock the room, Lacie tried to picture herself as a mother. Conjuring Ryder into the father role was easy. He’d be physical, lots of running around, and sports, rolling about in mud and trips to the seaside to swim, and hike. The trouble she had was imagining if she was capable of the complementary role.

  When he opened the door, he placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her inside. Lacie came up short when she absorbed the features of the room – lit candles covered every surface. In the centre of the stripped down double bed was a single rose next to an ice bucket, which held champagne for the two flutes on the bedside.

  ‘Ryder,’ she breathed. To close and lock the door he crowded in closer behind her. ‘How did you do this?’

  ‘I wasn’t pacing outside trying to talk myself into it,’ he said hooking a finger around her hair to drape it down her back, giving himself access to kiss the side of her neck. ‘I wanted you to know that this was special.’

  ‘Oh Ryder,’ she said spinning into his arms to grab him close. In his embrace the warmth she’d felt for him became an inferno.

  Lacie had never felt overwhelming desire in her life and she’d told him that. Whatever brewed inside her now was unfamiliar – but it had nothing to do with sex.

  ‘Are you ok?’ he asked.

  She nodded against him then made herself break her hold so she could find his eyes. ‘No one’s ever... This is... I honestly don’t know what to say.’

  ‘There’s no pressure,’ he said. ‘This is just as special to me if all we do is make out.’

  ‘Is that the minimum requirement,’ she grinned.

  ‘Yeah,’ he said.

  He guided her to sit on the bed then popped the champagne cork and filled their flutes. While he did, Lacie picked up the rose and took it to her nose.

  ‘I can’
t believe you did all this,’ she said.

  ‘I’m desperate to get you into bed,’ he said giving her a glass then seating himself beside her.

  ‘You are not,’ she said hitting him with the rose then to keep it from being forgotten or crushed she reached past him to put it next to the bed.

  ‘We’re in a not very upmarket motel,’ he said. ‘I didn’t want it to be seedy. I didn’t want you to think that... I wanted to let you know that the location isn’t the best I can do. I’ll do better for you. Circumstances just—‘

  ‘Ryder,’ she said placing a hand on his thigh. ‘I don’t care where we are. I care who we are and that we’re together. Our first kiss was here; it’s somewhat poetic that we would be back here for... this.’

  ‘If you like returning to the scene of the crime it will make our anniversaries damn cheap.’

  ‘Ryder,’ she said clasping his hand.

  ‘You keep saying my name like that and I’ll be inclined to do something crazy.’

  ‘Like what?’

  Removing their glasses and the ice bucket from the equation he set them next to her rose then held both of her hands in one of his, giving himself the freedom to stroke her face. ‘Like make you promise to stay with me forever. I don’t know what this is Lace – you were right about that – neither of us do. But... something about this is right, it’s permanent. I didn’t realise my life was missing anything until I found you and then... I’m wondering what took so long for me to find you.’

  Pushing forward her mouth touched his, and with that slight contact, his eyes flamed, and the devotion became a hunger. Usually to see a man so caught up in desire would leave her with a nagging pain, a frustration, an impatience to get it over with. This time was different. When his eyes flamed she knew hers reflected the same, and she wanted every second of her time with this man to count, and to never end.

  Despite her reservations about being a novice, she didn’t hesitate to kiss him again, to pour into him the things she couldn’t say, the things that wouldn’t articulate themselves because they were ethereal, intangible, yet vibrant within her and ready to explode; to merge herself with him and never be parted again. She kicked off her shoes without breaking their kiss and she gave him a push to get him onto his back. Though she sensed reluctance in him, she flattened her palms to his chest pressing all of her weight onto him then sliding her leg over his lap to straddle her bulge buddy.

  For days she’d felt this insistence yet she’d never been this close; this free to do what she wanted, to get this close and not worry about having to hold back. Her hips moved of their own accord squirming against him, getting that rod tight against her aching nub between them. While fumbling under his tee-shirt, her mouth remained on his. She hadn’t even noticed that his hands were absent until he took hold of her hips and lifted her clear off him. For the first time she felt the shame of inexperience. It hadn’t occurred to her to worry about skill or finesse at this stage; but she’d never done this before. She’d never taken the lead and never allowed herself to explore her own pleasure.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

  From his rigid position sprawled underneath her on the mattress, Lacie worried she might have hurt him. His head stayed tipped back and his eyes remained closed but he held her hips a clear ten inches above his.

  ‘You’re killing me,’ he ground out between his clenched teeth.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said again. ‘I should have let you... I’m not very good at this, and I did tell you—‘

  Her body crashed down on his when he released her; in the same moment he flipped her onto her back and tucked her body beneath his.

  ‘You almost had me coming in my pants like some rookie teenager.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ she frowned tilting her head. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know I—I mean I don’t know how to—‘

  ‘Dusty, you’re better at this than you think, and if you ever figure that out I’ll be in serious trouble.’

  ‘I just wanted to kiss you,’ she said.

  ‘You’re like det-cord,’ he said with half a smile. ‘Curled in the corner all quiet and innocent ready to blow up anything that sparks in your direction.’

  ‘Do you want me to go back to Sorcha’s room?’ she asked.

  With such an abrupt halt to proceedings, she had to wonder if something was wrong because though he smiled there was something tortured in the way he looked at her. However, that ridge was still between them, still there, still eager for a resolution.

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘You just have to give me a second to calm myself down.’

  ‘Ok,’ she said looking past him to the dancing light reflected on the ceiling.

  The candles were beautiful and such a special touch. This seduction was one she’d never forget.

  ‘Your body,’ he grumbled skimming his hand from her hair to her hip.

  ‘What about it?’ she asked.

  ‘I love how you move, how your emotions, your feelings, your desires plug straight into your tight little muscles and make you... move.’

  ‘Can I get up?’ she asked.

  ‘No,’ he said frowning instantly. ‘You’re not going anywhere. I’m bigger, and stronger, and you’re staying put.’

  His response was one of a petulant child being deprived of his favourite toy but she had to smile. ‘I’ll be right back.’ Holding his face she drew his lips down to hers for a brief kiss. ‘Please.’

  ‘I’m not usually so clumsy with this, I promise you,’ he said. ‘You’re just so... I want you so much.’

  ‘Ok,’ she said accepting his claim and this time when she pushed his shoulders he relented and rolled away from her. ‘What is it you Americans say?’ she said skirting the bed to head for the bathroom. ‘We need a little timeout.’

  ‘You’re putting me in a timeout?’ he asked leaping up from the bed. ‘Get back here.’

  With a laugh and a wave, she slunk into the bathroom before he could catch up to her. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to do this, and she wanted to do it tonight. The clawing impatience inside her had nothing to do with nerves, and everything to do with the heat gathered between her thighs; the unquenched thirst for fulfilment she’d been denied.

  Checking her appearance in the mirror, she ran her hands into her hair. Having already fumbled this she didn’t want to make any more mistakes that might delay their union. Somehow, this felt important, this night, this experience, this man. Something told her that tonight was imperative though she internally admitted her inexperience could be masking her arousal as something more significant than it was. Still, her body wanted it, her mind played the possibilities over and over, and she wanted each and every one of them right now. Pulling her top over her head, she tossed it into the corner. Then reaching for the button on her jeans she decided to go all the way. Tormenting barriers had existed between them that kept them apart. She’d broken any mental and emotional barriers down to welcome him. Now she’d get rid of the physical ones too.

  Every relationship she’d ever had left her feeling like more of a prude. In the past she would never have considered stripping herself naked and laying herself bare for anyone. But Ryder made it easy. Everything was comfortable with him, and she would push her own boundaries to experience everything with him.

  Running her hands through her hair again she flipped it over gave it a shake and tossed it back. He might laugh at her but she doubted it. If he wore the expression she anticipated she would combust under his scrutiny.

  She unlocked the door and opened it slowly. ‘Baby, I’m sorry that—‘

  When he saw her he stopped. His words stopped. His body stopped, and his mouth remained open. The only part of him that moved were his eyes as he visually nibbled then gobbled what she put on display.

  ‘You were saying something?’ she asked but he clearly didn’t hear her. ‘Ryder.’

  At the sound of his name he groaned then he literally vaulted the bed to get to her. When he swept
her into his arms her laughter became a squeal because he took her from her feet, and spun her toward the bed as his mouth devoured hers. ‘I want more,’ he growled when he tossed her down onto the bed.

  Her womb contracted at that blank, primal film that settled over him. This was a man with one thing on his mind, and he would get it; he would do whatever it took. He yanked his tee-shirt over his head, and was out of his jeans a flash later. Her mouth parched when she saw the reality of his probe bobbing between his legs. He took himself in one hand as he came down on top of her nibbling her lips, her chin, her throat. His hands were on her breasts followed by his mouth, and his thickness prodded her entrance.

  One of his arms came around her waist and he sucked her tongue into his mouth. Lifting her from the bed be moved his arm from her waist to her hips tilting her opening for maximum penetration potential. She’d forgotten how to breathe, her eyes welled just looking at the girth of him, and now that girth was jabbing its way inside her. Yet, the pulse of him became the pulse of her.

  His body stilled and when she blinked, he was there with her looking down into her eyes with a dedication that had her tearing up for a different reason. ‘Ryder?’ she whispered sliding her hand to the side of his neck. ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘You’re my heaven,’ he said. ‘You’re it Lacie.’ A swelling within her made her tears escape and her breathing cease once more. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you Baby,’ he said stroking her hair with such affection.

  ‘You haven’t,’ she said lifting her head to kiss him. ‘This is... it’s better than I would have ever imagined.’

  ‘It’s about to get a whole lot better,’ he said, and kissed her again.

  This was the point she readied herself to be impaled by his colossal insistence, but it didn’t come. His kiss lost some of the hunger, and he kissed his way down to her chest. His mouth on her nipple made her eyes roll back, and the wave crashed to the shore when his hand moved down her belly to the slush between her thighs. One finger slid inside and she hissed at the unexpected invasion except the knuckle of his thumb pressed up against her clit and her whole body bucked up toward his. A second finger joined the first and of their own volition her legs moved higher coiling themself around his waist trying desperately to bring him down into her.