Punctured, Bruised, and Barely Tattooed

by Jamison, Jade C.

  No, a lot of privacy unless the dog came bounding up the stairs.

  There was no door to his bedroom. The staircase simply ended and there it was.

  She was trying to take in more details but Stone pulled her in an embrace and she forgot the rest. Her body responded, tingling all over. She was ready. One niggling thought in the back of her mind was that she couldn’t believe this moment was finally happening. She’d wanted Stone for so long, and here they were now—together, getting ready to join for the first time.

  Not the last, she hoped.

  He kissed her neck and she let all the air out of her lungs as a new shiver traveled up her spine. He didn’t stop there, though. His fingers were already undoing the buttons on the filmy shirt while his lips moved down past her collarbone. He kissed her cleavage as his fingers continued their journey down. She let out a gasp and grabbed fistfuls of his hair, so glad it was long and she had something to hold onto. She needed something to grab hold of because she was feeling desperate…out of control, a feeling she’d tried to avoid in her adult life.

  It was happening now, though, and it wasn’t completely terrifying. She just had to give herself over to Stone—and find a way to trust him.

  The flimsy blouse was off her shoulders, held on only by the crooks in her elbows and the fact that she wasn’t willing to let go of Stone’s hair—not yet, anyway. He wasn’t waiting for her, though. He was pulling up on her tank top from the bottom, his lips on her belly, and she realized he was almost on his knees. He was moving so goddamned fast, and physically she could keep up. Mentally, though, she was blown away, gone, and just trying to tread water. She was flooded with emotion, including some weird fight-or-flight sensation in the pit of her gut. Yeah, too many emotions—not just base desire, but a feeling of connectedness, anticipation, joy…and fucking fear. Yes, fear, and she had no idea where it was coming from, but it threatened to overwhelm all else.

  She tried to focus on the sensations her body was sending her—everything that was purely and only physical. She needed to ground herself somehow, because the back of her mind felt like a tiny rabbit ready to bolt. Her skin was super-sensitive, and she loved the feeling of Stone’s iron hands—one on her hip, the other touching the center of her chest at her cleavage. His soft lips were kissing her belly just below his hand until he started tracing the skin with his tongue, and she let out a moan. Yeah, the physical stuff was hard to beat. He let go of her tank top, sliding that hand underneath and touching her breast. She’d debated earlier that evening about whether she wanted to wear a bra or not and had opted against it. Now, she was glad she’d made that decision, because she wanted him to touch her. She sucked in another breath of air as her nipple hardened under his fingers. As he pushed the tank top up, he kissed his way up the curve of her small breast, replacing his fingers with his tongue until he drew her nipple into his mouth.

  Too fast again. She felt Stone’s other hand move from her hip to the front of her jeans where he wrestled with the button until it popped loose. Her breathing was shallow now, and she felt like she couldn’t pull the air into her lungs quickly enough. Fortunately, he shifted gears, standing up and pulling her close again, kissing her on the lips. He lifted her up then and she spread her legs around his body to help. He brought her to the bed and let her go until her feet touched the floor again.

  She needed to regain a sense of security, of awareness, and she thought maybe turning the tables a bit would help. She grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and began pulling it up. His eyes were focused on hers, drilling holes into her head with their focus. She didn’t mind being the object of his desire, but he was intense. She felt like she couldn’t catch her breath. Stone grabbed the shirt and pulled it over his head and then immediately got to work on hers. Her button-down shirt had already dropped to the floor but her tank still clung to her frame. He pulled it over her head while she raised her arms, but her eyes shifted their focus.

  Oh, God, the man was beautiful. His chest was covered in ink from neck to navel. There were only a couple of spots where his skin showed through. The rest, though, was proudly tattooed. Some tats were words and others were pictures. A lot of them, though, were connecting designs in between the individual tattoos to give them a sense of harmony and belonging, almost like quilting—artistry meant to unify each individual piece to make them part of a whole. She could barely even appreciate the definition in the muscles or the pierced nipple, because she was busy taking in the canvas he wore. And the colors…God, the colors.

  Her breathing was still shallow, and she was surprised she hadn’t grown lightheaded. He touched the bottom of her chin with his finger and she brushed his chest with both her hands then, not feeling self-conscious that she was half-naked in front of him for the first time. “You’re amazing,” she breathed.

  He brought her eyes up to his as she responded to his touch and tilted her head. “Not even close to you.” He kissed her again, intense, deep, and hot, and she felt her nipples brush against his body, stimulated again just from his body heat and what little amount of friction their kiss had caused. He pulled her close and then lay her down on the bed, on that over-plump comforter, and then his fingers resumed their previous course of action, pulling the zipper of her jeans down.

  His lips left hers once more, again making a trail away from her face and down her body. He paused at her breasts once more, tonguing a nipple until she groaned, almost a wordless plea, but what she needed, she didn’t know. She only knew she had to trust him with her body.

  He definitely knew what to do. When his lips got to her bellybutton, his hands gripped the sides of her jeans, pulling them down over her hips. She hadn’t noticed at first, but he’d managed to grab hold of her panties at the same time, and they were both sliding down her thighs with little effort. He got off the bed, pulling the jeans the rest of the way down, and her little sandals fell off her feet before the jeans were completely off her body.

  She waited for him to rejoin her but then she felt him slide his hands under her ass. She lifted her upper body off the bed to see that he was on his knees at the foot of the bed, and he pulled her closer to him. Pulled her pussy closer to him. She felt warmth and wetness between her legs then, a direct response to the way his dark eyes were focused on her. He looked up, his eyes meeting hers, and he seemed to be telling her she was his and he was going to own her with this very act. She was okay with that, but…

  The way he brushed her thighs as he pulled his hands out from under her butt sent a shiver through her body, and he lifted her legs so that her knees were up and over his shoulders, and he homed in on the area between her legs. She felt his breath, sensed his warmth and strength. She felt desire coursing through her veins…followed by a rush of fear. Intense fear. What the fuck was going on?

  She felt his tongue stroke her clit. Oh, God, yes, that was incredible, she thought as she sucked in a quick breath. Her body quivered at the soft touch of his tongue and her muscles tightened at his attention. But another lightning bolt of fright jolted her. She could feel adrenaline fucking with her, making her tingle all over, causing the little hairs on her arms to stand at attention and all her nerves were on heightened alert, waiting for something horrible to happen.

  Another stroke. Nothing bad at all and crazy good.

  But more anxiety and she was breathing rapidly, like she’d just run a mile in a minute.

  What the fuck?

  Every stroke brought more fear, and even though it felt good, it increased her sense that something bad was going to happen a thousand fold.

  Her mind shifted then, concentrating on that overwhelming emotion. Her heart was beating like a double bass drum beat in her chest, and it felt like she was going into cardiac arrest. She noticed that her hands were gripping the comforter into her fists, and her knuckles ached. She was breathing hard—not with desire but with fear. She was covered in cool perspiration as she waited for something bad, something horrible…

  something unspoke
n

  …and the fear gripped her in its vice. She couldn’t let it go. Every time he touched her with his tongue, it got worse, and she was nearly paralyzed. She was almost ready to jump off the bed and run down the stairs and out of his house, nudity be damned. But she owed him more than that. “Stone.” He paused but didn’t move his head. “Stone, stop. Please stop.”

  Oh, fucking hell. She realized she was on the verge of tears. Where the fuck had that come from?

  “What’s wrong?”

  One tear dropped. What the fuck? She was not the crying kind. She’d been through too much, seen too much to let her emotions control her like that and yet…they were. She could feel it then—a dam inside ready to burst, on the verge of spilling over, and his question only weakened it. “I don’t know.” The words came out—forced—and she could barely hear them. That was when the tears began to flow, gush, stream out of her eyes like a downpour. She was sobbing like a baby by the time he was on the bed beside her.

  “Talk to me, Kory.”

  But she couldn’t. She cried aloud, unsure of what was happening, until she saw Art’s face in her mind, and then it all came fucking clear as day.

  Chapter Eleven

  KORY KNEW IT was going to sound irrational, but she had to push through the bullshit, the pain, the stupidity. “Please, Stone, make love to me.”

  “But—”

  “I know it’s weird, but please. I need you now.”

  She knew he could see the need, the desperation in her eyes, and he kissed her. Ah, yes, that was what she required. She needed Stone to overwrite her faulty memories with good ones. She craved something to cover up all the pain and ache and misery in her head, and she needed it now. Yeah, she could stand more therapy, but she couldn’t call up her old psychologist tonight…and, even if she did, she’d probably be able to kiss Stone goodbye with her little psycho act. No, she had to push through it and experience something beautiful with him.

  It was the only way.

  He still needed convincing. Even though he was kissing her, he was almost at a standstill, so she caressed the front of his jeans. She knew he had to have been hard earlier, so it shouldn’t take much to get him back there. She massaged the bulge she found and he responded, not only with an erection but with a groan against her mouth. Oh, yes, that was it.

  He was having a hard time maintaining then, but he pulled away from her and said, “How can you be so sure this is what you want?”

  Why was he being so difficult to persuade? She brought her other hand down to the button on his pants and undid it, working on the zipper right after. She growled. “I need you to fuck me, Stone, more than I’ve ever needed anything in my life.” She searched his eyes. “Please,” she begged.

  He acted like he was going to say something, but she worked her hands inside his jeans and grabbed his cock. He responded by consuming her mouth with his. She spread her legs around him, trying to force him inside her. “Wait,” he said, reaching behind him. She could see the look in his eyes, the one that told her he was beginning to feel as frantic as she did, but he was managing to keep it together. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and threw it on the comforter where it got swallowed up, but he steadied himself and opened the wallet, pulling a condom out. In seconds, he had it out and sat up on his knees to roll it over his erection. Kory sat up, wanting to help him, to hurry him, because she felt like her life depended on him now…on this.

  The condom on, he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her face up close to his. He touched her forehead with his and asked, one last time, “You sure about this?”

  “Fuck, yes.”

  With an unexpected gentleness, he lay her back on the bed and kissed her—softly, sweetly. She melted into the bed and then he entered her and she cried out. Somehow, she’d managed to push the violent, nasty images out of her head and her tears had dried as she’d pleaded with Stone to take her. Those horrible thoughts still lingered, but with each thrust, she was able to push them back further, further, until they were distant. Then she was able to focus on the feel of Stone’s hard shoulders as she held onto them for dear life. She managed to loosen her grip and let her hands skim his back, feeling down to his ass. God, he was hard all over, and she wondered how many tattoos her hands had touched on their journey down his back.

  Somehow, she felt a stirring in her loins once more, something she hadn’t expected since breaking down. She tilted her pelvis, needing to feel him at a different angle and she gasped. “Oh, God,” she said, amazed at how he was managing to clear her mind, restore peace to her shattered psyche with such a primal act.

  But he was.

  “Feel okay?” he asked.

  Oh, why was he unsure? He should know, right? Couldn’t he tell that he was exactly what she needed? “You’re perfect,” she whispered, hoping it was enough to assure him, and then her thigh muscles contracted, signaling to her how close she was. She gulped down a few breaths as far as she could until she hit that impossible peak and cried out, her thighs pulsating against his hips.

  He moaned against her neck, continuing to drive into her until there was nothing left to give, and then they collapsed in each other’s arms, having experienced some sort of miracle.

  * * *

  She had no idea how long they lay in each other’s arms, but she hadn’t been able to sleep. Stone had been barely able to stir after, but he’d had the presence of mind to pull back the comforter and urge her underneath it where she’d curled up beside him. He’d pushed a button on a remote control next to the lamp on the nightstand and dimmed the lights in the room before closing his eyes.

  Minutes earlier, his little dog had come into the bedroom, apparently tired of waiting for Stone to fulfill his promise to her. She’d put her paws on the side of the bed and looked up at them, and Kory reached over and patted the soft dog on the head. She saw the sweet little thing, now satisfied that she’d been acknowledged, curl up in a dog bed next to the dresser. Stone mumbled and rolled on his side toward Kory, pulling her closer, and she rolled over as well so her back was up against his chest.

  She didn’t know that she’d ever felt this safe or loved in her life, and she felt that way now in spite of all the tumultuous shit rolling around in her head, shit that she thought she’d let go of years ago, but no. It was there and it was heavy. It was undeniable.

  And Kory wondered how the fuck she was going to deal with it.

  For now, though, she wanted to enjoy this fresh new sensation for just a few minutes. In a while, she was going to have to ask Stone to give her a ride home so she could get to class in the morning. But he felt so warm, so firm, so caring that she didn’t want it to end, even though she knew it must.

  Stone managed to wake himself up a few minutes later, because he asked, “Are you okay?”

  She didn’t know that she was ready to talk about it. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  Kory could feel him stretch behind her and he stroked her hair with his hand, pulling it away from her face and back. She could feel his face hovering over hers, so she half closed her eyes, hoping he’d think she was drifting asleep. “Then tell me what was going on earlier. It’s not that I don’t want to believe you, but you didn’t sound fine.”

  She drew in a deep breath, able to tell that he wasn’t going to let it rest without some sort of explanation. But how? She wasn’t quite sure how to tell him what was rolling around in that fucked-up head of hers. She sighed again and rolled over onto her back so she could look him in the eyes. “I, uh…something happened to me when I was a kid and…for some stupid reason, it all flashed in front of my eyes.”

  He looked confused. “Because I was going down on you?”

  “Yeah…no. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. It’s not your fault, and I’m sorry that happened.”

  His voice grew gentler then, as if he could see inside her soul. “Why are you sorry, Kory? You shouldn’t be sorry for something that obviously traumatized you.” She blinked,
not sure what to say. He lifted his hand then and brought it to her face. Then he touched one eyebrow piercing and another, followed by the nose ring and one snake bite and the other and then he moved to her ear, where he ran his finger down the curve, touching one earring after another. “I think I get this now. I think…these represent scars, don’t they? Each hole stands for some kind of pain you’ve felt.”

  She shook her head slightly. No, he didn’t get it, and how could she explain to him that a lot of her piercings were merely a way for her to get to know him. But then she saw that he was partially right, because if she hadn’t avoided the tattoo gun for so long, she would have made that her reason to visit him. The fact that she could be punctured over and over and over again…well, that was because she’d felt like she wasn’t worthy of…something. What, she didn’t know, but she felt like she’d been used and abused and no one would want her.

  And yet she hadn’t known that till right this second.

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “So tell me what the hell’s going on, Kory.” His eyes were intense. “Let me in. I won’t hurt you.”

  Oh, she’d heard that before. She trusted Stone, yes, but she didn’t feel ready. Somehow, the girl who’d felt like she was a complete and total bad ass now felt very fragile. Afraid. Unsure of the future. Did he fit in it somehow? Oh, God, she hoped so.

  “I don’t know that I’m ready to tell you…all of it. I—don’t think I can. Not yet.”