The Wrath of the Chosen

by K. C. Hamby

  Mom stands, pulling me up with her, and hugs me again. The dream changes into a memory. At least, I think it’s a memory. It seems familiar. I pull away from her and realize we are at the clearing in the woods behind the Complex. I look up at her confused.

  “Alright, now. I want you two to practice shifting.” Mom encourages both me and Ash who has somehow just appeared beside me.

  Oh, shifting is my favorite! I’m almost better than Ash. But, he’s always a step ahead of me in training. But one day, I know I’ll be better than him!

  I close my eyes and reach inward for my wolf. She’s waiting patiently for me like she knew I was coming back. I smile to myself. I love her so much. Pulling out my wolf, my body begins to change. My bones crack and I want to scream, but I have to shift! Mom says the pain goes away the more I shift. It’s already hurting less than the first time.

  My nose lengthens, making it seem like my face is being ripped in two. I whimper only a little at the pain. I don’t want to be weak in front of Ash or Mom. I have to be the best.

  Finally, my paws hit the ground. I look over to Ash and he’s giving me a wolfy smirk having already shifted. He is so big. But I’m faster. I glance down at his white fur covered paws and snort. Socks.

  Suddenly, I’m tackled to the ground by a large, furry jerk. We roll in the grass until he pins me to the ground, licking my face in victory. Ash is such a showoff. A growl rumbles deep in my chest and Ash’s ears pin to his head.

  Yeah, that’s what I thought, meanie.

  “Falen. Ash. Stop tackling each other and come over here,” Mom’s singsong voice rings out. Ash jumps off me and I roll into a sitting position. I look down at my raven black fur covered in dirt and huff. We haven’t even been out here ten minutes and Ash has already gotten me dirty.

  I push myself off my haunches and trot over to Mom. She’s gazing at me with pride. I yip in excitement.

  “Well done, Falen. That was a lot faster than last time.” Ash snorts and she pans her attention to him. “And of course, you did amazing as well. You always do.”

  Ash puffs his chest out and throws me a grin, tongue out and everything. I shake, making the dirt fly in the air and land on his black fur. Ash steps back, offended I would try to get him dirty. Mom laughs.

  “Alright, now. I want you both to practice offensive attacks. On each other.” Mom grins deviously. My eyes dilate and I turn to Ash. I brace all four of my legs under me and ready myself for a pounce.

  “Wait,” Mom whispers and I stand up, glaring at her. I was about to catch Ash off guard.

  Mom’s eyes are wide and she’s looking around the clearing. Rustling leaves register in my ears, making them twitch. Ash sniffs the air and growls. I glance at him to see what the fuss is about and his fur is standing up on the back of his neck.

  Uh oh.

  “Ash. Falen. Run to the woods and do not stop until you get to the Complex. Understand?” Mom whispers harshly. My skin breaks into a cold sweat, making my fur sticky. What’s going on? “Ash, take care of your sister. I love you both. Go, now!” My heart races. I look to Ash. He nods his head at me and runs in the opposite direction of the rustling leaves.

  I whine and fix my eyes on Mom.

  “Falen, go! That is not a suggestion!”

  I hesitate and lick Mom’s face once. I turn into a full-on run after Ash. I fly across the clearing, the tall grass tickling my belly the whole way. I hear a loud snarl, followed by a warning bark. I glance back and see Mom has shifted. She stands tall and mighty in her black coat, a little white tear drop patch sitting in the middle of her chest. Her hair is standing on end and she’s facing something I can’t see.

  I reach the treeline where Ash is waiting for me and stop. I turn around, watching Mom. Ash whines at me, nuzzling my side with his nose, but I refuse to move. I want to know what’s going on.

  A growl escapes my mouth and my lips pull back to reveal my sharp teeth. I see what Mom is snarling at. Humans, but not just any humans.

  Poachers. There are at least twenty of them.

  I have to help her!

  I step in her direction, but Ash wraps his teeth around my back leg. I yelp and snarl at him, but he won’t let go. I shake and shake my leg, but his grip just gets tighter in warning. I turn back to Mom and whine again. They’re surrounding her.

  She lunges at one and grabs his shoulder. She yanks hard and he rips in two, blood covering the grass and Mom’s fur. I pull my leg again, but Ash’s teeth dig in, trapping me here.

  The others run toward her. She slashes with her claws, bites down on legs, and pounces on top of one, grabs his head in her mouth, and rips.

  I yip in excitement. Mom is taking them all out.

  It’s not enough. The remaining Poachers attack her, jabbing at her sides with knives. I snarl and try to pull again to no avail. Mom loses her balance and falls to her side. She tries so hard to pull herself up.

  Get up, Mom! Fight them!

  She struggles to make it to her feet. One of the Poachers pushes her over and stabs at her shoulder, making her howl in pain. I whine in response.

  A red-haired Poacher looks straight at us from all the way across the clearing. He’s so familiar. Who is he?

  He sneers at us and walks over to Mom’s head. Her chest is heaving and she’s staring directly at us. She’s having trouble breathing. Ash drops my leg and whines. I’m too shocked to move. I need to help her, but I can’t move my damn feet to do it.

  The identification of the red head hits me like an Ash tackle.

  This isn’t right. Why is he here? Why is he in my memory?

  This isn’t some sick nightmare. This is what happened to Mom, but Damien isn’t supposed to be here.

  I snarl in his direction, knowing what’s supposed to happen next. I won’t watch in fear like I did when I was younger. I’m not going to let Mom die because I was too weak to intervene again. I’m going to stop this. She will not die because of me again.

  I bolt in Mom’s direction before Ash can think to stop me. His heavy paws pound the ground behind me, fear and anger pushing him to chase me.

  I’m running as fast as I can, but I’m going in slow motion. My legs grow heavy and I slow down, trying to drag them along.

  Damien yanks out his knife and holds it over the back of Mom’s head. I’m so close. Just a little farther.

  But, I can’t get there. Damien glares at me while he shoves the knife where Mom’s vertebrae meet her head, killing her instantly. The light leaves her eyes as they turn cloudy.

  I trip over my own sorrow and roll in the tall grass. Ash stops behind me and stands over my body, growling at the Poachers.

  A howl rips from my throat in pain. She’s not moving. She’s not breathing.

  Mom. She’s gone. I can’t experience this again.

  Ash throws his head back in a sorrowful howl, harmonizing with mine. Our sad song rings out across the clearing. Damien breaks into a run, coming straight at us. Ash kicks off the ground and sprints in his direction. I push myself up and after him, wanting Damien’s head in my jaws.

  Ash lunges, but Damien gets under him and plunges his knife into Ash’s throat. His big body flops to the ground with a soft whine. I throw myself at Damien hard, knocking him to the ground. He pushes me and I fall to my back, watching as all the remaining Poachers close in for the kill.

  “Fal! Goddess, wake up!” I jolt awake and open my eyes to Ash standing over me and shaking my shoulders.

  I’m covered in sweat and tears stream down my face. My breathing comes in hard, short breaths and I can’t stop. I can hardly breathe at all.

  “Fal, breathe. Calm down,” Ash coaxes and helps me sit up in bed. He squats in front of me and looks me over. “What happened?”

  “Mom,” rips from my charred throat. Ash freezes. “I couldn’t save her, Ash.” I choke on a sob. “I couldn’t save her.” I can’t control the sobs crashing over me. He pulls me to his chest and I go willingly. I sob into his shirt harder than I ev
er have. My body shakes and Ash is quivering. He’s crying too.

  I don’t care how weak I seem. I miss Mom so much and I need my brother. I’ve never experienced so much pain. Physical pain can’t even compare to the throbbing raging in my chest with every beat of my heart. It’s unbearable.

  Ash lies down on the bed beside me and holds me while we both cry for Mom.

  “Fal, no.” He chokes on his own pain. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s never been your fault.” I want to hit him over and over again, yelling that he just doesn’t understand. He can’t understand.

  Instead, my body goes slack with exhaustion and silent tears stream down my cheeks onto Ash’s shirt. My eyelids flutter, wanting to close and pull me away from this pain.

  I don’t remember falling asleep.

  ***

  I peel open my swollen eyes around 10:00 A.M. the next day. Ash is nowhere in sight, but luckily, I didn’t have any more nightmares. I glance at the nightstand and find a glass of water along with some aspirin I desperately need. I sit up, take the pills, and chug the water.

  I replay what happened last night and cringe at the hollowness in my chest. Nina. Why the hell was I so stupid? I knew I should have stayed away from the beginning. I almost kissed her for fucksakes. What if I didn’t stop the kiss? What would have happened then?

  No! What the hell? I have to stop thinking about this.

  “Ugh!” I flip over and plant my face into the pillow. If I smother myself, I definitely won’t be thinking about it anymore.

  The rap rap rap of knocking at the door bangs against my head. I hear it slowly creaking open and I look up from my possible deathbed at the door. Ash.

  “Uh, is this a bad time?” An eyebrow is raised at my current position.

  “No.” I sigh and flip myself over and sit up. He pads in and sits on the edge of the bed.

  “Invidia left. She figured we needed to talk.” I shyly glance at Ash and cringe at the concern painted on his face.

  “Ash…” I start but he stops me by holding up his hand.

  “You have to be careful,” he says quietly and I’m flooded with confusion. I blink in shock.

  “What do you mean, exactly?”

  “I saw what happened at the club last night.” He clasps his hands together and leans on his knees. “And I saw you leave with that girl. I’m assuming you went to her place because Invidia noticed you didn’t have on makeup when we picked you up. Apparently, you need industrial cleaner to get it off.” He chuckles to himself and gazes at me. Fire races up my body and my heart shrinks a little.

  “I don’t know what to say.” I can’t lie to him.

  “Just listen.” He glares down at his hands. “I’ve noticed a change in you. Last night confirmed my suspicions.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask again, even though he told me to listen. I duck my head when he gives me a shut-the-hell-up look.

  “You only cried once for Mom and that was when we were alone right after it happened. You shut yourself off after that. You even shut down your wolf and vowed never to shift again. Now, your emotions are flying back to you faster than you can process them. I saw your wolf in your eyes the other night. It has to be because you have feelings for that girl.” He casts his warm eyes at me with raised brows. I hang my head.

  It’s true. Everything he’s saying is true. I was fine until I met Nina. I was cold and ruthless. I had no other emotion than rage. When I met Nina, it’s like everything I ever rejected—including my wolf—pushed its way back in. And now, I’m an emotional wreck, wanting someone I can’t ever have. Ash is supposed to turn me in for breaking Assassin Law.

  There’s a tug on my chin. Ash lifts my face up, forcing me to look at him.

  “Why are you ashamed?”

  “I’m breaking Assassin Law, Ash.” I whine with so much sadness in my voice I almost don’t believe it’s mine.

  “What if she’s your Mate?”

  I gasp. And then scoff.

  “You don’t actually believe in that bullshit, do you?” I glare at him skeptically. A Mate. He has to be joking. It’s a myth. A stupid myth.

  A long time ago, Lupi had soulmates, or so I’m told. Once they were found, no other would ever compare because they are literally made for each other, blah blah blah. They were considered to be the other half of someone’s soul, both literally and figuratively; they heal the empty parts of the soul we were born with and they were born to fill. It’s said that Hecate did this to combat the darkness each of us have inside; like a gift for serving her or some shit like that. We were made to protect them and they were made to keep us whole and vice versa. Apparently, we would descend into madness if we found them, but didn’t stay with them because the darkness would take over. I call bullshit. Those stories were all about finding a Lupi soulmate. Nina is a human.

  “Why wouldn’t I believe that there’s someone out there that makes me whole and at peace?” Ash asks and my heart skips a beat at his words. “There aren’t many good things about what we do. I need some kind of hope to hang on to.” So, he doesn’t think Invidia is his Mate. That’s awkward.

  I think about how calm Nina makes me feel. Could she be my Mate?

  No. What the hell am I thinking? I don’t believe in that. I stare at Ash with doubt.

  “Even if she were—which, she’s not—I would be putting her in a lot of danger. I don’t know if I can do that to her. Poachers would target her. You know Lupi don’t recognize the claim of Mates anymore, anyway. I would still be breaking Assassin Law and they would say I’m insane for claiming a myth is real.” He shakes his head at me.

  “You have to let her decide what she wants to do with her life. If she is your Mate, you’re taking her choice away. If you stay away from her, you’re taking away her Mate as well. Are you really ready to be that selfish?”

  “Protecting her isn’t selfish!” The yell blurts from my mouth too quickly. He blinks at me calmly and I take a breath. “Sorry.”

  “You obviously need to do some thinking.” He kindly smiles. “If she’s able to crack you, she must be special.” He taps my knee and pushes himself off the bed. He goes to walk out of the room and abruptly turns around. “Shit, I almost forgot.” He reaches into his pocket. After digging for a second, he pulls out a glimmering silver chain and holds it out to me. I cup my hands together, allowing him to put the object in my hands. I look at it and gasp.

  “Is this…”

  “Yeah, she would have wanted you to have it. I’ve been waiting for the right time to give it to you,” Ash admits and runs his fingers through his hair.

  I hold it up. It’s a silver necklace with a crescent moon charm about the size of a quarter hanging from it. It was Mom’s. I don’t think I ever saw her without it around her neck. I quickly clasp it around mine like it may vanish any moment. It dangles perfectly at the base of my throat.

  “Thank you,” I murmur. He nods and heads out the door.

  “Oh, I’m not going to turn you in, you idiot. I’ll talk to Invidia and give her some crap story about what happened.” He winks at me and leaves me to my thoughts. The corner of my mouth tilts up in a smile as I run my fingers over the necklace.

  The truth is, I’ve already made my decision. I’m staying away from Nina. It’s the only way I can protect myself and, most importantly, her.

  I hope one day she can see it this way too.

  Chapter 20

  A month after the incident with Nina, I still hadn’t seen her. I kept my head down; only going on missions, hanging with Ash and Invidia, and training Nathan. That’s it. Nathan has been the only bright parts of my days. Even Ash couldn’t make me laugh anymore. I just didn’t have the life left inside me to even pretend to smile. I stopped going to see Ash less and less because I always felt like I was an emotional burden. He would spend the entire time we were together trying to cheer me up and failing miserably. I hated seeing the sadness in his eyes too. I couldn’t bear someone else being sad because of me. I began ignorin
g his calls and avoided him at all costs. I couldn’t deal with him and Invidia acting all in love in front of me. My jealousy would rage and I’d act like a complete asshole to Invidia and she never did anything wrong.

  I couldn’t stop thinking about Nina no matter how hard I tried. I distracted myself with missions and training with Nathan, but that only lasted so long. She would follow me in my dreams, constantly asking why I left her and how I could put her through so much pain. She would sob at my feet and refuse to stand and look at me until I came to her; until I told her I was sorry. I put off going to sleep because I couldn’t handle seeing her cry, even if it was just in my head.

  I avoid mirrors now. I look like I’m knocking on death’s door. My skin is getting paler by the day and my hair has lost its luster. Thick, dark circles are painted under my eyes from lack of sleep. My eyes are flat, devoid of their previous brightness. I look horrible.

  It’s been nine months and I think I may be going insane. The only shred of humanity I have left is used on Nathan and even then, I’m toeing the line between kind of crazy and complete insanity. I crave missions. I crave spilling the blood of people worse than I am. It makes me feel like I’m not a complete monster. Deep in the back of my mind, I know I am. People who aren’t monsters don’t crave murder. They don’t find pleasure in spilling blood like I do. They don’t need to kill to keep going.

  I’m nearly unapproachable. The only people can talk to me at all without having me snap on them are Nathan and Cosma and, sometimes, I can’t help myself with her. I’m defiant and rude. I hate when she tries to use her Alpha power on me. I’ve even snarled at her a few times. I don’t know how I’m alive right now with how I’m acting toward her, but somehow, she hasn’t ordered a hit on me. Yet.

  I walk around like I’m the living dead. It’s as if I have a constant fog covering my brain and I don’t know how to make it through because I can’t see three feet in front of my face. I can’t focus on anything but my kills and even those have gotten sloppy and horrifying. I’m a step short of being a torturer. I have actually taken hours to kill one of my targets. And I enjoyed every second of it.