"Only because he watched her like a hawk," pointed out Curlers, smiling again. "She’s a very pretty girl. All the men in the neighborhood drooled over her."
"Poor children," said Hairpins sadly.
"That’s another thing," Curlers continued. "Keren's husband is now demanding a paternity test on each child before he’ll agree to pay child support!"
"That’s disgusting." Ruthie was now very distracted from her hair cutting, and I was afraid my turn would never come. "He raised those kids… The eldest boy looks exactly like him."
"And what about Rammy?" I was interested in the fate of the male side of the love triangle. "Did his wife leave him?"
"That’s the most amazing part of the story," Curlers answered conspiratorially. "Keren’s husband told Shirley all about it. She’s decided to stay with Rammy!"
"What?!?!" Ruth and Hairpins were shocked. I was a little less shocked.
"Yeah... Rammy swore to Shirley that it was a one-off and that Keren had seduced him."
"Wow... that's disgusting."
"I bet you it wasn’t his first time, nor the last," Ruthie added.
"I think so too," said Curlers. "He seems like such a flirt. I'm sure Keren was neither the first nor the last."
I couldn’t listen to this conversation. I was annoyed. The double standard was driving me crazy. The adulteress was dumped and humiliated while the adulterer was forgiven and his adultery forgotten. According to the story I’d just heard, I had a feeling that Keren lived with a violent man if he could curse and question his children’s paternity. I wasn’t surprised that she’d sought and found solace in the arms and bed of another man. On the other hand, Rammy was probably a serial cheater. Why was it easier to forgive an unfaithful man than an unfaithful woman? Rammy was an unreliable type, and Keren was just looking for solace. Rammy was forgiven, but Keren was thrown away.
If this story was perfect, Rammy would leave his wife for Keren. But life was far from perfect.
I got up and went outside. I wanted to get some fresh air and get away from the gossiping. Ruthie stopped me at the door. "Honey, I'm almost done. Don’t worry."
"It's okay," I said, smiling. "I'm not running away, just going out to make a phone call."
I sat on a bench in front of the salon and watched the three women in the hairdresser’s. It seemed that the conversation about Rammy and Keren had them all fired up. I couldn’t hear them anymore, but they had a variety of shocked and amused expressions on their faces and waved their hands about animatedly during the conversation.
I wondered what they would have said about me. I didn’t even have a violent husband. I was just a bored wife.
Would Itay hire a private investigator? Would he ask for a paternity test for Shira and Yarden? I was sure he wouldn’t. Would he want a divorce if he found out about my betrayal? I assumed he would. Who would want to live with an unfaithful wife? Would Eric agree to take me? Would he leave his wife for me? He said he’d already considered it before. But the fact remained: he hadn’t left Marina. And he had, as he said, a love story that had ended because he refused to leave his wife.
But why did I even think someone would find out? Keren's husband was a suspicious and possessive man. Itay didn't suspect anything. I had no doubt about that.
Itay… so innocent, so different from Keren’s husband. Did he deserve to be betrayed like that by me?
I sat for a few minutes, staring at my cellphone, having trouble deciding whether or not to call Eric. If it hadn’t been for Ahuva’s husband being injured, Eric and I would have already consummated our love the day before. I was reminded again how it had annoyed me that Itay wasn’t available when Jacob was injured and Ahuva needed us.
I had to be sure whether I was interested in Eric or not. I’d waited for him for so many years. I’ll only know if I try, I thought.
I dialed.
"Sharony," Eric answered after one ring only. He had been waiting for my call.
"What's up?"
"Okay. How's your nanny’s husband?"
"Thank goodness, he’s okay."
"Good..."
Ruthie motioned to me from the hairdresser shop that she was ready for me now. I motioned to her that I'd be right there. I realized I'd have to get straight to the point.
"I'm sorry I had to interrupt our meeting yesterday."
"It's okay."
"You want to reschedule?" I asked.
I heard his sigh of relief over the line. He was afraid I’d gotten cold feet. "More than anything else in the world," he replied.
"Does tonight work for you?"
"Yes. Write down this address."
"Just a minute, I’ll get a pen and paper," I said and started to rummage through my bag. While I was looking, my hand stumbled upon the box containing the ring that Manny had given me. I opened the box and looked at the beautiful ring. I took it out and put it on my finger.
Manny. My love. I hadn’t longed for him for fifteen years as I had for Eric. But I had no doubts about him. I had nothing that needed checking. I knew I loved him. I knew he was the perfect partner for me. It was just that he wanted me for himself.
If Itay ever left me for whatever reason, I had no doubt that Manny would take me in with open arms.
"Sharon?" I heard Eric's voice calling me.
"I'm with you," I said and came back to reality.
I wrote down the address and went back into the salon.
"Wow," Ruthie said as she helped me into a robe, "what an incredible ring!" I’d forgotten to take it off. "I don’t remember you wearing it before."
"True," I replied, rushing to take it off and put it back in the box. "It’s a gift for someone from the staff at work. I couldn’t resist trying it on."
"Sounds like it’s fun working at your place," said Curlers to me with a smile. She went back to reading a magazine once she realized I wouldn’t be gossiping.
CHAPTER 21
That evening, I went to the address that Eric gave me.
Until the last moment, I didn’t know if I'd go up to the apartment or not.
Going up to the apartment was a one-way street for me. I wouldn’t be able to return to Manny after this. How could I? An affair with Eric would be more of a betrayal to Manny than to Itay. In my heart, Manny was my partner.
An affair with Eric could be the affair I had dreamed of. He was the man of my dreams, who didn't want to leave his home either. A long-term affair. But was I built for this life of deceit? Could I continue to lie like this to Itay? The affair with Manny was amazing and exciting, but also exhausting. I found it so hard to lie.
The apartment was in a new building at the northern end of Hayarkon Street. Each apartment building overlooked the seafront.
A parking spot became available in front of the building as soon as I arrived. I felt it was destiny.
The door was open. The way was paved.
I stood in front of the apartment door. I closed my eyes and knocked lightly on the door, hoping that Eric wasn’t there or wouldn’t hear the knock.
He was there and he heard.
Eric opened the door, a radiant smile adorning his face.
"Hello." He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, smiling sheepishly. "Come in." He motioned for me to enter the apartment.
The apartment was stunning. Innovative and understated furnishings emphasized the amazing vista beyond the window: the Tel Aviv beach.
"Wow," I said, impressed, and went directly to the large and inviting terrace. "I always wondered who lived in these apartments."
"Mostly wealthy Jews who come here during the summer." Eric followed me and embraced me as I leaned on the railing of the balcony. He pushed my hair aside and kissed my neck. "I’ve waited for you for so many years," he whispered.
I moved away from him.
"Sorry," he said, looking sheepish. He immediately withdrew. "Maybe I’ve come on a bit strong?"
"No, it's okay," I said, giving him a smile. "I came here of my own acc
ord."
"Let's go inside." He stretched out his hand and pulled me over to the huge couch in the living room. Maybe Eric thought that it bothered me if he embraced me in public.
I sat down, and he went to fetch us some water.
"Your friends only come here in the summer?"
"Mostly." He handed me my glass of water and sat down beside me.
"And all the rest of the year, it’s your apartment?"
"Not at all; most of the time, this apartment’s rented out to tourists."
I took a sip of water. Eric looked at me as if hypnotized. My thoughts wandered. I couldn’t help thinking that I wasn’t the first girl that Eric had brought to this apartment. He had admitted that he’d betrayed his wife more than once.
"And when there's no one in residence, you come here?"
"If you’re asking if I’ve brought other girls here, the answer’s yes." Eric surprised me with his candor. "I told you about Hagit, the engineer that I had an affair with. She came here."
Eric took the glass from my hand and placed it carefully on the glass table. He approached me, holding my hand in one of his. He stroked my hair softly with his other hand.
"Sharony, I've been dreaming about this moment for years. When we practiced together at Haim’s club, I was madly in love with you, and yet I was constantly afraid. You were a minor and from a religious home. I didn’t know what to do. I told you, I almost left Marina after I saw you when we came to the club that one time. You’re not a passing fling for me. You’re the love of my life. If I hadn’t been so afraid then, everything could have been different today."
What if... we hadn’t gotten along? Maybe we would have split up and not gotten married at all. How could we know what would’ve happened? We were never a couple. Was it possible to confuse attraction with love? Did I love Eric? Should I give up on Manny for him? Would I cheat on Itay with him? Did I really want to continue cheating on Itay? I was angry with him, that's for sure, but could I continue to lie like that to my husband and my daughters?
Eric probably incorrectly interpreted the dreamy look in my eyes. He leaned over and started kissing me passionately. For fifteen years, I’d imagined and waited for this moment, and when it finally came, I felt nothing. I just sat almost motionless in front of him. He leaned over me and kissed me, all excited. He tried to excite me, but I just sat there like a mannequin .
After a few seconds, when he realized that I wasn’t responding, he pulled away.
"Sorry, Sharon."
"It's okay," I replied weakly.
"It's not okay. You’re a married woman. I shouldn’t have jumped on you like that."
"I thought that I’d like it," I confessed. "Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come here."
"And you didn’t?"
"I don’t know. Probably not."
"What happened?"
"Fifteen years."
"You didn’t think about me, ever?"
"I thought a lot about you," I replied, and he went back to stroking my hair.
"Me too, you've always been my fantasy."
"And you mine."
"Well... so what is it? You don’t understand how much I want you."
"I thought I wanted you, but now I realize that I don’t."
"Why?"
"Because I’m not available."
"I see." He smiled, but it was a wistful smile.
I smiled too, and stood up. "I want to go," I said, and I finally knew where.
PART 3
My Love Test
CHAPTER 22
For fifteen years, I had fantasized about Eric. When I finally saw him again, my fantasy could have been fully realized. Eric was still an amazingly attractive man, I wasn’t afraid to betray Itay and, above all, I found that the attraction was mutual. He wanted me, just as I had always wanted him.
An affair with Eric would have been perfect for me. We were both married with young children, and we were both looking for some excitement without having to leave home. The love and passion were already there, and if I’d met Eric five months earlier, it’s very possible that’s what would have happened.
But when I’d finally come face-to-face with my fantasy, I just wasn’t available anymore. I’d fantasized about Eric for so many years, but an affair, so comfortable and within reach with the love of my youth, seemed like such a cheap option. I didn't want to be another of Eric’s one-night stands or affairs. I wanted to be Manny’s love. I didn't want to be the adulterous woman. I wanted to be the bold woman who decided to stand up for herself and did what was best for her, who stopped chasing happiness and just grabbed it.
I finally realized that, after all this time, I wasn’t looking for just an affair, or for some excitement. Actually, I was looking for an escape from the frustrating, unhappy life I had with Itay. I realized that even if Manny hadn’t been in the picture, I couldn't continue being unhappy. I couldn't stay locked up in a relationship that was stuck in such a rut. I felt too young to feel so bitter. Life’s so short… Everyone should do what’s best for them. And what was best for me, and mademe happy, at least, at this stage of my life, was Manny. Shira and Yarden would learn to live with divorced parents, but they would have a more beautiful life because they’d have a happy mother, not an anxious and frustrated one.
It was eight o’clock in the evening. I called home and told Itay that I had a meeting with clients from abroad. One last lie… I called Manny’s cell phone, but he didn't answer. I didn't want to lose the courage I’d gained. It was now or never. I thought about stopping by the house before going to Manny’s, on the pretext of changing my clothes, just to see the girls for the last time under the current status, but decided against it. I didn't want anything to prevent me from doing what I had decided to do. I took out the box that Manny had given me in Eilat, and I put on his ring. From this moment, I’m Manny’s only.
Fifteen minutes later, I was standing in front of Manny’s house. To my surprise, the lights were on. I thought he might be at the clinic or at the hospital, and that was why he wasn't answering my calls. Maybe he didn’t want to speak to me. Perhaps his offer had expired.
I went up the small steps at the front to the house and heard the laughter of a young woman. Had I been replaced already? Perhaps I’d taken so long to make my decision that I'd missed the train… I stood there at the door for a few minutes, trying to make out what the girl was saying. She wasn’t alone; there were other people with her. Should I interrupt? I almost changed my mind and went back to the car, but, in the end, I managed to raise my hand and ring the bell. The voices went silent and, a few seconds later, a young, smiling woman opened the door.
"Hello," she said with a smile, revealing a pair of graceful dimples.
"Hello," I stammered. "Is Manny at home?”
"Daddy!" she shouted, and Manny came to the door. He looked at me, stunned, and then grinned and asked Yael to go back into the living room.
"I'll be right back," he told her. He came out and closed the door behind him.
He looked at me with a reserved smile. He raised his eyebrows as though asking a question. What are you doing here? he asked without words and I… I was choked up with tears. I just raised my hand and put it on his face. Manny stared at the ring he’d given me six weeks earlier, and then looked at me. We both had tears in our eyes.
Manny held out his hands and drew me into a loving embrace. I curled up in his embrace, and I knew I had come home. We hugged and kissed passionately, and when we came to a short pause, I said, "I'm leaving Itay. I want to be with you."
"I got that, my beauty," he said, stroking my hair. "I understood immediately."
We stood there, hugging each other and weeping for a few minutes, until we noticed the guests in the living room staring at us through the window, watching, entranced.
"I have a feeling our secret’s out," he said.
"For me, there are no more secrets," I replied.
Manny put his right arm around my shoulders and brought me into
his home. We entered, embracing and with flushed cheeks. Everyone stared at us, stunned. Manny led me to the center of the living room and began to introduce me to his guests.
"Sharon, I’d like you to meet,” we approached the girl who had answered the door," Yael, my daughter." Yael reached out her hand, and I shook it. "And this is Hadas, Yael’s life partner." I shook the hand of the girl standing next to Yael.
"Yael and Hadas are leaving tomorrow for South America on an extended trip, so we’re throwing them a small farewell party," Manny explained the purpose of the gathering to me. "And this is Yuval, my son." A tousle-haired young man rose from the couch and shook my hand. "Michal, Yuval’s girlfriend, is currently in New York."
"She’s a flight attendant," Yuval explained.
"And here are Yinon, Dvir and Alona, from Yael’s volunteer group." Three young hands were waving at me from the couch.
Six quizzical pairs of eyes stared at Manny until he smiled a satisfied smile, made a gesture with his hand and said, "This is Sharon, my girlfriend of the last four months." He’d also counted the weeks we were apart. For him, we’d never broken up.
"It’s nice to finally meet you," Yael said and smiled conspiratorially.
"What? You've already told them about me?" I looked at Manny in surprise.
"Only Yael and Yuval. They understood that something was up with me, so I told them."
So the rest of the people present likely also knew who I was, and also my marital status.
Although everyone knew pretty much what my personal situation was, as we sat together and talked, no one asked about Itay or my daughters. It was clear to everyone that this was a point not to be discussed.
In fact, we didn't talk about me at all. We were busy talking about Yael, Hadas and their trip. If I had to guess, from the moment I entered, Yael’s and Hadas’ trip was as interesting to everyone present, including Yael and Hadas, as yesterday’s news, but it was a comfortable and safe subject that we could escape to from the rather embarrassing situation that was created by my arrival.
Confession of an Abandoned Wife - Box Set (Books 1-3) Page 17
