Heaven's Touch

by Jillian Hart

  “Iced tea with lots of sugar and lemon,” Rachel announced as she handed over the cup. “The only way to drink it. Sweet and cold and tangy.”

  “I agree. Thanks, Rache.”

  “No problem. That sure is a neat gift. As you tricked him into having so much fun, he’ll forget to be afraid?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Excellent. He seemed to do okay in the pool. He’ll get his face underwater and kick, but when he gets in the river, he just wades. He doesn’t like the current tugging at him. It’s what pulled him under that one time. It’s hard to blame him.”

  “The fins will help, too. He’ll have a stronger kick, in case he does get caught in the current. Most people drown because they either don’t know what to do or panic. While I’m here, I’ll work with him.”

  “That would be so great. Would you mind if I called you sometime and we could do dinner and a movie?”

  “I’d like that.” She had work friends and her softball teammates, but the truth was, it had been a long time since she’d had a good, close friend. A best friend. The kind she knew Rachel would be. There went her heart, aching again, because she knew what was valuable in this life. What truly mattered.

  Ben. His hand settled on her shoulder, a claiming touch. A connection. One that stirred her soul. He was an amazing man. A good man. Strong and decent and caring. Brave and loyal and faithful. Like a greatest dream.

  As she watched him escort his nephew through the dappled shade, she felt her hold on her heart slip. The wide-shouldered man ambled with a limp alongside the lean, rangy boy, so alike, the wind rippling through their nearly identical hair.

  There goes the man I love, she thought, falling completely and forever in love with him.

  Again.

  The one man she couldn’t have. The one man she knew would leave her. And still she loved him. Because nothing could dim the blinding love that filled her, body and soul.

  “Cadence is incredible,” Amy pulled him aside to whisper in his ear. “I never thought we could get Westin into the deeper water, not without scaring him.”

  “Oh, he’s scared, but he’s not about to admit it.” Just like me. But I don’t want to go there, Ben thought as he hopped off the old wooden planks and into the cool water. “Heath, you’re sure you want to man the grill?”

  “I’m going to officially be part of this family in less than three weeks, so I’d best step up to the duties required of the man of the house.” Heath cracked a grin and, for a moment as he gazed at Amy and then at Westin, his love was obvious.

  I can’t help liking this guy, Ben thought grudgingly, because it was hard to trust any man with his sister. But Heath worked hard at the diner, in addition to studying for the state medical board exams. He treated Amy like a queen and West in like his own son.

  A brother couldn’t ask for more, and because these ties on his heart were too much, too intimate, too uncomfortable, he had to quip, “I’m glad you’re here to take over, Heath. That leaves me free to take off.”

  “Stop teasing!” Amy rolled onto her stomach on the beach blanket to reach for her glass of iced tea. “You’d better be here for my wedding, or I’ll have to trouble Uncle Pete to give me away. Which reminds me—you have a tux fitting this week.”

  “I didn’t agree to wear a monkey suit.” He waded against the current that tugged at his ankles.

  “You didn’t agree not to, mister.” Amy chuckled, the sound lighthearted above the gurgling rush of the river. The easy banter between them was something that had gone on for years, so why was he so troubled? Amy knew he was simply teasing her, the right of big brothers everywhere, and he did it to make her laugh.

  Maybe he was troubled because if his leg kept rebounding as it had, and his upcoming appointment with an orthopedic specialist in L.A. went well, then he’d be flying back to Hurlburt Field as soon as he could get back to light duty. Which meant, after the wedding.

  Duty. It was as simple as that, although it had never made him feel torn before. He believed what he did was important. He couldn’t live his life any other way. He didn’t know how to. But for Cadence…?

  A knot settled in his gut and tightened.

  “Way to go, Westin!” She sparkled like the sunlight, looking sleek in her suit, which she’d had on beneath her clothes. Her hair was plastered to her head and billowed out in the water around her shoulders where she waded next to Westin. She held him buoyant in the water by the back band of his swimming trunks.

  It looked as if the kid was getting the hang of it. He stretched out fully on his stomach and started paddling, facedown. The snorkel stuck up, so he could breathe easily, and the fins slapped and splashed inexpertly, but that would change with time.

  Westin popped upright, spitting out his mouthpiece, which was well attached to the goggles and nosepiece. His smile was wide and confident. “I did it! The current didn’t suck me in!”

  “The fins help. And what do you do if you do get sucked away?”

  “Swim like this.” He made a diagonal slice with his arm to the opposite bank. “Even if it’s real far away?”

  “Yep. You want to see how it works? Even a girl can do it.”

  “You can do it?”

  “Sure. You stay right here, okay?” She waited until he’d nodded and his wide eyes told her he wasn’t interested in sneaking out into the deeper water after her. Besides, Ben was striding closer to his nephew through the water, the river parting at his thighs. He nodded to her, indicating he’d look after Westin.

  Good. She tried to keep her adoration for Ben to a minimum as she flashed him a grin.

  While Westin watched, growing paler, she stretched out into an easy crawl stroke. Then she scissored as the wide river lulled her into the middle where the current twisted in on itself, moving swiftly and silently. It was strong, although the mighty river was at its laziest on this side of town. And there were no rapids and undertows that could foil even the strongest swimmers.

  When she looked over her shoulder toward shore, treading water in the mighty current, she saw Westin sneak his hand into his uncle’s. Side by side they stood watching her, but it was the man she could not look away from. The man who had her heart.

  He always had.

  He always would.

  She didn’t see the danger until it was too late. Until something clamped around her ankle, held on hard and yanked her down into the deep water.

  Chapter Twelve

  One moment Cadence had been staring directly into his soul, and the next she’d disappeared beneath the reflective surface. Too fast to have sunk on her own. A snag? A rope or some cable left by a boater?

  Whatever it was, Ben barked an order to Westin to stay put and leaped deep into the water. He swam hard, keeping his eyes pinned to the exact spot where she’d disappeared.

  Nothing.

  She didn’t surface, and his heart labored with utter terror as he tore up distance, counting the minutes. He had three minutes before oxygen began depleting in her blood. Four minutes until total brain death.

  He’d been under the most extreme and stressful conditions on earth—combat, tribal warfare, urban fighting, water rescues assisting the coast guard during hurricanes. He’d been in a helicopter that was shot down behind enemy lines. No matter the crisis, he turned cold, deadly calm. Rational. Focused.

  But this…never before had he fought so hard to stay in control of his panic.

  The river was a wide deceptive stretch that had to be a good hundred feet wide, and the currents could have her anywhere. And the water was clean, but it was glacier runoff from the Rocky Mountain front. The river had sediment and dust, just enough to impede him from getting a good quick clear visual, if she was tangled up and trapped.

  Then suddenly there was the sound of her merry laughter and the low-throated growl of a big dog’s answer.

  “Who on earth are you, fella?” she was saying, bobbing a good distance downstream. On the other side of the strongest current.


  Beside her a big black-masked dog treaded water, giving her a toothy grin.

  “Max!” Ben had never felt such an intense mix of relief and anger as he cut through the water. “What is wrong with you, you bad dog!”

  “He was just playing.” Cadence defended him as she rubbed the top of his waterlogged head. “At first I thought it was the Loch Ness monster, since I couldn’t think of anything so powerful that lived in this river. No crocodiles. No giant anacondas. I’ve never heard of a bear stealing through the water.”

  “No dog biscuits for you,” he told the rottweiler, who was more puppy than grown dog. Max was unashamed and unapologetic as he splashed over to try to lay a sloppy kiss on him. Ben gave him a gentle shove. “Back. Go. You tried to drown Cadence.”

  “He’s okay. Although you came out to save me.”

  Save her? He hadn’t realized it, but he knew now he’d die for her. He’d do anything to keep her safe. Anything to make her happy. It was a scary realization, but it was there all the same, growing stronger as Paige started scolding her dog from the faraway dock. Alex, his amazingly grown-up other nephew, waded out into the current and called his dog.

  The beast gave a bark of either warning or apology and took off with great excitement, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong at all.

  “Sorry!” Alex called, cupping his hands to throw his voice across the water. “He and I were roughhousing earlier.”

  “He’s a nice dog.” Cadence seemed to truly mean it.

  Ben still couldn’t seem to catch his breath. All he saw was images of finding her too late. Hauling her out of the water, starting mouth-to-mouth and CPR and having her lifeless in his arms.

  Images that haunted him from battle, since a lot of his combat work involved administering paramedic and lifesaving medical care in the field. He’d held a lot of dying soldiers, but to think he could have lost Cadence…his heart stopped.

  “Don’t scare me like that again,” he rasped, not caring that the water was twenty feet deep. He didn’t care if the entire family was watching. He hauled her against him, where she felt so right and familiar against his chest.

  Thank You, God. She was warm and fragile and fit against him as if God had designed them to be together. He cupped the back of her head with his hand and gave thanks to the heavens above that she was safe.

  “I was perfectly safe,” she assured him. “The dog was only playing, and he didn’t scare me. As soon as my head was underwater, I saw him and his laughing eyes and I knew he was only playing. He’s strong, though.”

  “He’s still a puppy and doesn’t have the best sense yet.” Ben rolled his eyes. “Alex got him a year ago last Christmas. Our cousin Kirby and her husband have a rott, and this is one of his puppies. I helped Alex pick him out.”

  “You only come home for Christmas?”

  “When they let me. Otherwise I’m fast roping from helicopters. Doing a night jump at high altitudes. Maybe sleeping dug into a sand dune with MREs to comfort me.”

  “You make it sound so luxurious.”

  “I miss it.” He looked away, wishing he didn’t have to think about that. How much he’d give up to get back to his squad. To do what he loved best. Except his duty was far away across an ocean and on another continent and Cadence was in his arms, more of a risk to his heart than enemy fire at close range.

  “Max!” a chorus of voices belted out, drawing Cadence’s attention away from him—and in the nick of time, before he did something foolish and final, something he couldn’t take back. He was not about to play with Cadence’s heart. Or his own. He loved her too much. He would love her forever. But what would she do if she knew that?

  Run. And who would blame her?

  “Max!” More scolds rose on the pleasant breeze, echoing across the water and in the tree canopies.

  The big dog did another shake, spraying cold river water and dog hair everywhere. Paige, apparently having enough of the rambunctious puppy, grabbed him by his collar and hauled him away from the loungers, but not roughly. When she thought no one was looking, she knelt and gave the big guy a hug. That was his Paige—gentle hearted and didn’t want anyone to know it.

  “I would love a dog like that,” Cadence was saying, swimming away from him now, the dangerous moment between them safely past.

  Thank goodness for small blessings.

  “Yeah,” he agreed about the dog, “but I’m not home enough.”

  “Me, either.”

  “C’mon, let’s swim in. Amy’s waving to us. Heath is gone. Probably starting the barbecue.”

  “I made a promise to Westin. He’s still watching.” As if she needed to get away from him, she took off for the shore where a thick growth of cottonwoods, alder and maple shaded the water and left no bank. She didn’t seem to care as she stroked silently, putting distance between them.

  Probably wise, he told himself. But he couldn’t stop the pang of regret as he headed for the opposite shore.

  It was a beautiful evening, Cadence thought, drawing to a stop at Ben’s side next to her car. She so didn’t want it to end. The barbecued meal had been delicious, Westin had had fun opening his gifts and the conversation and family banter over dessert had warmed her from the inside out.

  Now it was over.

  Larks and chickadees flitted by to hang on tree limbs or the top rails of the fence. Rachel’s horse lifted his big head to watch them, as if in hope they had something for him to eat. Deciding not, he returned to his grazing.

  As if threatening to take over entirely, the long shadows of twilight fell across the driveway and onto the newly graveled road. Overhead the big moon glowed weakly in a cloud-streaked sky and rain scented the air, although there was no sign of it overhead.

  Life was like that, too. Clear sailing, blue skies and then a sudden change in the wind. Disaster.

  And she was looking disaster in the face: Ben. It was as if she could feel his presence like the breath in her lungs. Like the beat of her own heart. How was it that he stood so tall in her view? No matter what happened in her life, or what had happened between them, he was a big, awesome man. The only one who mattered.

  As if sensing her thoughts, he turned to face her, his hands caressing in a slow sweep from her shoulder along her arms to her fingertips. Everything within her twinkled like the first stars of the night. Hesitant. Illuminating.

  I love you so much, Ben McKaslin. It was undeniable. As sweet as the summer evening. And it moved through her soul like the gentle breezes, stirring up everything within her, as if making her new.

  Hope colored her like the sunset on the clouds, bright and stunning, and impossible to ignore. What was happening to her? Why was she being carried away like this?

  Please, Lord, don’t let me make a mistake. Please don’t let me love this man, she prayed, even though it was too late.

  Ben. He smiled at her and her heart stopped. He cupped her face with his big hands, so close she could see the hazel-green threads in his dark irises and the character lines drawn into the corners of his eyes.

  “I’m still reeling from watching you go under in that river. Don’t ever do that to me again.” Tenderness and love filled those words.

  See how impossible it was to resist him? she thought. Her willpower was not enough. Nor were her lessons learned the hard way. She felt as she had in the river when Max had her by the ankle, swiftly being pulled under—no control, too little air and the sudden surprise of it.

  His lips slanted over hers, hovering for one brief moment. She trembled, feeling her heart unwillingly open a little bit more. Vulnerable, she waited, afraid of letting him into the room of her heart. Afraid not to, because she did not want to miss this chance to know love. Real love. For however how briefly it might last.

  He leaned in, closing the scant inch separating their waiting lips. The first brush of his kiss was like warmed velvet against hers. The sweetest caress. Her spirit sighed. The second brush of his kiss was not so brief, but ardent and tender
. When he released her, she stumbled, overcome.

  True love. There it was. In her heart. In her hopes. In his kiss.

  “I’m leaving Monday to see a specialist in Los Angeles.” Like the gentleman he was, he opened her car door for her.

  She was hardly aware of settling behind the wheel, looking up at him through the frame of her open window. “How long will you be gone?”

  “About a week. I’ve got some physical therapists I want to consult, too. I’m not sure how long it’ll take.” Ben shrugged, the gray knit of his T-shirt clinging to the muscled curves of his hard shoulders. “But I’ll be back in plenty of time for Amy’s wedding. I’ll see you there?”

  She nodded, when everything within her screamed at her to say no. Today had been too much. She was already impossibly in love with him. She should keep her distance, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to spend as much time with Ben as she could before he returned to active duty. If there was a possibility for more…

  No, don’t even think that. She put a halt to those thoughts. There was no way she could begin to set herself up like that. Ben had his duty. She had her teaching.

  While she could teach anywhere, especially in Florida, that didn’t mean Ben wanted to take her there. While he was an incredible man, he had been clear. He wasn’t ready to settle down. And in truth she’d had enough men walking away from her. Letting her down. This time she would let Ben go the way he needed to. And she’d do it with dignity. It was the right thing, but not the easy choice.

  “Have a safe trip,” she said. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”

  “Count on it.”

  See? He was already moving away from her. He stood with his weight evenly balanced. The red puckered scars from his injury and surgeries remained, a reminder of why he’d come home. And why he would leave.