Nowhere to Run

by Jeanne Bannon

  Silently, Lily thanked him for saving her. She’d known Gail for a long time and had never mentioned a man in her life.

  Lily and Aiden hung their coats in the small closet by the door and brushed their shoes clean on the institutional-looking mat in the entranceway. Lily felt guilty about not having her usual stash of puzzles, magazines, DVDs, and books. “No gifts this time but I think everyone will love visiting with Rex. I haven’t brought him in since summer.”

  Gail waved a hand. “All anyone here wants is to visit with you, Miss Lily. You know how much the residents love you.” Suddenly, Gail’s demeanor changed. Her smile disappeared and worry lined her face. “Before you go in though, I have to tell you something.” Her eyes darted away from Lily, then back, her lips pressing into a grim line. “Mrs. G. fell ill a few days ago. I was going to call, but thought it better to wait a while before alarming you. In case she got better.”

  Lily’s blood drained to her feet. “Is she OK? What happened?”

  “Darling, I know what she means to you, but you’ve been coming around here long enough to know how things always end in this place. It’s a sad reality, but one we’ve all got to face someday. Now, why don’t you and your handsome young man go and have your visit. No one but God knows which way the tide will turn for Mrs. G. You can visit with her in her room if you like.” She gave a halfhearted, sympathetic smile.

  Lily knew she was right, but couldn’t help be upset no one had called. Mrs. G. was like a grandmother to her.

  “Thanks, Gail,” she said stiffly, before heading down the hallway into the brightly lit common room.

  “Lily? My, my, what a nice surprise,” said Irene Scott as the ninety-two-year-old slowly made her way over. Her words alerted the others, who turned their heads one by one like meerkats on the Kalahari to spot Lily, Aiden, and Rex making their way into the room.

  The TV was loud and the lights so bright that Aiden looked dizzy. He seemed to get a kick out of how all the residents were drawn to Lily like a moth to a flame.

  “So, Lily tells us you and her are dating?” A man in a fedora and sports coat said. He sat down beside Aiden, rickety knees cracking and popping, then stared at him with no apparent regard for social conventions.

  “Leave the man alone,” an elderly lady in a red jacket said as she lowered herself to the couch on the other side of Aiden. She placed a gnarled hand on his knee and looked up at him, studying his face.

  Lily’s eyes lit up at Aiden’s squirming discomfort.

  “So, are you, honey? Dating, I mean,” the old woman asked, picking up the thread of the conversation and running with it.

  He eyed Lily for help. “Um, yeah. Lily and I are dating.”

  “Whadda ya do for a living? You got a good job? You can take care of our Lily?” the man asked.

  Lily finally broke in. “Mr. Piccione.” She smiled. “I can take care of myself.”

  “Uh-uh, no way. If this guy has intentions toward ya, he’s gotta be a good provider. He’s gotta take care of you.” He turned back to Aiden. “Just what are your intentions? And what kinda name is Aiden anyway? Never heard it before. All these silly new names they have these days.” He shook his head.

  Lily laughed and made introductions. “The man giving you the third degree is Mr. Piccione, the lovely lady to your left is Irene Scott…” She continued, pointing and naming names until each and every one of the residents had been introduced to Aiden.

  A sudden frown appeared on Lily’s face. “Anyone know how Mrs. G is doing? Gail told me she’s sick.”

  Irene pouted and sighed. “Not so well, I’m afraid, dear. She’s in her room. Had to take the oxygen today.” The old woman tapped her chest. “Think it’s her heart.”

  Lily’s own heart sped up at her words. “Would it be OK if I leave Rex here with you?” Lily asked Mr. Piccione. “I want to go see Mrs. G.”

  “Sure. Gimme that leash. But when you get back, I want answers from your fella.” He winked.

  With a heavy heart, Lily forced a smile and waved at her friends as she made her way to Mrs. G.’s room. Before she even entered, she could hear the soft in and out of her friend’s respiration. Aiden stayed in the entranceway as she crept farther into the semidarkness. Finally, she made out the woman’s tiny figure. Hair, shoe-polish black, fanned out around her tiny, pale face, making it look as if she was lying on a dark pillowcase.

  Lily snapped on the lamp beside her. An oxygen tube hugged the woman’s nostrils, and an IV needle had been inserted and taped to the back of her papery-skinned hand. A machine kept the beat of her heart, which was slow but steady.

  Bouquets of flowers in vases, plants, and get-well cards sat on the windowsill. A lump formed in Lily’s throat. Was she going to lose her friend soon? Mrs. G. had lived in the Evelyn Harrison Seniors Center for decades, and Lily couldn’t imagine the place without her. A tiny dynamo, her friend was always moving and doing and taking care of everyone.

  Tears stung Lily’s eyes. She blinked, letting them slide down her cheeks, but dabbed them away before pulling up a chair to sit beside her friend, not wanting her to see her distress if she woke. With loving gentleness, she took Mrs. G.’s hand and sat with her while she slept. She glanced back at Aiden, who was still standing in the shadows, leaning against the metal door frame, arms folded. He nodded, letting her know he was fine. Lily gestured him in, but he waved her off and mouthed, Later.

  Then the weight of another hand landed on hers and Lily saw that Mrs. G. had clamped the hand free of the IV over her own. Her eyes were open and she was smiling.

  Lily smiled back, then bent to kiss a blue-veined hand. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like the old woman I am.” Her voice was raspy but surprisingly strong. “It’s nice to see you, angel.”

  Mrs. G. always called her that. Not honey or sweetheart or dear but angel. There was love in that word for Lily.

  “Is there anything I can do for you? Anything you need?”

  “Oh, no. Look around here. I’ve had visitors. Plenty of people, all wanting to do something for me.” Her eyes began to cloud with tears. “I know the truth, angel. They’re coming to say their good-byes.”

  “Don’t say that. You’re going to feel better soon.” Her words felt hollow and she feared Mrs. G. wasn’t buoyed by them.

  “Everybody’s got an expiration date and mine is coming on fast. Don’t let my silly old tears fool you. I’m ready to go when the Lord calls me home. It’s just that…” The old woman stumbled, looking off in the distance, seemingly searching for the right words before she continued, “I don’t like good-byes. I’m gonna miss everyone.” More tears blossomed in the corners of her eyes, and Lily grabbed a Kleenex from the night table to dab them away.

  Mrs. G. had hold of Lily’s heartstrings and was yanking hard. How could she reply? Nothing she could say would make things better. Good-byes were horrible. She’d had more than her share, but she did have faith there was a place beyond here. She didn’t know if heaven was the right word, but another dimension perhaps—where her sister and mother now lived. Souls are connected forever; love never died. She hoped that was true anyway, and that’s what she told Mrs. G.

  The old woman’s eyes brightened. “I think you’re right, angel. The people on the other side told me the same thing.”

  Lily’s brow furrowed. “People? What people? And on the other side of what?” This she hadn’t expected, and she wondered briefly about her friend’s mental state.

  But wisdom shone in Mrs. G.’s eyes. “I think you already know. You forget what you just told me already?” She gave a little laugh. “The veil thins when you’re as old as I am and when you’re on the brink of death.” She patted Lily’s hand. “Ah, angel, don’t you worry. I’m not losing my mind, but I’ve seen the people on the other side. You know, the place where we go when we die. That’s how I know my time is coming. Think they’re checking in and want me to know they’ll be there for me when I pass over.”

  Lily was
intrigued now and surprised at the wisdom in Mrs. G.’s words. “Who are these people?”

  “Loved ones, friends and family who’ve gone before me. Saw my parents and my husband. Only thing is I can’t get to them. And they can’t get all the way here to me. I see their lips moving but can only hear them speaking in my head.” Mrs. G’s hands tightened on Lily’s. “It comforts me so much.”

  Was what she was saying true or just the imaginings of an old woman on the brink of death? Lily held the same beliefs, but she and Mrs. G. hadn’t spoken about these things before. Either way, she figured it didn’t matter, just as long as her friend was finding comfort in her faith.

  The old woman shifted, trying to push herself to a sitting position, but Lily laid a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll help you. Just stay there.” She pushed a button and a mechanical clang set the bed in motion. Lily stopped once it was at a slight incline. “Better?”

  “Much.” She sighed then raised a finger in the air. “Oh, before I forget, go over there.” She pointed to a vase of flowers on the window ledge. “You’re supposed to look right in the middle.”

  Lily laughed. What could possibly be in the middle of a flower arrangement that would be meaningful to her? “Are you serious?”

  “Oh yes, Sara wants you to.”

  Gooseflesh pricked her arms. “Sara who?” Her words were slow and cautious. She dare not think of the only Sara she knew.

  “Your sister of course,” Mrs. G. answered with a spark of mischief in her eyes.

  Lily’s hand flew to her chest in an effort to calm her banging heart. No, this couldn’t be happening. She was making it up.

  Slowly, Lily rose, and on legs that felt as if they were made of straw, she walked over to the vase sitting on the ledge. It was jammed with flowers of every sort and color. With shaking hands, she parted them and peered down. In the center, cut shorter than the others, was a pink tulip.

  She plucked it out and stared unbelieving. Tulips were Sara’s favorite flower.

  “You gonna tell me what it means?” Mrs. G. asked eagerly.

  Lily thought for a second, then turned to Aiden and waved him in. This time he came. “Mrs. G., this is Aiden. He’s very important to me, and I want you to meet him. I think the tulip was Sara’s way of telling me I should go on with my life and be happy. It’s been hard losing my sister, and I felt like I didn’t have a right to my own happiness because her life ended so tragically. She’s giving me permission.” Lily grinned up at Aiden. In turn, his face crinkled into a smile.

  Aiden turned to Mrs. G. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  She smiled at him for a moment, taking him in, studying his face. “What a handsome fellow,” Mrs. G. finally said to Lily. “You two gonna get married?”

  They shared a laugh at the directness of the questions they’d been facing from the residents. Reaching a certain age had its privileges, and one of them seemingly was a complete and utter lack of boundaries.

  “Who knows what the future holds.” Aiden winked.

  CHAPTER 28

  In their absence, the cabin had grown cold. Aiden went directly to the fireplace and began to build the perfect blaze, a task he’d grow adept at.

  “What did you think of Mrs. G.?” Lily stood behind him, watching as he stoked the flames.

  “She’s lovely.”

  “That’s it?”

  “I’m sorry about what she’s going through. It must be hard getting old and knowing you only have a limited time left on earth.”

  Lily took his hand and led him to the couch. “But she’s at peace with the idea of passing. You heard her.”

  Aiden laughed. “I’m not sure we’re on the same page when it comes to that sort of thing.”

  “What do you mean by, ‘that sort of thing’?”

  “You know, all that living in another dimension when we die mumbo jumbo. I think when our time’s up, we just cease to exist. Turn to dust and that’s it.”

  Aiden had told her a few times what his thoughts were on the subject, but it was such a big part of her world view and faith that the differences in their philosophies bothered her.

  “Do we have to talk about his now?” He nibbled at her neck, planting feathery kisses up and down her throat, finally ending with a lingering kiss at the hollow of her neck.

  Heat bloomed in her cheeks as the flush of excitement ran through her. Why did her body have to betray her?

  He took her hand and kissed it, then scooped her up into his arms and made his way to the loft. She let him, powerless, as if he’d cast a spell.

  * * *

  Natalie’s cell phone rang just as she entered the house. She’d had a long day of following Aiden and Lily around to stupid places like cemeteries and old folks’ homes. Were they fixated on death or something? Or was it because Halloween was just days away that their inner morbid was surfacing?

  Not in the mood to chat with anyone, she glanced at her phone, ready to hit “ignore,” but it was Antonio’s name on the screen again.

  “What is it?” she said, putting up a brave front, but fearing his response. She’d been living off coffee, doughnuts, and her mother’s stupid cupcakes for days now. Her hand shook so badly she could barely keep the phone against her ear.

  Antonio sighed. “You sitting down?”

  Natalie was in the powder room now, sorting through the various bottles of pills her mother kept there. Finally, she found the one she wanted, popped the top, and swallowed a tiny pink pill. The knot of worry unraveling like a snake in her belly would soon calm. She put down the lid of the toilet seat and sat, preparing herself for bad news. “Sitting now.”

  “OK, I’m not going to beat around the bush. Wilkins is on his way to your house. Your mother’s about to be arrested.”

  She wasn’t surprised; she knew her mother’s prints were on that gun, but yesterday she’d been too angry to give a shit. Hell, she would have opened the front door for Sheriff Wilkins herself. Now though, fear gripped her in hard, unyielding hands, and she nearly dropped the phone. They were coming for her mother.

  Why did she care now? Because now it was real, and as much as she didn’t like to admit it, even though she hated her mother and sometimes even wished her dead, she didn’t really want her to go to jail. What would become of her if her family was torn apart? She was grown but just barely. She still needed them.

  Natalie eyed the pill bottle and contemplated taking another, or maybe a handful. Instead, she pocketed it for later.

  “Her finger and palm prints were a match to the murder weapon; she had motive and no alibi,” Antonio continued. “I’m sorry. I know how hard you tried to keep Wilkins off your dad’s scent but…” He hesitated. “Maybe she did it, Natalie. Isn’t it better it’s your mom and not your dad? I know how close you are to him and—”

  “Fuck off. You’re a piece-of-shit cop. All you did was take my money and for what? You didn’t keep me safe.” She melted to the floor, dropping the phone and banging her head on the marble. The pain pierced through her forehead into her temples, but she needed it; she wanted it. She had to feel something other than her own heart breaking.

  Antonio’s voice echoed from her phone. She plucked it up and smashed it down on the floor. One loud crack and it shattered, rendered useless. She picked up the pieces and threw them into the waste-paper basket.

  She could hear her parents’ muffled voices somewhere nearby. Where were they? In the library? In the great room? They hadn’t come running. That meant they hadn’t heard her tantrum. Should she warn them? No, it was too late for that.

  There was only one thing left to do.

  CHAPTER 29

  Natalie made her way to her father’s bar and nosed around until she found what she was looking for. Everclear, one of the highest proof liquors ever made. She knew it was there, had seen it, even tried it once. After knocking back a shot, which she’d even watered down, it felt as if she’d been stabbed in the throat. The liquor was actually flammable and even had a
label on it warning against drinking it straight. Horrible stuff but it was just what she needed. She took four bottles from the well-stocked bar and stuffed them in her leather satchel.

  Then she went in search of more supplies and her backup phone. The SIM card from the smashed cell was salvageable, and she slid it into the older model. She’d charge the battery in the car.

  Natalie parked at the bottom of Aiden’s driveway, pulling off to the side as close to the pines as she could get without slipping into the ditch. She was sure her parents hadn’t heard her leave. Let them worry, if they even realized she was gone. They didn’t care about her anyway. Why should she care about them? Proper parents, good parents, took care of their kids. They didn’t cheat. They didn’t drink themselves into oblivion or take pills. They didn’t throw the word “divorce” around, scaring the shit out of their kid.

  Fueled by self-righteousness and self-pity, Natalie exited the SUV, threw her satchel over her shoulder, and yanked on a knitted hat, ready for her last-ditch effort to make everything safe in her world again. She had two plans, though the sinking feeling that Plan A more than likely wouldn’t pan out saddened her. The thought of implementing Plan B calmed her despite what it entailed.

  Plunging her hands deep into the pockets of her down-filled jacket, she caressed the frigid metal of the Beretta’s grip. Gently, she placed a finger on the trigger. She wouldn’t apply pressure, not yet, but her heartbeat slowed just having it in her hand. Power was what the gun gave her, the power to persuade. The power to take life. She knew how people saw her—they couldn’t imagine she was capable of killing anyone. After all, wasn’t she just a troubled teenager?

  The night was wintry despite the fact it was technically still autumn, and it was dark, the only light coming from the stars and crescent moon. It’d be awesome to take the time to appreciate the night sky. If only she didn’t have so many worries and so many loose ends that needed tying. The pill she’d downed earlier was at the height of its effect, calming her and bolstering her determination.