The Lady The Duke And The Gentleman

by Abby Ayles

  Duke Godwin laughed a little. “If she needs those skills then she did not marry a good man. It is the husband's job to take on tasks which occur beyond the home, the wife's job to remain at home and handle the tasks which take place within.”

  Antoinette did not feel comfortable. She was nothing like what Duke Godwin truly wanted in a woman. He wanted someone quiet and domestic and obedient. And it was not up to her whether he deserved that, but she knew full well that by marrying him she would either deny him such a wife, or deny herself a life of freedom. It was not right. She was not different to the other women he had seen. She too wanted him only for the money and safety he could offer. She too was acting selfishly.

  But she needed to. He was her best option.

  “Oh, hello there Antoinette,” a voice said shakily from her side. Antoinette stopped dancing, forcing Duke Godwin to stop also.

  They both looked over at where the voice had come from. Sir Dodge was stood, quite red in the face, smiling a little. He nodded to Antoinette. She nodded back as sternly and politely as she could. He was not her first choice, and she did not wish to give Duke Godwin any cause for concern. But she also did not want Sir Dodge to believe he stood no chance at all. After all, what if Duke Godwin did not marry her? But... something was up with Sir Dodge. Something more than usual.

  Sir Dodge locked eyes with her, then glared at Duke Godwin. “Why him?” Sir Dodge asked, pointing at Duke Godwin. “He would never let you live the life you deserve.” A slight drawl at the end of Sir Dodge's sentences confirmed Antoinette's suspicions: he was intoxicated. She was not sure how much, but he had drunk more than he could handle whilst remaining civil. So he would not remain civil. “I may not be as important or as wealthy yet, but I will be someone someday. And by my side you would be free to do whatever you wished.”

  Around them the other dancers had stopped, everyone was focusing on the drama unfolding before them. And, at the centre of it, Antoinette felt somewhat sickened and scared, not just for her reputation, but for her wellbeing, and that of her two suitors. They were not supposed to run into each other. Not with the tensions between them.

  She had managed to keep them apart, even as the gifts had become more extravagant and their unannounced visits more frequent. She had managed to persuade one to leave before the other arrived, and to avoid discussing them in front of one another. And yet perhaps a confrontation like that would have been better. One in private, sober, yet with servants around to evict either should they have acted improperly. This was just... concerning.

  Sir Dodge stepped forward amidst the now still dancers. Although he had been drinking, it was clear to Antoinette that he had had enough to upset his mind, not his body. His steps were confident and firm. He stopped mere inches away from Duke Godwin and glared up at him.

  “Let's go outside. I wish to duel with you,” Sir Dodge said, seizing Duke Godwin's wrist.

  In some ways, the scene was comical. Sir Dodge, although by no means a short man, stood a good few inches shorter than Duke Godwin. Due to his youth, he was also of a smaller build, and had significantly thinner facial hair. Next to a woman he would be obviously a man, but next to someone as tall, broad, and strong as Duke Godwin he looked like a teenage boy.

  In other ways it was horrifying. Antoinette knew full well that the difference in size meant nothing to a man's pride. Duke Godwin could easily break Sir Dodge, but Sir Dodge would give it his best effort. Whether they chose pistols or the blade, Sir Dodge would probably die, and Duke Godwin would be injured at least.

  Thankfully, Duke Godwin pulled his arm away from Sir Dodge. “Stop acting like a mindless brute,” he said. “We live in a good and civilized society, not one where the rules of feudal England persist.” He cast the younger man a look of disgust.

  Had he not done so it was possible that Sir Dodge would have backed away. But as their eyes locked again, Duke Godwin's obvious disdain for Sir Dodge made the younger man's face flush even redder with pure anger. He raised his hand and swung a punch at Duke Godwin so fast that the taller man barely dodged, the fist grazing his jaw as he leaned back.

  Antoinette let out an audible gasp and stepped back as the men squared up against each other.

  “You little lout,” Duke Godwin remarked, grabbing Sir Dodge's fist as he swung for a second time.

  Sir Dodge let out an almost animal growl and swung with the other hand, provoking Duke Godwin to yank his hand and squeeze his fist. A crunch was heard. Sir Dodge whimpered, but nevertheless swung again, his free hand landing on Duke Godwin's throat, causing the latter to cough as his windpipe was briefly squashed.

  Antoinette felt her stomach turn. “Stop!” she shouted. “Cease this ridiculous behaviour immediately! You are acting like schoolboys!”

  Sir Dodge paused and locked eyes with her. “But I am doing it for you. To prove my love and devotion for you.”

  “Antoinette, step back and leave this to me,” Duke Godwin said. “This man is clearly intoxicated and probably deranged. Did you know he has been caught lying to young women about his wealth and power? Stealing too. I am shocked he is at the ball at all.” As he spoke he released Sir Dodge's hand.

  Sir Dodge shook his head. “I swear to you they are all lies,” he insisted. “I have given you enough presents to prove my wealth, have I not?”

  Sir Dodge attempted to step forward, but Duke Godwin put his arm out to prevent the younger man from getting any closer to Antoinette. “Stolen items do not prove your wealth,” he remarked.

  Duke Godwin's arm in Sir Dodge's way provoked yet another angry and impotent swing of the fist. The crowd was beginning to look wary, and starting to give the men enough space that, were a fight to break out, none of the onlookers would be affected.

  Antoinette felt insulted and humiliated. She wanted to shout at them that she did not love, nor wish to marry, either of them, and that they ought to stop fighting over her like two dogs scrapping for a bone. But she did not. She simply looked on in horror as Sir Dodge lunged at Duke Godwin again and Duke Godwin, pulling hard on Sir Dodge's arm, sent him toppling to the floor. As Sir Dodge pushed himself up. There was blood running down from his nose and lip.

  The crowd suddenly parted and Lady Byrd, proud and confident as a queen, strode towards the two men. Behind her followed two of the strongest foot servants, and a gardener, their strongest member of staff.

  Lady Byrd had an expression of such rage, confusion, and disgust on her face, Antoinette was worried she would faint before she could do anything. But she did not. “Please escort Sir Dodge outside,” she said to the two-foot servants.

  Sir Dodge was about to protest, but saw the two strong men walking up to him and suddenly seemed much more sober. He stood up on his own, scoffing indignantly and pulling his arm away when the servants began to guide him out of the room. He muttered under his breath as he left, but the crowd was so silent that Antoinette could make out “she will just be miserable anyway” as he walked out the door.

  As soon as he was gone a murmur of gossip began in the room, and a few people approached Antoinette and Duke Godwin, asking questions with a look of raw excitement on their faces. Antoinette was disgusted, but smiled politely and shrugged.

  She was grateful when her mother seized her arm and, apologizing to the guests, guided her out the room.

  Chapter 32

  Taking her daughter aside, Lady Byrd hugged her closely. “I am so sorry that happened,” she said. “If I had known...” She shook her head. “Men can be a little bit temperamental when it comes to love.”

  “It was not Duke Godwin's fault,” Antoinette began. “Sir Dodge, he...”

  “Did he start the fight?” Lady Byrd asked.

  “He seemed intoxicated. He was asking Duke Godwin to duel,” she added, furrowing her brow in confusion.

  “I should have guessed,” her mother replied with a sigh. “We have all been learning much about him lately. I did not wish to tell you and ruin Christmas, but there is a reason why h
e has not been around these past few days.”

  Antoinette paused, looked away a moment, then looked back to her mother. “You mean to say that... Duke Godwin was saying that Sir Dodge has been stealing to make it look like he is wealthier than he is.”

  “We know,” Lady Byrd replied. “In fact, he had not even been invited. We do not know how he got in.” She shook her head. “All that matters is that you are well. Are you well?”

  “I believe so. It is simply hard to believe that something like that can happen in our own home...”

  Lady Byrd hugged Antoinette again. “Do you want to go back out? Dance some more?”

  Antoinette shook her head. “Sorry... I... I would like a little space.”

  Lady Byrd smiled understandingly. “You wait here. I will bring you a glass of wine.”

  As Antoinette waited for her mother to return, she could still feel her heart thumping hard against her rib cage. It was too much. It was all just too much. She had not been raised around rough and tumble boys, let alone brutish fighting. And even the mention of a duel had made her blood run cold. Duke Godwin had been a gentleman and acted in a civilized manner, even when provoked, which had brought her some comfort. And yet... it was not enough to ease her frazzled nerves.

  She was so on edge that when she heard a man's footsteps approaching she leapt to her feet. But it was only Mr. Perry. Letting out a deep sigh she collapsed back into the chair.

  “Are you well?” he asked gingerly. “What happened out there seems to have bothered you...”

  “Oh no, it's only two men trying to kill one another over which of them I ought to marry, it really was nothing,” she replied, rubbing her temples with her fingertips.

  Mr. Perry sat down on the arm of the chair. “Men sometimes do such things. We can be hot-blooded at times.”

  Antoinette looked up at Mr. Perry and smiled. “I have a hard time believing you would act in such a brutish manner.”

  He shrugged. “Do I seem so weak and passive to you?”

  “You seem civilized,” she replied.

  “Even a civilized man will act brutish when he is defending the woman he loves, or his children,” Mr. Perry countered.

  “I suppose. But that out there was just... completely and utterly unwarranted.”

  “I suppose it was a bit over the top. Duke Godwin may have been acting like the bigger man, but a blind man on a galloping horse could have seen he was trying to get Sir Dodge worked up.”

  “I suspected as much also. But why would he do that?” Antoinette asked.

  “So he could have an opportunity to look good in front of you,” Mr. Perry replied. “Mark my words, he will propose before the week is out. Probably tonight.”

  Once again Antoinette had mixed feelings about this. It was good news, of course. But it was also not at all what she wanted. What she wanted was not possible.

  Hearing her mother's footsteps returning made her realize that they had been staring into each other's eyes. Breaking the gaze she felt her face grow hot. She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye and saw he too was blushing brightly.

  Lady Byrd walked into the room carrying two glasses of wine and looked from Antoinette to Mr. Perry and back to Antoinette again. Antoinette smiled. “Thank you for the wine. Mr. Perry was concerned that I might be in a state of shock.”

  Lady Byrd smiled gently. “I understand. Would you like the other glass, Mr. Perry?” she offered.

  He shook his head and stood up, looking around nervously. “I must get back to Lucy. I shall tell everyone that Antoinette is well and they must continue to enjoy the party in her absence.”

  As he left the room, Lady Byrd passed Antoinette her glass. “Be careful, Antoinette,” Lady Byrd said, sipping her own wine. “Be careful who you entertain. It's not always the usual suspects who will hurt you, or the expected ways you will be hurt.”

  “I know, mother,” Antoinette replied, feeling her heart ache.

  After the ball Antoinette was still struggling with her thoughts and feelings for Mr. Perry. It was wrong. She knew it was wrong. And yet she was doing it anyway. She wanted to spend every possible second by his side. Even if they could never again meet in private. Even if she could never marry him, or feel his skin and lips on hers. Even if they would remain forever friends. She had to spend time with him. All the company in the world would not make up for his absence, and she could abstain from all other company as long as he was present.

  Watching the servants tidying the room, she realized how transient everything was. The ball and the fight, which had appeared so recent, were swept up and dismissed along with the streamers and glasses. Yet Mr. Perry was embedded in her heart so deeply that even though their last midnight rendezvous was weeks ago, it felt as fresh as if it had just happened. And that was a good thing too, because perhaps after tonight she would never have a chance to sneak away and see him again.

  Lady Byrd weaved among the servants as they cleaned, walking up to where Antoinette was sitting. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “The ball ended an hour ago. I thought you would be in bed.”

  Antoinette shook her head. “I could not possibly sleep after tonight. But I did not wish to be alone, so I decided to watch the servants clean.

  Lady Byrd sighed a little. “Antoinette... these things happen. Not often, but they do happen. You must learn to overcome life's inconveniences and go on to be happy in spite of them.”

  “I am trying,” she replied.

  “At any rate, it is good that you are not yet in bed, we have something important to discuss. Come this way.” Lady Byrd beckoned.

  Antoinette stood up reluctantly and followed her mother. She had a feeling she knew what it would be about, but her suspicions were confirmed when, upon entering the room, she saw her father and Duke Godwin talking. Mr. Perry was right. Mr. Perry was often right.

  “Hello Antoinette, come here,” her father said, beckoning her. “Duke Godwin and I have had a conversation and, provided you are happy, we have an important decision to make.”

  “I have given this much thought and... Antoinette, would you like to marry me?” Duke Godwin said, locking eyes with her.

  Antoinette wished she had been asked back when she was still caring for him, back when she still had hope that marrying him would do her good. When he had first suggested marriage back then, she had been excited. Now she tried to emulate that excitement by smiling and embracing her father, but it was all a show. She then turned to face Duke Godwin and forced out a smile.

  “Yes, I would,” she replied. But this time, unlike when he was ill, her heart did not leap. She did not feel euphoric. She felt... nothing.

  He did not notice. She saw his eyes light up as she accepted his proposal. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. “I am so glad! I had never thought I would meet the perfect woman to be my wife. Why... if I had been told even a year ago that I would be standing before my fiancée today, I would not have believed it. I promise to make you the happiest woman alive.”

  Antoinette still smiled. “And I promise to make you the happiest man I can.”

  “But what am I doing?” Duke Godwin said, releasing her hands. “I must begin to make arrangements. Perhaps we can marry before Christmas... or between Christmas and the New Year? Yes, let's have a festive wedding and make the most of the fact that all our loved ones shall be gathering. We must meet early tomorrow. I shall bring my plans.”

  Antoinette just smiled as he excitedly told her of various ideas he had for the wedding. It didn't matter to her. It was not her wedding. It was not for her. It was for him, and his family, and her family. He could have whatever he wanted. Letting him have whatever he wanted would be good practise for how she would need to treat him for the rest of his life. And not having what her heart truly desired would be good practise for the rest of hers.

  She wanted to talk to someone about all of this, but the one person she could trust with such matters was the very person she could never, ever tell a
bout her feelings. After all, he already knew. Mr. Perry knew full well how much she loved him. And he held at least some affections for her also. And it could never be. Even talking about it would just make them both unhappy.

  Getting up bright and early the next morning, Antoinette felt that the bright sunshine streaming in through the window did not truly reflect the existential dread she felt upon contemplating a day of wedding planning with Duke Godwin. But she had to put on a brave face and go ahead with it. Perhaps with practise it would get easier to give in to him continually...

  He arrived in time for breakfast. Everyone around the table seemed to be having a wonderful time. Duke Godwin was over the moon, discussing the venue for the wedding, and where would be best for Antoinette to get fitted for a dress. Her parents seemed pleased to be in his company once again. Antoinette forced herself to smile as much as possible, all the while wondering what Mr. Perry would choose for a wedding.

  After breakfast she was encouraged to go for a walk around the garden with Duke Godwin, supervised from the windows by her mother.

  “I would love to but it is a little cold...” she said, wondering if she could possibly persuade them enough that she could avoid his company entirely. At least until she had mentally prepared herself for what was going to happen, and dismissed her feelings for Mr. Perry.

  “Nonsense, the weather is lovely for this time of year,” Duke Godwin insisted. “Please, come and walk with me. We have so much to discuss.”

  Antoinette took her time finding her cloak and shoes. She could only delay the inevitable. As she slipped her fingers around Duke Godwin's strong arm, she remembered the times when she had touched Mr. Perry's leaner, thinner arms. At the time she had not enjoyed it, but simply looking back was enough to give her butterflies now.

  “It is a shame there are no flowers,” Duke Godwin remarked as they walked down the garden. “Flowers are a wonderful source of inspiration for weddings, do you not think?”