Playing the Enemy: The Trouble With Tomboys #1

by Dallen, Maggie

  I jerked back a bit. “Really,” I said slowly, trying not to show how much that stung. “So that’s the only possible reason he might have wanted to be with me. Because of you. It couldn’t have been because…oh, I don’t know…he actually liked me?”

  Caleb squinted at me like I was speaking a foreign language. “We were kids, Hannah. It’s not like we’re talking true love or something. Besides, everyone always knew that River had it out for me. He wanted my life, which meant he wanted you.”

  “Because I was your best friend,” I clarified.

  Caleb just looked at me, his silence an affirmation.

  I shifted from one foot to the other as my mind tried to reframe our history. “Caleb, were we…I mean, did we…” I cleared my throat. “Was I ever more than a friend to you?”

  He winced a bit, and I had my answer.

  I started to move away, hurt swelling up in me, but not pain. Once again it was my pride that was wounded, it was realizing how blind I’d been that made me want to run away.

  “Hannah, hear me out,” Caleb said.

  I stopped and stood there, because we were long past due for this conversation. When I turned back, he was slouching with his hands shoved in his jeans’ pockets. “I didn’t know the difference,” he said. “I thought…I mean, I figured that because I loved hanging out with you, and we got along so well…I thought that was what it meant to be in a relationship.”

  I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “But?”

  “But then…then I met Val,” he said, an apology in his voice. “And I knew. I just knew, the first time I met her that what I felt when I was around her was like nothing I’d ever felt before.”

  I nodded, and he took a step forward. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said. “And I’m so sorry I did. I really did think that what we had was the real thing, it just took….”

  “It took finding the real thing to realize that we weren’t it,” I finished for him.

  A look of relief swept over him that I understood.

  And I did understand. Maybe because I’d been starting to figure out the same thing.

  Caleb looked away, his jaw working before he turned back to face me. “I know I’ve been acting like a prick lately, and I’m sorry. I just…” He cleared his throat. “I hated that I hurt you, and I handled it all wrong.”

  I nodded. I think a part of me knew this whole time that his anger was more toward himself than with me. He wasn’t a bad guy but he did have a huge ego and he never wanted to see himself as the bad guy.

  “I don’t want to see you hurt by anyone,” he said. “Least of all me.”

  “I know that.”

  His eyes narrowed a bit. “And when I saw you with River…” He let out a loud exhale. “Hannah, you have to believe me. He’s just using you to get to me.”

  I held up a hand to stop him. Maybe he was partially right. Maybe he’d been using me—but I’d been using him, too. And I didn’t believe for one second that River’s intentions were bad.

  I might not have known River well for long, but I did know him. In some ways, I felt like I knew him better than I knew Caleb.

  “Val is worried that I got into that fight with River because I was jealous.” Caleb’s expression was crestfallen, and I was certain he was still stewing over whatever fight he’d just had with his new girl. “But that’s not it. I just don’t want to see you hurt. We might not be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still care about you.”

  “I know you do,” I said quietly. “And I care about you. I’m sure I always will. But I don’t need you protecting me, and I definitely don’t want you fighting River for me.”

  He frowned, and I knew he was about to protest. I held up my hand again to stop him. “The only person who’s hurt me lately is you.”

  He flinched, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

  Had River hurt me? No. I’d been hurt, yes. Obviously. But there was a difference. He hadn’t hurt me, but I’d hurt him. The fake relationship had led to the kind of drama that could ruin everything he’d been working for.

  I tilted my chin up. “River wasn’t trying to get to you,” I said. “And he’s not your enemy.”

  Caleb’s jaw twitched, but he kept quiet.

  “If you really want to make things up to me, then you can do the right thing by River.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I planted my hands on my hips. “You and I both know that the fight wasn’t his fault. He saw you grab me, and he wanted to protect me.” I just barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Heaven save me from overprotective males.

  Caleb gave a grunt of acknowledgement. The best I could hope for, I supposed.

  “The director is placing all the blame on him, and that’s not fair.”

  Guilt flashed through his eyes, and I knew he knew I was right.

  “You want to make things right with me?” I said. “Make things right for River.”

  He nodded as he started to back away. “You sure you know what you’re doing with that guy?”

  I shook my head. “No,” I said in all honesty. “But I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t try.”

  Try…what? I wasn’t sure.

  Caleb gave me a sympathetic little smile, and I was relieved he didn’t ask for any more explanations. Maybe he understood that when it came to new, fledgling relationships, things could get kind of…complicated.

  “Take care of yourself, Crowley,” he said.

  I gave him a little wave as I headed inside to ask my mom for her car keys. “See you around, Everette.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Hannah

  I still wasn’t sure what my plan was as I drove across town to the soccer field where the Fairmont team practiced. I gripped the steering wheel too hard as nerves wreaked havoc in my belly.

  I had no idea what I was going to say when I saw River, but at least he’d agreed to meet me.

  I glanced over at the neatly folded uniform sitting on the passenger’s seat. Granted, he’d agreed to meet so I could give him the clothes back, but still… It was a start.

  He was already there when I pulled into the lot beside his motorcycle.

  “Awfully late for a school night, isn’t it, Crowley?” He was leaning against a light post that cast a harsh fluorescent glow over the lot.

  I tried not to be too disheartened by his use of my last name. “I thought maybe we could talk,” I said.

  He eyed the bundle of clothes in my arms. “What do you want to talk about?”

  I opened my mouth and stopped. I’d come close enough to see his eyes and they were shuttered. Cold. I swallowed down an agonizing sense of helplessness. “Uh, I found my replacement.”

  His brows hitched up ever so slightly. “That was quick.”

  If he was even remotely sad to be losing me, he didn’t show it. I bit my lip and glanced around at the empty lot and the dark field that stretched beyond it. “Yeah, well, I talked to one of the players from Lakeview’s girls’ team. She’s itching to stay in shape before their season starts up, so she leapt at the chance.”

  “Why didn’t she just play for Caleb then?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “Apparently some people find him…conceited.”

  His lips twitched up at that. “Did you tell her she could expect the same from me?”

  I laughed, relieved that the tension between us was diminishing, if only just a little. “I told her you were full of yourself, but possibly with good reason.”

  He grinned and shifted away from the pole. “Possibly, huh? High praise coming from you.”

  “Well, you have your moments.”

  We were both grinning at each other until the silence stretched too long. I took a jerky step forward. “Here you go.”

  He looked at it for a second before taking it. “You could have just given it to her.”

  I pretended to be offended. “So I had to go through a grueling tryout, and she’s just on the team
with no questions asked?”

  He shrugged. “I trust you. You say she’s good, I believe it.”

  It was the ‘I trust you’ that got to me. I swallowed down nerves and stepped even closer. “I’m so sorry, River.”

  “It’s not your fault.” He cut me off so quickly I couldn’t even say what I was apologizing for.

  “It was partially my fault,” I said. “This whole mess occurred because I was being petty.”

  He didn’t argue; he just sort of looked away like he was bored by the conversation. That closed off look was back in his eyes and the smile had faded to a smirk. “Tell your friend she should be at practice tomorrow if she wants the spot.”

  I nodded, my chest swelling and my heart aching as he started to move away.

  “Wait!”

  He turned back.

  “I talked to Caleb.”

  His jaw twitched but that was it.

  “He…” I cleared my throat. “He told me something.”

  His eyes darkened ever so slightly. “Let me guess. He wants you back.”

  I started. “What? No. I mean—”

  “Of course he does,” he continued like I hadn’t interrupted. “It was obvious he was crazy jealous.”

  “No, he wasn’t—” I stopped. I didn’t want to talk about the fight or about Caleb at all, really.

  His smirk turned utterly humorless. “If you were hoping to make him jealous, I’d say mission accomplished.”

  His words felt like a slap. No, a shove. He was pushing me away.

  “You know I wasn’t trying to make him jealous.”

  He shrugged like it was all the same to him. His expression turned impatient as he moved away toward his bike, like he couldn’t get away fast enough. “Guess I’ll be seeing you—”

  “Caleb said you liked me.”

  He paused, his profile barely visible.

  Oh crap, that sounded so incredibly stupid. So terribly juvenile.

  “He told you what?”

  I cleared my throat and moved closer to him but he didn’t turn to face me. “He said you liked me. Back when we were kids.”

  He gave a huff of amusement as he turned back to me with cynical eyes. “Of course, I liked you. You were the nicest one on that team. You were the only one who didn’t seem to notice that I was wearing ripped-up hand-me-downs and holey shoes.”

  “I don’t think anyone cared.”

  “Caleb cared,” he said.

  I drew in a deep breath. I knew what he was doing. He wanted to make this about Caleb, about our class difference, about anything at all except whatever this was between us.

  Because maybe he didn’t feel it.

  I blinked back a sting of tears. Of course, he felt it. He had to…right? I couldn’t have been the only one who’d felt the world shift on its orbit when we kissed.

  I couldn’t have been the only one who felt this tension between us whenever we talked—so heady and exciting and terrifying all at the same time. It couldn’t be one-sided.

  Could it?

  “Did you like me?” I hated how breathless my voice sounded.

  He gave me a look that said I was crazy. “What does it matter? I was twelve.”

  I swallowed and licked my dry lips. “Do you like me now?”

  He stared at me for so long, I was almost afraid to breathe and break the moment.

  I was definitely afraid to hear his answer.

  A flicker of uncertainty was visible beyond the shuttered look in his eyes, and I leapt on that. I clung to it. “Because, the thing is, I like you.”

  It came out on a rush of air, and for a second I thought he hadn’t heard me. But then he dropped his head into his hands with a groan.

  I inched closer but stopped when he looked up. “Don’t say that.”

  “Why not?”

  He shook his head, his expression filled with an apology that I hated. “Look, you’re a great girl, Hannah. You really are—”

  I could see the ‘but’ coming from a mile away.

  “But I can’t do this.”

  I stared at him. “Can’t do this,” I repeated slowly. “What exactly does that refer to?”

  He sighed. “Don’t make me spell it out, Hannah.”

  Pride told me to let it go, to just walk away with a smile and a ‘that’s okay. No biggie. Totally get it.’ But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just give up on something before it even had a chance to begin.

  “No,” I said. “I need you to tell me.”

  His jaw clenched and he let out a huff of annoyance. “What? You want me to explain to you exactly why this wouldn’t work out?”

  I am a masochist. I knew I was asking for trouble, and yet, I still nodded. He seemed to take this as a challenge, and soon, he was stalking toward me, all brooding intensity. When he stopped, he was only an inch away. Close enough to smell, to hear his breathing…close enough to touch.

  “We live in different worlds,” he said.

  I snorted. “Try again. That was a lame reason to distrust me a few weeks ago, and it’s even lamer now that you know me.”

  “You only think it’s lame because you live on the right side of the tracks.”

  I clenched my hands into fists. Holy cow, did he even hear himself right now? “I think it’s lame because you’re using that as an excuse to push me away.”

  He arched his brows. “Fine. You know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal that you’re a spoiled little rich girl from Lakeview if your ex wasn’t the only thing standing in the way of me and my dream.”

  I took a quick breath as Caleb’s words came back to me; he’d sounded so sure that River’s interest in me was all due to his hatred for Caleb. I’d been so sure it wasn’t, but now… No. I shoved the doubt to the side. “This isn’t about Caleb.”

  “Isn’t it?” I hated that sarcasm in his tone. “You’re telling me you would have given me a second look if you hadn’t realized that joining my team would drive him nuts?”

  I leaned forward, anger pulsing through me. “Was playing for Caleb’s rival an added bonus? Of course, it was. I never lied about that. But I joined your team because I wanted to play the game.” I drew in a deep breath, and my senses were muddled by the clean, delicious scent of him. “Why is that so hard for you people to understand?”

  “You people?”

  I waved a hand toward him, leaning back a bit so I could think. “Yes, you people. You…boys. You and Caleb. You’re both so cocky. You know, if you both weren’t so stubborn, you’d probably be the best of friends.”

  He made a growling sound. “Take it back.”

  I arched my brows and planted my hands on my hips again. “Make me.”

  We squared off for a second, and I tried not to think how juvenile we’d just sounded. What could I say? My intellect wasn’t in full control around this guy. But that was the point.

  “Look, I know you have your reasons for wanting me out of the picture,” I started, using my most reasonable voice.

  “Yeah, because with you everything is…” He shook his head slightly, suddenly looking more flustered than I’d ever seen him. “Everything is complicated. Everything is messy.”

  “But maybe now that I’m not on the team,” I started.

  “I don’t think—”

  “You never answered my question,” I interrupted. “Do you like me?”

  He didn’t answer right away. Instead, I saw something shut down in his eyes. He was closing himself off from me, and it sent a jolt of pain through me. His gaze raked over me, from my baggy T-shirt to my well-worn Converse. “You’re not exactly…my type.”

  I blinked in surprise at the coldness in his voice, my stomach sinking at the implication. Like maybe I wasn’t pretty enough or girlie enough or… “I thought it didn’t matter to you that I…” I trailed off, gesturing to my clothes, to the uniform that was still in his hands. “That I’m a tomboy.”

  His eyes were cold when they met mine. “The only t
hing that matters to me is getting out of this town and out of my house. The only thing that I care about is soccer. That’s my future.”

  He might as well have punched me in the gut. I was winded and having a hard time drawing in air. When I did, my lungs ached. My ribcage was too tight, my heart was too big. Nothing felt right. Nothing fit properly. “I guess that’s my answer.”

  He still hadn’t outright answered the basic question. Did he like me? Did he want to be with me? But I supposed he did answer in a roundabout sort of way. Soccer was the only thing that mattered. The only thing he cared about.

  I swallowed down a lump in my throat.

  Right. Good to know.

  His eyes didn’t quite meet mine, and I was glad. I didn’t want him to see the hurt there or the tears that were starting to well up.

  He started to walk away, but he paused beside his bike. For a split second I thought maybe he was hesitating because he had something to say…because he didn’t want to end things like this.

  His gaze stayed fixed on the bike’s seat as if he’d never noticed the leather there before.

  No, he wasn’t going to take back what he’d said or try to make things right. He was just waiting for me to drive away first so I wouldn’t be hanging out in the parking lot alone.

  That was the kind of guy he was, which just made it that much harder to get in my car and drive away.

  But I did, and when I drove, I never looked back.

  Chapter Seventeen

  River

  “What do you mean you’re not going to the party tonight?”

  Tristan flinched. Okay, fine. Maybe that had come out a bit harsh. He held his hands up in defense as he helped me take the equipment into my family’s garage. He’d given me and the equipment a ride back from the game—a game which we lost, FYI.

  We lost to an inferior team, which made the loss all the harder to bear.

  “Dude, you need to chill,” Tristan said as I tossed the bag a little too hard, sending paint cans and yard tools flying.

  The clattering sound of cans against concrete made me freeze. Tristan was right. I definitely needed to chill. I’d been in a foul mood these past few days, ever since I’d watched my words make Hannah tear up.