A Family for Thanksgiving (Love Inspired)

by Patricia Davids

  Raking a hand through his hair, he glanced skyward. “Lord, please don’t do this to me. A little help would be a good thing right now. Send Mitzy a change of heart before she hits the highway, please.”

  Clay waited, but no Heavenly help appeared in the form of a remorseful nanny or anyone else. “Jesse is gonna kill me.”

  The crying from inside the house had risen in volume. With leaden feet, Clay climbed the steps. In the living room, he stared at the cribs where all three babies were now voicing their unhappiness.

  He desperately needed help. He had no idea how to reach Jesse. Clay remembered that Maya wasn’t at home so there was no use calling her. Turning around, he strode into the kitchen, located a phone book and breathed a sigh of relief when he found the number he was looking for.

  Dialing it, he held his breath as he waited for Nicki to pick up. Would she come?

  Chapter Seven

  Before Nicki could knock on the Logan homestead door it swung open. A very panicked-looking Clay held it wide. Relief washed over his face at the sight of her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. This has been the longest twenty minutes of my life.”

  “You’re welcome, but I’m only here because of the babies.” The last thing she needed was Clay thinking she’d come running whenever he called, but this definitely qualified as an emergency.

  She brushed past him and made a beeline for the living room. Setting Kasey down on the floor with a blanket and a plastic cup of dry cereal, Nicki went to the first crib.

  Clay, his hair mussed and a damp circle on his red, pearl-buttoned, Western shirt came to her side and gestured toward the occupant of the bed. “I tried to feed this one. I think it’s Madison. Anyway, she hardly took anything and then she went to sleep. Now, she’s fussing again. What’s wrong?”

  Nicki quickly check the diaper and found it dry. That wasn’t the problem. “How much formula did she take?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Turning around in a circle, he located the bottle and held it up to read the markings. “About a half an ounce.”

  “Then I imagine she’s still hungry.”

  Kasey hoisted herself to her feet and came to grab Nicki’s leg. Scowling she said, “Baby cry.”

  “Not for long,” Nicki assured her.

  Pointing to Clay, she said, “Take a seat and try feeding her again. I’ll see to the next one.”

  He held up both hands. “I’ve already made her throw up twice. I don’t think I should try it a third time.”

  “She probably threw up because her tummy is so full of air from crying. I can’t believe Mitzy Garnet just left you.”

  “You can’t believe it? You should have seen my face.”

  She glanced sideways at him and struggled to keep the laughter out of her voice. He still looked shell-shocked. “I might have paid money to see it.”

  “Oh, ha-ha! Some day I’ll take you out into the Canadian wilderness and drop you off without a clue how to find your way home. Then we’ll see how funny it is when the shoe is on the other foot.”

  Wrapping Madison snuggly in her blanket, Nicki picked her up, then pointed to the sofa. “Point taken. Now, sit. Feed her a little bit and then burp her. After that, you can feed her a little more.”

  “Okay, but if she pukes again—I’m done.”

  “Good grief, Clay. Babies spit up all the time. It’s no big deal.”

  His brow furrowed with doubt. “They do?”

  “Yes.” She handed Madison to him along with a burp cloth, then moved on to Brooke. Sasha had somehow fallen asleep again in spite of the noise her sisters were making.

  Nicki waited until Clay had taken a seat and then handed him the baby. “It works better if you sit her up on your lap.”

  “Why?”

  “It keeps them from spitting up because their stomach isn’t as scrunched.”

  “That kinda makes sense.”

  After watching to be sure Clay had Madison correctly positioned, Nicki turned her attention to Brooke. Within minutes, she had the second triplet swaddled and in her arms. Settling on the sofa beside Clay, Nicki began feeding her.

  “Will you listen to that,” he said in awe.

  Puzzled, Nicki looked at him. “Listen to what?”

  “Silence.” Clay’s relief was comical.

  Giggling, she cast a sidelong glance his way. He was smiling at her with such warmth that she felt it all the way to her toes.

  “Did I say thank you?” he asked sincerely.

  “A few times.”

  “You can’t begin to know how glad I was to see your face. Jesse is gonna think this is my fault. Maybe with you here he won’t blow a gasket.”

  “I’m sure he’ll understand when you explain.”

  “I’m not sure he’ll give me a chance.”

  The tone of his voice made her realize how worried he was about the coming confrontation with his sibling.

  She bit her lower lip as she battled a bout of indecision. The brothers’ personal relationship was none of her business. Dropping the subject might be a wise move on her part, but something in Clay’s demeanor wouldn’t let her brush off his concern.

  Nicki said softly, “You and Jesse must have had a pretty serious falling out to keep you away for so long.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Would it help to talk about it?”

  He looked away. “I don’t think so.”

  “Was it about me?” Nicki wasn’t sure why she needed to know. She shifted Brooke into a more comfortable position.

  After a brief hesitation, Clay admitted, “You were part of it.”

  “Only a part?”

  His eyes met hers. “I told you how my parents died, but I never told you the whole story. The night they were killed, Jesse caught me sneaking out of the house and tried to stop me. I blew him off and went with my friends anyway. That’s why he hasn’t been able to forgive me. If only I had listened to him.”

  “Oh, Clay.” She wanted to throw her arms around him and hold him close. He’d been living in a cloud of guilt for so long.

  He stared at the baby he held. “Are you sure I’m doing this right?”

  “I’m sure,” Nicki replied, giving him a chance to decide how much he wanted to share.

  Clay began speaking again after a few seconds. “When I got hauled in by the police the night of the prom and they told me Jesse was on his way, I was terrified something would happen to him, too. You have no idea how relieved I was when he walked in. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same way.”

  “You can’t know that.”

  “Let’s just say I’m a good guesser.”

  Nicki asked, “What happened after that?”

  “It was nearly dawn by the time he bailed me out. In the police station and on the ride back he barely spoke a word. When we got home, he went straight to the barn and started his chores. I could see how mad he was, but I followed him anyway. I wanted him to understand that I got into the fight because I was defending your honor.”

  “Although I don’t approve of fighting, I do appreciate the chivalrous gesture.”

  That pulled a small smile from him but it quickly faded. “One second Jesse was pitching hay to the horses and the next second he exploded. He said it wasn’t enough that my delinquent behavior led to Mom and Dad’s deaths, now I’d dragged your good name in the mud and destroyed your reputation. He wanted to know whose life I planned to ruin next.”

  Her heart ached to hear the pain in Clay’s voice. “People say things they don’t mean when they’re upset.”

  “He meant exactly what he said. I can still see the look in his eyes. He said if I wanted to live a self-centered, irresponsible existence I should do it where I couldn’t hurt anyone else he knew or cared about. That’s when I decided to leave.”

  Nicki understood what he must have been feeling. “Only the ones we love have the power to hurt us the most.”

  A far away look filled his eyes
. “Yeah. Only the ones we love.”

  “I still don’t understand why you didn’t call or write to me.”

  “How could I justify my behavior? The longer I stayed away the harder it became to face what a mistake I’d made. Then my pride took over and I couldn’t admit I’d been wrong to leave. In retrospect, I’m not sure I was wrong.”

  She frowned. “How can you say that?”

  “Don’t misunderstand me, I’m sorry for the pain I caused you and my family, but I think I needed to stumble and fall on a rough rocky road before I could begin to see the path God has laid out for me.”

  She remembered his bitter rants against her faith when they were young. “Are you on God’s path now?”

  Looking at her, he quirked one eyebrow. “That’s a question we all have to ask ourselves, isn’t it?”

  His gaze dropped to Madison. “Do you think I should burp her yet?”

  Nicki allowed him to change the subject. “Good idea. Let me show you how to do it with her sitting on your lap. It will save your shirts.”

  She demonstrated with Brooke how to support the baby’s chin and chest with one hand while gently rubbing her back. Clay fumbled a little but soon had Madison in the correct position. Madison showed her appreciation by belching loudly. A tiny amount of milk rolled out the corner of her mouth.

  Clay wiped the baby’s lips. “Are you sure this is okay?”

  Nicki smiled. “I’m sure.”

  “How did you learn this stuff?”

  “Lori and the other nurses at the hospital taught me how to do a lot of things when I took my first foster child home. He was an at risk preemie who needed a lot of care.”

  “Wasn’t it hard to take a baby home and then give him back?”

  “Of course it was hard, but I knew going into it that he wasn’t mine to keep.”

  “What will you do if you have to give up Kasey?”

  A chill settled around Nicki’s heart. “I don’t know. I try to tell myself that I’ll rejoice because it means she’s be reunited with her family.”

  “But the truth is…?” he prompted.

  She looked at Kasey playing at her feet and smiled sadly. “The truth is—it will break my heart into a million pieces.”

  Glancing at Clay through suddenly tear-filled eyes, Nicki knew he’d heard the catch in her voice. She looked down hoping he hadn’t seen the way her eyes misted over at the thought of losing Kasey.

  He said softly, “You love her. It’s easy to see you’re torn by that love. You want what’s best for her—even if that isn’t a life with you.”

  Meeting his gaze, Nicki realized the brash, reckless boy she’d known had changed in more ways than she’d given him credit for. He’d become an insightful man capable of understanding the feelings of others—a man willing to search for God’s message in his life.

  She pondered his transformation, but didn’t say anything as they finished feeding the two children. By the time Brooke and Madison were done with their bottles Sasha was awake. Nicki rose to her feet. “Miss Brooke here is still wide awake. Can you hold her while I take care of Sasha?”

  “If she doesn’t pull any funny stuff.”

  Chuckling, Nicki pressed Brooke into the crook of Clay’s left arm leaving the nervous-looking cowboy holding both girls. The picture was so cute she wished she had a camera to capture it for all time.

  A photo of Clay to replace the one I threw away.

  Ignoring the wistful thought, she picked up Sasha and carried her into the kitchen to fix her bottle. Kasey tagged along behind her.

  At the sink, Nicki filled a bowl with hot water and set the bottle of formula in to warm. The sound of a vehicle pulling up outside drew her attention to the window. Hoping it was Mitzy returning, Nicki pulled aside the curtain. It wasn’t the irresponsible young nanny.

  Letting the fabric drop back into place, Nicki walked to the living-room entrance. “Your brother is home.”

  Clay was grateful he had a few moments to brace himself before Jesse walked in. Looking down at the girls he held, Clay studied their delicate faces. He could see traces of Jesse in the arch of Madison’s brow and in Brooke’s nose.

  Did they look like their mother? He had no way of knowing. He’d never met her. He’d never even seen a picture of her. Knowing he had only himself to blame for the lapse didn’t make it any easier to face his brother.

  When Jesse walked in, he stopped short at the sight of Clay. His eyes widened in astonishment.

  The changes in Jesse weren’t nearly as dramatic as the changes in their sister, but Clay could see them. There were a few fine lines at the corners of his eyes that hadn’t been there before. He looked older and he looked tired—as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.

  Clay managed a nervous half smile. “Hi.”

  For an instant, he thought he saw joy in Jesse’s eyes. The fleeting emotion vanished to be replaced by a carefully guarded expression. “Hi.”

  They simply stared at each other for several long seconds, then Jesse asked, “What are you doing here?”

  Clay tucked his disappointment deep inside. It had been too much to hope that his brother would greet him the way Maya had. “I decided it was past time for a visit.”

  Jesse’s jaw worked as he struggled with some deep emotion, but he didn’t reply. Finally, he noticed Nicki standing by the kitchen door.

  She lifted her hand in a brief wave. “Hello.”

  “Hi.” Jesse looked more confused by the minute.

  Nicki glanced between the two men. “I’m going to take Sasha to the bedroom and feed her if that’s okay with you, Jesse.”

  “That’s fine.”

  Nicki ducked back into the kitchen and returned with a bottle before heading off down the hall shepherding Kasey in front of her.

  Jesse turned to Clay. “Where’s Mitzy?”

  “She sorta took off,” Clay answered, waiting for the explosion.

  Jesse’s expression changed to a deep scowl. “What do you mean? Why’d she leave?”

  Clay struggled to rise from the sofa. It proved difficult with a baby in each arm. “I assume she went home, but that’s just a guess on my part. She said she was late for a date.”

  Jesse’s eyebrows shot up. “She took off? She just left my daughters with you?”

  Clay finally managed to gain his feet. “She seemed overwhelmed and upset. I heard her say she’d see you in the morning.”

  “I had my doubts about her, but I needed to find someone quickly. She’s the fourth nanny so far.” Jesse’s voice trailed off.

  Then he seemed to gather himself. He stepped forward, took Brooke from Clay and carried her to her basinet. “How long are you planning on staying?”

  “I want to be back for good, Jesse.” Admitting it aloud for the first time made it seem possible.

  “I hope you aren’t thinking you can just move into your old room. I’ve already got a full house.”

  “So I see.”

  Clay walked to Jesse’s side and laid Madison in her bed. As he watched his brother tenderly tuck the girls in, Clay found the words he’d been wanting to say. “I’m really sorry about Marie.”

  Jesse stiffened. “Thanks.”

  “I should have come back then.”

  “It wouldn’t have made any difference.”

  “I know, but you deserved at least that much respect from me.”

  “That’s big of you,” Jesse countered dryly.

  Same old Jesse. Clay had a hard time biting back a retort. Determined not to be the same smart-mouthed kid who’d so often goaded his brother into a slug fest, Clay turned the proverbial other cheek. “You’ve done a good job with the place. I had to look hard to see where the storm damage was.”

  “It took out part of the kitchen wall and roof.” Jesse turned away from his now-sleeping daughters and walked into the kitchen.

  Clay followed with a glimmer of hope in his heart. It hadn’t been a stellar welcome, but at least Jesse hadn’t
run him off the ranch. Maybe with a little more time they could mend their relationship.

  Jesse motioned toward the outer wall. “I replaced the window and patched up the wall and roof but some things were destroyed beyond repair.”

  Letting his eyes rover over the walls, Clay realized what was missing. “Grandmother’s shadow box is gone.”

  “I found it about a hundred yards out in the pasture smashed to pieces.”

  Clay came to stand at his brother’s side. “What about her treasures?”

  Grandmother’s treasures had been a collection of mementos from all the generations of Logans who’d lived on the ranch. A silver baby spoon, a worn thimble, a small glass horse, dozens of items proudly displayed in a box lovingly crafted by her husband.

  “I found a couple of pieces,” Jesse said, “but not many. I put them away in my office for safekeeping. I want the girls to have them one day.”

  Clay pressed his hand against the wall. “Remember how we’d pull our chairs up in front of the box and rearrange all the items.”

  “You always wanted the little black glass horse to go on top.”

  “And you thought the tin type of great-great—how many greats back was Grandpa William? Anyway, you wanted him to go in that spot.”

  Jesse folded his arms. “William Logan came West and started this ranch from nothing. He and Zeb Garrison founded the town of High Plains. He belonged on top.”

  Clay held up one finger. “Yes, but he rode in on a horse.”

  Jesse shook his head in disgust. “You haven’t changed. Everything’s still a joke to you.”

  “Not everything.” Reconciling with Jesse wasn’t a joke but Clay could see it wasn’t going to be easy. When Jesse made up his mind he seldom changed it, and he’d made up his mind years ago that his younger brother was just about worthless.

  “Do you mind if I take a look around the place?” Clay asked.

  “Suit yourself. In case you’ve forgotten, a third of the ranch still belongs to you. Don’t worry, I’ve been paying the taxes, managing the cattle, doing the upkeep on the house and outbuilding. If something doesn’t suit your taste, just let me know.”