ShouldveKnownBetter

by Cassandra Carr

  He tore away. “Enough! It feels too good. I need to be inside you. I can’t wait.”

  Sarah rolled to the side and Sebastian sat up, grabbing for his jeans before fishing a condom out of the pocket. He pulled Sarah onto the couch then straddled her, leaning back to put on the condom.

  His fingers wouldn’t cooperate and it took forever to get the damn package open. Cursing himself, he rolled the condom down his length. With that task completed, he lowered himself on top of her, keeping one foot on the ground to bear some of his weight. “Am I hurting you?”

  Sarah shook her head with a smile and pulled him closer. He had never needed anyone or anything like he needed her at that moment. “Now,” she choked out.

  He entered her in one quick motion, his heart beating a staccato inside his chest as he grunted from the sheer force of his desire. He was finally one with Sarah. Trying his best to give her pleasure before taking his own, Sebastian dragged his length back and forth inside her with measured thrusts, and she tightened a little more around him with each stroke.

  He threw his head back as the sensations became almost too much for him to handle. But he kept pressing deeper and deeper, stretching her taut until her flesh throbbed violently around him, clenching to keep him buried deep, and he let out his own strangled cry as Sarah’s release went on.

  When she finally calmed down, he said, “Don’t move.” He was too close to the knife’s edge of control.

  Sebastian gripped her hips in pure desperation as she stroked his arms in a soothing motion. After a moment of silence with his eyes closed and a couple of hard squeezes at the base of his erection, he swallowed hard and opened his eyes. “That was close. I didn’t want to come yet.”

  “You’re young. You’ll recover.” Sarah said with a wicked smile, moving under him again. Her eyes were heavily hooded and black with lust as he feasted on her pearly-white breasts with a fiery absorption.

  Matching her movements, he grabbed her knees, pulling them over his elbows and levering her up for a deeper fit before thrusting harder. He took possession of her mouth just like he was taking possession of her body, spearing his tongue in and out in time with his thrusts.

  Sebastian was losing all contact with reality as her muscles tightened around him again. Then they both lost control, gasping from the onslaught of sensation. Sarah clawed at his back as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him, building to a blinding, nerve-rattling summit.

  He collapsed on top of her, breathing hard.

  After a minute, his breathing returned to normal, though Sarah was still gulping for air. He lifted his head and grinned. “Why the hell did we wait to do that?”

  She giggled and shrugged.

  “You know I’m going to want you again as soon as I recover, right? I’m not even close to done with you. Now I need to go take care of something.” He stole one last kiss from her. She released him with obvious reluctance, and Sebastian was even more confident they’d done the right thing.

  After disposing of the condom, he ambled back into the living room and found Sarah sitting up. He wasted no time pulling her on top of him as he stretched out as much as he could on her small couch. With a smirk, he said, “You left nail marks on my back. I checked in the mirror. How do I explain those to the boys tomorrow?”

  Sarah groaned as a blush crept up from her neck. “I didn’t even think about it. As for how to explain the marks, I have no idea. Maybe you can say you had a bad itch and you scratched it too hard.”

  He took up the mantle of her lame attempt at humor. “Yeah, they’ll buy that, ma fille idiote. Maybe I can tell them I was attacked by a cat.” Sebastian laughed, pulling her in for another kiss, cradling her cheeks as he did so and marveling at how small and delicate her features were compared to his large, rough hands.

  Chapter Twelve

  Christmas was fast approaching, and Sebastian and Sarah took every opportunity to sneak away for a few stolen moments of passion. They were on a four-day road trip, the last one before the holiday break, and for most of the trip they were limited to late-night sessions in Sarah’s room. In some ways, the time constraint was exciting and their lovemaking was positively frantic, so crazy and hot.

  Sarah didn’t think they were concealing their budding relationship very well, but Sebastian assured her no one had questioned him about it, and since no one had approached her either, it appeared for now, they were in the clear. She hated sneaking around. Guilt and shame were her constant companions. Being dishonest with everyone they worked with stressed her out, but then she was in Sebastian’s arms again and nothing else mattered.

  Soon after coming back to Buffalo, Sebastian was evasive about his plans for the day and Sarah was left feeling out of sorts. He’d never acted so strange before, even when they were still dancing around each other, and it worried her. It wasn’t like him not to be open and honest.

  Was the strain of sneaking around weighing him down even though he’d never given any indication of that? Their relationship had hardly begun, yet she didn’t want to end it. They’d fought so hard against it for so long.

  After stewing all afternoon she fell asleep on the couch, fighting a pounding headache. When the phone rang some time later, she jerked upright, disoriented. She answered it with a scratchy, groggy voice. “Hello?”

  “Hi, ma belle, it’s me,” Sebastian said.

  “Hi.” Her head pounded and all the suspicions and insecurities from earlier came flooding back, which didn’t help.

  “Are you all right? You sound funny.”

  “What time is it?” Sarah asked, trying to tell the time on her watch through the haze of sleep. She didn’t remember having a nightmare, but couldn’t shake the grogginess. Her stomach pitched.

  “It’s eight. Were you sleeping? Are you all right, ma belle? I’m coming over.” Before Sarah could say anything more, he hung up.

  Sarah pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it. What had just happened? He and Rob lived not ten minutes from her, so it wouldn’t take long to drive to her house. She got up and took some ibuprofen then curled up on the couch again.

  Sebastian had a key and Sarah soon heard it turn in the door. The fear he might break up with her flashed through her mind again, even though he’d sounded fine and happy on the phone, and her heart sank. Shaking her head to clear it, she tried to wake up, but her head was still pounding and she couldn’t concentrate.

  Sebastian came in and plunked himself down on the coffee table. “You look very, ah, what is the word, yes, pale. Are you sick?” He put his hand on her forehead. “You don’t feel hot.”

  “I’m not sick,” she mumbled, unable to raise her gaze, not wanting to admit she’d had a totally irrational reaction to his behavior that day.

  “Then what’s going on?” Sebastian lifted her chin to force her to look at him. “You are not still obsessing about how everyone knows, are you? They don’t.”

  “No, well, yes, but that’s only part of it.” Knowing she needed to get the worry off her chest, she stammered, “Wh-where were you today?”

  Sebastian smiled. “I forced Rob to follow me all over town while I searched for a Christmas present for you.”

  Relief flooded her. “A Christmas present?”

  He wrinkled his nose and kissed her lightly. “Do you think I wouldn’t get mon petite amie a present?” It was the first time he had called her his girlfriend, and she grinned. “What’s the smile for?” One eyebrow rose, and she couldn’t believe the combination of sexy and yet boyish Sebastian managed to pull off.

  “You never called me your girlfriend before,” she whispered, leaning over to put her head on his shoulder. “I’d be even happier about that if I didn’t have this pounding headache.”

  Sebastian laid her back on the couch, his large hands managing to still be gentle, and she sank into the pillows with a pleased sigh. He wasn’t going to leave her. “Just relax, ma belle. Have you eaten?”

  “No, not since breakfast,” she
admitted, massaging her aching head with her hands.

  “Well, that would make you sick. Why haven’t you eaten? Is there something going on you’re not telling me?”

  She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment. “I was afraid when you acted all weird and left after practice without saying much you were getting spooked and trying to figure out how to dump me.” She sounded so pathetically insecure and it disgusted her.

  He’d pursued her for months, and since they’d gotten together, he’d never given her even a glimmer of a reason to doubt him. Sebastian’s expression belied both surprise and horror. He scooted next to her on the couch and his hand slid down the side of her face, caressing her cheek.

  It was amazing how he touched her, as if she was the only woman in the world. No one had ever affected her that way.

  “Oh, ma belle, I am sorry. I didn’t realize…” He trailed off and then lifted her, hugging her tightly to him. “Mon Dieu, I can see why you have a headache. Your muscles are all in knots. I hate that I did this to you.” He used his strong fingers to massage her, pushing and pulling her aching muscles, all the while sending small kisses down her jaw line and speaking softly to her in French.

  “You didn’t do anything. I’m just paranoid,” Sarah replied, resting her face in the crook of his neck so he wouldn’t see her embarrassment. Why couldn’t she learn to trust anyone?

  “Lie down. I’ll make you some food, and then I will rub your back some more.”

  He went into the kitchen and she heard him rummaging through the fridge, muttering to himself in French. Her heart swelled, and for the first time it occurred to her there was more to their relationship than she’d intended. She curled into the fetal position, relieved he didn’t want to end the relationship, but also scared of how much she needed him. In their short acquaintance she had come to depend on him for both her physical and emotional well-being.

  By the time he brought back some leftovers he’d heated up, she had fallen fast asleep again. He gently shook her awake and told her to eat, watching until she finished every bite.

  “Good, now roll over so I can rub your back.” He snapped his fingers. “I’ve got this great stuff in the car. Colby gave it to me for that quad pull. I will go get it.” Throwing on his coat, he ran outside. A few moments later, he returned with the ointment.

  After helping her out of the bulky sweatshirt she’d thrown on earlier, Sebastian applied the balm. Sarah lay passively, letting him work out the knots one by one and relaxing by degrees until she feared she was becoming one with the couch cushions.

  “That’s better,” he murmured. “Now let’s get you to bed.”

  He started to pick her up, and she protested. “I can walk. You’ll hurt yourself.”

  Sebastian scoffed. “Ma belle, I bench two hundred fifty pounds for twenty reps three times a week. A tiny thing like you is not going to hurt me. Je suis un homme grand et fort.”

  Sarah laughed as he described himself as a big, strong man. He flexed the corded muscle in his arms, his flesh stretching over them. Before she knew what was happening, he’d lifted her. Without even a hitch of breath Sebastian carried her up the stairs. After setting her on the bed, he grabbed a pair of pajamas out of her dresser. Sarah noted how comfortable he was in her bedroom, and a contented sigh escaped before she could stop it. She could get used to treatment like this.

  Sarah was much improved after eating, yet was still so tired. The endless road trips had wreaked havoc on her body, and the odd schedule of traveling, eating, and sleeping had caught up with her. Without protest she let Sebastian help her put on her pajamas before he drew back the covers and tucked her into bed.

  “You’re not staying?”

  Sebastian shook his head with a small smile, his eyes full of genuine concern and something else she couldn’t quite grasp. “You need your rest, and you won’t get that with me here since I find it impossible not to touch you. I’ll see you tomorrow at practice, ma belle.” Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. “Oh, and if you haven’t gotten me a present yet, there are still a few shopping days left until Christmas.”

  He grinned like a little kid and she was struck again by how young he was and yet how much she wanted him. “I got you something already, and if you’re not staying to keep me warm, then leave me alone so I can sleep.”

  Sebastian chuckled, placed another kiss on her forehead and then left the room.

  Sarah slept like a rock that night.

  ****

  Since Sarah was planning to drive home to Rochester to see her family on Christmas Eve, Sebastian came over to Sarah’s house the night before so they could exchange presents. “Bonsoir, mon bébé,” he said as she opened the door.

  Seeing no evidence of a present, she regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

  He laughed and patted his winter jacket’s pocket. “It’s right here. Do you think I’d forget?” Sebastian closed the door behind him then reached for her, pulling her against the rock-hard planes of his body and palming the back of her head as he pressed into her mouth.

  Finally letting her up for air, he backed away and grinned. “So where is mine?”

  Sarah had spent a considerable amount of time online, culling through dozens of websites for something suitable, but what do you get a guy who makes boatloads of cash and can buy whatever he has a whim for in the mere blink of his eye? She’d ended up consulting with Rob out of desperation, and he told her Sebastian had been admiring his silver chain and talking about replacing the one he currently wore. With a minimum of grumbling, Rob had taken off his chain and lent it to her so she could search for something comparable.

  Sarah was forever trying to get Sebastian and the other guys to take their chains off for games, afraid an opposing player would grab it or it would be accidentally pulled and choke them. Sebastian, like most hockey players, was superstitious and refused. She didn’t see how it could be comfortable to fly all over the ice with it banging around his neck, but she tried to let it go.

  Sarah and Sebastian sat down on the floor by the tree and he reached into his jacket, pulling out a very small square box while Sarah dug his present out from the mountain under her tree. As usual, she’d gone overboard with Christmas gifts because she didn’t try to see her family more often. Once she unearthed his gift, they handed the presents to each other.

  “Open yours first,” Sebastian urged and she laughed at his enthusiastic tone.

  After tearing off the ribbon, she opened the box to reveal another small velvet box. She took that box out, her pulse racing that it might be an engagement ring. Chiding herself for her foolishness, she opened it and discovered the biggest pair of diamond earrings she’d ever seen in person. The gorgeous stones reflected the light in hundreds of facets and she gasped. She’d never seen something so beautiful.

  “Do you like them?” At first, Sebastian wore an uncertain expression, but his green eyes twinkled with merriment as she gaped at them then at him.

  “Well, duh, what woman wouldn’t like diamond earrings? But Sebastian, they’re too much. I can’t let you spend your money on me like this.”

  “What else am I going to spend my money on? Besides, I like buying pretty things for you, mon coeur. Put them on.” She’d never convince him to take them back, so she put the studs in her ears as he beamed. Reaching over, Sebastian tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. “That’s better. Beautiful jewelry for a beautiful girl.”

  She laughed. “I’m hardly a girl, but thank you. I love them and they are absolutely stunning, thank you. I’ll have to save them for special occasions. I’d be afraid of getting mugged if I wore them every day.”

  “I want you to wear them to the New Year’s party after Tux ‘n’ Pucks. It’s black tie.”

  Tux ‘n’ Pucks was an annual event the Storm held in conjunction with a local tuxedo shop. The tickets were sold in pairs through the tux store and came with a free rental. A lot of the women dressed in formal gowns, and both men and women often w
ore Storm jerseys over their finery. It was quite an interestingly attired crowd for a hockey game, from what Sarah had heard. The team held a party after the game in the arena’s private party area.

  She handed him a long, slim package. “Now you.”

  He pulled the wrapping paper off in one quick motion and his eyebrows shot up. Cracking open the box, he saw the chain and laughed. “You talked to Rob, eh?”

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is to buy a present for someone who has everything? Do you like it? You can return it for a different one if you don’t. I tried to find one similar to Rob’s. I even made him give me his chain so I could compare it to the ones in the stores.” She wasn’t sure why she was babbling, but for some reason it was crucially important he like her gift.

  After removing his other chain, he immediately put on the new one. “It’s perfect, thank you.” He leaned over to kiss her. He deepened the kiss, pushing her down to the floor, and Sarah had to bat him away.

  They’d agreed to pick up Rob to gamble at the casino in Niagara Falls, Ontario. “We have to go.”

  “Fine, but we’re coming back here later. I want another present, if you know what I mean.” He waggled his eyebrows, and she shook her head.

  “You’re incorrigible.” She wasn’t actually exasperated. Truth be told, having a smoking hot guy constantly lusting after her was a great ego boost, and she could definitely use one of those.

  “If incorrigible means very handsome, then sure, I am incorrigible. You use a lot of big words, you know.”

  She laughed. He’d been in the States for a while now and surely knew more English than he let on sometimes. Sarah was pretty sure he just liked to tease a reaction out of her. Good thing she was willing to play along. “I’ll try to use smaller ones.”

  “I like, ‘yes, Sebastian,’ and ‘oh God, Sebastian’ myself.”

  She smacked him and he laughed.