by Carol Oates
Wow. He smiled. Please try to stay calm; I’m having enough trouble containing myself. He chuckled quietly. Would you like to hear more? My forehead creased, and I pursed my lips, considering his question, not sure if my mind could stay focused on the story with his body so close.
After a moment, I took a breath to steady my racing heart and wrapped myself to his chest again.
Please, more. I always thought Atlantis sank into the ocean. I ran my fingers across his stomach, exploring his silken skin.
Triona, he groaned sexily, his body tensing.
Sorry, I said sheepishly as I moved my hand from his stomach.
His body relaxed, and he stroked my hair, twisting it through his fingers as he went on. The sinking of Atlantis was only ever symbolism for the humans rising, the destruction of the perfect society, and the Tuatha DÈ Danann’s banishment underground.
Oh, I murmured into his skin.
Their leader, Dagda, led them into the mountains, and they became known as Duine Sidhe, people of the hills. The humans grew more fearful with the passage of time. It broke the hearts of the DÈ Danann. He gave another squeeze. You probably know a lot of the stories from here on — I remembered some of the stories he’d told me during our time together.
The legends said that the people of the hills were beautiful, magical creatures, but if threatened, they could turn terrible and hideous. My mind flashed back to slashing at Caleb with my nails. My rage had been so fierce; I couldn’t allow it ever to take control of me like that again.
Fairies, to the modern human, he added.
I giggled at how ridiculous it all sounded, thinking of Caleb as a fairy.
The female of the DÈ Danann still wailed and cried in torment when the death of a human approached. They still considered them children, they were called Bean Sidhe, and that’s where the tales of the banshee began. It seems it’s human nature to destroy what they don’t understand or fear, and over the centuries we have been rounded up and murdered, using cover-ups of legends and tales of the supernatural and evil powers. In the seventeenth century, it was the witch trials. In the eighteenth century, the vampire craze I once told you about swept Europe, beginning in Serbia. He shot me a weak smile, sensing my unease. His expression was strained; the sad history of his people was clearly a difficult subject for him. Still he continued.
They were both culls of our race.
My heart gave a little flutter when he said our race.
Now our numbers are small, and we live a more or less nomadic existence, traveling place to place. We have a council of leaders; they decided centuries ago to make the law against mating with humans. Most are afraid of our bloods mixing and that more powerful humans would finish us off completely.
I sighed, understanding more the fear that drove Seth. A wave of guilt threatened to drown me. Seth had been wrong; I wasn’t human, but it was too late. Caleb sensed this and hugged me tightly. I clung to him, refusing to release my grip.
I’m so, so sorry, I mumbled against his skin, but the words seemed inadequate.
There was no way for us to know. Do you think I could have left you if I had known you were one of us? The anguish animating his face was mesmerizing. I was trying to protect you. He paused and then continued.
We have records. The Council knows the bloodline of every Guardian living, but there is nothing about you in them, or any of your family, and believe me I checked, once you began to awaken.
Ben? I asked, looking at Caleb for confirmation.
Yes, him too.
I heard a door open and footsteps heading to the kitchen.
What will you tell her? he asked.
I wasn’t sure what I was allowed to tell my best friend, and I wasn’t sure she would believe me if I could explain it. Morning, Amanda, I’m a secret descendant from the lost people of Atlantis. I’ll think of something, I choked, getting out of bed. I stopped with my hand on the door and turned to him lying in my bed with his hands behind his head. Don’t go anywhere. Instantly he was beside me. Could I move so swiftly? His hand was already stroking my face.
I’m not going anywhere without you, he promised.
I sighed. I have so many questions. There’s still so much I don’t understand about you, about us.
He kissed me tenderly on my cheek and held me to him. I will tell you everything I know. There are some things I still don’t understand myself, but I will do whatever I have to to find the answers. I pulled away from him and looked at his face; he was still troubled despite his reassuring words.
There’s a sweatshirt that belongs to you in a box on the floor at the back of the wardrobe. You should put it on if you want me to think straight, I told him, smiling, and then headed toward the kitchen.
Amanda had her back to me as she took some juice from the fridge. She was wearing a T-shirt and sweats, and I thought I recognized the T-shirt as Ben’s. I glanced at the clock before sitting down at the small table. It was just past five a.m.
Can you get me a juice too, please?
She glanced over her shoulder and then spun completely to face me with the carton still in her hand.
Whoa, Triona, what did you do to yourself? she exclaimed before turning back to pour the juice.
It was too much to ask that she wouldn’t notice the changes in me, but she was surprisingly calm.
Nothing much, I replied nervously. How come you’re up so early? She sat down in the seat opposite mine, examining my features, taking in every detail. I haven’t been to bed yet. I came home two hours ago, and I’ve been checking e-mails.
Oh, I replied, genuinely surprised. I took a sip of the juice. It tasted thick and syrupy concentrate. I wouldn’t have noticed before.
She was scrutinizing me with tightened eyes. You look great. Glowing almost. Nice tan. What brand is it?
I almost laughed; she presumed I’d had a makeover, instead of being transformed into an almost immortal supernatural being.
Ah, I’m not sure, I stuttered.
Are you wearing contacts? she probed, playing with her glass.
No, I answered a little too quickly, lowering my eyes. I wanted a quick chat if you’re not too tired. It really can’t wait. I kept my eyes on the table.
Well, I thought I heard voices, she said. About time too.
What? I asked, looking up at her again. She wasn’t looking at me, her eyes were on her glass, and she absentmindedly played with a few strands of blond hair by her cheek.
John’s a great guy. You could do worse.
There was a loud, sudden crash from the direction of my bedroom.
What’s that? she shouted, leaping from her seat.
I jumped up and blocked her, surprised by my own speed, though Amanda seemed oblivious to it. It’s nothing, I said unconvincingly, wondering what Caleb had broken.
She sat back down and looked at me quizzically, using her two hands to tuck her hair behind her ears. What’s going on, Triona?
I was about to ask you the same thing, I replied avoiding her question.
The T-shirt? It was definitely Ben’s.
She looked down, shamefaced. Right, she sighed. You noticed. I took a long gulp of the juice, still dehydrated from crying. It’s not just the shirt, I said. Ben was on the phone earlier. She lifted her face, excitement in her eyes, and it suddenly became obvious to me.
So how long have you two been involved? I asked, smiling.
Amanda seemed a little startled at first and then admitted, Since the last year of school.
I think my mouth opened in shock that made it almost two years!
Amanda continued, apparently not noticing my surprise. We were friends, then we just seemed to click, but we were just friends in the beginning —
All the times he knew what was going on with Caleb and me? When he was spending so much time with us? I interrupted.
She squirmed in her seat. Sorry, she confessed. Really, Caleb was the reason we didn’t tell you everything sooner.
Excuse me?
We didn’t want to rub it in your face when Caleb died that we were — in love. Then when you started talking about coming here — She sighed. We decided one of us would come to keep an eye on you, and you wouldn’t have let either of us if you knew.
I thought about Caleb in my bed upstairs and felt an overwhelming rush of guilt. All their sacrifices for me, and there had been no reason for it.
I’m sorry. I traced imaginary circles with my finger on the table. I had no idea, really.
It doesn’t matter now. Her voice broke, and she rubbed her finger across one eye smearing mascara. I think it’s over. I haven’t heard from him in a while.
No. I reached across the table to her hand. When my hand touched hers, she looked up at me, not shocked or afraid, but like she was determining something in her head. He said you shouldn’t worry, I continued, trying to comfort her. He’s going through some stuff at the moment, but he loves you, I’m sure of it. I could hear the honestly in my own voice.
Her face became strained. Is he in trouble?
No, he just — I paused, unsure how much I could explain honestly.
I just need you to trust me for a bit. I’m not really sure about some stuff myself at the moment.
She pulled her hand away and tilted her head to one side. You’re different. I can’t put my finger on it. She studied my face. You look — She didn’t finish but her eyes widened slightly, and she stood up and walked to the counter. Tell me, Triona, she demanded in a firm voice.
I couldn’t tell her about Ben. I wasn’t sure if I’d be putting her life in danger, and that wasn’t my decision to make.
It’s not John upstairs, I informed her, changing the subject. It’s Caleb. She stood with her back to the counter and her hands resting on it behind her. Triona, she sighed, looking at me with pity. She clearly thought I’d finally lost my mind.
No, really, it was a mistake, I insisted. He didn’t die in the fire. Her nose wrinkled, looking at my desperate face. I turned my seat so that I was still sitting but could face her direction.
Triona, I’m not sure what to say to that, she sympathized.
I looked at the floor, trying to think of an explanation. He was — he was —
In witness protection, Caleb interjected from behind us.
Damn, why hadn’t I thought of that? Amanda staggered, her hands at her back, holding her.
What the she yelled, stunned.
I stood quickly and went to her side, supporting her. Caleb was wearing the sweatshirt he’d given me to wear home the night Chris ripped my shirt.
Amanda lunged for him, but I caught her solidly by the arm.
How could you do that? she demanded furiously. How could you? Caleb took a step back, surprised. I had no choice, I assure you. I had to protect Triona.
The anger was rolling off Amanda in waves. So you just ran off and left us to pick up the pieces, she spat at him.
Her remark seemed to cut him deeply, and he winced. I’m sorry for everything, I really am. Believe me if there had been another way — I held firmly to Amanda’s arm and could feel the blood pump through it. She looked at me, horrified.
And you, you’re just going to take him back? Just like that, after everything you went through?
I glanced down to the floor, and then looking at Caleb, I whispered.
Yes, I love him, and I believe he did what he had to. I was thinking about Ben and how hurt she would be soon.
Her anger seemed to ebb a little, and I released her arm, but she continued to glare at Caleb.
What about John?
What about him? My tone was guarded. I never made him any promises.
I could feel Caleb’s eyes on me. I knew I would have to face John eventually, and he would be hurt. It was the last thing I wanted, but there were other things I had to figure out first.
Well, she said, defeated. If it’s what you want. But I can’t see Ben being impress
He’ll understand, I interjected.
She took a step closer to Caleb and asked harshly. Are you back for good? Is whatever it was and I don’t want to know She raised both her hands, palms facing him. is it sorted?
I’m here to stay, Caleb replied firmly.
She took another step toward him. You’d better be, she warned with tightened eyes.
My heart overflowed with love for Amanda at that moment, facing up to Caleb in my defense a Guardian who could knock her down with one flick of his wrist. She turned back to me.
As long as you’re happy. She lowered her eyes. If you talk to Ben, can you please tell him to call me? I don’t care what the problem is, we can figure it out.
Yes, I replied softly, knowing I was lying, I couldn’t promise anything about her and Ben at the moment.
Amanda walked toward me and embraced me warmly. I hesitated, afraid she would notice with close contact the difference in me. She didn’t, or if she did she didn’t show it.
You look great, you really do. It’s obvious he’s what you need, she expressed affectionately.
She thought I was so alive, so different, because of Caleb’s return and not that his return was because I was different. I hugged her back. She pulled away first.
I’m going to try to get some sleep, she murmured, leaving a wide space between herself and Caleb as she walked past him.
We’ll be away for a few days, Caleb informed her hesitantly.
Oh, she replied vaguely, showing no interest in Caleb’s announcement.
He continued, regardless. I’m taking Triona to see my family. She shrugged but made no verbal response. I watched her walk up the stairs, my heart full of pity for the girl that my brother loved. I looked at Caleb, my eyes pricking with tears. He wrapped himself around me quickly.
I will fix everything, he whispered softly into my hair. He held me tighter. I don’t know how yet, but I will.
Chapter 11
Family
Caleb thought it might be easier on Amanda if we weren’t around her until we figured out why there was no trace of my family in the Guardians records. I knew the real problem would come later for her and Ben, a Guardian in love with a human. I argued about leaving her, but Caleb assured me it was safer for her this way. I resented the Council more than words could say; humans may no longer be their family, but they were still mine.
The sun was high when we arrived in an exclusive-looking residential area in the city of Oxford, north of London, best known for its prestigious college. I remembered that Caleb told me his father worked in many colleges across the world, and I wondered if it was the reason they lived here or if it was to be near Caleb and me. On a quiet tree-lined street, enormous wooden entrance gates opened slowly, allowing us to enter a small courtyard, completely hidden behind gray brick walls. My stomach was churning all the way here, and as the gates opened up, I began to feel sick. Caleb reached over and took my hand, examining my face.
What is it?
I gulped far too loudly. They must hate me, your parents, I stuttered, my panic rising with each passing second.
He sighed, brushing a stray hair from my face. My parents don’t blame you for — they blame Seth. He said Seth’s name with such viciousness that I caught my breath. He parked in a carport beside the Porsche Boxter he drove in Camden. To the far side of that there was a silver Prius and a red BMW.
You kept the Porsche?
Of course. He grinned. It has sentimental value. It reminds me of the night we met. You refused to allow me to escort you home and reduced me to following you. I felt like such a stalker that night. I half smiled, recalling how I’d felt like the crazy person. It seemed a lifetime ago, and I wondered if he’d thought of himself that way all the times I’d sensed him near since then.
Caleb held my door open, allowing me to climb down, and he sniggered light-heartedly at my efforts. I scowled at his innocent expression before he kissed me gently, making the blood rush under my skin. Taking my hand, he led me to the doorway.
The sun glistened off
the copper roof of the single-story house. The front door was dark wood with a glass-paneled wall on either side that led into a bright hallway. Huge skylights flooded the interior with natural light. I could see all the way to a courtyard garden at the back. Caleb urged me forward past a metal and wooden stairwell to a lower floor before we arrived at the sitting room.
Caleb winked at me, placing his hand on my lower back and leading me further in. It was an imposing room, a series of flat walls roughly plastered and connected by thick, weather-beaten wooden beams running up the walls and meeting at center of a domed ceiling. Two wide, plain-glass doors pulled back, bringing the garden into the room. Wooden garden furniture adorned the graveled patio and lawn area. An internal arched doorway opened into a kitchen complete with every modern convenience known to man. The colors were light, and there didn’t seem to be much unnecessary furniture, just the two large over-sized couches, an enormous dark wooden cabinet, and a fireplace set into the wall.
An extremely handsome man with dark hair and dazzling blue eyes entered from a doorway I hadn’t noticed. His features matched Caleb’s.
Despite his height and sturdy frame, he moved elegantly across the room.
Without thinking, I ducked behind Caleb, holding tightly to his arm with both my hands like a small child, and peeking out from behind his back.
The man’s expression stayed calm while his eyes scrutinized me; they were truly breathtaking, the exact shade of Caleb’s. They held a youthful glint and a kindness that reminded me of Lewis but at the same time were depthless, as if he held countless secrets behind them. My heart raced uncontrollably. I heard Caleb sigh; he reached around to pull me to his side again, and immediately I felt foolish.
Triona, this is my father, Samuel Wallace.
Samuel put his hand out hesitantly, apparently in an attempt not to intimidate me further. He looked no more than in his mid-thirties. Embarrassed, I shook his hand timidly. I’m very pleased to meet you, sir. I sounded too formal.
He laughed. I’m very pleased to meet you too — at last. His sincere expression put me a little more at ease.
