Falling Snow

by Graysen Morgen

  She drank the rest of the bourbon in her glass hoping it would chase away the stolen images of Adler’s sexy, slender body and six pack abs. Her mind was stuck on one in particular of Adler in her light blue satin bra, a pair of light grey ski pants slung low on her hips and black snowboard boots. That incredibly hot look was forever burned into her mind she was sure of it. She knew Adler caught her looking when she casually paused and that lazy smile spread across her face making her look even sexier. She was sure she would die of either internal combustion or sensory overload soon. Thankfully, she was leaving in just over two weeks. She would leave Adler Troy behind and go home.

  Nineteen

  Cason’s last two weeks in Aspen were flying by. Adler was gone to Canada for two separate competitions and wouldn’t be back until a couple days before she had to leave. The hospital wasn’t busy, but she a few skiing accidents and car accidents that at least gave her something to do. Serena found herself on a different schedule again, by coincidence this time, Cason didn’t mind however. The peace and quiet was kind of nice. She was actually kind of glad Adler was out of town, she was getting dangerously close to her.

  “Dr. Macauley.” One of the nurses called her name. Cason was sitting on the leather couch in the doctor’s lounge watching the clock tick by.

  “What’s up?” She said as she stood and stretched.

  “We have a downed skier coming in. Looks like a young male with possible head and neck injuries. He’s coming in by helicopter.”

  Cason ran passed her towards the elevator. “Tell Dr. Smith I’ll be on the roof.” She yelled back.

  When the chopper arrived Cason ran through the double doors with only a pair of scrubs, and an under shirt, and sneakers on. Her adrenaline level was sky high and she never felt the bitter cold stinging her face and hands from the wind of the rotor blades.

  “Seventeen year old male crashed into a tree head first on one of the slopes.” The EMT said as he pulled the stretcher out of the helicopter. “He was wearing a helmet, but his forehead took the brunt of the impact.”

  “Let’s get him into ER One.” She said as she visually assessed the situation. His face was bloody and lacerated pretty bad. He had an open gash across his forehead that would need about thirty stitches. She shined the pin light in his eyes and his pupils were the same size, but extremely indicating a head injury. When they got the backboard moved onto a gurney she released the EMT’s and went to work. He was breathing on his own but his oxygen level was low.

  “CT is ready for him.” The nurse assisting Cason was on the phone with radiology.

  “Go ahead and send him up. Get a cervical spine scan as well. Also, go ahead and get a full spinal x-ray.”

  Cason watched as he was wheeled away. She hoped she wasn’t right, sometimes she hated being right all the time. She hung out at the nurse’s station waiting for the results. She had already talked to his parents who were apparently skiing with him and witnessed his crash into the tree. They told Cason he was an avid skier and had been down that same slope at least three times that week. They were there on vacation from Arizona. Cason had them sign all of the release forms just in case he needed to be rushed right into surgery. Cason’s mind wandered to Adler, she hoped she was safe. Every snow related accident made her think of the beautiful blond daredevil.

  When the phone rang Cason snatched it up. “Dr. Macauley.”

  “Hey, this is Dr. Bennett in radiology. Your patient is on the way back. I just uploaded his scans and his x-rays are coming back with him. His C4 and C5 are crushed and pushing on the spinal cord. He has a hematoma on the frontal lobe of his brain that is bleeding with minimal swelling at the moment. My notes with the scans are a little more detailed, but that’s the gist of it. That kid’s in pretty bad shape.”

  Cason rushed him straight into surgery and fused his spinal cord with rods in hopes that it would relieve the pressure on his spinal cord and maybe if he was lucky he would get some movement back. She left him in a medically induced coma and put him in ICU to watch his brain over the next few hours. She hoped this kid would turn around during the night. She was on shift until the middle of the next day so she spent all night checking him. When his brain function showed a dangerously low level of oxygen and blood flow she sent him for an MRI scan.

  At two a.m. the neurologist on call helped her perform a craniectomy to remove a piece of his skull to try to reduce to pressure in his brain. It was a last minute resort and a very risky procedure. She had only done this procedure one other time and it was successful. She wasn’t really the praying kind, but she did silently ask for a little help with this patient.

  When he was moved back to ICU she stayed at his bedside constantly watching the monitor attached to the wire lead inside the open part of his skull measuring the pressure in his brain. Every hour she noted the pressure rate in his chart. The swelling hadn’t stopped and the MRI scan she ordered at six a.m. showed very little brain activity.

  At eight a.m. he was pronounced brain dead and taken off the respirator. Cason stood next to his parents in his room as he took his last breath. She’d lost patients, more than she cared to count, but this was the hardest loss she had ever faced as a medical professional. It hurt, it hurt so damn bad she left the room and went straight to the roof. The helicopter sat silently in the freezing cold with a fine sheet of snow on it. The sun was shining bright, gleaming off the snow in all directions. Maybe this is what death was like, all bright and shiny, but to her it was dark and cold. She wiped away the tears that fell, tears over her failed attempt to save a life, tears for a grieving family, and tears because she just needed to let her guard down for the first time in a long time. The first few years she cried for every patient she lost, but eventually she grew the thick skin that came with being a trauma doctor.

  ***

  Cason finally fell asleep on the soft bed in her condo after being up the entire night. She gracefully finished her shift with little or no conversation with most of the other hospital staff. As soon as she got to her condo she showered and crawled into bed. She stared at the ceiling for so long she wasn’t even sure what time it was when she finally dozed off. She wanted to smash her cell phone when it rang. She hoped it wasn’t the hospital with another trauma, she didn’t think she had the strength at the moment.

  “Dr. Macauley.” She said without looking at the phone. She was already thinking about going back to the hospital when she heard the sweet voice on the other end of the line.

  “Hey stranger,” Adler said.

  “Hey.” Cason laid back down in the bed. “I miss you.” She whispered softly. Then, all of a sudden she realized she just said that out loud. “I mean…”

  “I miss you too.” Adler said. “I qualified first, but a few of these girls are riding sick.”

  “You’re great Adler, I’m sure you will throw down an awesome run.”

  “Yeah, thanks. The finals are in a couple of hours so I thought I’d see how you were doing. You’re not at the hospital are you?”

  “No. I’m lying in my bed actually.”

  “Oh really,” Adler’s voice dropped slightly, but Cason noticed the change. “It’s only five o’clock.”

  “I had a really bad night at the hospital and didn’t get to sleep. My shift ended a couple hours ago so I came home and went to bed.”

  “That sucks. What happened? Don’t tell me that crazy nurse bothered you all night.”

  “A teenage skier came in with a bad head injury and a broken neck. I did everything I could,” Cason stared at the ceiling. “He died early this morning.”

  “Oh god, I’m so sorry Cason.”

  “I’m okay, now. It never gets any easier, but I sort of got use to the circumstances of my job. This one really tore me up, I guess because he was just a kid, only seventeen.”

  “Wow. I don’t know what to say. I’m just really sorry. There is nothing safe about skiing or snowboarding, that’s for sure.”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry I tol
d you this when you’re there competing. I’m not thinking, I haven’t slept in about thirty hours.”

  “It’s okay. I know the dangers. I’m actually sorry I’m not there for you right now.”

  “I’m fine. To be honest, I’ve only lost four people here in my four years and two were car accidents. I’ve lost more than four in a week alone from all kinds of things at home in Denver. We get car accidents, shootings, and all kinds of other crazy things. This shouldn’t have bothered me the way it did. I guess sometimes you have to come back down to reality to remain sane and remember you’re only human.” She knew she was upset because it was a kid, but at the same time the back of her mind was thinking of Adler and that triggered her emotions. She silently kicked herself for letting that happen.

  “Yeah, I bet you see a lot of stuff there. I should let you get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know how did. I should be home in a few days.”

  “Good luck Adler. Kick ass and take names.” Cason said before she hung up. She needed to go back to Denver before she really screwed up and let her feelings slip out.

  Twenty

  Cason was heading back to Denver in two days, but she found herself at Adler’s townhouse waiting for her to answer the knock. She wanted to turn down the dinner invitation when Adler called the day before. How was she going to go back to her life and leave this amazing chapter behind? How would she let go?

  “Hey stranger,” Adler opened the door in jeans, a thin, beige, three-quarter sleeve scallop-necked shirt, and bare feet. Her dazzling smile tugged at Cason’s heart. She quickly threw her arms around Cason’s neck when she stepped inside. Cason wrapped her arms the warm, slender body and inhaled her citrusy scent. A single moment that was wrong in so many ways felt so damn right. Cason closed her eyes. The embrace only lasted a second or two, but it was long enough for Cason to drop her guard and that scared her.

  “So,” Cason said as she took her jacket and snow boots off. “Something smells good.”

  “It’s just a simple pasta dish with vegetables and chicken.” Adler said on her way back to the kitchen. Cason loved the open floor plan of the first floor. It reminded her of her condo in Denver. She watched Adler pour her a glass of wine.

  “At this point, I’d eat the ass end of a horse if you said that’s what was cooking. I think I’ve eaten more TV dinners over the last two months than I care to admit.” She smiled and accepted the glass.

  “Here’s to new beginnings.” Adler said.

  Cason nodded. “I’ll drink to that.”

  “So you leave in two days?”

  “Yeah, I go on shift tomorrow afternoon and work until the following morning and I should be relieved sometime before lunch. I’ll pack everything up in the morning so I can just go from the hospital.”

  “Wow. It’s sounds so final.”

  “I’ve been doing this for four years so it’s kind of routine I guess.” She sipped her wine and sat on a stool across from the counter to watch Adler finish cooking their dinner. “So, you didn’t tell me about Calgary.”

  “I was on the podium, just not at the top. I got third place. My first run was clean, but safe. I sat down the landing on my backside nine on my second run.” She shrugged. “Those things happen. Amy took first place with a killer first run. She did a new trick she was working on that is kind of like a rodeo five-forty I think, anyway it was sick. I’m sitting in second in the point’s standings and we have two more stops on the tour. So, hopefully I can stay off my ass.”

  “Where do you go next?”

  “I’ll be in Copper Mountain in two weeks and then Killington the week after that.”

  “Is that the end of the season?”

  Adler smiled. “No. That’s just the end of one tour. When that’s finished we kick off an international tour that goes to New Zealand, Chile, and two other places. I didn’t do the international tour last year so I’m excited.”

  “Wow. That’s pretty cool. I can proudly say Canada and the Bahamas are the only stamps in my passport.” She smiled.

  “Oh, you’re a travel virgin.” She laughed. “I need to corrupt you.”

  You already have. Cason thought. “I’ve wanted to travel, just haven’t found the right companion or reason for that matter.”

  “You do get vacation time, right?”

  “Oh yeah, three weeks worth, maybe I’ll get overseas one day.”

  “I love New Zealand in the winter and the summer. It’s a beautiful place.” She said as she sat their plates on the small dining table.

  Cason wasn’t much of a talker and eater, she learned over the years as a doctor to eat fast in case she got paged. She would sometimes go half of a day without food, so she ate when the opportunity arose. When she finished she watched the snow fall softly onto a moonlit mountain outside the window in the distance. When she looked back at Adler she had put her fork down and was staring at Cason’s eyes as she watched the snow.

  “I’ll wash the dishes.” Cason broke the eye contact and stood up. She needed to put some distance between herself and Adler before she made a stupid mistake, like kiss her.

  “I’ll wash, you can rinse.” Adler said as she carried her plate to the kitchen.

  They were standing at the sink together, so close their shoulders rubbed together at first, then, just stayed together. The flames of desire ran up and down Cason’s body. She could barely concentrate and in turn a plate slipped from her wet hands. Adler saw it slipping and reached over grabbing Cason’s hand and the plate. The feel of Adler’s soft skin against hers under the hot water was just too much to bear. Cason backed away from the sink and dried her hands on a nearby dish towel.

  “Excuse me.” She said as she went around the corner to the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face, and then held her wet face in her hands. She couldn’t deny it anymore. Her heart was breaking. She couldn’t control her feelings anymore than she could control which lives she saved or lost. It had been so long since she was in love and even then it was nothing like this. The ache in her chest was so painful it felt like a heart attack and the shallow breaths she was taking was restricting oxygen to her blood flow. She feared she might pass out if she didn’t get control of herself. She splashed ice cold water on her face one more time and dried it on a hand towel. When she stepped out of the bathroom Adler was standing there with a concerned look on her face.

  “Is everything okay?” She asked.

  “Yeah, I’m just tired I guess.” Cason walked past her towards the living room. “I should probably go get some sleep. Dinner was wonderful.”

  “Okay?” Adler walked up behind her. “Cason what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I…I just need to get some air and some rest.” Cason turned to face her. “Dinner really was good. I’m sorry to run out on you like this. I’m sure I’ll talk to you before I leave.” She turned back towards the front door.

  “Wait a second, you’ll talk to me?” Adler walked up behind her. “Cason look at me…”

  Cason took a deep breath and turned around. Adler was less than a foot away. She couldn’t stop it, she was trying to get out of there, get away from her, but it was just too late. She closed the distance between them in a split second and pressed her lips to Adler’s softly. Adler gasped and Cason slid her tongue between her lips. When she felt Adler’s warm, lithe body move against her she wrapped her arms around her waist and laid her hand in the palm of her back. Adler’s mouth opened further and she slid her tongue against Cason’s kissing her back with equal ardor. Adler ran her hands up Cason’s arms and into her short dark hair. Cason kissed her as if it were her last kiss, so soft, so sensual, and agonizingly slow. She didn’t stop for air, choosing to breathe when their lips slid slightly apart before going back together fully. Adler’s lips felt so soft and delicate against hers.

  Cason felt Adler pull away and she knew it was over. What had been the most amazing minute or two of her life was ending. She opened her arms and her eyes as Adler ba
cked away from her. Her bluish-green eyes said it all, she was hurt, confused.

  “Adler…”

  “Don’t…” Adler said. “Just go.”

  When Cason walked out the door Adler touched her fingers to her lips and closed her eyes.

  ***

  Cason walked out the door before the tear on the edge of her eyelid slid down her cheek. She had just made the biggest mistake of her life. She got into her SUV and smacked her hand on the steering wheel. She was sure she would never see Adler Troy again, much less hear from her. She drove on mental auto-pilot to the little condo she called home for one last night. She sat in the snow outside of the door and ran it through her ungloved fingers like sand on a beach. There were two things that usually happened when the human mind and body was so distraught it was incoherent. You either wanted to get drunk or get laid. Cason couldn’t do the first, she was on call, and the second wasn’t really an option either. She sat there in the snow staring at the moon until her hands felt frozen.

  Twenty One

  During her eight weeks on rotation Cason had gone from probably the happiest she had ever been to the saddest she ever could possibly be. Her mind was exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster. Three long months had passed since the day she arrived home, unpacked, and went straight to Denver Medical Center.