Lessons of the Past

by Chloe Maxx

  “What?” I asked, shifting to look at her. “Why the fuck would I want to dress slutty?”

  She picked up her glass and walked to the couch. “Because the smokin’ ass in 2B is coming with us.”

  I pursed my lips for a second as I looked at Courtney. “He just asked me out, he didn’t ask for sex. And this is a group thing now, not a date. Besides, if he only wants me because I’m dressed like that, I don’t want him.” I only wanted Javier. Who may or may not want me. I had no clue, and was being too petty to talk to him.

  She took a swig and studied me. “Do you not like him?”

  “I like him.”

  “No. I mean, do you not want to get laid? I think maybe it’s been so long that you’ve forgotten how great it can be.”

  “Can be,” I stated. “It can be not great, too.” I got up, deciding I needed some wine as well.

  She grabbed the remote as I walked by. “Whatever. You’ve been pissy since you got sick.”

  She was the one being a bitch, not me. “I have not!” I picked up the bottle and poured some in a glass. “I’m going to get dressed.” When I walked in between her and the TV, I finished with, “And not in anything slutty. I can’t fit into your clothes anyway.”

  She laughed and threw a pillow at me. “Takes a slut to know one.”

  While walking down the hallway, I heard my phone buzz from my room. Something in my gut told me exactly who it would be. Shakily, I placed my glass on the nightstand and picked up the phone.

  Javier: We NEED to talk.

  I knew we needed to talk, but I just wasn’t ready. The truth was, he had already gotten under my skin and I didn’t want to let him go. But I knew he’d already let me go. He didn’t have to say it for me to know.

  Me: I have plans. And everything that needed saying has already been said.

  That was as good as I could do. I just couldn’t do it face to face.

  Picking up the glass, I downed the rest of the wine and strode over to my closet. Maybe Courtney was right. Maybe I did need to slut it up a little. I didn’t want to do it for Stephen, though. I was doing it for me.

  After digging through my clothes for twenty minutes, I found the perfect top. It was bright purple and form fitting with a deep, plunging neckline. It basically stopped below my breasts, but didn’t reveal anything. Not really. Maybe a little.

  I paired it with a pair of black skinny jeans and black, shimmery, wedge flip flops. The outfit showed off all the right curves and made me look sexy. I loved it.

  Forty-five minutes later, Courtney walked into my room as I was applying my lip gloss.

  “Holy shit! You look sexy,” she exclaimed, coming to stand beside me.

  “You really think so?”

  “Fuck yes!” She scanned me from head to toe. “I love the hair. The guys will be putty in your hands.”

  I checked my appearance one more time, loving my long hair and how it curled at the ends. My hazel eyes were set off by smoky eye makeup and big hoop earrings finished the look.

  “You look great, too. When did you change?” I asked, noticing Courtney’s casual yet sexy pink dress.

  “When you were in the shower.” She touched up her lipstick then smacked her lips. “When is sex pants getting over here?”

  I giggled. “Stephen should be getting here any minute.”

  “And you really don’t want him?”

  “As a friend, but nothing else.” I tugged on the hem of my top, adjusting it to where I wanted. “Let’s have another glass of wine while we wait on him.”

  “‘Kay,” she replied as we left the room. I picked up my phone on the way out and noticed I’d missed another text.

  Javier: No, we have not. I know what you are thinking and that is not it at all.

  Whatever, I didn’t have time for his shit. The look on his face and the words he’d said, along with what I wouldn’t let him say, spoke volumes. He couldn’t handle having an affair.

  I wasn’t sure I could either, but I still wanted him.

  A light knock rapped on the door and I froze. For an instant, I freaked, thinking it could be Javier, but then remembered Stephen.

  “Will you get that?” I asked Courtney, searching for my clutch.

  “Sure,” she answered, and opened the door. “Hi. I’m Courtney.”

  “Stephen.” He walked through the doorway. “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hi, Stephen. Give me one sec,” I said, placing my phone in the clutch I’d found.

  “No problem.”

  “Want some wine?” Courtney asked, filling the empty conversation.

  Stephen shook his head. “I’m fine, but thanks.”

  “Ready?” I chirped. They both nodded and we left the apartment. Courtney volunteered to drive and I let Stephen sit up front. I knew he didn’t really like it, but he would’ve been cramped in the small backseat.

  The conversation was filled with Courtney telling Stephen drunk stories about us, me trying to deny them, and Stephen sharing some of his own. Apparently, he was really crazy back in high school.

  “How did you find out about this place?” Courtney asked as we found a parking space.

  I pointed to the building. “The bookstore. I came here to look at their used collection, hoping to find something good or Indie, and stumbled upon the sign. The coffee is so good, and of course it’s a bar, too.”

  “How does that work with a bookstore being over a place that has live bands?” Stephen questioned.

  “They close early on Friday and Saturdays.”

  “Oh, makes sense.”

  “Yep,” I said, walking down the brick steps. “The best part is that most college students don’t come here. This is more of a local place.”

  Stephen arched an eyebrow at me. “You don’t like hanging out with other college students?”

  “She’s against fun,” Courtney chimed in.

  I rolled my eyes. The last time I’d been here, I’d had a lot of fun. Damn it! Don’t think about him! “Whatever. I do, it’s just different than your type of fun.”

  Stephen chuckled but didn’t say anything else as we found a small leather couch and table. I tried to sit on the side, thinking Courtney would take the middle and hopefully hit it off with Stephen, but he sat there instead. “This place is kinda cool.”

  “Right?”

  The band began setting up their equipment and the seats began to fill up. Most of the occupants looked older than college age, but no older than early thirties. Some were there on dates, others with a group of friends. I couldn’t help but feel a little happy. This was way more my scene than a party—or, even worse, a frat party.

  “How did you two meet?” Courtney asked.

  Stephen placed his ankle over his knee and looked at me. “I helped her move in. I noticed her dad was the only guy, so I offered my services.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  I smiled. “Stephen is pretty sweet.”

  The band began playing and the noise died down a bit. The singer’s husky voice filled the room, singing a song I didn’t know, and I felt chill bumps creep up my spine. I glanced around, looking for Javier, but didn’t see him.

  Stephen moved in closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. My body tensed, but I didn’t move him off. I hated giving him the wrong signals, but was having his arm around me that bad? Lane touched and hugged me all the time and it meant nothing. I was probably making a bigger deal out of it than it really was.

  The song ended to a round of applause. The band started the next song, and I smiled, loving that they were playing one of my favorite songs. I glanced at Courtney, knowing she would be laughing. The year the song hit radio stations and became a hit, I became obsessed. I played it constantly.

  As suspected, she shook her head and smiled at me, then began singing along. I glanced behind her and my eyes landed on a pair of livid blue eyes. Javier sat at the bar, staring at me.

  My breath caught for a few seconds and I sat motionless, staring back a
t him. After a minute, I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned around.

  “I think your phone is buzzing.” Stephen pointed to my clutch sitting between us.

  “Oh,” I said, “thanks.”

  I pulled it out and checked the screen, my breath faltering.

  Javier: Listen to the lyrics. You belong with me not him.

  Sucking in a breath, I stared. And stared. I belong with him?

  The song ended and another took its place, but I wasn’t listening. I was still staring at my phone.

  Javier: Tell him you are going to the restroom. Go down the hallway to the last door.

  What the fuck? Was he crazy? He just expected me to ditch my friends for him?

  I felt a tap on the shoulder. “What’s wrong?” Courtney asked when I faced her.

  “Nothing.” I cleared my throat, trying to think fast. If I said I needed to go to the restroom, Courtney might come too. Maybe I should just ignore him? “It’s Rebecca. I’m going to find someplace quiet to call her. Give me five minutes.”

  In the end, I didn’t want to ignore him any longer. If we got the conversation over with, maybe I could move on, and so could he.

  I pushed past the people, finding where he had said to meet him. I took a steadying breath and opened the door.

  In one swift moment, Javier slammed the door and pushed me back, his lips claiming mine. His tongue was urgent, his hands everywhere. I wanted to push him off, but his teeth caught my bottom lip, sucking. The moment his lips had touched mine, any resistance I had shattered. He fucking owned me.

  “We are not over. Do you understand that?” Javier growled, pulling away. He was breathing heavily, running his hands through his hair, and looking like sex on legs. “What the fuck are you doing? Did you bring him to make me jealous? It damn sure worked!”

  “What?” I breathed, touching my tender lips.

  He stepped in front of me and pulled me close. “We are not over. You don’t get to kick me out of your apartment and decide we’re over. That is not happening.”

  Chapter 11

  “Javier…” I had no idea what to say. I was confused. More than confused. “You weren’t breaking up with me the other night?”

  “No.” He sighed and stepped away. “I know I should. I can’t give you the relationship you deserve, but I’m selfish.”

  “Oh…” I glanced around for the first time since entering the room. “Whose office is this? We can’t be in here.”

  “It’s my friend Jason’s. He owns the place.” He scrubbed his face and the memory of what that scruff felt like on my face, on my breasts, my stomach, between my thighs, had need bubbling up within me. I wanted to feel it now. Wanted to feel him.

  “Don’t,” Javier warned, and I shot him a confused look. “Don’t start thinking about us fucking. You’re already making me hard.”

  “Sorry,” I muttered, looking down.

  He took a step closer and lifted my chin. “Hey. Look at me. I want you so badly right now, it hurts. But we need to talk first.”

  I licked my suddenly dry lips. “Okay.”

  Lowering his hands to my hips, Javier said, “The other day…when you were sick, I hated knowing you hadn’t even tried to call me. You didn’t even try. It was like you gave up on me before I even had a chance.”

  “I—”

  “Shh,” he cut me off. “I understand why. I do. But it still gutted me. We’ve only been together a small amount of time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I was worried about you, you looked awful, but I was so pissed. I hate this situation. I hate that I’m asking you to do this, but I don’t hate it enough to walk away. I fucking want you, Alexandria.”

  “I want you, too,” I said, leaning in to kiss him. “I want you so much. I just figured we were over.”

  “Is that why you let that asshole touch you?”

  I laughed. “He’s just a friend, but he does want to be more. I didn’t have the energy to fight it, so I let him put his arm around my shoulder. That’s as close as we’ve gotten.”

  “Or ever will.”

  “Yes. Now, kiss me.”

  He grinned, then planted his lips on mine. “I told you I’d try and you have to let me. Don’t assume I won’t be there for you, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “And just so we are clear, I know our relationship isn’t conventional on my part, but I will not share you.”

  I nodded and planted my hands in his hair. “You either need to shut up and fuck me now, or I have to go. I told them I was making a phone call. Courtney will come looking for me.”

  “Mmm,” he breathed. Javier picked me up and carried me to the desk. “I can’t wait to see that perfect little—”

  I cut him off with a kiss and reached for his belt. He leaned forward as I unbuckled it, kissing the swell of my breasts. “This shirt…I fucking love it…and fucking hate it.”

  “Is that so?” I asked, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. I hooked my fingers in the waistband of his jeans and pushed them down.

  “Yeah, that’s so. I had to sit at the bar and watch that ass look at your tits. It’s a miracle he’s alive.”

  I freed him from his boxer briefs and took him in my hand. “He’s not an ass. He’s a really nice guy.”

  He grunted as I began stroking him. “Fuck…that feels good.” In a flash, he had my breasts exposed, and pushed me back on the desk. “You are so fucking sexy.”

  “So are you.”

  Leaning down, Javier sucked one nipple into his mouth and tugged with his teeth. I cried out in pleasure, my sex throbbing. “Oh, baby.”

  While keeping his mouth on my nipple, sucking, swirling, and nipping, one hand rolled and kneaded my other breast. His free hand unbuttoned my jeans then jerked them down.

  “I need you inside me,” I cried, my hands roaming his back.

  “Mmm,” was his only reply. His mouth freed my nipple and kissed down my stomach. My hands followed his movements, finding his hair. He gave me a wicked gleam and I knew he was going to do something that would drive me crazy.

  Javier’s tongue darted out, plunging into my entrance. He began to fuck me with it as his thumb rolled over my clit. I arched my back, moaning. He let his tongue and fingers switch places and an explosion ricocheted through my body. “Javier,” I moaned.

  He didn’t say anything or stop. Instead, he kept his same rhythm and pace. I pulled on his hair and I could feel his small chuckle before I broke, coming with a jolt.

  He leaned lower, licking me from entrance, to entrance, to clit before placing a kiss on each thigh. “I missed you.”

  “I really need you to fuck me,” I said, pulling his biceps closer to me. He placed both hands on my hips and entered me in one quick move. My head lulled back, soaking in the feeling of him. Slowly, he began to thrust, both of us staring into each other’s eyes.

  He found a rhythm and before I could think, I was coming again, and he followed.

  Javier lay his head on my chest as we both caught our breath. He kissed each nipple before moaning, “Baby.”

  I closed my eyes and realized I’d probably been gone a long time. “I have to go.”

  He helped me up and I put my clothes back on. I watched him dress, then placed a kiss on his cheek. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “I’ll drive over to your place after you leave here.”

  “Okay,” I agreed. “What about Caroline?”

  “Staying at a friend’s house tonight.”

  I smiled and blew him a kiss before shutting the door behind me. I felt free…almost giddy.

  He was mine.

  Running my fingers threw my hair, I took a few deep breaths and rejoined Courtney and Stephen. “Hey.” I sat down in my original spot, noticing Stephen’s glassy eyes.

  “Hi. I was about to come looking for you,” Courtney said, then mocked Stephen drinking. I guess he’d been throwing them back.

  I leaned in close to him. “This isn’t your thing at all, is it?”

/>   “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”

  “That’s okay.” I looked around at the crowd. Javier was back at the bar. He said something to the bartender, then tossed some money on the bar. “We can head out if y’all want. After that exhausting conversation with my sister, I’m beat. And she’s probably going to call back.”

  “That’d be great,” Stephen said, and Courtney shrugged. We all stood and began walking toward the exit.

  “I’m going to run to the restroom really quick,” Courtney announced, then walked away.

  I stood with Stephen next to an empty wall, trying to think of something to say. “I’m really sorry. I don’t understand how you couldn’t like this, though.”

  “I’m more into heavy metal…” he trailed off, looking over my head.

  I glanced back, noticing Javier approaching. Swallowing hard, I tried to give him a what the fuck look, but he still approached. “Ms. Wilson. I thought that was you.”

  “Professor Rodriguez,” I said tightly.

  “Enjoying the band?” he asked, moving closer to my side.

  “Sure,” I replied as Stephen said, “They’re okay. But I’d put up with anything for Alex.”

  Javier nodded and grabbed my butt. “I’m sure you would.”

  I cleared my throat. “It was great seeing you, Professor, but I’m kinda stuffy. I think we’ll just wait for our other friend outside.”

  Stephen gave me an odd look and Javier smirked. He was enjoying making me uncomfortable. Discreetly, I took my hand and slowly trailed up the side of Javier’s hip to his stomach. Then, I pinched the shit out of him.

  He grunted and flinched slightly, but I don’t think Stephen noticed.

  Javier recovered quickly. “It was nice seeing you, Ms. Wilson. I do hope you enjoy the rest of your night.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be bangin’,” I quipped, not thinking.

  Javier snorted and left. I turned my attention back to Stephen, and thankfully, he was busy checking out some girl’s tits.

  “I’m back,” Courtney announced.

  “Oh, good,” I said, then tapped Stephen’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”

  We strode up the staircase single file, making our way into the muggy night air. Stephen slung his arm around me and I cringed.