E is for Exposed

by Rebecca Cantrell

  Sofia was already wondering how she’d have a conversation with the woman now that she’d seen what she had. At a minimum, maintaining eye contact was going to be really difficult. Maybe her acting skills would help there too. She was sure she could play ‘Trainee private investigator who has never watched you lick whipped off cream off a really unattractive body builder, and isn’t completely grossed out by what she just watched.’

  “I gave her that Xanax.”

  She followed her mom into the living room. Sofia hoped Marcie hadn’t noticed her heading straight to the toilet after she’d watched the footage.

  The woman was lying on the couch, spread out, fast asleep. Talking to her would have to wait.

  9

  Sofia pressed the bell, stood back and waited for Sandy to come to the door. Whenever she heard that name she always thought of Olivia Newton-John’s character in Grease. She had a feeling that this particular Sandy would be more end-of-the-movie leather-clad smoking Sandy than the shy, bashful version at the start.

  Just as she was about to ring the bell again, the door opened to reveal a lady in her early seventies who was using a walker.

  “Sandy Seddon?” Sofia asked, figuring this had to be Sandy’s elderly mother.

  “You’re looking at her, Toots.”

  “Hi, I’m Sofia—”

  “I know who you are. You’re here to ask me about that Beef Cake Boyz show.”

  This was the first time anyone had mentioned the name of the act. Sofia kicked herself for not having found out from Marcie what they were called. It was a rookie error. She was glad Brendan hadn’t asked.

  Sandy had already spun the walker around, and was heading back inside the house. Sofia followed her, closing the door.

  The house wasn’t all that different from her mom’s. Mid-century, open plan, with floor-to-ceiling windows, and glass doors that made the most of the view across to the San Gabriel mountains.

  “Park your buns, Toots,” Sandy instructed, parking her walker and easing into an armchair. “If you want a drink there’s a liquor cabinet over there. Help yourself. Oh, and be a doll and fix me a Seven and Seven while you’re up. It’s kind of a candy-ass drink, but most anything else runs right through me, these days.”

  Sofia went over to the liquor cabinet, made Sandy a mix of 7-Up and whiskey, then poured the leftover 7-Up from the can into a glass for herself. “Ice?”

  “Sure. Now, what do you want to know about this show?”

  “How come you know why I’m here?”

  “Your mom called me. She said Marcie was upset and you wanted to talk to me about it.”

  That made sense. “Yeah. I just kind of wanted to know what you saw at the show.” Sofia decided to ease into this. She certainly wasn’t going to mention blackmail or the video. Neighborhoods like this, any kind of scandal spread fast, and Marcie’s main fear was her husband finding out.

  Sandy gave her a look. “What do you think you see at a show called Beef Cake Boyz?”

  “I mean with Marcie.”

  Sandy took a noisy slurp of her drink. “It’s always the quiet ones, let me tell you. She’s always been so reserved, what with her husband being a police officer and everything. But give her a drink and put her somewhere like that . . . A half-hour in and she was storming that stage like it was the beach in Normandy. Practically knocked down one of the security guards to get at that Python character. I’m just glad it wasn’t my grandson she went after. Now that would have been embarrassing.”

  Whoa. Had Sofia heard that correctly?

  “Your grandson?”

  “Yes, little Ryan. Although I guess he’s not so little anymore.” Sandy leaned forward conspiratorially in her chair. “His stage name is Anaconda,” she said, with a knowing wink.

  “You okay in there, Toots?”

  For the second time in under an hour, Sofia was in a bathroom as someone stood outside. In this case, a sharp intake of breath with a mouthful of 7-Up had temporarily incapacitated her.

  “I’m fine,” she said, opening the door. “It just went down the wrong way.”

  “You think it’s weird I went to a show like that where my grandson was on stage?”

  In California, weird was relative, but, yes, she did. “No, of course not. I’m sure he appreciated your support.”

  “You know they’re not naked on stage, don’t you? I mean, that would be weird. Having your grandma watching you wave about what the Good Lord gave you.”

  “They’re not?”

  “No, of course not. The cops would shut it down. They have to wear something that hides their junk.”

  So what about the video she’d seen? Everything had been on display. She couldn’t exactly ask Sandy to explain it. Not without letting her know what had happened. The risk of Sandy telling someone and it getting back to Marcie’s husband was too high.

  “So was Marcie with you the whole time?” Sofia asked.

  “There’s a story.”

  “She wasn’t?”

  “No, she disappeared at the end of the show to get her program signed. Left me sitting there when all I wanted to do was go home.”

  “She wanted her program signed?”

  “Yeah. I’d never heard it called that before either.”

  “You wouldn’t happen to have a copy, would you?”

  “Sure, I got a whole stack of ’em somewhere,” said Sandy, levering herself back up, grabbing her walker and shuffling off. She stopped for a second and turned back toward Sofia. “You know, my grandson’s single. You seeing anyone at the moment?”

  “I am,” Sofia snapped back, a little too quickly for it to sound polite.

  “Your loss.”

  10

  Clutching two copies of the Beef Cake Boyz show program, Sofia hot-footed it back to her mom’s house. Even though it was only four hundred yards, she was already sweating. As she walked, she flicked through the booklet.

  She had to admit, it was a pretty professional job, high-quality paper and well laid out. Most of it was made up of photographs of the five guys in the group. They wore a number of different outfits and each had a short bio with their likes and dislikes, where they were from, and that kind of stuff. Most of them listed working out as a hobby, which was hardly a surprise, given how they had to look to make their money.

  Back at her mom’s house, Marcie had woken up and was drinking a glass of water. The Xanax had clearly taken the edge off, but Marcie was still pretty jumpy.

  “You didn’t say anything to Sandy about the video, did you?” Marcie asked Sofia.

  “Of course not, but she did notice you going AWOL to get your program signed.”

  Marcie’s eyebrows shot up in panic.

  “I’m just letting you know,” Sofia told her. If Sandy said something to anyone, Sofia didn’t want Marcie to think it was her who’d been spreading gossip. “She understands your situation, so I don’t think she’ll be going around blabbing about this.”

  “Oh, thank God.”

  “But you’re still going to have to deal with Python.”

  “You’ll help me?”

  “Yes. I spoke with the head of the agency, and he said we will.”

  Sofia laid out the usual terms and payment schedule. They’d require a retainer up front and then it was billable by the hour.

  “I’ll see if I can get you some kind of a friends-and-family discount. Maybe ten percent.”

  “I don’t suppose I have any choice.” Marcie sounded glum.

  “You can talk to other investigators.”

  “Or just pay Python. You said he’d probably come down to a reasonable figure,” said Marcie.

  “Yeah, he probably will,” Sofia said. “The problem is that with it being easy to copy and share videos there’s no guarantee he won’t keep coming back. A sleaze like him isn’t someone you can trust to erase it entirely.”

  Marcie took another sip of water. “You know, I’ve never cheated before. I swear, on my life.”

 
Something about the way she said it made Sofia believe her. She reached out and patted Marcie’s shoulder. “Maloney Investigations are the best at what we do. We’re going to work hard so this gets fixed without anyone being hurt.”

  Apart from that sleazeball stripper, she thought. She really hoped Python didn’t come out of this unscathed.

  11

  Sofia pulled her Tesla into a parking spot outside the Maloney Investigations office near Cross Creek in Malibu, got out, and walked into the office. The alarm was switched off, which meant someone else was there already. She hadn’t seen either Brendan’s or Aidan’s car outside, so she was a little on edge as she walked into the main part of the office. Who had shut off the alarm?

  No one in. At times like this she wished she had her gun permit. She fumbled in her purse for the mace spray she always carried. She called out, “Hey! Anyone here?”

  Brendan’s office door opened and, much to her relief, his head popped around the frame.

  “Where’s your car?”

  “In the shop. What are you doing here?”

  She waved her Beef Cake Boyz brochures. “Thought I’d make a start on this blackmail case.”

  “You landed your first client. Congratulations.” Brendan walked out of his office. He took one of the brochures and flicked through it. “So which one of these meatheads are we dealing with?”

  “Meathead” was pretty severe by his standards. It was his equivalent of calling someone an asshole or a douchebag.

  Sofia showed him a page with a full-length picture of Python wearing a loincloth. The accompanying text said he enjoyed working out, long walks on the beach, and watching The Gilmore Girls. The last part had to be made up. She couldn’t imagine anyone who watched that show being capable of something so heinous. The residents of Stars Hollow would certainly not approve of such behavior.

  “You have a name for him, apart from Python?” Brendan asked.

  “Working on it, but not yet.”

  “Let me know when you do. I have to go collect my car.”

  “You need a ride?” Sofia asked.

  “No, I have an Uber coming.”

  Brendan’s cell pinged. “In fact that’s him now. Anyway, you get to work. See what you can dig up. And when you have a name let me know. It might just jog my memory, if this guy has come to the police’s attention before.”

  “Will do.”

  As Brendan headed for the door, he passed Aidan on the way in. Brendan’s son was also a former cop, although his career had been a lot shorter. Some days Sofia got along with him, but most of the time he was a royal pain in the butt.

  He walked past her to his desk with its array of monitors and sat. “Thought you were taking the day off.”

  “Change of plan. Had to work.”

  “Oh, yeah,” he said, rolling his chair over to her desk.

  She hastily tucked the Beef Cake Boyz programs under some papers.

  “That doesn’t look like work to me,” he said.

  “Well, it is.”

  “What’s the case?”

  She really did not want to start the investigation with hours of Aidan making lewd comments about male strippers, which he was almost bound to do. Especially with Brendan out of the office. Aidan’s sense of humor, if it could be called such, was that of a freshman frat boy.

  “I don’t even know if it is a case yet. It’s early days.”

  “Maybe I can help,” he said.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Hey, who’s the actual PI here? And who’s the trainee?”

  She glared at him.

  “I was just saying.”

  “Well, don’t. It’s patronizing and rude.”

  “Okay, but if you need any assistance, I’m here for you. Unless that’s patronizing too?”

  “No, that’s fine,” said Sofia. Although, really, it was a tone thing.

  Aidan scooted his chair back to his desk and powered up his monitors. He acted like he was working, but kept sneaking glances at her.

  Sofia retrieved one of the programs, and turned to the back cover. The Beef Cake Boyz had a residency at the fleapit in Hollywood where Sandy had taken Marcie. Sofia guessed they attracted a lot of out-of-town bachelorette parties, that kind of stuff. She checked the dates. They were playing tonight.

  Picking up her cell phone, she texted her sister, Emily, to see if she was free. There was no way Sofia was going in alone. Taking a guy along would look suspicious, and Emily was always looking for an excuse to get a night away from Sofia’s adorable but wild and exhausting niece and nephew, Violet and Van.

  Emily texted straight back to say she was free. Aidan looked over again.

  “What?” Sofia said. She wasn’t going to get anything done with him snooping around. She needed to be able to make arrangements for tonight without him listening in.

  Aidan shrugged. “Nothing.”

  Sofia gathered up the two programs and put them into her bag. “I’m heading out.”

  Aidan must have caught sight of one of the covers. “That really doesn’t look like work to me.”

  “Well, it is,” Sofia told him again.

  “Come on. What’s the case?”

  “You’ll make fun.”

  “Me?”

  She didn’t reply. They both knew he would. It was what he did. Especially when he sensed Sofia was uncomfortable with something.

  “Okay, fine, but you know where I am if you need me.” Aidan smirked.

  12

  Jaxon was asleep on the couch in the living room when Sofia got home. She felt bad. They had planned on spending the day together. Not only had she missed that but now she had to ditch a romantic dinner with him to go to a strip show with Emily. Maybe she’d better not tell him what they were doing. She couldn’t imagine many men being happy about it, especially when she told him the kind of stuff that went on at these events.

  She put her purse on the coffee-table.

  Jaxon’s eyes opened. “Hey, beautiful lady.”

  Oh, my God, he was so cute, especially when he was sleepy. “Hey, sorry I’ve been away all day.” She perched next to him on the couch.

  He pulled her in for a smooch. “I forgive you.” He wrapped his tan muscular arms around her. “What was the emergency with your mom? She okay?”

  “Yeah, but it’s kind of a long story.”

  “Good. You can tell me over dinner.”

  Ugh, this sucked big-time. If only she had ignored her mom’s phone call. Then they could have had the perfect day together she’d been looking forward to all week. But Marcie would have been stuck dealing with a sleazoid blackmailer all on her own.

  “I’m sorry, Jaxon, I can’t. Something came up with work. I have to go out tonight with Emily.”

  Jaxon looked confused, which made him even cuter. “With Emily, but it’s work?”

  “It’s a really long story. Are you mad at me for bailing?”

  “How could I be mad at you when you’re so darned adorable?”

  He was making this even more difficult by being so sweet and understanding. She took a deep breath. It was better to tell him the truth. He was a good guy, he’d understand.

  “So, the thing is, the phone call this morning from my mom. Her neighbor is this lady who’s being blackmailed by a male stripper.”

  Jaxon stared at her, his jaw slightly slack. “Okay.”

  “Anyway, she kind of got carried away at this show she went to, and did some things she shouldn’t have. The stripper filmed it and now he’s threatening to send the film to her husband if she doesn’t pay him fifty thousand dollars. Maloney Investigations are going to try to help her because she can’t go to the police―her husband is a cop.”

  “But what’s this got to do with you and Emily?”

  “I have to go to his show to see if I can find out more about the guy. I don’t want to go alone, so I thought I’d take Emily.”

  “You could have asked me to come along with you.” Jaxon sounded a litt
le hurt.

  “The audiences at these shows are pretty much all women. So if I showed up with a guy it might draw attention to me. And I’m supposed to be undercover. You understand, right?”

  Jaxon got up from the couch. He looked upset, even though he was doing his best to hide it. “I guess so. Hey, you want me to drive you guys down there? I won’t go inside. But if anything happens you’ll know I’m right there.”

  Oh, God, she loved this guy. “You’d do that?”

  “Be happy to.”

  “That’s really sweet of you, but I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  She hesitated. “You’re really okay with me going to this thing?”

  Jaxon gave a solemn nod. “It’s work. And, anyway, even if it wasn’t, I trust you.”

  Sofia smiled. He really was the perfect man.

  13

  Her mom’s car was parked outside Emily’s house when Sofia arrived. Sofia figured she must have been roped in to babysit Van and Violet. Maybe Emily’s husband Ray was working. Or maybe he just needed reinforcements. Looking after those kids could be a two-person job. Actually, from Sofia’s experience it was a job ideally handled by a platoon of National Guardsmen, and even then the military would need to be on top of their game.

  Both kids were completely adorable, but they were what one shell-shocked school principal had described as ‘challenging’. Violet had an ongoing obsession with mixed martial arts and any kind of hand-to-hand combat, and Van’s need to know how everything in the world worked, by taking it apart, meant that Ray had to lock his tools in his van at all times. With that in mind, Janet providing child-supervision backup made sense.

  Sofia walked round to the side door and let herself into the kitchen. She followed the sound of laughter into the living room. Both kids were in their PJs. They ran over to her and threw their arms around her.

  Sofia braced herself. Van was usually fine with his greetings. But with Violet she was never sure if she was going to get a hug or whether her niece would try out her latest fighting move. Male relatives usually crossed their legs or put a hand over their crotch when Violet ran to greet them. One of her most famous moves was dubbed the Nutcracker. Aidan probably still had nightmares about it.