by LP Lovell
Later that night I lay in bed with my head on Theo’s chest. I listen to his even breaths and run my hand back and forth over his fore arm, which is wrapped securely around me.
“I thought you were tired.” I can hear the smile in his voice.
“I was, but now I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow.”
He kisses my head and pulls me closer. “Babe, when do I ever let you down?” I don’t answer, because this isn’t the same. I worry that his extreme optimism stems from a fear of losing me. I can’t afford to be unrealistic right now.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THEO
I’ve invited Jane to meet us at the hotel. I need somewhere private. You can’t really discuss murder openly in public.
She’s coming at ten o’ clock. Lilly is pacing back and forth with her phone in her hand. It’s been ringing all morning, and every time she sends it to voicemail. She’s twitchy and agitated, but well…she has good reason to be. Truth be told, it will be a miracle if we can pull this off. I can’t show any glimmer of doubt though. This plan can only succeed if Lilly is one hundred percent believable.
There’s a knock at the door. Lilly’s eyes dart to mine, uncertainty written all over her face.
I stop on my way to the door. I hold her shoulders and place a kiss on her forehead. “You can do this. Just hold onto the anger. Summon it. Remember, she has nothing on you. You own her. You have the power here, not her.”
She takes a deep breath and nods her head. She moves away, and takes a seat in the living area of the suite.
I open the door and come face to face with Jane Sampson. Her appearance has improved, no doubt due to her improved finances, but her features are still the battle hardened ones of a woman who has endured a hard life. No amount of money can cover up the filth that lays beneath. She’s wearing a maxi dress which flows around her ankles, but looks so at odds with the hard lines of her face. She purses her lips into a thin line as her eyes dart around the suite behind me.
I open the door, but say nothing. She steps past me, and her eyes immediately fall to Lilly. “You told her?” She sneers at me.
I nod. “Of course.”
“And here I was thinking you were too chivalrous to put your precious Lilly through any more heart ache.” She mocks with a sadistic smile.
I smirk at her. “You really don’t know your daughter at all do you?” She says nothing as her eyes flick between the two of us. Lilly fixes her with a hard stare, there’s no emotion. She looks at her mother much as you would look at an obsolete object.
“Jane.” She greets her, her voice cold. Jane doesn’t respond.
“Take a seat.” I gesture to the sofa opposite Lilly. She begrudgingly sits. I take a seat next to Lilly. I don’t touch her though. Jane needs to see Lilly as a stronger opponent. At the moment she see’s her as the child she once knew, innocent and at the mercy of others. Jane believes that Lilly has my protection, which of course she does. Her error is in thinking that Lilly needs my protection.
Yes, I could pay her to go away, but Lilly doesn’t want me to. She wants to deal with her. She wants her gone for good.
There’s along silence as they seem to size each other up. Jane’s worn features contrast heavily with Lilly’s blatant beauty. “You’ve always been a low life, but black mailing someone so that you won’t make accusations against your own children…well, that’s bad even for you.” Lilly looks her up and down like a piece of shit. Jane says nothing, just glares at Lilly across the coffee table. “Here is what is going to happen.” Lilly continues. “You are going to go, with the money that Theo has very kindly already given you. You are never going to come back, and you are going to forget that you have children, not that it should be too hard for you.” Her voice is icy and concise.
Jane laughs like some kind of mad hyena. “Why would I do that? I could finish you, and he will pay any price to protect you. I’m not stupid.” She snaps.
Lilly smirks at her. “You really think to frame Harry and I for something you did?” Silence. You could hear a pin drop. Lilly holds her gaze, never backing down. This is where the plan gets tricky. Can Lilly really make her mother think she killed her boyfriend? One slight falter, and this could all come crashing down around us. All she really needs to do is place a seed of doubt. Jane just needs to question the possibility, and she will have to walk away. She can’t accuse Lilly and Harry if there is a chance that she in fact killed him.
Shock ripples over Jane’s features before she starts to turn red. “How dare you! I did not kill him. I loved him.”
Lilly’s face is a picture of pure disgust. “That doesn’t change the facts. You killed him, and you made Harry and I dump the body. You made your teenage children dump the body. Why do you think we ran?”
“Don’t you think I would remember killing someone?” She says confidently.
Lilly laughs. “Are you serious? I’d hedge a bet that you can’t remember half of what has happened in your life. You are an alcoholic. You drink until you pass out for hours, sometimes days at a time, and then you wake up and do it all over again.” Lilly grates out. Her body is rigid, and I can see it’s an effort for her just to stay in place.
“I would remember that!” She snaps, a note of hysteria creeping in. Lilly hears it and goes for the kill.
“So you are telling me that you don’t remember killing Shane? At all?” She says with shock. She’s good. Jane says nothing. “I’ll fill you in, shall I? He hit you, the same as always. Only this time you actually fought back.” Lilly glances down at her hands, looking upset. “I heard you screaming. He punched you, and you fell against the kitchen side. He grabbed you by the hair and was about to smash your face into the side. I guess you acted on instinct. You grabbed a knife that was on the side and just started slashing wildly at him. He let go of you, and you stabbed him right in the stomach.” Lilly meets her mother’s scrutinising eyes.
Jane purses her lips, watching Lilly like a hawk. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you? I saw the missing carpet in your bedroom, saw the blood on the floor boards. Didn’t clean up very well did you?” She sneers.
Lilly doesn’t falter. “We needed a length of carpet to wrap the body in. The carpet in my room was the right size. There was a lot of blood. We cleaned the kitchen, but we couldn’t get it out of the wooden boards.”
I watch as the seed is planted. Bingo. “I wouldn’t have killed him!” She shrieks.
“He hit you. He was going to hurt you, and one day he probably would have killed you. You acted in self-defence, and that’s why Harry and I helped you dump the body.”
“Why would you help me?” She narrows her eyes.
Lilly’s eyes glisten with unshed tears. “Because at one point you were our mum, and I loved you.” There’s so much sincerity in her voice that I really don’t think she’s acting. Despite her hatred for her mother, she must have loved her at one time. “I may hate you now, but at one point, I still believed that you would snap out of it, and become our mum again. What can I say? Children are foolish.”
Jane’s expression falters, just slightly. “Why did you run?”
Lilly snorts. “Spare me the ignorance. Why the fuck do you think? Look at you!”
“You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?” Her face twists into an ugly scowl.
“I think you’re a failure. You are a failure as a mother, and therefore you are a failure as a human being.”
“You have no idea what I’ve been through!” She shouts.
“Are you fucking serious!? What you’ve been through? Harry spent years as Shane’s punching bag. I was abused, raped and sold to his friends. All because of you.” Her voice trembles. She’s not upset though, she’s angry.
Jane drops her eyes to the floor. “I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t fucking care!” Lilly snaps. I place a hand on her thigh, and she flicks her gaze to me. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to pull her focus back. She takes a deep stead
ying breath, fixing her expression into one of disinterest. “Look, it is what it is. I’m glad you killed him. You did us all a favour. I have my life now and Harry has his, you have yours.” She meets her mother’s eyes. “If you ever loved us, if you ever loved Dad, then you’ll go back to your life, and you’ll let us get on with ours.” At the mention of her Dad, they both seem to flinch. Some memories are just painful for all involved.
“Your Dad left me.” A tear streaks down Jane’s haggard face.
“No, he was taken from us, too soon.” Lilly shakes her head. “You then had a responsibility to us. I understand now what losing him must have done to you.” Lilly glances at me, her eyes locking with mine. “It must have been like having your soul ripped out.”
Jane nods. “He was the love of my life.” Jane has suddenly changed from this rabid, feral woman, into this heartbroken woman. It’s so weird.
Lilly tilts her head back and looks at the ceiling. She takes a deep breath and holds it. She releases it and faces her mother. “You were our mum. You were supposed to be strong. You weren’t, but I can see now, that not everyone can be strong on their own. I have hated you for years. I have blamed your weakness for everything that happened to Harry and I. You were supposed to protect us.” Her voice breaks.
Jane’s face drops, her angry and bitter façade fading in the face of her daughter’s bleeding heart. “I’m sorry!” Jane says on a sob. “I’m sorry.”
Lilly watches her mother for a long moment. She reaches out her hand to me and I wind my fingers through hers. “I forgive you.” She says, her voice barely above a whisper. I whip my head around, searching her face. I never expected Lilly to say that, ever. The hate she holds for her mother is strong and deep seated.
There’s a long and awkward silence between the two of them. Mother and daughter estranged from one another. We came here today to meet an enemy and fight fire with fire, but their enemy is one and the same. Life has dealt the pair of them a shit hand. Jane didn’t handle it well and as a parent, that responsibility was hers. Some things can never be forgiven. Allowing a monster to rape your daughter is a level of failure that few will ever reach. I hate her for what she allowed to happen to Lilly. I know how hard saying those words must have been for Lilly. The things that happened to her could have been avoided, and yet they have robbed her of so much. That said, Jane is a victim of what life has thrown at her, and the two of them should have been bonded in their loss.
To forgive her mother…that’s massive for Lilly.
Jane stands up, wiping under her eyes.
“I will withdraw my statement against Harry.” She says quickly. Wordlessly she moves to the door and opens it. She takes one last look over her shoulder at Lilly and I. “Look after her.” She says to me. I nod, and then she’s gone.
As soon as the door clicks shut, Lilly releases a huge breath. She falls back against the sofa cushions, looking exhausted.
“You okay?” I ask her. She nods.
“Yeah, I am actually.”
“I have to say, sugar, you should get an Oscar for that performance.”
She nods and flicks her eyes down to her fidgeting fingers. “Do you think she really is sorry?” Her eyes find mine, a rare glimpse of vulnerability showing through. I reach out and touch her face.
“I’d like to think so.”
She nods. I can see the self-doubt written all over her features. I don’t blame her. Hate is an easy thing to hold onto. Forgiveness is much more difficult. “I need to call Harry.” She sighs. “He’s going to be so pissed.”
I frown. “Why?”
She stands up, taking her phone from her pocket. “I was supposed to get on a flight with him last night, to Norway.”
“What?!” I snap.
She smiles. “He didn’t think that you could do it.”
“No shit, and you were going to go, without telling me?” I seethe.
She shakes her head. “No, I decided to come with you instead. He gave me an ultimatum. He told me to be at that runway, even though he knew I wanted to give you time. He was asking me to choose, Theo.” Well shit. She turns away from me, typing on her phone as she goes. She heads into the bedroom and closes the door behind her. I can only imagine her brother’s response to her coming to Monaco with me. As if Harry didn’t hate me enough already. I can’t believe she did that. I know Lilly loves me, but protection and preservation is something that is so ingrained in her, I was sure there was nothing that could over-ride that. She abandoned her brother, on the chance that we could have a future together.
She’s in the bedroom for a long time. After a while, I press my ear to the door. I can’t hear any voices, so I knock gently and push the door open.
Lilly is sat on the bed with her back to the head-board. Her arms are wrapped around her bent knees. Her phone is on the bed in front of her and she’s just staring at it.
“Lilly?” Her face tilts up to look at me. Her face is blotchy and her eyes are blood shot from crying. I drop onto the edge of the bed, facing her. “Sugar, what’s wrong?”
She sniffs, and places her hands over her face. “He’s gone.” She whispers. “He’s gone to Norway.”
“But he’s coming back?” Why wouldn’t he come back?
She shakes her head. “He said he had already arranged to be away for a couple of months, so he’s going to stay there for a while.” She hiccups as a fresh wave of tears breaks free. “He was so hurt Theo. He thinks I chose you.”
“He knows it’s not like that.” I assure her.
She shakes her head. “But it is like that. He has always been there for me, given up everything for me, and when he was prepared to do it again, I chose you instead.”
“Lilly, you chose to try and have a life, surely he understands that?” I’m not actually so sure. Harry hates me. He thinks I’m not good enough for his sister, and maybe he’s right. He see’s every fuck up, all the things I’ve done to hurt her. I very much doubt he understands.
She nods. “He says he gets why I did it. He said that isn’t why he’s staying, but I know him. I really hurt him.” She chokes.
“It will be okay sugar, he’ll come round.”
“Fuck, he’s the last person I would ever want to hurt.” I reposition myself next to her on the bed, and wrap my arm around her shoulder, pulling her against my side. She cries on my shoulder. Why is life so damn hard? Poor girl can’t catch a break. One crisis is averted, and there’s another one, just waiting to kick her in the crotch.
The flight back to London is fairly short, but Lilly sleeps almost the entire way. Then when we get home, she goes straight back to sleep. I don’t try to wake her. I get our bags from the car and bring them into the house. Her phone is ringing in her handbag, I rummage through to find it, just in case it’s important. It’s just Molly. I press the green button.
“Hey Molly, Lilly’s asleep.”
“Oh.” She sniffs. “Sorry. I’ll uh, I’ll call her later.” She sounds really upset, like she’s crying.
“Wait, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I…I’m fine. Just tell Lilly I called will you?” She says through her obvious tears.
“Sure.” I say. This must be one of those girl things. Who knows?
I press the red button to hang up, and see a message flashing up from Harry. I don’t open it. The first line which is visible reads: ‘I’m sorry. I love you baby girl.’
I put her phone back in her bag and go through to my bedroom. Lilly is curled on her side in the enormous bed. I don’t undress her, I don’t want to wake her. I unbutton and remove my jeans and shirt. I get into bed and spoon her, wrapping my arms around her. She clings to my arm, snuggling into my hold. I hold her tight, and for the first time in a long time, it feels like everything might be alright, as though we may actually make it.
Jane stays true to her word and barely twenty-four hours after we return from Monaco, Claudia calls and informs me that the charges have been dropped. Without Jane’s statement, there
simply isn’t enough evidence to even consider charging him. Luckily, no-one seems to have realised that he’s breached his bail. The relief is somewhat marred by Harry’s absence, which hits Lilly very hard. As always, she tries to put up a front, acting as though nothing is amiss. I see the moments when she’s lost in her own thoughts, the air of grief that surrounds her. I know Harry will come back, he would never abandon her.
Other than Harry’s absence, everything is good, quiet almost. It’s strange. Lilly is changing. The cool, hardened woman I first met is giving way to a more relaxed person. She smiles more, laughs more freely and speaks without constantly checking herself. She’s free.
It’s Wednesday lunchtime, and she’s come to have a lunch ‘meeting’, which really means, I kind of mention any stuff that she may be able to pass off as work, should her boss ask. Essentially I just get some of her time, and she gets paid to work. Win, win.
She hands me a sandwich wrapped in brown paper. There’s this little sandwich shop called Doorsteps around the corner from the office. They do the best sandwiches. She always grabs me one if she’s coming over here. You have to love a woman who provides a good sandwich. Her lips quirk as she digs in the plastic bag and pulls out another one and hands it to me.
“You see this is why I love you.”
She smirks. “Because I bring you sandwiches?”
I shrug. “Among other things. None of which I can recall right now.” She rolls her eyes and I smile. “As much as I appreciate your food offerings, are you trying to make me fat?” I cock an eyebrow.
“No, I’m pre-empting the fact that you will eat that sandwich and then stare at me until I give you mine.” She tilts her head to the side.
“I would do no such thing.” I smile innocently at her.
“You are worse than a scrounging dog. But you’d best not get fat. I’m only with you for your body babe, oh and your face. Without all this…” She gestures the length of my body. “You have nothing.” She flashes me a wry smile.
