The Selfless Sister

by Shirley Kennedy

  “But what about the ghost?’ Lucinda asked. “Weren’t you afraid to play in the attic?”

  Edgerton shrugged again. “Of course I’d heard of the ghost, but my curiosity about the attic outweighed my fear. I talked to the footman and through a bit of wheedling persuaded him to sneak the key off the housekeeper’s ring. The three of us ran immediately up the stairs to the attic and started to play hide-and-seek.”

  Sarah interjected, “Not for long, though. It was spooky up there. I was scared. I soon came back down again.” She shifted an accusing gaze at her brother. “As did Edgerton.”

  “I heard my parents calling me,” Edgerton went on smoothly. “They were planning on leaving shortly and wondered where we were.” Edgerton spread his palms. “Naturally I couldn’t tell them where we’d been. I simply said we had been outdoors, and—”

  “I tried to tell them we’d been in the attic, only Edgerton told me to shush,” Sarah intervened.

  Edgerton resumed, “I could hardly say where we’d been, now could I? Papa was a strict disciplinarian. He had always been in awe of The Belingtons and would have been appalled had he known his son had broken one of their precious rules. Had he found out what I’d done, I would have been severely punished.”

  Sarah said, “Then Papa asked where was Marianne.”

  Casting her a contemptuous glance, Edgerton continued, “How could I tell him that Marianne was likely still in the attic? It was then I remembered that earlier Gregory had been giving the children pony rides. So what else could I say except to tell them I’d seen Gregory lead her on a pony into the woods?”

  “Edgerton threatened me if I told,” lamented Sarah.

  Douglas said, “So the whole time the search was going on for Marianne, you knew where she was but refused to tell.”

  “What else was I supposed to do?” Edgerton sounded close to indignant. “I had no choice. And besides, I couldn’t be sure Marianne was still in the attic. For all I knew, she could actually have found her way downstairs and wandered into the woods.”

  “Of course you knew she was in that attic,” cried Pernelia, the fists clenched to her sides indicating her rage.

  “I was only twelve years old!”

  In a voice filled with outrage, Pernelia continued, “I am hard put to control myself, Edgerton. You are my only son whom I have trusted all these years, despite your wastefulness, your airs, your petty tyrannies. I think of all those times I went searching in the woods for your little sister, and all the time you knew!” She flung her hands out in exasperation and cried, “Oh, it’s not to be borne! If you had spoken up, Marianne might have been found alive in that attic.”

  Edgerton said coolly, “Really, Mama, don’t allow yourself to get carried away. I was not at fault here—”

  “Not at fault?” To everyone’s astonishment, it was Jane who had spoken, her voice near hoarse with unbridled anger. “I have known for some time, Edgerton Linley, you were coward and a bully. Now I’m adding heartless liar to the list. Do you realize the damage you’ve done? Not only to our family, but look what you’ve done to the Belingtons!”

  Pernelia took up the charge. “Not only did you ruin Gregory Belington’s life, you’ve forced his family to live in a shadow all these years, and all because you weren’t man enough to admit your guilt.”

  Edgerton seemed genuinely offended. “What nonsense! Perhaps...yes, I was a bit remiss in not telling the whole truth, but I hardly think I should be blamed for any of this.” His lip curled as he looked at Douglas. “Is that all, sir? If so, I do believe we have concluded this rather over-dramatized scene. I request you leave, sir, and allow this family to return to its normal routine.”

  “I can’t believe I am hearing this, Edgerton,” Pernelia exclaimed. “I have always felt a mother’s love for you, despite your being an extremely difficult child to love, lacking as you were in the merest semblance of endearing qualities. I confess, there was many a time when I respected you more than loved you, yet I have always stood by you. But now I neither love nor respect you. The only feeling I have for you right now is one of pity.”

  Edgerton glared at his mother. “Mama, I require neither your love nor your pity. It’s of no import whatsoever. All I want is for this household to get back to normal.”

  Bolstered by every female in the household standing by her side, Pernelia seemed to gain strength as she went along. In an incredulous tone she asked, “My son, you have no idea what you have done, have you? When I think of all those years I searched the woods! You could have told me, but you never did.” She gave him a look that reflected her years of frustration, uncertainty, and anguish. “You are not twelve anymore, nor have you been for twenty-five years, so what is your excuse?”

  “Really, Mama,” Edgerton said indulgently, “Marianne has been found—we must put this tragedy behind us.”

  “And continue as if nothing had happened?”

  Edgerton answered equitably, “I do believe so, yes.”

  “No, my son. This family will never be as it was.”

  In the minutes that followed, Lucinda had to restrain herself from leaping up and cheering. It was as if a miracle had occurred. She wanted to cheer when Pernelia stoutly declared that she was sick of Edgerton’s tyrannical attitude and would tolerate it no longer. And when Edgerton, sneering his disbelief, asked his mother just how she proposed to accomplish such a feat, Pernelia, who had never before displayed an ounce of backbone, raised a cynical eyebrow and said, “I suggest you leave Southfield immediately because if you do not, you won’t get another penny from me.”

  For the first time since Lucinda had arrived, she saw Edgerton’s mouth drop open and astonishment cover his face. “You cannot—!”

  “I can.” Pernelia bobbed her chin firmly. “I hold the purse strings, remember? You have lived off my largesse for years, while I, spineless woman that I was, allowed myself to be browbeaten and bullied by you, you little martinet. Well, it’s not to be borne—not a minute more!”

  A stunned silence filled the room, broken only when Edgerton, still defiant, challenged in a shaking voice, “You would not dare.”

  “I would and I will,” replied Pernelia. She turned to Jane and Sarah. “I shall allow Edgerton to stay at that small farmhouse I own on the other side of York. I shall even give him a small stipend—” she cast Edgerton a chill glance “—very small. Both of you are welcome to stay here with me, or go with Edgerton.”

  Panic was beginning to form in Edgerton’s eyes. “Don’t forget, by entailment Southfield is mine.”

  “Fine then,” Pernelia said coolly. “Stay here and I shall move to my estate in Sussex, which, as you know, is every bit as grand as this. But bear in mind, you’ll have a problem running Southfield because I shan’t give you a penny.”

  Edgerton protested, “But do you really want to see Sarah and Jane living in a decrepit farmhouse?”

  Sarah glared at her brother. “You don’t scare me anymore, Edgerton. I shall remain here at Southfield.”

  “I, too, shall remain,” Jane boldly declared. She addressed her husband. “I have lived under your yoke of tyranny for years. The thought of being done with you forever fills me with joy.”

  Edgerton blanched. “You, too, Jane?” he asked in astonishment. He glanced around the room for support and found none. “May you all rot in hell,” he said in a voice tight with rage.

  Pernelia remained courageous and firm. “Charles, of course will remain here. You are welcome to come back to visit him, Edgerton, but any permanent return will be contingent upon your admission that you made a terrible mistake, as well as your humble apologies—most humble!—to your own family, as well as the Belingtons.”

  Douglas stepped aside as Edgerton stormed to the door and turned for one last parting word. “Never,” he declared in a ringing voice, and was gone.

  Pernelia declared, “He will never return. I know my son well enough to know he’ll never admit he did anything wrong.”

  “I
’m so sorry, Aunt,” said Lucinda.

  “Don’t be.” Pernelia smiled at her niece. “I have found peace tonight, thanks to you. Edgerton is my son. I suppose I still love him despite what I said, but I must admit, I shan’t miss those horrible dinners when we all sat quaking in fear of him.”

  “Nor I!” Jane agreed.

  “Nor I!” echoed Sarah.

  Douglas spoke up, amusement in his eye. “Then it appears that Edgerton will not be too sorely missed.”

  The answering laughter that filled the room told him all he needed to know.

  Chapter 18

  “Gregory, how marvelous to see you again,” Douglas said to his older brother who had just arrived at Ravensbrook Manor. He gave his brother a joyous hug and said, “Come into the Great Hall. Carter, will you bring us a brandy?”

  Gregory Belington was a tall, broad-shouldered man, his hair a distinguished gray at the temples. There were squint lines around his eyes. His deeply tanned face attested to his spending time in the sun. He smiled as his gaze swept around the Great Hall. “Just as I remembered it.” His voice rang with nostalgia.

  “It’s much the same,” Douglas said as they settled in front of the great stone fireplace with their brandies. He raised his glass. “Here’s to you, Gregory. It’s good to have you home.”

  “I could hardly believe your letter,” Gregory said as he raised own glass. “A toast to the young lady who found Marianne. Miss Lucinda...?”

  “Miss Lucinda Linley. Edgerton’s cousin, actually.”

  “Ah, yes, Edgerton. He’s long gone, I hear.”

  “Long gone, and, from what I hear, not sorely missed. It appears the ladies at Southfield are managing quite handily.”

  “I must meet Miss Linley and let her know how grateful I am.”

  Douglas was forced to answer over a slight roughness that had just formed in his throat. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. Miss Linley was visiting at Southfield. She has since returned to her home in Essex.”

  “Damme! Perhaps she will be back soon?”

  He tried to speak but had to swallow first. “I doubt she’ll ever come back.”

  “What a pity! I–“

  ”Gregory! Welcome home! I’m Alex, your younger brother.”

  Alex came striding into the Great Hall, followed closely by Alethea.

  Douglas spoke up. “Ah, here are our newlyweds, Gregory.” Noting their beaming faces, he added succinctly, “not that you could ever tell by looking at them.”

  Alex laughed aloud and put an arm around his bride. “We haven’t stopped smiling since we finally made it to Gretna Green.” He extended his hand. “Welcome, Gregory. By Gad, it’s great to meet my oldest brother at long last!”

  Douglas could almost forget his heartache in the minutes that followed, so filled were they with friendly talk and congenial laughter. But always underneath, well-hidden by his pleasant countenance, was the thought that his title was gone and he was only a second son again. Not that he would have minded in the least, if it weren’t for Lucinda. I’ve lost her, he thought, for perhaps the thousandth time. But there was nothing to be done. Gregory had at last returned, cleared of all wrong-doing. After an exile of twenty-five years he deserved to have his title and the fortune that went with it. They hadn’t discussed the matter yet, but perhaps now was the time.

  Douglas signaled to Carter to fill the brandy glasses again. He lifted his glass. “To Gregory Wyndham, Earl of Belington.” He made a grand gesture around the Great Hall. “This is yours now, every bit of it. Enjoy it in good health and with all our blessings.”

  Gregory abruptly set his glass down and squinted at him. “What on earth are you talking about?”

  “The title...the estate...all of it is yours now. Surely you knew that.”

  Gregory regarded him as if he had gone a bit daft. “But the title is yours, Douglas, as is the estate.”

  “No, it’s rightfully yours. You’re the son and heir, not I.”

  To Douglas’s surprise, Gregory burst into hearty laughter. “Sorry to ruin your plans, but I don’t want the title, and I would not move back to merry old England if you paid me.” He hastened to add, ”Not that Ravensbrook Manor isn’t a beautiful estate, and not that I haven’t enjoyed seeing my family once again, but I have made a life of my own. I could not possibly return here on a permanent basis. Don’t you understand? My heart lies in the south of France where I have a villa overlooking the sea. Where the sun shines much of the time, and I paint every day, and fish every day, and lead an idyllic life. And incidentally”–-a devilish gleam lit his eye—“before I arrived here, I stopped by the home of Lady Perry. It might take a bit of persuasion, but I think the lady will soon be joining me.”

  Alex spoke up. “That’s wonderful news, Gregory.”

  Gregory nodded with delight. “So, Douglas, keep the estate, keep your title. I shall sign it over to you, or whatever it takes. Just keep sending the stipend. It covers all my needs. Douglas...Douglas? Are you all right?”

  * * *

  In the weeks since she’d been back in Essex, Lucinda hadn’t felt like visiting. As a result, hardly anyone in the countryside was aware she had returned. Meanwhile, she had kept herself extremely busy. Mama wasn’t feeling well again, so it seemed the natural order of things that she should take over the running of the household.

  “What a blessing to have you back,” Papa had said. “Although...” he looked deep into her eyes “...Daughter, I see sorrow there.”

  She told him everything, and though she didn’t specifically describe her feelings for Douglas, Lord Belington, she didn’t have to. Papa knew immediately. “So at last you’ve fallen in love,” he said.

  “Yes, for all the good it will do me.” She added, “But don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Just please, please don’t you and Mama try to find someone else for me to marry.”

  And indeed she was fine, she told herself quite frequently. And indeed, she had quite convinced herself she would never marry. Her life might be hum-drum, but she was quite content, and if, as happened frequently, she awoke in the night recalling the ecstasy of being held against the hot, hard length of Douglas’s lean body, then she would simply endure her burning longing, and hope that in time the memory would fade.

  And after all, didn’t she still have her pride?

  One afternoon, the maid announced a visitor. As Lucinda entered the salon, she had no idea who the visitor might be. When she saw it was Douglas, she stopped abruptly, forgot her perfunctory curtsy, and bought her hand to her heart. “Douglas!” she exclaimed when she found her voice. “Whatever brings you here?”

  He strode across the room and took both his hands in hers. “You bring me here. It appears I was wrong about a few things.”

  Lucinda listened with growing incredulity as Douglas told her how his brother, Gregory, had come for a brief visit to Ravensbrook Hall, how he had rejected his title, and how, to Douglas’s and Alex’s positive delight, he swept Lady Felicia Perry not only off her feet but off to France, thus providing the local ton with enough on-dit to last for the next several years.

  When he finished, she said, “So it would appear you are still Earl of Belington.”

  “I am, and shall remain so.” He gripped her hands tighter. There was a sheen of purpose in his eye. “How could I have come to you empty-handed? But now I want you for my wife.”

  She stared at him dumbfounded. “You mean...?”

  “I used to brag I had never met a woman from whom I couldn’t walk away.” He raised an eyebrow. “But I can’t walk away from you, Miss Lucinda Linley. I’m so deeply I love with you I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I—”

  “You don’t have to say another word,” she exclaimed, touching two fingers to his lips. “I love you, too, Douglas. Titled—untitled, rich—poor, it doesn’t matter—it never did.” She wanted to say more, but with a happy moan, he cradled her in his arms and gave her the sweetest, warmest, most passionate kiss she had
ever received.

  When they finally broke apart, she exclaimed, “I shall never undress in the closet!”

  When he looked puzzled and asked her what she meant, she laughed and replied, “Just a family joke, my love. Wait ‘til we’re married and you’ll know what I mean.”

  The End