Particular Intentions

by L. L. Diamond

  Mr. Darcy leaned towards her. “We shall be in Derbyshire while she will remain in Meryton. I imagine we shall visit, but perhaps I shall find a nice cottage nearby to purchase or lease for those occasions. Please do not be offended when I confess that I thought small doses might be easier to tolerate.”

  She pursed her lips in an attempt not to giggle. “I do not believe I would be averse to your suggestions.”

  His hand squeezed hers, but his eyes darted to something behind her. “Please excuse me. I need to speak with Bingley.” Before she could acknowledge his statement, he was gone.

  After Mr. Darcy’s departure, she remained in her seat until the pianoforte was opened, and Mary took the invitation to play. After one line of her sister’s fumbling concerto, Elizabeth required air.

  Her determined pace took her to the ballroom where the musicians prepared for the second half of the dances. She scanned the decoration, admiring Mrs. Hurst’s efforts. The house had never been so lovely.

  She approached some flowers from the orangery and bent forward to smell their fragrance.

  “How pleased your Mr. Darcy must be to be free of Wickham for the evening.”

  Elizabeth retreated a step back from the sneering voice of Mr. Denny. “I beg your pardon?”

  “Has Mr. Darcy not wronged my friend enough? He also had to ensure Wickham was not in Meryton for the ball as well. Saunderson has even heard Wickham might be moved to another regiment.”

  Her spine went rigid as she stood as tall as she was capable. “I can assure you, Mr. Denny, Mr. Wickham has not been injured by Mr. Darcy. It is, in fact, quite the opposite. Mr. Wickham is who should not be allowed amongst polite society.”

  Mr. Denny’s hand shot out as though he would grab her arm, and Elizabeth pulled away, darting through the door to the hall and down a corridor before she could consider where she was going.

  When she stopped, the library was just ahead and appeared to be lit. She only wanted a place to gather her thoughts for a moment. Mr. Bingley would not mind.

  She stepped forward, but halted once she stood in the doorway. The room was not empty.

  “You are well aware that you cannot marry Miss Bennet!”

  Her heart sunk to her toes as Mr. Darcy’s unmistakeable voice emanated from the man whose back she was facing. Mr. Bingley stood to the side, staring into a glass of brandy.

  “I tell you, Darcy, I have given her no encouragement! I have enjoyed speaking with her and a dance this evening as well as at the assembly.”

  “You stood up with her twice at the assembly.”

  Mr. Bingley held out his arms. “So, I danced with her twice that evening, but I have done nothing else! I have done naught to excite people’s expectations!”

  Mr. Darcy’s fingers combed through his hair. “Regardless, it is assumed you and Miss Bennet will become betrothed. You must avoid her for the remainder of the evening and depart for London on the morrow.” His voice was calmer, but still emphatic.

  “How am I to avoid Miss Bennet’s company without being rude? You truly think of the most preposterous solutions!”

  A high-pitched bark came from Mr. Darcy. “You would risk everything. After all that I have done for you!”

  Elizabeth gasped and stumbled. Her shoulder hit the wall, the painting beside her rattled, and her eyes widened as Mr. Darcy spun around.

  “I was looking for quiet. Forgive me!” Without another word, she ran.

  Chapter 12

  Elizabeth held one side of her skirt, so it did not impede her hasty stride. She required a door! She had to leave and leave now!

  How could she be so cork-brained as to believe Mr. Darcy cared for her? Was his offer of courtship nothing more than a terrible joke? Well, he would have quite the laugh at her expense when he departed Meryton because she had fallen for his act of sincerity. How could she have been so gullible?

  A sob tore from her throat when she came to a stop. The chill of the night prickled her skin and rent at her lungs as she pulled in great gulps of air. She swiped the damp from her cheeks with rough motions.

  How could he? How could he profess to have feelings for her when he intended to hurt her dearest sister? She was a fool!

  “Elizabeth!” His hand touched her upper arm. She wrenched herself away.

  “Do not address me so informally, sir. I have given you no such permissions, and after tonight, I never shall!”

  “You must allow me to explain.”

  “Explain?” She placed a hand over her heart. “Explain how you claimed to care for me while you injured my dearest sister? Why would you do it? How could you do it?”

  “Elizabeth—”

  “I told you not to address me as such!” Her voice was shrill and harsh even to her own ears.

  “I have never told you a falsehood, and I never shall. You must believe me!”

  “I may have believed your flattery and pretty lies before, but how can I trust what you say now? I have witnessed your true self, Mr. Darcy.”

  “Miss Elizabeth, please.”

  “Was every word from your lips meant to deceive me?”

  His head shook. “No, I have only spoken the truth. You must give me a chance to tell you—”

  “You have a sister, who you love and protect. Would you be pleased to discover she was to be hurt in this fashion? Would you not defend her?”

  “I would be Georgiana’s greatest advocate, and I would expect no less from you when it comes to Miss Bennet. I swear to you—”

  “I heard you! I know what you said!” Her knuckles ached from the relentless grip of her hand on the front of her gown. “You cannot change what you told Mr. Bingley. You cannot pretend you did not just forbid your friend from proposing marriage to my sister.”

  “It is not I who forbids him.”

  Her hand shot out before her and pointed at his chest. “You ordered him to depart Meryton!” She covered her face with her hands until she jumped away from a light touch to her forearm. “If Jane’s dowry and connections are not good enough for your friend, how are mine sufficient for you?”

  “I have explained that I do not require money or connections, and if Bingley—”

  “I do not want to hear any further excuses! You can have nothing to tell me that will alter what you have done!”

  She needed to go home—to Longbourn. Her tear streaked face and swollen eyes would draw attention if she returned to the ball, so she peered above her. The clouds of that afternoon had subsided, leaving a bright gibbous moon to light the inky black sky. She could make her way home through the fields.

  “I have to leave.” With an abrupt pivot, she began to stride away, but a firm grasp to her elbow spun her around. She ripped herself away from Mr. Darcy. “I can walk to Longbourn. Please leave me be.”

  “I cannot allow you to endanger yourself by walking those three miles.”

  She opened her mouth to protest.

  “Before you object, I shall arrange for a carriage to bring you to Longbourn, but I beg you to hear my side.”

  Her head pounded as memories and thoughts swirled in her mind. She could not do this! She could take no more! “I cannot. I just need to go home. Please.”

  His hands were clasped tight at his sides as his shoulders slumped. “I shall have my carriage prepared.” He held out an arm in the direction of the stables. “I merely want to ensure your safety.”

  Leaving a wide berth, she made her way around him, remaining several paces ahead. The damp chill of the evening combined with her emotions caused her to shake while she blinked to clear her tear-blurred vision. Mr. Darcy’s steady stride thudded through the grass behind her, reminding her of his presence.

  “Miss Lizzy!”

  Elizabeth’s head shot up and her body sagged when she spotted Mr. Hill. “Mr. Hill, would you take me home?”

  The elderly brother of their housekeeper studied her from her feet to her face. “Are you well, Miss Lizzy?”

  “I am not injured, but I have fou
nd little enjoyment at the ball. I would prefer to go to Longbourn than remain.”

  “What of your parents and your sisters?”

  “You could come back for them since they will stay until the very end.”

  Mr. Hill peered around her to Mr. Darcy. “You will inform her father, then?”

  “Once I know she is home, I shall tell Mr. Bennet. If it would be an inconvenience for you, I could have my own carriage readied.”

  “Won’t be necessary, sir. I have Mr. Bennet’s just there.” He pointed to one side, and Elizabeth grasped her skirts as she hastened towards the equipage. Mr. Hill passed her as he ran ahead to open the door, and she jumped in without a hand from either of the men.

  When she took her seat and turned towards the door, Mr. Darcy’s foot was lifted in an attempt to enter, so she sprang forward. “What are you about?”

  “I want to ensure your arrival at Longbourn.”

  “No.” She clenched her jaw. He could be so infuriating! She did not desire anything from him—not anymore. Could he not just leave her be?

  “Please,” he pled. “I could explain what you overheard.”

  “Have you not heard me? I beg of you to importune me no further. I free you of any obligation you feel towards me.”

  His countenance became white as chalk. “You cannot mean that.”

  Her tears tickled as they flowed like rivers down her cheeks, pooling at her chin until they dripped onto the ivory muslin of her gown. “I do. I want nothing more to do with you.”

  “Sir,” interrupted Mr. Hill. “I would welcome your company if you wish to be assured of Miss Lizzy’s well-being. Once my sister has the lady’s charge, I can convey you back to Netherfield.”

  Elizabeth was stock-still as the two men discussed the arrangements before her. Whether he remained or rode with Mr. Hill, she cared not, only that he was not inside with her.

  The servant nodded towards a crate under the seat. “You might offer her a rug before we set off, sir.”

  Mr. Darcy pulled the box forward, removed a quilt, and held it aloft. “You are trembling. I would place it around your shoulders, but I fear you would object.”

  The blanket was snatched from his grip and clutched to her chest. “Please leave.”

  His eyes were shiny as he closed the door, and she collapsed back into the squabs. She shook the rug and draped it over herself. She was frozen! The chill permeated her gown, her flesh, and down to her bones. Would she ever be warm again?

  Darcy climbed atop the equipage and took the seat beside Mr. Hill. He did not look at the man or acknowledge him at that moment. He could not. If he spoke or allowed himself an emotion, he would be unable to maintain the façade he erected when the carriage door closed.

  Elizabeth was unreasonable. She was hurt, and with time and clarity, she might agree to listen to his part—but that would not occur tonight. He heaved in a gulp of stinging night air—a struggle with the sensation of an anvil resting upon his sternum. The heaviness would not subside, either, but intensified with each laboured breath.

  If she would but listen! Nothing was the way it sounded, and the story behind his argument with Bingley would exonerate him. The tale was not exceedingly long or tedious, yet she did not know, because she would not hear him.

  “The two of you had a disagreement, I take it.”

  He stared down to his hands clasped in front of him.

  A crack broke the silence as Mr. Hill whipped the reins down upon the horses’ rumps. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  The sound of a sob came from the inside, and Darcy grasped the edge of the seat.

  “Miss Elizabeth misunderstood a conversation she overheard. She will not allow me to set her mind at ease.”

  “Hmm…” was all the man said.

  Darcy placed his head in his hands and remained in such a position until they pulled to a stop before the front door of Longbourn. As Mr. Hill climbed down, the entry opened and the Bennet’s housekeeper, Mrs. Hill exited. “Horace? What has happened?”

  He opened the equipage at the same time Darcy’s feet hit the ground. Darcy extended his hand, but Elizabeth clutched the rug around her as she reached past him for Mr. Hill’s shoulder.

  “Miss Lizzy wasn’t enjoying the ball. She wished to come home.”

  Mrs. Hill took one glance at Elizabeth and opened her arms, allowing Elizabeth to fall into her embrace. She made soothing noises in his beloved’s ear while Elizabeth sniffed against the old woman’s shoulder.

  When Mrs. Hill ushered Elizabeth inside, the old man gestured up towards the driver’s seat. “We should be returning.”

  Why was he to ride atop the carriage? Without Elizabeth, would he not sit inside?

  Mr. Hill climbed back into his place, and squinted down to Darcy in the dark until he followed. Once they were moving, Mr. Hill cleared his throat.

  “Did you know that Miss Lizzy once had a huge row with Miss Bennet?”

  His head darted to Mr. Hill, who did not look at him, but continued to watch the dark road ahead.

  “Miss Bennet and Miss Lizzy have always been close. If you’ve never seen them together and alone, Miss Bennet is a different girl with Miss Lizzy than with others. She shows more of herself.

  “Well, none of us, to this day, know what their argument was about, but Miss Bennet just had to leave Miss Lizzy be for a few days. Once Miss Lizzy got over her temper, the two girls could resolve matters.”

  “Are you suggesting I give Miss Elizabeth time?” His voice came out raspy and altered.

  The older man nodded. “I’ve known Miss Lizzy since she was a wee thing, and that girl’s always had a fearsome temper. I think that’s why Mrs. Bennet never took to her as she did Miss Jane, but that’s beside the point.”

  Darcy’s nails dug into the wood of the seat at his sides. “May I ask why you are telling me this?”

  Mr. Hill laughed. “I’ve watched that lady grow up. She spent a great deal of time in the garden and in the stable at Longbourn from the time she was a wee thing. I never married or had children, so she became the closest thing I would ever have to a child of my own.

  “I taught her to ride, I helped her out of that big oak tree behind Longbourn when she was stuck and couldn’t get down, and I took her out to the stables when a cat had kittens or one of Mr. Bennet’s hunting dogs had pups.

  “She was a curious, kind, but mischievous child. In time, she grew up, and she gives me a small gift every Christmas and for my birthday.”

  Darcy’s lip curved. “Miss Elizabeth has a generous heart.”

  “That she does.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve also seen the way that girl looks at you and you her. She may think you’ve done a terrible deed now, but when her head’s cleared, I wager she’ll change her mind. I’d hate to see her broken-hearted.”

  He gazed into the pitch-black darkness of the trees. Would Elizabeth listen if he gave her but a few days to calm her ire? Allowing the situation to wait was problematic since an express he had received that afternoon required his removal to London. Elizabeth was to be told before they departed the ball that evening, yet he had never had the chance. He would have given assurances of his swift return, but the summons of his uncle could not be ignored.

  Perhaps if he departed for London, but hastened back at his first opportunity to explain? Elizabeth would learn in time, yet he needed to make clear that he would never harm her sister in such a way.

  “Mr. Darcy?”

  He startled at the lights of Netherfield before them. When had the carriage come to a stop?

  “I thank you for your advice and allowing me to see Miss Elizabeth to Longbourn.”

  Mr. Hill bobbed his head. “You remember what I said, young man.”

  Darcy climbed down and strode inside, hastening to his room before any of the guests could delay his errand. He twisted the ring on his pinkie a few times, fidgeting before he pulled a sheet of paper from his belongings, and dipped his pen in the inkwe
ll. Now, what to write?

  “Mr. Bennet.”

  The gentleman turned with an eyebrow raised that was eerily familiar. “I have wondered where you and Lizzy disappeared but was unable to leave Lydia and Kitty in the sole care of my wife.”

  With a tug at his cravat, Darcy struggled to gain a good breath. “I followed Bingley from the dining room near the end of dinner. I had an urgent matter that begged to be discussed with him.” He kept his voice low. It would not do to be overheard.

  “I fear Miss Elizabeth followed and listened to a portion of our conversation, which she misconstrued. She became furious. I attempted to explain, but—”

  “She would hear none of it?”

  “I attempted to reason with her, yet she would not relent. She insisted upon journeying to Longbourn. Until I forbade her, she was intent on walking as well.”

  Mr. Bennet gave a low laugh. “You forbade her? When she was still young, I learned that was a fool’s errand. She does not take kindly to orders.”

  “I did not use the word forbid, but offered to have my carriage readied. As we made our way to the stables, we happened upon Mr. Hill, who was concerned by Miss Elizabeth’s upset and offered to take her home. He even permitted me to ride atop with him, so I might ensure her safe journey.”

  “So she is now at Longbourn?”

  “Yes, Mrs. Hill ushered Miss Elizabeth inside the moment she alighted.”

  Darcy reached into his inside pocket and removed the letter he had just penned. “Business necessitates my travel to London in the morning. I do not wish to depart with Miss Elizabeth and I on such bad terms, but I have no other choice.”

  Mr. Bennet placed a fatherly hand upon his shoulder. “Son, it is likely for the best. My Lizzy is more apt to end your courtship if you press. A day or two will give her time to calm, then she might be willing to hear your explanation.”

  He held out the missive. “I have prepared this in the event she changes her mind before I can return.” With raised eyebrows, Mr. Bennet glanced down at the letter. “You may read the contents if you feel the need. I have also included my direction in London. Should Miss Elizabeth wish to speak with me, I shall travel to Longbourn on but a day’s notice.”