Me, My Elf & I

by Heather Swain

  “Today some of the men were hunting and they found a man sneaking around up on the bluffs with a camera,” Mom explains. “He’d been taking pictures. He said he wanted to join Drake Addler’s cult. The men told him to get out. They said they’d never heard of you, but he obviously knew you were from near here. Everyone is very upset.” She pauses. I hear her pull in a shuddering breath, then she continues, even shakier than before. “Everyone says it’s the work of the Dark Elves. They’re all so angry with us. They don’t want the children and me to stay. They’ve asked us to go before we cause any more harm but Willow is refusing to come. My brother Cedar has offered to drive us down to Calumet so we can get a bus back to New York. I don’t know what to do.” Then she breaks down and cries.

  I’ve never heard my mother sob. Crying out of sadness is a rare thing for elves. Listening to her weep makes me feel like my chest is being crushed under the weight of a hundred fallen trees, my throat is full of stinging wasps, and my eyes are filled with tiny sharp pebbles. Is this what it feels like to have your heart darken? I don’t know and I don’t care. All I know is that this is Bella’s fault.

  I stay paralyzed and sweating, scrunched inside the pantry as I listen to my dad storm through the house, calling for my brother and me. I keep my eyes closed tightly, trying my best to keep my own cries silent until I hear my father stomping up the stairs. Then I open my eyes and wipe away the stream of tears as best as I can while I search for the book that holds the secret to my perfect sweet revenge. My powers might be weakened and my heart may darken, but I will exact vengeance on Bella, no matter what it does to me.

  chapter 14

  THE NEXT MORNING I dress carefully. I don’t choose my best or most beautiful tunic. In fact, I put on the most ordinary one I own. It’s rusty brown, the color of fall leaves, and has only simple dark brown stitching around the hems. I pull on leggings, my boots, and my hat. These are work clothes where I come from and today I have work to do.

  The last thing I do is put my hunting amulets around my neck. A bear’s tooth that my grandfather gave me for protection. A piece of flint Uncle Cedar carved into the shape of a bobcat for stealth. A small bone from the ankle of a deer that Aunt Flora gave me for swiftness. And a polished river rock for clear vision from Grandma Fawna. Plus, I have one other amulet in my pocket. A new one that I stayed up late last night to make.

  My dad is gone. He left right after he learned Mom, Persimmon, Poppy, and Bramble were banished from Alverland. He’s going to drive along the bus route back toward Michigan until he finds them and can bring them safely back to Brooklyn. Grove is supposed to take care of me, but, of course, he’s still asleep and anyway, I can take care of myself. I shove my books in my knapsack, lock the front door, and head for the subway, prepared for the hunt.

  I’m not scared of the big green doors at BAPAHS anymore. I fling them open. Nor am I intimidated by the crowded halls. I weave through the kids, getting occasional stares from people who know more about my business than they have a right to, but I don’t care. I’m on a mission to find one person and one person alone. I scan the faces for her face. I listen intently for her voice or for someone else to say her name. I know how to track an animal through the forest—this is no different.

  It doesn’t take long to find her perched on top of a table in the center of the courtyard, surrounded by Tara, Chelsea, and Zoe. So predictable. She sits cross-legged with a paper coffee cup in her hand, tossing her hair over her shoulder and laughing between sips of her morning brew. Luckily no one else I know is in the courtyard right now so I hide at a corner table obscured by a trash can and bury my face in a book as if I’m studying. I’ll bide my time, patiently and calmly waiting for the perfect moment in my pursuit.

  The first bell rings and most people gather their belongings. Bella takes her time. Never flustered. Above the rules. This only plays to my advantage. The courtyard empties out. Her gals leave one by one, blowing air kisses to one another as they head off in different directions to their first classes. Bella lingers, finishing her coffee. She’s in no hurry and neither am I. I stay put, head down, waiting for my chance. She picks up her books and heads toward the trash can with her empty coffee cup in hand.

  As soon as she tosses the cup away, I look up. “Oh, Bella!” I say. “I didn’t see you out here. How are you?”

  She narrows her eyes at me, cocks her head slightly to the side as if trying to decide how to play this situation. Then she straightens up. “I’m great,” she says, and brushes past me.

  I join her, step for step. “Hey listen.” I put my hand on her arm to slow her down. “I feel really bad about what happened. You know, with Timber.”

  She pulls her arm away from me as if I’m burning her. “Whatever. I don’t care, you know. I broke up with him. And I was going to long before you came along.”

  “I know,” I say. “But still, you’ve been so nice to me and I just hope that there are no bad feelings between us.”

  “Okay sure.” She slows down and gives me a little smile, but I can see the smirk in the corners of her mouth. “No bad feelings.”

  Before she can turn away, I reach into my pocket. “So I brought you something. It’s an amulet. I remember how much you said you liked mine.” I pull out a long green cord of braided silk. On the end I’ve tied a small linen satchel. “It’s got all kinds of things inside for luck.” She eyes the necklace curiously. “You know, for the audition today.”

  She looks up at me. “Are you still doing that?”

  “I had to go away for a week because my grandma got sick, so I didn’t get to practice.” I push the amulet toward her. “I remember the dress you wore to the first meeting. Mr. O’Donnell really loved it and I thought this would look good with it.” Bella reaches out and snatches the amulet from me. “I really hope you get the part,” I say.

  “Oh, I will,” she says as she saunters away with the amulet swinging from her fist.

  When her back is turned, I close my eyes, press my hands together in front of my heart, and mutter the words from my mother’s book of spells,Beauty fades, quick and cheap.

  Hair goes woolly like a sheep.

  X marks the skin across the face,

  to reveal your heart’s disgrace.

  Bumps and bruises will appear,

  never halting ’til you’re sincere.

  But you won’t see the repulsive maim,

  Because your reflection remains the same.

  I flick my fingers, zapping her with my truest, dark intentions. I open my eyes just in time to see her trip, look down at the ground for the non-existent rock or stick that caught her toe, then disappear around a corner. I turn and head in the opposite direction, but I stop and nearly trip over myself when I see Timber standing in the courtyard, staring at me.

  “What was that all about?” he asks.

  “What? That? With her?” I stammer.

  “Why were you talking to her?” He walks toward me, hands shoved in his pockets.

  “Oh, Bella?” I say innocently, trying to kill a few seconds so I can think up something to tell him.

  “Yes. Bella. I thought you hated her. You said she’s ruining your dad’s life.”

  “Well, I decided that maybe you were right.” I loop my arm through Timber’s and turn him around to walk the other way. We have to get out of here in case Bella comes back. He looks down at me suspiciously. I snuggle closer to his side, like I imagine an erdler girl who can feel one way but talk another might. “Maybe I was being paranoid and like you said, even if she did start some dumb rumor about my dad, it’s not the first one. So I thought I should make friends with her.” I smile up at him but inside I’m not smiling at all. The lie I told seeps deeply into me, like a poisonous spill soaking into the ground.

  He shakes his head and laughs. “You always surprise me,” he says. “You’re such a nice person. That’s refreshing.”

  I can’t meet his eyes after he says that. I drop my arm from his. “Timber,” I sa
y and pause.

  “Yeah?”

  I swallow, forcing myself to stop before I tell him that I’m not as nice as he thinks I am. “You’re a nice refreshing person, too,” I say, then hurry away so he can’t see the darkness in my heart.

  He laughs. “You make me sound like a Sprite.”

  I turn around. “That’s not what I meant,” I apologize. “Wood sprites can be really unpredictable!”

  He looks at me, confused. “The soda?”

  “Sorry!” I call to him, not stopping to explain what he’ll never understand.

  I’m totally distracted in every class for the rest of the morning. All I can think about is whether my spell is working. I keep hoping I’ll pass Bella in the hallway so I can get a look at her, but so far, no such luck. That’s okay, though, I’m sure I’ll see her in the cafeteria, which is where I’m heading, but then Ms. Sanchez stops me.

  “Zephyr.” She lays her hand on my shoulder. “I’d like to see you in my office.”

  “But, but, but . . . ,” I stutter. My heart races and my palms sweat. Am I busted? How could anyone have figured out that I zapped Bella? There’s part of me that doesn’t care, though. I’m glad I did it and I hope it makes Bella’s life as miserable as mine but still I don’t want to get in trouble. “It’s my lunch time,” I tell Ms. Sanchez.

  “It’ll only take a few minutes,” she says. “Come.”

  With my head hanging, I follow Ms. Sanchez into her office.

  I slip into the same chair I sat in my first day at BAPAHS and once again she rests on the edge of her desk. The daisies in the vase are nearly dead, but I can’t save them this time. I may have already cast one too many spells today. I wait for Ms. Sanchez to get on with it.

  “So listen,” she says. “Usually I don’t get involved in conflicts between two students, but this situation isn’t exactly normal.”

  “No, I suppose it’s not,” I admit, then catch myself. I should be denying everything, but I don’t care right now. Girls like Bella will always win no matter what I do.

  “But since I’m Mercedes’s aunt, I feel like it’s warranted that I get involved,” Ms. Sanchez says to me.

  I look up at her, bewildered. “Mercedes?”

  “We know all about the mass e-mail she sent,” she says, and relief floods my body, because this isn’t about me and Bella. “And by now I’m sure that you know Mercedes was suspended and isn’t allowed to audition today.” I nod and Ms. Sanchez continues. “That was her school punishment, but her parents feel it’s important for her to apologize to you and your family. They’ve tried calling your parents, but they haven’t gotten a response, so I said I would speak to you personally to see if we could arrange something. Perhaps you and your parents could come here to meet with Mercedes and her parents if I mediate.”

  I squirm in my seat. I can’t exactly explain that my mom is on a bus somewhere between Michigan and New York and my dad is trying to find her. “I’ll tell my parents,” I say. “But it was no big deal. Really I’m the one who owes an apology to Mercedes.”

  “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to make this work,” Ms. Sanchez says.

  “Is that all?” I ask. She nods and I head for the door, but I pause by her desk. “Are you always so kind to everyone?”

  She laughs. “Depends on who you ask, I suppose.” Then she comes over and puts her arm around my shoulder. “Developing kindness and compassion is part of becoming mature,” she says. “It’s something we’re all learning and always working on.”

  “Oh,” I say, surprised. “I didn’t realize . . .” but I stop because I can’t tell her that for me it’s backward. Erdlers have to learn kindness, but I’ve had to learn how to be mean to survive my first few weeks of high school.

  When I get to the lunch room I find Timber sitting alone, draining a can of orange soda as most of the other students pack up their stuff. Bella’s not around, so I’ll have to wait until the end of the day to find out if my spell worked.

  His face lights up when he sees me, sending a sparkly chill down my back like an icicle dropped into my tunic. “Hey, I was looking for you,” he says. “You ran off so fast this morning.”

  “Sorry. I had to get to class. And just now Ms. Sanchez needed to see me.”

  “You in trouble?” He stands and lifts his tray from the table. Before I can answer, he says, “I’m kidding. Do you ever get in trouble?”

  “Well . . .”

  “Please,” says Timber as he crams the remnants of his lunch into the trash. “You’re the nicest girl I know.”

  “I wish you’d stop saying that,” I tell him.

  “What’s wrong with being nice?” he asks.

  “I’m not as nice as you think,” I say.

  Timber puts his hand on my shoulder. His touch is warm and comforting. “Believe me, I know mean girls and you’re not one of them,” he says.

  Now everything is a mess. My family is in trouble. I’m losing what I worked so hard to get in Brooklyn—my friends, the audition today. And, if Timber finds out what I did to Bella, I’ll lose him, too.

  “What are you doing after school today?” he asks.

  “The ELPH audition,” I remind him.

  “What about later?”

  “Why?” I ask, confused.

  “I thought maybe we could talk. I could IM you.”

  “I don’t think I can.”

  “Oh,” he says, and shoves his hands deep into his pockets.

  “No, I mean, it’s just that . . .” I stumble over my words. “I don’t have a computer at home so how about if you call me instead?”

  “You mean on the phone? A real live conversation with words and sound and everything? Isn’t that moving a little too fast? We’d actually have to think of clever things to say with our mouths instead of typing stupid one-liners followed by bouncing smiley faces.”

  I narrow my eyes at him for a moment. “You’re kidding, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I am.” He slings his arm around my shoulders and pulls me out of the cafeteria with him. “I can definitely call you on the good old-fashioned telephone.”

  Relieved, I wish I could stay tucked against his side for the rest of the day, where I feel so safe right now. Where no one would dare bother me. Where I wouldn’t have to deal with the stupid messes I’ve gotten myself into with Bella, Ari, and Mercedes. But the coziness of this moment is short-lived because we reach the stairs.

  “Where are you going now?” he asks.

  “Downstairs,” I say. “History.”

  “I’m going up.” He slips his arm off my shoulders. “So, I’ll talk to you tonight?”

  “Tonight,” I confirm as I watch him take the steps two at a time.

  “And hey,” he calls down to me. I gaze up at him leaning over the railing. “Good luck at the audition!”

  “Thanks,” I call after him, but the truth is luck’s got nothing to do with it at this point.

  The audition is held in the auditorium. Mr. O’Donnell, looking much better without the giant sweat rings under his arms, sits at a table on the stage with two women. Next to them is a guy with long dread-locks adjusting a video camera on a tripod. Across the stage from them is a white screen with a giant cardboard cutout of the ELPH camera. Several girls are already in the seats in front of the stage and others are filing through the doors. I scan the room for Bella, but she’s not here yet. I hope I didn’t make the spell so strong that she won’t even show up. That’s not like her, though. Since she can’t see what’s happening to her, she’ll never suspect how horrid she looks. And even if she feels odd, she’ll be here because she’d never miss an audition.

  I take a seat in the front row so I can turn and watch the door. While I wait, Rienna enters. She’s wearing a pale pink tunic, a short suede skirt, and brown leather boots but no fairy wings. She looks really cute and I raise my hand to wave at her, expecting her to ignore me, but she smiles and hurries down to where I’m sitting.

  “Oh my God
! I didn’t know you were back.” She plops into the seat next to me and talks a mile a minute. “There were so many rumors about what happened to you when you didn’t come to school.” I try to look interested in what she says while still keeping an eye on the door. “People said that Bella threatened to kick your butt after you stole Timber and you left Brooklyn because you were scared but I was like, no way, she wouldn’t do that. Zephyr doesn’t even care what Bella thinks. And anyway, Zephyr could totally kick Bella’s butt! And they were like . . .”

  I can’t quite keep track of what she’s talking about, then I tune her out when I see Chelsea come down the aisle toward the stage. I can’t believe Timber thinks she’s okay. Even the way she walks in her little green minidress is snotty. She looks my way. We lock eyes for a moment. I expect a sneer or a snide remark from her, but for some weird reason she nods at me quickly then takes a seat on the other side of the room.

  “Anyway, now you’re back. Which is so awesome,” Rienna says. “And hey, I saw your dad on TV. I didn’t know that was your dad. And your brother! He’s totally hot!”

  This catches my attention. “My brother?”

  “Does he have a girlfriend?” she asks.

  I snort. “No.”

  “I heard he dates models,” Rienna says.

  I bust out laughing because I can’t imagine Grove dating anyone, let alone an erdler model, but then I stop, because I could’ve never imagined myself kissing the yummiest erdler guy in my school. Good gracious, our lives are so upside down!

  Rienna jabs her elbow into my side. “Oh my God!” she whispers loudly. “What the . . .” She points to the back of the room. I turn in my seat to see Bella stomping down the aisle.

  She’s wearing the same green dress with a brown sash from the first meeting but this time instead of the silver leaf pendant, she’s got on the necklace I gave her, which isn’t an amulet for luck. I filled it with the worst things I could find in my mother’s stash of herbs—bloodroot, hemlock, dropwort, spurge, and yes, even deadly nightshade, a.k.a. belladonna—then I zapped it with hexes of stupidity, lazy tongue, and dizzy spells just for good measure.