Love Bears All Things

by Beth Wiseman

  “Of course not.” Annie frowned. “We might only go to school through the eighth grade, but girls know how this works. I haven’t had a period in six months.”

  Charlotte took a deep breath in an effort to calm her fears. “I’m not really talking about a period. I was just wondering if you were spotting, you know . . . like having a few drops of blood occasionally.” Charlotte remembered when a girl she used to work with started spotting in her second trimester and ended up losing the baby. But Annie shook her head.

  “Nee. No blood. I, uh . . . have to go to the bathroom a lot, though.”

  Charlotte took a step closer to her. “Can I feel your stomach?”

  Annie shrugged. “I guess. It’s been crampy like this before, but then it goes away.”

  Charlotte laid a hand on Annie’s middle. There was a small pooch, but nothing to indicate Annie was six months pregnant. She had to have miscalculated. “When was your last doctor’s appointment?”

  “I haven’t been to the doctor. Jacob said you can’t get pregnant from only one time. I didn’t take the test for a while after we . . .” She frowned. “After we were bad.”

  Charlotte fought to keep the worry from her voice. “We need to get you checked out by a doctor.”

  Annie put both hands on her stomach and blinked, her bottom lip trembling. “Why? What do you think is wrong?”

  Charlotte wasn’t going to alarm Annie in case she was wrong. But she hadn’t gained much weight, and if there was a baby, it wasn’t moving. “I’m not saying anything is wrong. You took a pregnancy test, right?”

  “Ya, one of those kinds you do at home. It said it’s 99 percent accurate.”

  Charlotte went back to the truck and returned with her phone. She googled clinics in the area and called the nearest one. Since Annie was listening, she just said, “I have a friend who is young and six months pregnant, but she hasn’t been to a doctor. Can I bring her in today?”

  The woman on the other end of the line said their schedule was full today, but asked if it was urgent. Charlotte glanced at Annie. “I’m not sure, maybe.” She waited while the woman found a slot to squeeze Annie in, then once she’d hit End, Charlotte told Annie that her appointment was at three o’clock.

  Twelve

  Jacob pulled his suitcase out from under his bed and opened it. Then he shut it and put it back. His urge to run off was stronger than ever. He’d even taken his telescope out the night before, remembering how much he used to enjoy looking at the stars, then reading about the various constellations. But he was sick of reading about constellations and sick of reading about everything else out in the Englisch world that he wasn’t able to see or do. Then he recalled his time in Texas and thought how it wasn’t all that grand either.

  “What is wrong with me, Lord?” His mind was messed up. He’d done wrong by Annie, first by getting her pregnant, and now by not wanting to be with her. What kind of a man had he turned into? Nothing was right in his head. It was hard to get out of bed some mornings. And he’d done something over the past week that he’d never done before. He’d bought some pills from an Englisch boy he knew. Pills that made you feel not so messed up. He’d taken two last night.

  Jacob could already picture his parents dragging him by his ears to marry Annie. And Annie would marry him because her own father would insist on it. What if they really loved each other, but not the way you’re supposed to if you’re planning to get married? But after his last conversation with Annie, he wasn’t sure the choice was his to make anymore.

  He pulled his pants on and slipped on a maroon long-sleeved shirt to hide his tattoo, then he sat down on the edge of his bed and put his face in his hands. And for the second time in recent memory, he cried. The burden of his actions bore down on him so hard he could barely breathe.

  Annie looked around the clinic, a small place with maybe a dozen people waiting to see a doctor. Charlotte sat next to her, but they’d barely spoken on their way here. Something was wrong. Annie could feel it, and Charlotte’s somber expression and mood were apparent, even though Charlotte was obviously trying to hide her concern.

  God is punishing me.

  “Annie Byler.”

  Charlotte stood up when Annie did, and they walked toward a nurse dressed in blue pants and a blue shirt. She looked about the same age as Charlotte. The name on the woman’s badge read Amelia. Annie could only recall one person she’d ever met with that name, and she hadn’t been a very nice lady. This Amelia said hello, but with little enthusiasm.

  After Amelia took Annie’s blood pressure and temperature, she asked her to get on the scale. She’d gained seven pounds since she’d found out she was pregnant. That didn’t seem like much to Annie. Then Annie had to give the nurse a urine sample.

  They followed Amelia down a hallway. It smelled of ammonia and something else Annie didn’t recognize. Amelia asked them to wait in a small room until the doctor came in.

  She and Charlotte sat down in two chairs against the wall. Annie eyed the table in the middle of the room. It had a white paper covering, and hanging at the end, on both sides, were metal rings shaped like ovals. She knew that’s where she’d have to put her feet for the doctor to examine her. She started to tremble, wondering if it was going to hurt. And worrying if her baby was okay. She wouldn’t have reason to think this if Charlotte hadn’t scared her.

  “Will they tell me if it’s a boy or a girl? Will they know that?”

  “They might do an ultrasound,” Charlotte said with an insincere smile. “Then I guess it’s up to you if you want to know the sex.”

  Annie cringed just hearing the word that had gotten her into this mess in the first place. Please, God, let my baby be okay. She felt crampy again.

  About thirty minutes later, a doctor with gray hair and gold-framed glasses walked into the room and introduced himself as Dr. Newton.

  Annie burst into tears.

  Charlotte paced outside the room as a tearful Annie underwent her first ever vaginal exam. A few minutes later, Dr. Newton and Amelia came out of the room.

  “Annie is getting dressed, then I’ll let her fill you in on the details.”

  Charlotte couldn’t stand it. “Is she okay?”

  Dr. Newton nodded. “She seems to be just fine.” He walked away before Charlotte could question him further. She waited a minute for Annie to get dressed, then tapped on the door.

  “Come in.”

  Annie was sitting on the examining table fully dressed in her dark green smock and black apron. Her prayer covering was lopsided, but she had a broad smile on her face. “Thank goodness you’re okay. The baby is okay too?”

  Annie jumped off the table, bounced on her toes, and locked eyes with Charlotte, still grinning. “I’m not pregnant.”

  Charlotte just stood there. “Huh?”

  “The doctor said that sometimes a pregnancy test will show that you’re pregnant, but you’re really not. He said I might have done the test wrong, but I don’t think I did. The cup I used could have been contaminated, like by soap or detergent. Or if the pregnancy test had expired, it might have shown a positive sign. But whatever it was, I’m not going to have a baby.”

  “But you gained weight, and you missed your periods. What did the doctor say about that?”

  Annie shrugged. “I only gained seven pounds.” She tapped a finger to her chin. “Probably from all the cupcakes I ate when I first thought I was pregnant. I couldn’t get enough of them. I gave myself permission to eat anything I wanted. And the doctor said my missed periods could be stress.” She lifted up on her toes again. “Either way, he said I am not pregnant. They did a test with my urine, and it came out negative, and they did an ultrasound. They took my blood too. They’ll call me in twenty-four hours with the results from that, but he’s sure I’m not pregnant.” She raised the sleeve of her dress to show Charlotte a cotton ball held with tape. “He wants me to follow up with my regular doctor about my missed periods. I’ve missed my monthlies before, but never
six months in a row. But there is no baby.”

  “Wow.” This was a much better prognosis than Charlotte could have imagined, but as she recalled all of the drama, she wondered how things had gotten to this point. Everything happens for a reason. She let that thought soak in for a minute.

  On the way home, Annie called Daniel and filled him in on the news from her doctor visit. It was a brief call, and she said they’d arrive home shortly. She asked her brother to tell Jacob. She wasn’t ready to talk to him just yet.

  Daniel found his parents after Annie called, and when he told them Annie wasn’t pregnant, it was as if the clouds had parted and rained mixed blessings down on them. His mother cried, which she did a lot these days, and Daniel honestly couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad. But his father’s smile filled his face. It was quickly replaced by a scowl.

  “Annie will not see that boy.” His father looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders, then grunted.

  Daniel wasn’t sure Annie wanted to be with Jacob, but one thing he knew for certain—tell a seventeen-year-old they can’t do something, and that’s all they’ll want to do. But now was not the time to push the issue. “Annie asked me to tell Jacob, and I think it’s best to do it in person. She doesn’t want to see him right now.”

  “Ya, ya,” his mother said as she dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her apron.

  Daniel found Jacob at his house, in the driveway washing down the buggies. Jacob turned off the water when Daniel stepped out of the buggy.

  “What’s wrong? Is it Annie? The baby?” Jacob asked as he met up with Daniel in the yard.

  “Annie is fine. She went to the doctor, and she’s okay. And Jacob . . .” Daniel paused, unsure how Jacob was going to react. “There is no baby. There never was. Annie isn’t pregnant.”

  Jacob’s mouth fell open as jumbled thoughts appeared to assault his senses. A glazed look fell over his face, and Daniel noticed that his eyes were glassy, as though he’d been sleeping, not washing the buggies on a sunny afternoon.

  “You okay?” Daniel asked as he stroked the stubble on his chin, eyeing the boy.

  “Ya, ya.” Jacob took off his straw hat and ran a hand through his blond hair. “I guess this is gut news.”

  Daniel recalled everyone saying a baby was a blessing, but he felt relief in this news, especially for Annie and Jacob, who surely didn’t seem ready to be parents. Neither of them knew what they wanted. He waited for Jacob to absorb this news as the boy put his hat back on, his eyes still unfocused and red. Jacob had probably had his share of sleepless nights, like Annie, but this looked like something more than lack of sleep.

  “Jacob . . .” Daniel waited for Jacob to look at him. “Our father feels strongly you and Annie need some time apart.” He waited to let that soak in. “And Annie doesn’t want to see or talk to you right now.”

  Jacob nodded just before Daniel turned back to his buggy.

  Charlotte kissed the envelope that held her check, the big one she’d been waiting for. Then she closed her laptop and set it on the foot of the bed. She’d just finished a big editing project—and much faster than she normally would have back home. She could give Ryan credit for that since she wasn’t wasting her time worrying that he was cheating on her. It had become a fact. Plus, there were a lot fewer distractions living without electricity.

  She could hear faint giggling from the porch downstairs. Hannah and Isaac. Hopefully, now that Jacob and Annie were home, life could get back to normal for all of them, except for their non-Amish friend who was staying with them for a while.

  Charlotte stretched out her legs and crossed her ankles in the dimly lit room. As she lay her head against her pillow, she thought about Ethan. What would it be like if he were alive now? Chances were good that Charlotte would have continued her old way of thinking—that the Amish were some sort of cult—so she wouldn’t have come for a visit last year and never would have understood why Ethan chose to live here. She wouldn’t have met Hannah and her family. Every single thing that had happened in her life had led her to this exact moment in time, all according to God’s perfect plan. And maybe if she said that over and over in her head, she’d understand what God’s perfect plan was for her. Or maybe she wasn’t supposed to know.

  She missed Buddy, who was still choosing the foot of Amos’s bed and not hers. She didn’t get too far into that thought when her phone rang.

  “Is it too late to be calling?” Daniel asked when she answered.

  “No, it’s fine. I just finished working, and Hannah is downstairs with Isaac. How did your parents take the news that Annie isn’t pregnant?”

  “I know Daed was happy to hear it. I’m not sure about Mamm. I think she might have gotten used to the idea of being a grandmother.”

  “It’s probably normal to have mixed emotions. Although Annie didn’t seem to have any. She was elated by the news. What about Jacob? What did he have to say?”

  “Uh, well . . .” Daniel exhaled. “He was happy, I think. But the boy didn’t look normal to me. His eyes were red and bloodshot, a little glazed over.”

  “He’s probably tired and worried about all this.”

  Daniel was quiet for a few moments. “He looked drunk.”

  Charlotte sat taller against her pillow. She’d never seen alcohol at the King house. But she recalled the dazed, drunken look her mother used to get after Charlotte’s dad had knocked her around. And Mom had gotten the same look after Dad had gone to prison—then it was her mother who started knocking Charlotte and Ethan around. But there was always more than booze involved. If her parents could be credited with anything, it would be that Charlotte didn’t abuse alcohol or drugs, and to her knowledge, Ethan hadn’t either. They’d seen the effects of addiction much too young. Face your demons, Charlotte, she could hear her therapist saying. No thank you.

  “Do you think Jacob takes drugs? Like recreationally?” That seemed unlikely in an Amish community, but maybe she was naive to think that.

  “Nee, we have our problems like everyone else. But if our teens are doing drugs, I’ve never heard anything about it.”

  Charlotte was aware that she was overly fearful about suicide. Every time she heard someone was depressed, she wanted to jump in and save them. But she had to believe that Jacob was just tired and stressed. “Maybe things will settle down for all of you now.”

  “I’m going to have to trust that Annie and Jacob will make the right choices.”

  Charlotte smiled again, warmed by Daniel’s evident love of his sister.

  “I wanted to let you know that I got your plumbing all fixed.”

  “Thank you so much for doing that.”

  “And how much was Annie’s doctor’s visit? She said you paid for it, but she couldn’t remember how much it was. I’ll pay you back—just let me know the amount.”

  Charlotte wasn’t going to mention the money, but it was nice of Daniel to offer to reimburse her. “Consider it payment for the plumbing work.”

  “Nee, nee. You bought the parts, so I’m not out anything but a little time.”

  They chatted for a few more minutes, but when Daniel thanked her again for taking good care of Annie, there was an air of finality in his voice that left Charlotte feeling . . . sad.

  “Well, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you a little bit,” she said. “I love it here, but I couldn’t stand it if everyone still saw me as Mary Troyer. She’s gone forever, replaced by Charlotte Dolinsky—what you see is what you get.”

  Daniel chuckled. “I like Charlotte a lot better than Mary anyway.”

  Annie pried her ear from Daniel’s door. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but on her way back from the bathroom, she’d heard her name, so she’d stopped outside his bedroom door. Her own love life might be in shambles, but she was happy to hear Charlotte and Daniel getting to know each other. She wanted more than anything for Daniel to be happy. Annie hadn’t cared all that much for Edna, as she’d broken Daniel’s heart. And she didn’t seem to be genuine when
she spoke. Charlotte had proven herself to be a good person. But Charlotte isn’t Amish. Maybe they’d both be better off just staying friends. But then she thought about how Ethan had joined the Amish for Hannah. It happens.

  She lay down on her bed and put a hand across her empty stomach. Life would be easier now that she and Jacob would be able to make decisions for themselves without another life to consider. But she’d gotten used to the idea of having a baby, so she felt an emptiness despite her relief. She couldn’t sleep, so she turned up the lantern. She thought about Jacob. Was he happy she wasn’t pregnant? Would he still want to get married? Did she? She wondered what he was doing right now.

  Jacob latched onto the handrail as he fought his way down the stairs, his socked feet threatening to slide out from under him. He was almost to the landing when he heard footsteps behind him. When he glanced over his shoulder, it was just enough to throw him off balance, and he landed on his behind with a thud. He looked up to see Hannah in her robe and bare feet offering him a hand. He accepted and moaned as he stood up.

  “What are you doing?” Hannah let go of him and thrust her hands on her hips. “It’s one in the morning.”

  “I’m getting a glass of water. Someone moved the glass that was in our bathroom.” He sneered at her. “What are you doing up?”

  She leaned closer to him and sniffed. Jacob backed up a little but had to catch himself before he stumbled.

  “Have you been drinking alcohol?”

  “Nee,” he said in a whisper, frowning.

  “I heard you banging into the walls going down the hallway to get to the stairs, like you’re a drunkard.”

  “I didn’t want to take a chance of waking you or Charlotte by bringing the lantern.”

  “Ach, well . . . this is better. You falling down the stairs. You’d better hope we don’t wake up Charlotte’s dog. He’ll go nuts and wake up everyone.” Hannah pulled a flashlight from the robe in her pocket and shined it in front of them as they went down the last couple of stairs and crossed the living room to the kitchen. “Charlotte told me that Daniel said you acted weird when he told you about Annie not being pregnant.”