Till Death Do Us Bark

by Judi McCoy

  “It’s Mr. T to you, Auntie Nut Job.”

  “And you can call me Auntie Arlene, too.” She clasped Rudy to her ample chest. “Oh, you’re a cuddly one, aren’t you?”

  “Aargghhh! I can’t breathe,” Rudy yelped as she continued to snuggle him to her bosom.

  Still smiling, Arlene stood. “They are so adorable. I know they’ll have fun with my babies and the rest of the pack. There are about six dogs in the fenced area I set up in the backyard, but I’m expecting more. You can take them there as soon as you’re settled.” She sidestepped to the trunk, where Viv was wrestling with the bags. “Now, Vivie, I have someone who can do that for you.” She cupped her hands around her mouth. “Julio! Julio, where are you?”

  Ellie held on to the dogs’ leashes, exhausted by Arlene’s frenetic chatter. The bubbly woman was either experiencing an adrenaline rush from seeing her youngest sister for the first time in months, or panicked about hosting her weekend wedding.

  Arlene gazed into the trunk and grabbed the smallest bag. “Oh, this is lovely. Louis Vuitton does such a beautiful job.”

  Viv just shook her head and let Arlene continue.

  “Julio? Julio! Where is that man?” After stomping her Ferragamos, Arlene scrunched her face. “We have to get out of this sun. I can’t afford any more wrinkles. Just carry what you need and leave the trunk open. Julio will bring everything inside and up to your room.”

  “Where’re Mom and Dad and the rest of the family?” Viv asked before Arlene could leave.

  She waved a manicured hand toward the cottage. “In the guesthouse with Adrianne. They decided to throw a little afternoon get-together to keep whoever is staying here busy while I took care of things in the house.”

  “And Dr. Kent?”

  “He’s still seeing patients. The man is so busy, I have to remind him we’re getting married tomorrow.” Arlene stared at the main house. “Julio! I need you!”

  “What about the rest of the guests?” asked Ellie, hoping to calm down the bride-to-be. She was dying to find out how many people had been invited and what kind of dogs they owned.

  “I booked a floor at the Montauk Manor. They’re dog-friendly, and it’s just down the road. The group is scheduled for a round of golf or spa treatments for today, and the hotel van will bring those who didn’t drive over tonight, and again tomorrow afternoon.” She heaved a breath. “I just don’t know how I’m going to get everything done.”

  “But I thought you hired a wedding planner,” said Viv.

  “I did, but she was a disaster. Ran out on me yesterday without a word. Thank God Rosa’s daughters have pitched in or I don’t know where I’d be.”

  “And the caterer?”

  “Mario and his men will be here in an hour. Rosa’s in charge of the terrace and they’re taking care of the backyard. Wait until you see the tent they erected. It’s beautiful.”

  “Can’t Mother and Adrianne help with the details?”

  “Those sticks-in-the-mud? Absolutely not.” Arlene headed for the front door. “Julio! Julio! Where is that—”

  “I’m tired just watching her,” Ellie said as Arlene stalked off, talking to the air.

  “She’s always been a ditz, but it appears this weekend has her running in circles. I can’t believe the wedding planner quit just like that.”

  After watching Viv’s sister, Ellie was on the planner’s side, but she kept the comment to herself. She’d only been in Arlene’s presence for ten minutes and she felt as if she’d run a marathon.

  Viv hoisted her shoulder bag and walked toward the front porch. “You coming?”

  “Let me take the dogs for a quick trip outside first,” Ellie called, leading the boys to the street.

  “That woman has a couple of screws loose,” said Rudy, lifting his leg against the base of the mailbox.

  “No kiddin’,” grumped T. “I can’t believe we’re related.”

  “Related?” Ellie hid a smile.

  “Auntie Arlene?” Rudy muttered. “I don’t want an auntie anybody.”

  “Me, neither,” T agreed.

  After the dogs did their business, she pulled her scoop bags from her tote. It wouldn’t hurt to be a concerned pet owner, even if this neighborhood didn’t have a cleanup law.

  Just then, her cell phone rang. When she checked caller ID, she grinned. Sam had asked her to call him as soon as they arrived. His ESP was working at full throttle. “Hi. Are you through with your afternoon in court?”

  “Yes, and I’m happy to add that my testimony put the mope and his attorney on the run,” said Sam, a trace of swagger in his voice. “Right after the defense attorney questioned me, he asked for a continuance. Seems he didn’t like what I had to say about his boy.”

  “Then congratulations are in order. We can celebrate when I get home.” Things had been going well since stalwart Detective Sam Ryder had moved into her place two months ago. “We’re here, by the way, and it’s beautiful.”

  “Glad to hear you arrived in one piece. So tell me, did Viv blow the clutch on that big-deal BMW?”

  Ellie bit out a laugh. “It was slow going for a while, but once we made it to the highway, she got the hang of it.”

  “Just be careful tooling around out there. I hear the cops ‘out east’ are tough on the speeding laws.”

  “Like I said, I don’t intend to do any ‘tooling around.’ Vivie wanted that car, so she’s going to drive it. All Rudy and I want is peace and quiet, time on the beach, and a bit of sightseeing. Maybe some shopping, and we’ll be set.” She cleared her throat. She didn’t want to sound like his mother, but . . . “Any plans for tonight?”

  “I’m going home and eating in. I’ll be thinking about you, babe. You’ll call if you need me, right?”

  The longing in his voice made her heart melt. Her big brave NYPD homicide detective rarely said the words, but he told her he loved her in a lot of little ways. “I’ll call. And, Sam?”

  “I’m still here.”

  “I’ll be thinking of you, too.” She snapped the phone closed and tucked it away in her bag. Knowing that Sam would miss her was sweet, because she was going to—

  “All right already. Enough with the mushy stuff. Get us inside,” ordered Rudy, pulling at his lead alongside Mr. T.

  She dug in her heels to stop being dragged up the driveway. “Hang on a second. Remember those rules we talked about?”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be good, no fighting, no whining, and no begging at the table.”

  “And be polite.”

  “Polite is my middle name,” her boy announced, prancing into the house.

  “Me, too,” said T. “Unless some fool starts actin’ stupid. Then all bets are off.”

  Inside, they were met by a short, middle-aged Hispanic man wearing a white jacket and black pants. “Welcome. I am Julio Suarez, Rosa’s esposo.”

  “Hello. I’m a friend of Vivian, the bride’s sister.”

  “I get your bags and bring them to your room. Miss Arlene, she say you go right at the top of the stairs and find her.”

  He went out the door and Ellie led the dogs to the sweeping curved staircase, where she stopped to gaze at a lovely distressed oak table butted against a sky blue wall. Even though New York was a harbor town, and she’d visited the seaport and been to the beaches when she was younger, she’d never collected finds from the ocean. This week was her chance.

  “Are we just gonna stand here, or are you gonna move it along?” said a voice.

  She gazed down at her questioning canine. When she’d gone to pick out a dog from a local shelter after the demise of her marriage, she had gotten the surprise of her life to realize that she could communicate with the yorkiepoo. He was the reincarnation of the dog she’d been devastated to lose ten years earlier. “I thought I’d bring you and T to the dog area, so you could meet the resident Boston Terriers and get a drink of water.”

  “Water sounds good, but if any of them black-and-white bug-eyed geeks try to get chummy, I
’m gonna do some damage.”

  “Now, T, from what I’ve read, Boston Terriers are friendly and intelligent. I thought you had a change of heart and decided to be nice to your fellow canines.”

  “Nice? Yes. Chummy? Not in this lifetime.”

  Julio took that moment to enter the house loaded down with Viv’s Louis Vuitton luggage and Ellie’s single large black wheeler. “Why you no go up?” he asked, dropping the bags on the tile.

  “I think it’s better if I get the dogs settled first.”

  The houseman grinned. “Ah, sí, sí. The pen is through there.” He pointed to the dining room. “Find my Rosa. She will show you the way.” He slung a travel bag over his shoulder, tucked a smaller case under his arm, lifted the two largest pieces, one in each hand, and headed up the stairs.

  Impressed by the man’s strength, Ellie smiled. According to Viv, Julio, Rosa, and their girls were Arlene’s friends as well as her housekeepers. She’d even gone to the trouble of hiring extra help for the big day so they wouldn’t be overtaxed by the guests.

  She headed into the dining room to find Rosa. If everyone actually brought a dog, the weekend could erupt into canine chaos. She only hoped that when people discovered her profession, they wouldn’t expect her to take control of any badly behaved dogs.

  This was her vacation.

  A few hours later, armed with a glass of white wine, Ellie sat people-watching in a far corner of the enormous terrace. Viv had introduced her parents, Evan and Vanessa McCready, and Adrianne, the middle sister, a short while ago, and Viv was now making the rounds greeting family. Ellie, on the other hand, enjoyed hanging back and observing her fellow man. And with this group, there was a lot to observe.

  First off, unless she counted her mother’s over-the-top Sunday brunches, she’d never been in the presence of so much Armani, Versace, or Elie Saab. Even Vivian had been impressed, and happy she’d had the good sense to arrive with the entire Ralph Lauren summer collection.

  Unless she let Viv take her in hand to shop, Ellie wore regular clothes from regular stores, and didn’t care a whit if anyone thought her out of fashion. Thanks to her mom’s and Viv’s lectures, she recognized many of the “in” designers, and she was smart enough to know that bell-bottoms, button-down oxford shirts, and Crocs were passé. Wearing comfortable clothes that complemented her curvy figure was all that mattered.

  Viv hadn’t let Ellie down. She’d been her usual honest and sharp-witted self throughout the evening, including making a joke out of the McCready clan’s perpetual name-dropping and flaunting of wealth. As for Arlene, instead of posturing, she’d been acting more like a bumblebee on speed. Wearing a yellow ruffled top à la Donna Karan, tight black leggings, and a pair of Kadreyas, one of the newest Christian Louboutin summer styles, with four-inch heels, she’d flitted from group to group, giving air kisses, shouting to Julio and Rosa, and running herd on the hired help. She’d even gushed over her three Boston Terriers, the only dogs allowed on the terrace for the party.

  Arlene referred to this part of the night as the “family hour,” which meant the twelve or so guests present were those staying on the property. The real party was supposed to start with the arrival of the several dozen friends housed at Montauk Manor, but that wouldn’t happen for another half hour.

  Looking for Vivian, Ellie scanned the crowd. She’d met Scott and Miriam, Viv’s aunt and uncle, and their adult children, Christian and Faith, a cousin Denise from somewhere on the family tree, and a group of four, each of whose first name started with the letter R, from Evan’s side of the family. No way could she keep them straight.

  She’d only met two people who claimed to be personal friends of the soon-to-be-groom. One was a tall, rawboned woman named Sabrina Bordowski. She was attractive, in a frigid sort of way, and she insisted on being called Dr. B. Her companion was a heavyset older man resembling a bulldog in both size and temperament, who’d been introduced as Martin Kent’s uncle Mickey.

  Still searching, she spotted a good-looking guy standing in the opposite corner of the terrace. She had yet to meet him, but he was alone, just like her, and he seemed to be people-watching as well. Strange, she thought, he’s too attractive to be here alone. Who was he and why hadn’t Viv filled her in?

  When their eyes met, the mystery man smiled and raised his glass, and heat inched from Ellie’s chest to her cheeks. Great, he probably thought she was interested in him, but she wasn’t, at least not in that way. The living arrangement she and Sam shared was working out fine, thank you very much, and Sam had high marks in the hunk department, too. Still, something about this guy set off warning bells in her brain.

  She finally located Vivian talking with two older women, and focused on them instead of the stranger. A moment later, Viv was leading the ladies toward her.

  “You are not going to believe this,” said Viv when she arrived with the women. “These are my aunts, Elsie and Connie.” She cocked her head. “Well, they’re sort of my aunts. Elsie was married to my father’s stepbrother, who died about ten years ago, and Connie is her sister, so we’re related somehow . . . and maybe removed a few times? They’re in a room down the hall from us.”

  Ellie smiled at the beaming ladies. “I’m Ellie Engleman. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “I’m Elsie Hogarth.” The shorter, dark-haired woman spoke first. “Went back to my maiden name after I lost the mister. I had no idea I’d get to meet you here.”

  Ellie searched her brain. She’d heard the name before, but not from Viv. So where?

  They shook hands and Elsie continued. “I’m caretaker for a tiny white Poodle named Coco, and the two of us live in the Davenport with my sister, Connie, and her Jack-a-Bee, Greta.”

  Coco? The Davenport? Ah, now she remembered.

  “I think Randall mentioned you last summer. Your Coco received a bundle in a will, correct?”

  “That’s right. I guess Viv didn’t think to mention me.” Elsie gave her “almost” niece a pointed look. “We sort of lost touch over the past few years.”

  Vivian locked gazes with Ellie. “Mother never told me about Elsie’s position as Coco’s guardian,” she said, pleading her case. “If I’d known I would have introduced you last summer when Rudy got his inheritance.” After taking a sip of her merlot, she grinned at the women. “Now that I know how close you both are, I’ll drop in to see you whenever you want company.”

  “I’m Connie Whipple,” the other sister broke in, shaking Ellie’s hand. “Just moved here from North Carolina. When I lost my husband, Elsie was kind enough to offer Greta and me a home. We heard you were a dog walker.”

  “I’ve been meaning to ask Randall about you,” added Elsie. “Now that there are two dogs in the apartment, Connie and I could use a professional walker.”

  Getting good vibes from both women, Ellie decided not to give the I’m-on-vacation excuse she had planned to use if anyone asked her to look after their dog. “How about if I stop in to see you after I return home? We can talk about my rate and the time I’m scheduled to do runs at your building then.”

  “We’d love it,” said Connie, a smile crinkling her face. “Greta’s a Jack Russell–Beagle mix, and she’s only three, so she’s full of energy, and sometimes . . . well, you’ll see.”

  “Don’t worry,” Ellie assured her. “Vivian has a Jack Russell, and he’s a bit on the wild side, too. My dog and I get along with him just fine.”

  Arlene took that moment to join them. After giving the aunts a nod, she clutched Viv’s hand. “You’ve got to help me. I’ve looked everywhere, and I can’t find Martin.”

  When Arlene mentioned her fiancé, Vivian set her empty wineglass on a passing waiter’s tray and put her free hand on a hip. “I’d be happy to help, Arlene, but you’re forgetting something. I have yet to meet the man. I thought you’d been hiding him somewhere for a big unveiling.”

  “Hiding him? Of course not. He’s been with patients all afternoon. He gets so involved in caring for them he some
times forgets to come up for dinner. I sent Julio to get him at least twenty minutes ago.” She huffed out a breath. “And where did Mickey go? If that man went to the cottage and corralled him into talking about business, I’m going to pitch a fit.” She scanned the terrace. “And Dr. B? Where the hell is everyone?”

  Ellie gazed over the crowd and saw why Arlene might be concerned. The bulldoggish Mickey appeared to be missing, and it sounded as if he was a business acquaintance—not a real uncle. But who in the heck was Dr. B, that Arlene thought she was so important?

  Arlene stomped her foot. “This is crazy. It’s our night to celebrate, and he’s supposed to be here.” She heaved another sigh. “And his so-called close friends, too.”

  “Maybe he got cold feet after he met some of your family,” teased Viv. “Just remember, you can’t blame me.”

  Arlene missed the humor in her baby sister’s statement. “Something must have happened to him, but I can’t imagine what.” Spinning in a circle, she broke out in a full-fledged dither. “Julio! Julio! Oh, where is that man?”

  “Awwwk! Julio! Awwwk! Where is that man! Awwwk!”

  Mimicking Arlene’s voice to a T, a large parrot who’d been tucked in a corner near Ellie burst into the fray by flapping his wings and wagging his head. Ellie had noticed him earlier. She’d watched his beady eyes follow folks as they passed, and kept to herself. Birds were not high on her list of animal favorites, and she hadn’t wanted to rouse his curiosity, so she’d kept her fingers to herself and ignored him.

  The guests laughed, but Arlene began to wring her hands and pace. “I’m going to send a few of the catering staff out to look for the four of them. How can we have a prewedding celebration when the groom, the best man, and the head of the hired help are missing?”

  “Awwwk! Missing. There’s money missing, Marty, and I want my share. Awwwk! Or I’m gonna! Awwwk! Julio! Awwwk!”

  “Oh, hush, Myron,” Arlene admonished. Flapping her arms much like the parrot, she tottered off on her stilettos talking to anyone in her path.

  “I don’t know how Arlene lives with that crazy bird imitating everything she says.” Viv gave the parrot the evil eye.