Phantom Eyes
Page 18
If I could accomplish even half of those things, I could walk away from the world and be okay.
As if she could read my thoughts, Grace’s expression turned severe again. “It is not as easy a thing as this, you understand. There will be factors you haven’t thought of. Prices that will have to be paid. How willing are you to take your revenge? What are you willing to sacrifice? Such things will have the highest of costs.”
I’ve already offered her my life, my powers, my eternity. What else can she possibly take from me? “I won’t give up Jade and Gentry,” I said, the first thought coming into my mind. “And if we do this, you have to help them put a stop to the feud. You’ll have stopped what you needed to stop. Belle Dam deserves to heal after everything it’s been through.”
She inclined her head as she considered. Another smile. “You will be my hands in the world. If you do everything you agree to, we will be in agreement. I will allow the concessions you’ve requested.”
I released a breath. Okay, okay. This could work. Maybe. I couldn’t trust Grace, not fully. But at least I could hope that any family loyalty she still possessed might be enough to shield Trey and Jade from the worst of what she could do.
“I’m not just going to take your word for it,” I said. “I don’t trust you enough not to turn on me the moment it suits your purposes.”
The Widow of Belle Dam, who was probably used to people dancing along the strings she’d crafted, narrowed her eyes on me. “Is that a fact,” she said coolly. “And will you stroll up to the demon and ask him for a favor?”
“There’s more than one demon in Belle Dam,” I pointed out, my tone just as sharp. “And it says a lot that I’d trust him a lot further than I’d trust you. Matthias can orchestrate a contract as well as Lucien can.”
“A demon only ever looks out for his own interests,” she snapped. “What makes you think that the demon can be trusted?”
Because I can give him what he wants. And I can make sure that no one else ever will if he betrays me. “The Grimm owes me a favor. He knows if I get my powers back, I’m going to have a debt to settle with him. He aided Lucien and his restoration.”
She tapped a finger against her lips. “And you’ll give him amnesty for his crimes against you?”
“So I can nail Lucien to the wall? Hell, yes.”
Grace turned her head away, but not before I saw the start of a smile form. Had she ever met anyone who wanted to see the demon pay as much as she did? A moment passed, and then I had to know. “What did he do?” I asked softly. “How did it start? You don’t challenge the powers you challenged without one hell of a reason.”
“We came to this land in search of the lighthouse, a bastion to travel between the worlds. You could enter in this world, climb a thousand times a thousand stairs, and emerge in a world unlike anything else known in this existence. Or so the legends said. But what we found was not another world at the top of the lighthouse. No, what we found was so much worse.”
I remembered the lantern room of the lighthouse, the way one whole side of the room had been smashed in, as though a giant had slammed his fist through the roof and walls in a fit of childish pique.
“Maybe it’s a long-buried instinct in those of us with the power to challenge the gods, the ones for whom magic was truly meant. We seek out the seeds of our own destruction. We stare into the abyss, and pray that it stares back into us. The Riders first taught man to use magic, wizards and sorcerers who were like gods themselves. But those powers came with deadly strings attached. For me, the search for the lighthouse was tantamount to my survival. For you see, my powers, though they were great, were slowly killing me.”
“So it was the same for you,” I nodded. Somehow I knew this, but the idea of Grace as weak and frail didn’t seem to compute in my brain. I could not reconcile the two images.
“Ahh,” she said, another creeping smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, “you don’t believe. But it is true all the same. For you see, our power comes tied to the demons, and only through them can we achieve the true measure of our gift. We are bound to them from our very first breath. The only question is how long they will let us linger with our fantasies.”
Once, I thought that by searching out Grace’s legacy, I might figure out a way to control the powers that I’d been born with. But if it was all a trick—if my destiny had always been to act as a puppet for Lucien’s darkness—then I’d never had a chance. My life had never felt as claustrophobic as it did right now. Even though I could look out and see the city laid out before me, the stars in the night sky, the lights across the bay signaling another city … my life was such a small thing. An empty box that never had any hope of being near to full enough.
“Oh,” I said quietly, sinking down onto one of the boxes that had been stacked up next to the windows.
Grace didn’t seem to notice. “I didn’t know him for what he was, not at first. But he promised me the greatest gift I could have wished for. Freedom. Freedom from the pain, from succumbing to the weight of a power greater than me. At the time, if I’d known—” she cut herself off, shaking her head.
“If you’d known?”
Grace took a moment to answer. I got the impression she was trying to decide whether to speak the truth, or conjure up a lie. “If I’d known the price, I might have chosen differently. But then, I might not. If there was one thing I couldn’t control, it was the hunger to be free from my curse.”
Truer words. But then, as someone who’d been freed from his curse, it wasn’t everything it should have been.
“So the Riders bequeath the greatest of powers, but only so long as their pawns become weapons in their own right. And who better than the shadows that first whispered of murder to the first men? So the devil came to me and offered me sweet release. And when our bargain was struck and our hands touched, this man who I thought loved me, drew out the stars that burned within me. An entire life, an entire person crumbled into ashes and blew away into dust. And what he left in his wake was the very creature that tore him apart.”
“He stole your future,” I translated. “Fed on you the way he feeds on all of them.”
“That is what I said,” she replied testily. “But because of the bond that had been created between us, I saw the lives left unlived. I saw what I had lost, and vowed vengeance. So came the groundwork of the city of Belle Dam, a city named for my own hubris and my newly stoked rage.”
I chewed on my lower lip and looked out again at the city. I wasn’t sure what to say. Her story could have been mine. It probably would have, if Lucien had gotten his way. I’d have set him free, and he’d have used the opening to bind himself to me and drain the world from my fingertips.
In a normal person, Lucien’s particular brand of vampirism left them an unremarkable husk of a person, dragged down by lethargy and an inability to gain fortune’s favor. But what would happen to someone like me? Would I become a vengeance fanatic like Grace?
Or would I become the vision? Is that how it happened? Is that what really brought it about? Lucien, stealing the future I was meant to have, and leaving a psychotic godling in my place? I still remembered the vision she’d shown me, the way I was both more and less than what I was now. Less human, less concerned, but more in every other way. My cruelty had no end. My hunger for chaos was limitless. The version of me with violet eyes walked streets littered with bodies, called demons across the lighthouse, and welcomed them like a newest, youngest sibling.
But my fears about that other Braden were not for Grace’s eyes, or ears.
I looked back towards the stairs, and changed the subject. “Elle’s hidden from him too, isn’t she? That’s how she keeps moving around town and why he hasn’t bothered her yet. If he knew, he’d want to know where she disappeared to, and why she hasn’t aged.”
Grace nodded. “My will is her will. She has no secrets from me. And my protection falls upon her like a cloak, keeping her safe.”
“I want to know how t
o do that.”
Her responding look was sly. “You wish to have my protection? Such an easy thing to request, so different in practice.”
I shuddered. “No,” I said firmly, “I don’t want your protection. I want to protect myself. You know as well as I do that all of this depends on hiding from Lucien’s sight. I thought about running, and he cut that off at the pass.”
“The girl thought about running,” Grace clarified. “Whatever he plans requires the both of you, but your future remains an unremarkable mirage.”
Lucien didn’t see me running. He saw Jade. “Have you been protecting me all this time?”
Grace lifted a shoulder. “A wise woman keeps her strategies secret, and her weaknesses tucked out of sight. The girl was an oversight, though. I should have warded all those you came into contact with.”
“What do you mean, ‘an oversight’?”
Her smile was twisted. “Don’t you already know? The girl is tied tight to the plans the demon still has for you. Together, the two of you would spawn a child also burdened with stolen power. Lucien wants the child to replace the one he broke. But the girl has already ruined his plans and he doesn’t even know. And now he won’t, until he sees it for himself.”
Jade. The pregnancy test. Oh God, if Jade really was pregnant, then not only did that mess with Lucien’s plans to use me, but also … I shook my head, warding off the thought. And wait, Lucien wanted us to what? Jade? And me?
“I don’t think that would ever happen,” I said stiffly.
“Do you even know the costs of what you seek?” Grace asked. “What you will lose? What you will sacrifice? That would be the least of it.” Ever since the tide of the conversation had changed, since she’d seen something in me that had caught her off guard, her tone had warmed. No longer a frozen lake but water streaming languidly from an iceberg. A matter of degrees, but still a notable difference.
“I went ahead and filled the boy in on some of the particulars,” Matthias called out from the stairwell. “Hope I stole your thunder.”
twenty-two
He climbed the steps slowly, emerging in a black leather jacket paired with dark jeans. Dressing down, at least as far as he was concerned. I’d never seen a demon in less than a three-piece suit. “It’s been a long time, Warden.”
There was a bite to his words, an insult I didn’t quite understand. But Grace did. Her eyes flashed sunflare red in an instant. At the same time, Matthias’s eyes darkened until the whites were completely swallowed up. Once they were gone, cornflower blue irises began to emerge, like the sun in the middle of an eclipse finally emerging from behind the moon.
“Don’t be like that, Grimm,” she chided. “What are a few drops of time compared to the ocean of your existence?”
“Oh, I forgot how utterly pretentious you are,” Matthias sighed wearily, sparing me a glance. “I don’t know how you deal with it.”
“Like you’re one to talk,” I muttered.
“Are you here to bleat about the travesties that have befallen you, or are we here to bind the boy to my will?”
“Someone needs to explain how a partnership works, don’t you think?” I stepped in front of Matthias, just far enough that he would have to move to reach me. “No one’s binding me to your anything. You’re going to give me what I want, and I get three days in Belle Dam before you come to collect.”
Grace sneered. “And what if I decide that you are too much of a risk to release into this world?”
“Then I know a Rider who will be more than happy to find out exactly where you’ve been cowering for a hundred years.” The expression in her face grew even more severe. “You seem to forget that we are not equals.”
That’s because I’m better than you will ever be. Grace had let herself become a monster and let the humanity in her wither out a hundred years before. She thought I would believe in her good will—that containing me had only to do with protecting the town. But the truth was that Grace craved her freedom almost as much as she wanted Lucien to suffer. Luckily, I could provide both of those things in equal measure.
“You know my terms,” I said to Matthias, taking a step back. He held out his arm, revealing a roll of parchment he was holding. Trust Matthias to bring props. It wasn’t enough for the two of them to negotiate a contract, but he would have to do it on something particularly ridiculous.
The negotiation didn’t go exactly how I expected. The vellum unraveled, floating out of Matthias’s hand until it was at an even point between the two of them. Words began to stream across the paper, some in white flame that didn’t burn the page, while others appeared in icy blue. Fire and ice waged war across the page as words were added, crossed out, consumed and burned away entirely. During the process neither Grace nor Matthias said a word, but their eyes were locked on one another.
As parts of the contract were finalized, as it were, the color faded until they were a dark ink that was a bit too faded to be called black. Bit by bit, the contract was agreed by the two until the regular letters outnumbered those that glowed. Eventually, the colors faded, and the contract floated to Grace’s hand. She pressed her index finger against the contract, and though there was no wound on her finger, blood seeped out of it and onto the page.
Matthias walked forward, plucking the contract out of her hands. “Everything should be in order,” he said, offering it to me. Where the bloody fingerprint had been a moment before, now Grace’s name was written out in an elegant script. “All you have to do is press your finger against the bottom,” he said.
Like I was seriously going to just sign the contract without looking at it first. I trusted Matthias as much as I needed to, but I hadn’t become an idiot overnight. As it was a simple agreement—power in exchange for Grace’s freedom and giving myself over to her within a specific time frame—there was only so much that had to be covered. I looked towards the bottom of the page. “‘Subject to the restrictions of the city where the contract originated?’” I quoted, looking to Matthias.
“You cannot use the powers at your disposal to undo what has already been done,” Grace cut in, “such as voiding this contract or trying to flee at the nadir of your time. You cannot shatter the cage that defines my revenge and choose to free the demon.”
“You are subject to all the rules of this city, whether they are of supernatural or mundane origin,” Matthias added. “The contract is legally binding.”
Without another word, I pressed my finger against the bottom of the page. The paper wriggled against my skin, vacuuming tight until my blood was drawn from behind my flesh. Braden Michael Thorpe appeared at the bottom in a facsimile of my own signature, not nearly as elaborate or perfect as Grace’s.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Matthias murmured.
“Goodbye, Matthias,” I said, turning away from him. The contract was signed.
“Oh don’t go far, Grimmling. I want a word when the boy is finished.”
Matthias coughed into his fist.
“You know what you have to do now?” Grace asked me, eyes now alight with hunger and need. “You know what you will be required to do?”
I nodded, my skin flushing. Matthias’s instructions back at the house were still caught on an endless loop in my head. My stomach twisted. “I remember.”
“Good,” she sniffed. “Then you will meet tomorrow at the aperture from which I first drew you from this world. And once you have satisfied your side, I shall restore to you what was yours.”
“And teach me to control it,” I reminded her. “My time doesn’t start until I can control the witch eyes.”
“Fine, fine,” she waved away my concerns.
I turned to go, only to find that Matthias had already taken his leave.
Grace stopped me just as I began my descent. “Remember what I told you once, blade-hearted boy. This power brought everything I love to ruin, and dug the graves for all those who called upon me. Be careful how sharp you choose to be, because a blade cuts both wa
ys.”
twenty-three
When you know your life is about to change completely, twenty-four hours can go by in a blink.
Drew met me on the road that ran parallel to the Lansing estate. The moon was a shrouded mystery in the sky, wanting no part of me tonight. I didn’t blame her. All that kept me going was need and the gnawing threat of failure under my skin. Everything had come down to a precarious house of cards, and the slightest spark would send the whole thing tumbling down into flames.
“You disappeared,” he grunted, climbing off his bike. I still didn’t know if the motorcycle actually belonged to him or how he’d come across it. I wanted to ask, but now was not the time. It seemed … inappropriate.
I kept breathing in and out, slowly. Everything was going to work out. I wasn’t doing anything I didn’t absolutely have to. All I had to do was get through the night, and tomorrow I could worry about all the next steps. “Had a lot to do today.”
That was a lie. I’d hidden away from everyone, locked myself behind doors of wood and ones of silence. I’d thrown my phone off the pier on my way back home from the church the night before. Taken off all the clothes that Jason had bought me, and dug out the few possessions I still had with me when I’d first gotten off the bus to Belle Dam. Found my favorite pair of sunglasses—neon green and black plastic, obnoxious and yet my favorite things ever.
Nothing seemed to fit the way I remembered it. My shirt was too tight around the shoulders and arms, and my sneakers felt like they’d been broken in by someone else’s feet. This wasn’t me. Not anymore.
But all I had to do was fake it for one night.
“Did you bring it?” I asked.
“I don’t like being cut out of what’s going on,” Drew said, and there was a vulnerability in his eyes that I’d only seen once before. The night Drew found out about his father. He patted something at his side, something left in shadow. “You send me out to run errands but you don’t tell me what they’re for? Just because my last name isn’t slang for blond douchebag doesn’t mean I should get blown off. You were the one that wanted me involved.” He moved to stand next to me, underneath the streetlights. My eyes gravitated towards the thing on his hip.