Things Remembered

by Georgia Bockoven

  Karla stood perfectly still, her body rigid with shock. This was not the same woman she’d hugged good-bye less than twenty-four hours ago.

  A figure rose from a chair in the corner of the room and came forward. Assuming it was Allen, she didn’t look at him when she said, “She’s going to die, isn’t she?”

  “Someday . . .” It wasn’t Allen’s voice. “But not now.”

  Startled, Karla lifted her gaze from the bed to look at Mark. She didn’t question his being there. She realized as soon as she saw him that somehow she’d known.

  He opened his arms. She leaned into him, burying her face in his neck. When he pulled her closer, she felt a powerful, consoling release. She wasn’t alone anymore. She didn’t have to be strong, or pretend she wasn’t afraid, or explain why she’d come that night instead of waiting for morning.

  Mark understood.

  She had no idea how she knew this either, only that she did.

  Chapter

  27

  Susan took over for Mark in the morning. Karla tried to talk her out of staying, but to her relief, she was ignored. The cardiologist came in at eight, a woman Karla had never met. She introduced herself as Elizabeth Faith and explained that she was covering for Dr. Michaels, who was on vacation.

  Karla didn’t believe in omens, but liked that Anna’s new doctor was named Faith. When she was through reading the chart and examining Anna, she looked from Susan to Karla. “Which one of you is Mrs. Olsen’s granddaughter?”

  Karla held up her hand. “I arrived this morning.”

  “So you weren’t here when she was admitted.” She shoved her hands in the pockets of her blazer. “I don’t know how much you’ve been told, but I’m sure the situation seems pretty frightening to you right now. Actually, I’m very optimistic about your grandmother’s recovery. She’s responding well to the medication and I hope to have her off the respirator by this afternoon.”

  “Why was it necessary to put her on one in the first place?”

  “There was an acute buildup of fluid in the lungs. We had to be sure she was getting the oxygen she needed while the Lasix did its work.”

  “When will she be able to go home?”

  She considered the question for several seconds. “A week, maybe a few days longer. I’m sure Dr. Michaels explained that she’s not going to be as strong as she was before an episode like this. From now on, your grandmother will need to rest more than she did before and will tire more easily, but other than that, I think she’ll do just fine.”

  Karla had sworn she wouldn’t ask what logically came next, but her need to know was stronger than her will to resist. “How long do you think she has?”

  “Congestive heart failure isn’t the automatic death sentence it used to be. I have several patients who are in a lot worse shape than Mrs. Olsen who’ve been through several episodes like the one she just had. There isn’t any reason to think she won’t do just as well and be around for several more years.”

  “What about the heart attack?”

  “That’s a consequence of the disease. Luckily, there wasn’t any major damage.”

  The next was harder. “What about her quality of life?” When Anna signed her living will, she’d made it clear she did not want her life prolonged just because it could be. She’d given Karla the right to decide should she become incapacitated, but Karla was no longer sure she could handle the responsibility.

  “She’s not going to be running any marathons, but with medication, she can lead a comfortable and productive life.”

  Karla had heard the words she needed to hear, the same ones she’d spoken to Heather and Grace and believed herself before Anna wound up in the hospital. “Thank you.”

  She smiled and handed Karla her card. “You’re going to have a hundred more questions for me in a couple of days. If I don’t see you here, give me a call and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

  Karla held up okay until after the doctor was gone. Feeling as if her legs could no longer hold her, she lowered herself into a chair. Her hands were shaking, and the tears she’d managed to keep at bay for hours abruptly filled her eyes.

  Susan came over and knelt down beside her. “Can I get you something?”

  “I was so scared,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper. “I’ve been so stupid. I already let years go by as if we had an endless supply. And then I blithely went home two weeks ago ready to let it happen all over again. Somehow I’ve got to figure out a way for us to be together even if it means I hire more help and start commuting here for long weekends.”

  “Now you know that you still have time. All of you do.” She took Karla’s hand and smiled. “This will make a wonderful Christmas present for Heather—once we tell her that it happened at all, that is.”

  Susan left at ten-thirty to take care of some work at school that needed to be done and came back at a quarter to twelve with coffee and a chicken sandwich from La Bou restaurant. The nurse was busy with Anna, so they got out of his way and went out to the lobby to eat, sitting on overstuffed chairs in front of floor-to-ceiling windows that faced the main parking lot.

  “I know it’s not as good as yours,” Susan said about the coffee. “But it’s the best we have around here.”

  Karla took a sip. “It’s wonderful. Reminds me of the Thanksgiving blend I made for the shop last year.”

  “Is everything okay there?”

  “No . . . not really.” She started to take a bite of the sandwich, but wasn’t yet ready to put something solid in her stomach. “I had to have Tonya close down. She was out of too many things to stay open.”

  “What about Jim? Have you thought about asking him to pinch-hit for you again?”

  “I don’t want to put him on the spot like that. If it were any other time I would, but not Christmas.”

  “What’s the harm in asking? He can always say no.”

  She thought about it before answering. “It sure would take a big worry off my mind. Once people get it in their heads that they want special coffees for the holidays, they hate it when they can’t have them. That Closed sign I told Tonya to put up is going to cause a lot of ill will.” She gave Susan a tired smile. “I’ve spent years convincing people they shouldn’t have a party without my coffee, so I guess I have no right to complain when my words turn around and bite me in the rear.”

  “Why don’t you get out of here for a while? You could go to Anna’s and take a nap or a shower or just splash some cold water on your face. I’ll call the school and tell them not to expect me for a couple of hours.”

  “The doctor said she might take Anna off the respirator this afternoon and I want to be here when that happens.”

  “I tried Grace again while I was at school. Still no answer.”

  “I tried her, too.” Karla watched a woman with a little boy cross the street from the parking lot. She was trying to keep them both dry under the same umbrella and was hunched so low she looked like a duck waddling from puddle to puddle. “If I haven’t reached her by tonight, I’m going to ask her roommates if they know how to reach her.”

  “What about Heather?”

  “I reached Bill at the hospital and told him what happened and he agreed we should wait a couple of days before we tell Heather. He did have some good news. Heather’s doctor says she can go home day after tomorrow.”

  “Wow, that’s great. What about the baby?”

  “They’re saying a month, but hoping it will be sooner.”

  Karla glanced at her watch. A hundred doctors could tell her Anna was going to be all right and she would still have the tiny seed of doubt that had been planted when her parents died. She accepted miracles, but she didn’t believe in them.

  “I’m going to go back in,” she told Susan.

  “You haven’t eaten your sandwich.”

  “I’ll take it with me and eat it later.”

  “If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re going to wind up in the hospital, too.”
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  Karla smiled. “Spoken like a true mother.”

  “That doesn’t mean I’m not right.”

  “I’ll eat something. I promise. Just as soon as I’m sure it will stay down.”

  Susan swept the crumbs from her lap into the sandwich wrapper, crumpled it up, and put it back in the bag. “I’ll be back this afternoon.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I know you must have a ton of things to do to get ready for Christmas. I appreciate the thought, but I’ll be fine.”

  “Speaking of Christmas . . . I almost forgot.” She reached inside the oversized bag she carried with her everywhere. “Cindy wanted me to give this to you.”

  “Another drawing?” She was falling for that little girl in a big way.

  “What else?” Susan smiled when she handed the folded paper to Karla.

  Karla studied the picture, looking for clues. There were the obvious stick figures, but nothing else connected. “You’re going to have to help me out here.”

  “This is her new kitten. . . .”

  “She has a new kitten?”

  “The mother was run over by a car.”

  It was all that needed to be said. “And what’s this?” Karla pointed to what looked like a red snowman.

  “Santa Claus. And those are his reindeer.”

  Once everything was pointed out to Karla, it all came together. Cindy was in her holiday picture-making mode, determined to single-handedly decorate the worlds of the people she liked.

  “And this goes with it.” Susan handed her another piece of paper. On it was written, I LOVE YOU ANNA. LOVE CINDY.

  “She’ll be so pleased. Tell Cindy I’ll give it to her first thing when she wakes up.” Karla rewrapped her sandwich and slipped it into her purse. She stood to walk Susan to the door, looked up and saw Mark headed toward them.

  Before he even said hello, he took Karla in his arms and gave her a hug and then a kiss—not the sympathetic, generic kind, but on the lips and lingering. She could see by the look Susan gave them that the hug didn’t surprise her, maybe not even the kiss. What had undoubtedly put the self-satisfied grin on her face was Karla’s ready acceptance and return of the affection.

  Mark let Karla go but kept his arm around her shoulders. “How is Anna doing?” he asked them both.

  “The same,” Karla said. She reached up to wipe rainwater from his forehead. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming back until tonight.”

  “I switched a couple of appointments.” He gave Susan a quick kiss and pointed to the bag in her hand. “Thanks for bringing her lunch. I was afraid I was going to have to hand-feed her to get her to eat.”

  “You may still have to. All she’s had is coffee.”

  Karla looked from Susan to Mark. She was being taken care of—gently by Susan, proprietarily by Mark. The strange part was that she didn’t mind. She almost thought she liked it. No one had taken care of her in a long time. No one had even tried. She felt like the wallflower who’d finally been asked to dance.

  Mark said to Karla, “My mother and stepfather will be here on Friday to take care of Cindy over the weekend so I can spot you shifts with Anna.”

  “They didn’t have to come up,” Susan said. “Cindy could have stayed with us.”

  “I know, but they liked the idea of having some time alone with her before Christmas, and my mom’s been looking for an excuse to meet Karla.”

  “You told your mother about me?” The simple fact held a world of meaning. “When?”

  He grinned. “After our first date—well, actually our only real date. She told me any woman who would let me sing to her had to be tone-deaf or enamored and was someone she wanted to meet. She knows you won’t have time this trip and asked me to be sure to give you and Anna her best wishes.”

  “Are you staying now?” Susan asked.

  Mark looked at his watch. “For another forty-five minutes. It’s been a madhouse today. I’ve had two dogs that ate an entire three-pound box of chocolates, a cat that swallowed curling ribbon, and a bird that flew into a sliding glass door. This on top of a schedule full of regular appointments, and the day is only half over.”

  “As much as I appreciate both of you being here with me, I think I can manage the afternoon alone. Especially now that I know Anna is going to be all right.”

  Mark and Susan exchanged glances. Susan was the first to answer. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll leave you alone if you promise you’ll let me take over this evening. You need to get out of here, even if it’s only for an hour or two.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Mark said. “I’ll be here to pick you up as soon as I can get away from the clinic.”

  Again, they were taking care of her and she still didn’t mind. “What about Cindy?”

  “She and Bobby are going to a friend’s house.”

  “I really would like to take a shower,” Karla said. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt if I left for a little while—as long as I’m here when Anna wakes up and she’s still improving when I leave.”

  Susan nodded. She hooked her purse over her shoulder. “Do you want me to bring you anything when I come back?”

  She thought a minute. Whatever practical things she needed she could pick up for herself when she went to Anna’s later. “Another picture from Cindy. Tell her I’m going to put this one up where Anna can see it when she wakes up.”

  “Will do.” Susan gave her a quick hug, said good-bye to Mark, and left.

  “I’m sorry I can’t stay very long,” Mark said when they were alone.

  “You’d be here if I really needed you.”

  “I’m glad you know that.” He sat down and brought her with him. “I went by the house and picked up the messages. There was a breezy one from Grace saying she’d gotten home and was on her way to the airport and that she’d call again in a week or so.”

  Karla had been worried Heather would call and get upset when she couldn’t reach Anna, so she’d given Mark Anna’s key so he could check the answering machine for her. “Did she leave a number?”

  “As a matter of fact, she did. I have it right here.” He reached into his pocket and handed her a piece of paper from the tablet Anna kept by the phone.

  “Nothing from Heather?”

  He shook his head. “She may be waiting for Anna to call her.”

  “Or Bill could have headed her off somehow.” Normally it was hard for her to sit as close as she and Mark were sitting for very long. Jim had accused her of being territorial and unaffectionate. She’d tried to make him understand that she was simply one of those people who needed a cushion of empty space around them to feel comfortable and that it had nothing to do with how she felt about him personally. But somehow, with Mark, it didn’t bother her that the length of her thigh continued to rest against his or that he still held onto her hand. Had they not been in a public place, she probably would have moved even closer. Being in his arms brought her a comfort she felt with no one else.

  “Did you ask the doctor how long she thought Anna would be here?”

  “A week to ten days.”

  “I know that it’s still a little early to be thinking about this, but I wanted you to know that Susan and Allen and I will take care of Anna if and when you feel you have to get back to take care of things at the coffee shop.”

  “I’ve decided I’m going to call Jim and ask him if he’ll pinch-hit for me again.” She hadn’t realized she’d made up her mind to do so until the words were out. “If I can’t reach him, or if he’s tied up and can’t take over for me, I may have to take you up on your offer.”

  “I hate to think of all the business you’re losing. If you can’t arrange something, it’s going to be hard to win those customers back.”

  Finally, someone who understood. “I’ve worked so hard to get the shop where it is. It’s like being hit in the stomach with a baseball bat to think all that work could be for nothing.” She didn’t like the way that made her sound. It was important that Mark unders
tand what she was trying to say. “I know what you’re thinking. How can I be worried about the possibility I might lose business when Anna is—”

  “Stop right there, Karla. One of the things I love about you is the passion you have for your work.”

  He’d taken her off guard with the simple, potentially life-altering statement, and she was too surprised to say anything.

  “Bad timing, I know. With everything else you’ve got going on in your life right now, I wanted to wait—at least until I could plead my case with champagne and caviar. But there it is. I love you, Karla.”

  “You’re out of your mind. You can’t possibly love me. You hardly know me.”

  “Tell me how long you think it should take and I’ll wait that long before I tell you again.”

  She stared at him looking for something that would tell her Mark was only trying to make her feel better, that in a fit of misguided kindness he’d decided this outrageous fabrication was the answer. What she saw was a love so pure and direct that it held no room for anything but his feelings for her.

  Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard her father’s voice telling her about the love that would come to her one day, how it would arrive so gently she wouldn’t recognize it at first. Mark was everything she admired in a man. He carried the traits so integrally and effortlessly they were as much a part of him as his dark hair and blue eyes.

  His kindness wasn’t something he saved to bestow on those he felt worthy at special moments, it was in the things he did every day, the animals he rescued, the lunch that included Anna, the friendships he nurtured, the child he loved. He was sensitive and intuitive and had figured out before she had how desperately she needed someone to simply listen to her the night he canceled their dinner reservations and gave her a quiet evening in his home. He could have used her, easily, and with her permission that night. She was willing, even eager, to make love to him. But he had a sense of honor, a quality so old-fashioned and rare it was nearly unrecognizable anymore.

  Mark was the quiet hero her father had told her about, the man she would be slow to recognize, the man who would bring her the love poets would be unable to find words to describe.