Dying Commitment (Lucky Thirteen)

by S. M. Butler

  “You look like you’re about to pass out,” Cadence said, beside me. “You could always go back to San Diego.”

  “No, I’m good,” I lied. Really, my stomach was doing flips. “How long is this trip?”

  “We stop in Key West in the morning, and then it’s eight days to cross the Atlantic to land in Portugal.”

  I resisted the shudder that threatened to slide through my body. Eight days on a death trap with a pool, a karaoke bar, and no sex. “Not bad. That’s going to take up a lot of your two weeks, though.”

  “Well, you’re with me. I doubt Collins will send the calvary after me if you tell him it’s okay.” I looked at her, and she grinned. She knew exactly how I felt about this trip. I couldn’t shake the feeling she’d done it on purpose to put me off my game.

  “You’re probably right,” I told her. “Let’s go, then.”

  Inside I was screaming, but I let her take the lead. It was kind of crazy to watch the way people boarded the ship, some taking pictures, some just on a mission to find their cabin. Me, I already wanted to puke over the side. I’d never been on one before, except the ones that took you around San Diego bay, but they were small, and mostly party boats. And they also made me sick as a dog. It was the anxiety of being stuck on this thing for days with nothing but ocean around us.

  We reached the suite Cadence had booked in just under five minutes. It had two twin beds, separated by a nightstand in the center. I glanced around the room in surprise. “You’re serious about this no sex thing, aren’t you?”

  “I wasn’t actually expecting to share the room.” She shot a glare my way. “But yes, sex complicates things and kills the focus. We can’t afford that.” Evil woman. She set her bag down on the arm chair, and walked over to the balcony doors. Even wearing her leather jacket and the worn black jeans gave off this sexy quality. I liked that she was a bad-ass, and that she didn’t need anyone else to watch after her. I’d known since the first time I’d seen her and she’d called me out for looking at her boobs instead of her face that I’d have her in my arms one day.

  I set my backpack down beside hers and stepped toward her. She didn’t look at me, but I could tell she was very aware of how close I was to her. She brushed the curtain open and glanced out at the city beyond us. “My dad always used to take me out on his boat.” A soft smile curled upwards, her eyes wistful. It only lasted a moment before she realized she was over sharing. She cleared her throat and stepped away from the window. “It wasn’t big like this one though.”

  “What did he do?”

  She swallowed hard and walked over to her backpack. “He was a fisherman.” She didn’t elaborate. It wasn’t hard to figure out Dad wasn’t around anymore. I ached to hold her, but she’d set boundaries for this trip and I didn’t want to disrespect them. I wanted to earn the right to ask for more from her. The way we were going… well, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her yet. “You feel like dinner? It’ll probably be around six or so if we start walking toward the dining room now.”

  “I’m not really that hungry,” I replied. I wanted to continue the conversation, to learn more about her, but she was shutting me out. Cadence was content to remain an enigma. In fact, she preferred it.

  “Well, I could leave you here, because I’m starving.”

  “Yeah, you’re not running away on me,” I told her.

  She blinked and then laughed. “I told you I wouldn’t ditch you.”

  “Yeah, well, trust is a funny thing, isn’t it?”

  Her eyes darkened, and she was silent for longer than I expected. Her voice was quiet when she said, “Yeah. It sure is.” I’d struck a nerve I hadn’t expected. But she didn’t stay lost in her thoughts for long. She smirked at me and walked to the floor, throwing a look over her shoulder, expectant. “You coming, or what, Bambi?”

  And now we were back to Bambi.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Cadence

  I really needed to be more on my guard. I’d slipped up with Dylan yesterday. I’d let it, for a second, become personal. What was I thinking, telling him about my dad? Was what I going to do? Talk to him about how sad it was that my dad had a heart attack and died three months after losing my mom to breast cancer? What would that accomplish, other than letting him get too close?

  I learned my lesson after Jack. He’d manipulated me, lured me into trusting him. He’d listened to me when my parents died, when I was more upset than I could imagine. He’d let me cry on his shoulder more times than I could count. As a result, he knew me far too well. He knew exactly how to seduce me. He knew just what to say to make me trust him. I’d gotten him that power over me.

  He’d anticipate me coming after him. It was likely that he even knew just how much he’d managed to peak my interest, and just how I would have tracked him. I was good with tech. Electronics and I were besties. He’d know that, too. I had to be better than him. I had to keep him from having that power over me again.

  “Hey, did you use the last clean towel?” I turned at the sound of Dylan’s voice and inwardly cursed. Water dripped off his sculpted body. He had a small hand towel in his hand, covering his privates, though I could see a hint of dark hair just above his hand.

  I smiled and picked up the towel he’d used the night before. “Here. This is yours.” I tossed it at him fast, straight at his chest. By reflex, he let go of the hand towel to grab the big one, giving me a beautiful view of his flaccid cock. I knew from experience that it wouldn’t take but a touch or a strike to bring it to life.

  My insides contracted with need at the sight of it, even as he covered back up. He looped the towel around his narrow hips and tucked it closed. He shook his finger at me like I was the kid who stuck her hand in the cookie jar. “You’re trouble, especially for someone who doesn’t want sex.”

  “Who said I don’t want it?” I asked. I was playing with fire, I knew, but I couldn’t help myself where Dylan was concerned.

  “Uh-uh. You said, friends. That’s what we’re doing here. Don’t toy with me.”

  “I never said I didn’t want it. I said it was better if we didn’t.”

  He scowled, looking so boyish it made me feel cougar-like, even though I was only a couple years older. “My self-control is pretty damn good, but I’m not fucking invincible.”

  “Aww, too bad,” I told him. “I rather thought you were a little bit like Captain America sometimes.”

  “Fucking tease,” he muttered, escaping back to the bathroom.

  While he was occupied, I walked over to his bag, and glanced through it, trying not to disturb anything. He didn’t have much in there. A couple sets of clothes, his passport, a gun. I didn’t open the side pockets. He’d notice that. It shouldn’t have bothered me that he had a gun, but it kind of did. I had a gun too, and it was his job but seeing the weapon caused the phantom tinges of pain in my chest. I rubbed my sternum lightly, trying to wipe away the memory.

  I heard Dylan moving around in the bathroom, so I stepped away from his bag and slipped on my shoulder holster. If Jack knew what I was up to, then he’d be ready for me. Dylan didn’t understand what he was getting into, so the sooner I could leave him behind the better. I’d decided against the transatlantic plane—even though it would save time—because Jack would expect that of me, expect me to rush to Valonia to find him. Hopefully, by taking a cruise liner, under an assumed name, he’d not see me coming easily.

  I had everything in place. My contact in Valonia would have my weapons and money ready. My contact in Portugal when we docked would have my new identification papers and enough cash to get me to Valonia over land.

  The only thing I had left to take care of was Dylan. He’d be pissed for sure, but this wasn’t his fight, and if I could protect him from Jack Allen, then I would do whatever it took. Dylan was the closest thing I had to a partner these days, and I wasn’t about to lose him.

  ~*~*~

  Dylan

  Cady had been quiet at dinner. Hell, she’d been quiet t
he last couple of days since we’d gotten on board the cruise-liner. We’d spent a lot of time in our suite, except for meals and the daily trip to the fitness center. And somehow, I’d managed to sleep in the same room with her and not die of blue balls.

  I standing out on the balcony connected to our suite, watching as the sun set over the ocean. In two hours, our brief vacation would come to an end and we’d be presented with reality yet again. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that yet. I loved being a SEAL but sometimes it was nice to pretend like I was a normal person.

  Cadence seemed to feel the same way, or at least that was how she presented herself. She stood at the desk, with the bottle of wine we’d brought back to the room from the dining area. She poured two glasses and brought one over to me. She leaned over the edge, balancing on her elbows. “It’s nice out here.”

  “Remind you of your dad?”

  She shrugged. “Nah. His boats were stinkier. And had fish guts on the deck.” She took a sip of the wine, and straightened. “This has been nice, hasn’t it?”

  “What? Being here?”

  “On this ship.” She said, turning around and going back inside. I followed her in. “I mean, we got to pretend that the world isn’t one big shithole for a few days.”

  “It’s really not. We just see the worst.” I did believe that. At its core, humanity wasn’t the most horrible group of beings. It was just a sad few that ruined it for others. And unfortunately, those few stood on the backs of good people to gain their power and money. People like them—like the Giroux family—were a disease that needed to be smited.

  She grabbed her backpack and took out a tube of her lipstick, followed by another tube she applied over the first. I followed her movements, slowly sipping on my wine as she applied her lipstick. She set the tubes back in her backpack and came toward me.

  The way she sauntered her way toward me, the gentle sway of her hips, created a longing in me. I wanted her. In that moment, I didn’t care if we had agreed on a friendship. I needed to feel her tight insides wrapped around my cock. And by the fire burning in her eyes, I knew she felt the same.

  “I’m tired of seeing bad things. I’m tired of bad things happening,” she said, her voice just below normal volume. Her eyes met mine, full of vulnerability and exhaustion. The tough exterior she presented every day wasn’t always a lie, but we’d come to the point where I could tell when she just wanted to be held.

  That was where the line had always blurred for us. As physical as our relationship was, we still needed each other sometimes, just to hold the other. We didn’t talk about it, didn’t even admit that we did it, but it happened. Somehow, sex buddies had become friends with benefits without us knowing it. Did she realize it had happened like that? Did she even care that it had?

  I brushed her cheek with my fingertips, slipping that loose strand of hair behind her ear. “We’ll get this done and then you could take a break. A real vacation where you don’t have to watch over your shoulder.”

  She shook her head. “Not with what I have in my head. Giroux Enterprises knows that. The NSA knows that. Lucky Thirteen knows that. It’s the real reason why Stephen had you tag along. My knowledge is dangerous.”

  “I would have come anyway,” I told her. It was the truth. We knew the other better than we knew ourselves and whether we wanted to admit it or not, we’d become more than friends in the process.

  “I know.” She stood on her tiptoes and gently kissed me, her lips massaging mine. They were warm and full and I could have kissed her forever at that point. “I’m sorry, Bambi.”

  I blinked, pulling away from her. It was cool in the room, blood pounding through my veins. My lips were warm from her kisses, tingly even. I cupped her face and tasted her mouth again, needing to feel her lips against mine. She maneuvered us around and then we toppled to the bed, never separating.

  I gazed up at her when she broke the kiss. She was straddling me so I allowed myself a little roaming with the hands over her smooth hips and her lean legs. She swallowed, her chest heaving. Her eyes burned with desire, but she’d stopped. She pressed her cheek against mine, gently speaking, “I wish I could stay here with you forever.”

  The whispered wish took me by surprise, even when she straightened up. I started to sit up, but my world started spinning. That was when it sunk in, when I realized what she had done. I touched my lips, which were hot and tingling. “What did you do?”

  “I really am sorry, Bambi.” The matter-of-fact voice caught my attention. She shrugged on her shoulder holster, followed by her jacket before she placed her sidearm in the holster for it. She took something out of her bag and then zipped it shut. “You see, the problem here is that you are too duty bound, too committed to your job. What I have to do is not about duty. It’s about revenge, it’s not about making it right. It’s about getting back what was stolen from me.”

  “You could… We could definitely…” I tried to think, to give her a solution that didn’t involve her running off on her own, but my brain was addled with a thick haze.

  “We can’t do anything, Bambi. This is the end of the line for us. I know Stephen wanted you along to watch after me, because he’s right. I’d drop off the deep end, right off the cliff’s edge. But the problem here is that you’d keep me human, you’d keep me from dropping off the cliff, and I can’t afford that to happen right now. I need to not feel.”

  I wanted to speak, but my world was spinning. I was swaying… or maybe that was the room. I wasn’t sure. Then I felt her warm hands on my shoulders, helping me down. “You’re a decent guy, Bambi. You deserve someone amazing, who can love you with all her heart. That’s not me.”

  “I think it is you.” I wasn’t sure how I managed out the words, but they were slurred.

  She smiled sadly, her hair falling over her shoulders as she looked down at me. “Then you’d be wrong.” She gripped my wrist and then I felt the cool metal surround it, clicking into place. I started to pull away, but I couldn’t move anymore. She attached the other side of the cuffs to the leg of the bed. It was an awkward position to be in, with my arm wrapped over the side like that. I couldn’t move anyway. “Have a great life, Bambi. Get married. Have little SEAL babies like Brody. Be happy.” She leaned over and kissed my forehead. “When you wake up, the key is on the table. If you stretch, you might reach it.”

  And then she was gone, and the darkness loomed over me. I rolled myself off the bed and reached for the table, but I was losing the battle, the blackness creeping in on me, like slowly melting ice. My body burned hot with exertion, sweat forming over my skin. I couldn’t reach the table. I collapsed on the floor with a loud groan and then the darkness won.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Cadence

  Portugal really was a beautiful country. Funchal was the Port of Call, and it was where I was getting off. There were two more stops before the cruise’s final destination in Barcelona, which was actually closer to Valonia but Jack would expect me to goto Barcelona.

  Dylan wouldn’t be happy when he woke up, but that couldn’t be helped. I meant what I had said to him. We’d had a good run, but he’d keep me too human to do what I needed to do next.

  That was the danger of forming friendships. The closer you let yourself to people, the less able you were to separate yourself and the more your heart engaged. And that was what I was trying to prevent. He was a decent guy. He did deserve someone without baggage, like Devyn was to Brody. God, how I coveted that relationship, but Jack and the NSA had ruined that for me. There would be no magical marriage for me. My heart wasn’t just broken. It was non-functional. And that was the way it had to be.

  I stopped outside an older building. It had been newly painted by a few months, but the age could still be seen in the dusty buildup of the window or the rusty nature of the vent below the store window.

  When I stepped inside, it was like being transported to another world that someone else inhabited. I hugged my hidden gun closer. I hadn’t been here in fiv
e years, not since the mission where I’d hacked Giroux security files. Not since right before Jack shot me. It was risky using someone Jack knew, but I also wanted him to know I was coming. This seemed to be the best way. There would be no sneaking around this time. No, Jack and I were headed for a confrontation of epic proportions. I was on the hunt and he was my prey. I was committed to dying for this, for one shot at killing Jack Allen. But even though I’d decided this line of action, I still felt terrified.

  The man at the counter glanced up as I entered, his eyes flying wide. A string of Portuguese flew from his mouth, most of them of surprise and the rest profanity. I smiled. “Olá, Afonso.”

  “You don’t ‘olá’ me, senhorita. How long has it been?”

  “A couple of years, I think. Maybe.”

  “It’s been five years.”

  “I’ve been busy.” I shrugged. “Why do you ask questions when you know the answers?”

  The big man came around the counter and enveloped me in a bear hug. “It is good to see you!” He squeezed me, and for a moment, I almost forgot what I was there for. He stepped back, holding me by the shoulders, and frowned. “You come here with gun. So not a pleasure visit.”

  I shook my head. “I’m looking for Jack.”

  Afonso’s eyes fell and he moved back around to the counter. “I have not seen him for many months.”

  “But you have seen him?” I asked.

  He nodded. “About a year ago, he comes by. Asks after you.”

  “Me?” I leaned on the counter. “Why?” Wasn’t that the question of the day? Three years, no contact since I’d lost his trail, and then suddenly, Jack was in my game. And now, he’d been to see Afonso as well. He was planning something and I was walking into it, and like a damn freight train, I couldn’t stop myself.

  “He asked if you were alive.”

  “Why would he care?”

  “That I do not know.”