The Crashing Series

by Kristen Hope Mazzola

  We jumped in line and started to dance away, laughing and letting our drinks soak into our blood. Slowly I started to care less about who was watching and more about the times Walker’s hand brushed my shoulder or hip. It was amazing to me how nice the shivers traveling down my spine felt. Huffing and puffing as the song ended, I threw my arms around Walker’s neck and kissed him hard on the mouth. He responded quickly and passionately but pulled away just as fast. I leaned back on my heels to frown at him, but his smile was too adorable to even fake a mad face at.

  A two-step started and Walker began to lead me around the dance floor in unison with the other couples. He pulled me in close and kissed my hair before really getting into a rhythm with the rest of the dancers going around the wood floor. As we made our way around the circle, our eyes met with tons of people we knew, and to my surprise, they all waved and smiled warmly. I realized maybe no one saw me as the harlot I felt I was, and that notion was comforting.

  Once the song came to an end, I felt Walker’s soft lips barely brush my ear, asking me if I was ready for another drink. My entire body buzzed with excitement as I agreed and let him lead me through the crowd by our intertwined fingers. I was practically giddy with attraction and lust by the time the beer passed over my lips. I turned my back to the bar, leaning against it to relax and people watch for a moment.

  Walker turned to me, resting his hand on my knee, and leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m having a great evening, for the first time in too long…” His husky Southern voice trailed off in my ear as a goofy grin spread across my face.

  I nodded and mouthed the words, “Me too,” in his direction.

  A familiar pair of eyes caught my attention from across the bar and my blood went cold. Kris Brennan was a fling that had entertained me during one wild spring break cruise Cali and I had taken together during college. Kris and his fraternity brother, Braden, were a secret buried down deep in our girls’ week that we’d sworn to never tell our guys about.

  Randy and I had been in the middle of an epic battle of stubbornness during that time and were on a “break”. That week had forever been referred to as our spring fling, but only in the confidence of my friendship with Cali.

  I had barely seen Kris since, even though we had gone to the same college and had both been actively involved in Greek life, perhaps because I’d avoided him—and his entire fraternity for that matter—at all costs. The handful of times I had seen him, he’d always referred to my love for key lime pie or some other snide reference to our sex-capade of an encounter.

  I gulped as he held his beer up to gesture 'hi' to me with a wide devilish grin on his charming face as his eyes darted to my ring-less finger. To my horror, he started to make his way around the bar to us. He was a few inches shorter than Walker and built kind of like a soccer playe—which, standing next to Walker’s linebacker form, made Kris look puny. If Kris hadn’t been such a sleazeball, I would have still considered him attractive with his sandy blond hair and big, round, chestnut eyes.

  My entire body tensed as his velvety voice, as sexy as he could make it, breathed a hello in my direction. I did the polite half-hug, kiss-on-the-cheek gesture that he went in for as Walker’s grip on my knee tightened to an almost painful level.

  Pulling away from Kris’s awkward embrace as quickly as I could, I put my hand on top of Walker’s and introduced the guys. Walker’s eyes were sending laser beams into Kris’s as they greeted each other with only head nods, not even shaking hands or attempting to speak any words.

  “How do y’all know each other?” Walker had been protective of me the whole time I’d known him, so this was not a new response, and I was a little uneasy to answer the question.

  While I fumbled for words, Kris answered for me. “We met on a cruise a few years back during spring break.” He paused, winked at me, and then unfortunately added, “We had the pleasure of getting to know each other really well.”

  That was it—the deal breaker. I saw the statement register in Walker’s brain, settle in, and then fester. His face was boiling red within seconds. I was paralyzed. I knew I was about to watch a train wreck in slow motion and there was nothing I could do about it. When I saw Walker’s fist connect with Kris’s cheekbone, I knew things could escalate into an awful situation quickly.

  I jumped off my barstool and stood in between Walker and Kris while Kris stumbled back a few steps, holding his cheek.

  Behind me, Walker huffed and grunted. “Got something else to say, Slick?”

  To my surprise, even with the gentle stream of blood staining his white cotton shirt, Kris shook his head, wiped the blood off with the back of his hand, and chuckled. “Nah, man. I didn’t realize you two were together. Sorry, Mags. See ya.”

  I leaned back on my hip, arms crossed, looking at Kris with complete bewilderment. “Yeah, see ya around, Kris.”

  Without another word, he left us alone.

  Walker wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his broad, protective body, kissing my shoulder gently. “No one will ever imply something like that scumbag just did and get away with it. What a douche, trying to make it sound like he hooked up with you.” He laughed a little and then stopped, realizing I wasn’t denying it. Quickly, he spun me around in his arms and looked dead into my eyes. “Mags, he was lying, right?”

  I broke my gaze from his, ashamed of the week I had been locked in a cruise ship cabin with that jerk. “Actually, Walker, he wasn’t lying. It was the spring break where Randy and I were fighting and he dumped me. You guys went to Panama City without Cali and me. We got mad, went on a cruise, and had our own fun.” I looked back up at him quickly, seeing the rage and confusion mixing in his eyes. “Come on, Walker. I’m sure Randy did shit too.”

  Walker shook his head. “No, Mags. He was miserable that entire trip. I think he cried himself to sleep every night. I had to leave him in the hotel room to be able to have any fun. He basically drank by himself in the room. It was a waste.”

  My heart sank and my eyes got watery, trying to push out the guilt that was bubbling up yet again.

  Walker’s arms wrapped tightly around me, shielding me from the terrible thoughts scolding me, gently accepting the woman I was to him right then and there. Brushing my neck softly with his cheek then his lips, he whispered, “Hey, it’s okay. I defended you, we’re together, and that was a lifetime ago. Why let it ruin our night?”

  I relaxed into Walker’s chest, breathing in his delicious smell of cologne and whiskey. “Let’s do another shot and get back on that dance floor.” Walker agreed and turned to our bartender, who apparently had read our minds.

  She raised her brow, arms crossed across her almost exposed chest. “Nice punch, Walker.” A sly grin spread across her face and she whipped her black curls around to talk to another customer.

  With our whiskey, we offered cheers to putting the past right where it belonged—in the past—and finished our last beers sitting at the bar. We’d had a pretty eventful day, so I didn’t protest when Walker suggested we grab some beer and hang out for the rest of the evening on the couch. The thought of comfy pajamas and being curled up in Walker’s arms was inviting, and I jumped at the opportunity.

  As we made our way past the front bar, trying to exit, a snide comment pierced my ear. “I guess the widow enjoys sloppy seconds, huh? Nice one, slut. Going for your dead husband’s best friend.”

  I whipped around to see the cocky stance of a glowering Cindy behind her side of the bar. My blood boiled, and it took everything I had to not jump over the bar and punch her for her hard-hitting words. “What the fuck did you say to me? As I recall, you were the one doing the walk of shame out of my front door after getting rejected not too long ago. Don’t flatter yourself thinking you’re better than me or that I give a flying fuck about what you think you know about my situation.”

  I shoved open the front door, pushing past the crowd of college kids getting their IDs checked by the bouncer. I forced a few calmin
g breaths while huffing toward the truck. Walker had to jog a little to catch up to me.

  “Mags, that was amazing!” His hand rested on my shoulder to stop me. I turned to look at him with tears streaming down my face.

  “Fuck that damn bitch, and fuck you for bringing her to my home. What the hell were you fucking thinking, Walker?”

  His head fell, staring at the floor, unable to make eye contact with my death stare. He muttered in a broken tone, “I thought we were over this shit. I am so sorry. Everyone else is in my past. My heart beats for you. I will do anything—just name it—to make you see that.”

  I wanted to yell, kick, and scream. I hated what he had done, but I was not innocent in the situation. With a few deep breaths and some escaped tears, I forced my rigid body to relax. There was no use in fighting with Walker. He was right. We needed to move past all of it and just allow ourselves to be happy, and it needed to start right then and there.

  I cupped both of my hands onto his cheeks. “I’m sorry. It’s her I’m mad at. I won’t bring it up again.”

  He took my hand in his and led me to the truck, saying he was sorry about five more times before slamming my door shut for me. “Well, I’d say we had a crazy day. Let’s get you home to some wine, a chick flick, and that couch.”

  I sighed and scooted across the bench seat to climb into Walker’s arms. “Thanks, Walker. You’re amazing. But I just acted like a child. Don’t let me act like that again, promise?”

  He nodded and playfully pinched my ass. “All right. I’ll think of a few ways to punish you.” His eyes narrowed as his Southern accent seductively twisted into his words, making my breath catch. “You’re truly the perfect girl.”

  He sighed, breathed in deeply, and started the truck. It grumbled and groaned while it carried us home to finish out our night of passionate roughness and pleasure.

  Eighteen

  The next morning, I woke up dressed in my favorite pajamas, alone in my bed. Stretching into a yawn, I wondered where Walker was. I slipped out from under my covers and shuffled my feet into my slippers and then into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, I could see how rough a day my Saturday really had been. My makeup was smeared and my skin looked pale and pasty. I scrubbed my face clean and brushed away the taste of stale liquor from my mouth.

  Suddenly, to my delight, the wonderful smell of bacon on the stove wafted up into my room. I was thankful Walker was still with me and that I hadn’t done anything stupid in my drunken sleepiness to piss him off, especially after my episode with Cindy at The Saloon.

  I’d known that I’d needed to drop the situation, not allow myself to get into a drunken bitch fest with Walker, and just relax for the night. I had a terrible habit of not being the most pleasant person when I was drunk, and I was always concerned I would lash out at the wrong time or at the wrong person. I’d been really proud of myself for not diving head first over the bar to rip Cindy’s face off and for not freaking out on Walker, but pride turned to shame quickly. There was no excuse for my actions. It was high time I started to grow up and move on.

  Striding into the kitchen, I found Walker at the stove, shirtless, cooking up a storm. There was bacon on the griddle, pancakes being made next to them, and a bunch of eggs whisked in a bowl, waiting to be scrambled up. My ears perked up with the sound of the coffeemaker groaning and bubbling to life as it started to brew much-needed headache medicine.

  Quietly, I slid behind Walker and wrapped my arms around his lusty torso, softly kissing his shoulder blade. “This is a pleasant surprise.” I breathed into his back, kissing him one more time.

  I could feel all of Walker’s muscles relax as I kissed his ripped back. He turned around to me after flipping a few pancakes onto a plate, smiling so sweetly. “Good morning, sleepyhead!” His hand ran across my freshly healed tattoo, raising up my shirt a little to look at the little bird flying across my hip bone. “I still need to get my tattoo since you stole my appointment.” A sly smile spread on his virile, stubble-ridden face.

  I shot him a playful jab to the ribs. “You offered!” He raised his eyebrows at me and winked, turning to continue cooking.

  Walker refused any help, saying that he had everything under control. I poured both of us coffee, putting sugar and a splash of cream in Walker’s just the way he liked it, leaving mine black. I leaned up against the fridge and watched with a slight smirk on my face as Walker scrambled cheese into our eggs and plated our feast. With a quick kiss to my forehead, Walker carried both of our plates to the table and pulled out my chair. I smiled at his wonderful gesture and thanked him again for how unexpectedly nice it all was.

  Taking his seat across from me, Walker rested his hand gently on mine, a soft expression spreading quickly, starting at the corner of his eyes and dancing all the way down and across his plump lips. “I’m just treating you the way you deserve, Mags. I promised Mitch, after all.”

  A playful smile settled in and I laughed a little. “Well, thank you very much.”

  Halfway through our meal, I felt my cell vibrate in my pocket. I looked down to find a text from my boss saying that most of the offices would be ready for work on Wednesday and mine was one of them. I was a little relieved that I was going back to work. Even though the few extra days off would give Walker and me a lot of time to spend together and figure things out, work was my escape from reality, and I was really looking forward to getting back into my routine.

  “Looks like I get to go back to work on Wednesday.” I tried to sound a little sad about it, giving a frown and an eyebrow crease for good measure.

  “At least you like your job though. I’m sure you’re ready to go back.” Walker took another sip of his coffee to wash down his last bite of pancakes. “Besides, I’m going to have to report to base soon and now you won’t be too bored without me.” He smiled and winked, getting up to put his plate in the sink.

  Before he could start washing the griddle and plates, I shot up and shooed him out of the kitchen. It was simple in my head; he cooked and I cleaned. He creased his brow while he protested and then plopped on the couch to watch sports highlights in a daze, clinging to his mug filled with coffee for what looked like dear life.

  “Don’t forget I made plans for us to have dinner with Liz and Jim tonight,” I yelled to him while elbow-deep in hot, soapy water. Walker agreed to call and confirm the plans while I finished up. He walked into the kitchen before dialing Jim’s number on his cell.

  “Hey, Jim, how’s it going?” Walker’s voice was different when he talked to Jim, a little bit rougher than I was used to. “Yeah, Mags and I will be heading over around seven if that works for y’all.” He paused before asking if there was anything we needed to bring and how Liz was doing. Their conversations were always short and to the point. “All right, Jim, we’ll see you tonight, and we’ll bring something for dessert.”

  Walker came over to the counter, crossing his arms over his chest before leaning right next to me. “Is seven good for you, babe?” A sly smile spread on his lips while saying the last word, and it sent flutters through my body.

  “Yeah, that’s good.” I was hiding the giddy tizzy in my response to the best of my ability. It was wonderful to be happy again, and every time I thought something along those lines, guilt always settled right in. I made a mental note to talk to Candice about that during our next session.

  A small frown had formed on Walker’s face along with a crease in his brow as he looked at me. Shaken by his expression, I threw some suds at him. “What’s wrong, sourpuss?”

  Walker shook his head and then smiled amiably. “It just makes me sad that every time I make you smile it’s followed by a look of pain, sadness, or disgust.”

  I was taken aback; I hadn’t realized that my face gave me away so easily. I tried to smile, taking Walker's hand in mine. “I’m just still learning how to be happy without guilt. I’m sure you of all people understand.”

  Walker’s eyes went cold and shallow as his face went pale. “M
ore than you know…” His head fell as his words trailed off. He bent down, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and then started to walk out of the kitchen. “I’m gonna hop in the shower. Be out soon.”

  I leaned against the sink and stared after Walker. I was shocked by his reaction; most of the time, he seemed so well-adjusted. I felt bad, not knowing if I should have gone after him to make sure he was okay. Right when I was about to take my first steps, the pipes above my head started to whine as the water was turned on in my guest bath.

  I went back to the dishes and finished cleaning the entire kitchen and table before Walker came back downstairs. Before his musky shampoo finally filled the living room where I had found myself curled up on the couch, I’d started to get worried.

  With a low almost growl-like tone, Walker strode into the room with pre-made questions that quickly caught me off guard. “Why didn’t you pitch a fit last night? What that bitch did and my half-assed comeback deserved a lashing and you fucking pussied out and I just don’t get it, Mags.” Walker was pacing between the kitchen and the living room, his hand resting on his crew-cut scalp.

  I was paralyzed for a minute, not sure what to say. “Walker, I am over being pissed for no reason, letting things build. I’m a free spirit and have not been living lately. I died that day with Randy in that fucking hellhole and I am ready to reclaim my life.”

  Walker and I had never really talked about our feelings until that moment. We had always been shallow with each other, and that was selfish. Finally, in the heat of this moment, ready to let it explode, we were honest for the first time. We saw each other completely and it was beautiful.

  In mid-stride, Walker halted, dropped to his knees, and held his head in his hands. “He was never supposed to get hurt, but I made him a promise, and I am here living with it every day. I will protect you, Liz, and Jim…” His voice cracked, broke, froze, and then regained its strength. “And you will never have to live with bull like last night ever again.”