What Goes Down: An emotional must-read of love, loss and second chances

by Natalie K. Martin

  She looked up at the clock. Enough window watching. George had worked his magic and she had to get herself ready. After a quick freshen up in the sink, Laurel turned up the music and flung open her wardrobe door. She didn’t have a gorgeous dress like Kim had, but she did have her trusty jeans. She pulled them out of the wardrobe, bracing herself for the effort it would take to get into them. They were her most prized item of clothing, her very own piece of stonewashed heaven. Her mum had bought them for her birthday and Laurel had done her best to turn them into skin-tight drainpipes by sewing the inside leg and then wearing them in the bath to shrink them. She held her breath as she wiggled into them before finally sliding the zip to a close. It was just as well that Steve had a girlfriend now, because there was no chance of anyone getting her jeans off again. A black crop top and some chunky plastic bangles on her wrists completed the look and she gave herself a generous spray of Charlie body spray. Laurel pushed some dark sunglasses onto the top of her head and stood in front of the mirror. She didn’t look too bad at all, especially with George’s handiwork. She gave her hair a quick ruffle before packing her small, black leather bag with her purse, chewing gum and a lighter.

  When she heard the front door close downstairs, she went to the window and watched her mum and dad drive off in a minicab. Finally, the coast was clear, and she padded barefoot into the hallway before opening the door to her parents’ room.

  It was neat and tidy, as always. The pastel pink duvet cover was wrinkle free, its colour matched by the pink Artex wallpaper and fluffy carpet. Her dad’s aftershave still hung in the air as she opened the wardrobes. Laurel grinned at the shoes in front of her, sitting pretty on two shelves. She tapped her finger against her chin, deciding which to wear, and settled on the black ones, to match her top. She lifted them out, along with a blue pair for Kim, and closed the door behind her, being careful to make sure the room was left just as it was. She was usually back well before her parents when she went out. Her mum wouldn’t even notice that the shoes had ever been taken.

  Laurel grabbed her jacket, called goodbye to George and went downstairs. She sat on the bottom step being careful not to split her jeans, and pushed her feet into her mum’s shoes. They shared the same size so they were a perfect fit, and Laurel stood up, feeling like a ballerina en pointe. She loved heels. She loved the extra height they added and the way they made her legs appear longer. A quick glance in the hallway mirror made her grin. George was right, she could give Kim Wilde a run for her money.

  It was still warm outside, so she slung her denim jacket into a plastic bag along with the shoes for Kim and stepped out into a beautiful evening. The sound of birdsong echoed in the air along with the faint tinkle of an ice cream van’s call a few streets away. She sucked in the smell of freshly mown grass, one of her favourite smells in the world. It had started as a foul day but it was about to get better. She was going to what promised to be a great party with her best friend and she looked better than she had for ages, even if she had nobody to look so good for.

  She hummed to herself as she stepped down from the pavement and walked in the middle of the empty road, enjoying the sound of her heels clacking on the tarmac and the way the closeness of the jeans made her hips wiggle more than usual. She felt like a model walking down a catwalk and, as she looked over at the Papoulis’ house, she wished Nico could see her. Her jaw almost dropped as the front door opened and he stepped out, just as she’d been about to look away.

  He was wearing a black T-shirt and jeans, and his eyes were hidden behind a pair of dark aviator sunglasses. She’d wished for him to come out but, now that he had, she was suddenly attacked by self-consciousness and had to concentrate on keeping herself steady in her shoes. If only Kim could see him now, then she’d stop joking about the comparison of him to Tom Cruise. The resemblance was uncanny, and he even looked a bit like that man holding a baby in the poster she’d bought in Athena. Only, Nico was much, much better looking. And, he was real.

  She carried on walking, her heart rate increasing as she approached his house. He looked up as he walked down the path to the pavement and waved at her. He leaned against the small fence surrounding the front garden and watched her. Laurel prayed to God that she didn’t trip up and land on her face.

  ‘Hi,’ he called with a smile as she got to his front gate.

  ‘Oh,’ she replied, stopping suddenly as if she hadn’t noticed him until then. ‘Hi.’

  ‘You look nice.’

  Laurel’s erratic heart almost stopped. She looked nice. Not that she’d dressed like this for him, but the compliment still made the air around her smell that little bit sweeter.

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Off out for the night?’

  She nodded nonchalantly, as if her life was one long whirlwind of parties and fun. ‘You?’

  ‘I was going to go for a walk. Thought I’d get some fresh air and stretch my legs while the weather’s so good.’

  He didn’t remove the sunglasses. Laurel wished he would. She was aching to see those chocolate-like eyes of his again. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and jerked his head as if to flick his hair away. She needed to say something. Anything. But the more she stared at him, the more she found herself deprived of words. The confidence she’d spent so long building up around guys was deserting her and ebbing away like the tide on a beach.

  ‘Well…’ Nico shrugged. ‘See you around, then.’

  Laurel nodded and cleared her throat. ‘See you around.’

  God, she was pathetic. She’d been moping around for days, glued to her window just to catch a glimpse of him and now here he was, standing in front of her so close she could see his T-shirt flickering in time with his heartbeat, and what did she have to say for herself? Nothing.

  She clenched her jaws together and walked away with her head down and her cheeks burning. She must have looked like a right village idiot, standing there and gawping at him like that. Her stilettos pounded the pavement as she walked. She frowned at the sound of footsteps a little behind her. She turned to look over her shoulder and a small laugh escaped from her mouth.

  ‘This must look really weird,’ Nico said, holding his hands up as he stopped. ‘It’s just that I was going for a walk and this is a cul-de-sac, so…’

  Laurel laughed again, louder this time, letting the giggles burst from her throat, and Nico’s deep laughter joined hers.

  ‘It’s fine,’ she said, relieved to have found her voice again. It was as if their actions had cancelled each other out and broken the ice a little.

  ‘Mind if I walk with you?’ he asked.

  Laurel shook her head, just about managing not to look too eager and slid her sunglasses down from her forehead as they set off down the road with their footsteps perfectly timed with each other.

  ‘So, where’s this party? Somewhere in town?’ he asked.

  She glanced at him sideways, taking another look at his stunning face from the privacy of her sunglasses and shook her head. ‘It’s just a house party at a friend’s. You know, music, booze…the usual.’

  She rolled her eyes to herself and looked back at the road ahead. As if he wouldn’t know what a party was. Maybe she should invite him, like Kim had suggested. It would be a good way to get to know him and introduce him to some people. It couldn’t be easy, moving to somewhere like this from London. It must be like going back to the dark ages.

  ‘You can come. If you want,’ she said lightly, as if it were no big deal.

  He smiled. ‘Yeah? It wouldn’t be gatecrashing?’

  ‘There’ll probably be a few of those anyway. One more won’t hurt. We have to stop at a friend’s to pick her up first, though.’

  ‘Sure.’ Nico nodded and his smile stretched into a grin. ‘That’d be great, count me in.’

  Laurel shrugged, trying to play down her excitement. She couldn’t wait to see the look on Kim’s face. She looked at him again and grinned. It was going to be one hell of a night.

 
; LAUREL

  Nine

  June 1987

  Laurel wished she’d have brought her camera with her. Kim’s face when she’d finally seen Nico for herself had been a picture in itself. She’d looked like she was literally eating her mocking words about him not being Tom Cruise’s lookalike. In fact, Laurel would have been able to use up an entire roll of film in the twenty minutes it had taken to walk from Kim’s house to Tom’s. She pictured the three of them in her mind’s eye, imagining how it might look in a photograph - all laughing and clutching cans of Carlsberg with the sinking sun in the distance, dropping its golden light onto everything it touched. A perfect moment, captured and frozen in time to keep forever.

  Conversation between the three of them was easy and flowing. They shared jokes, talked about music and their favourite bands - hers was Blondie, Kim loved The Smiths and Nico was a die-hard Depeche Mode fan. He told them about his grandparents’ house in Crete, and Kim told them about her holidays in Benidorm. Laurel soaked it all up, silently vowing that she would see the things they’d seen for herself one day. The whole time they were walking and talking, she tried to guess what Nico thought about her. She was sure that, for every time he flashed a grin at Kim, two seemed to come her way. Then again, maybe it was just wishful thinking. When Kim had stumbled in her heels he’d steadied her, but he hadn’t touched Laurel once.

  Laurel heard the party before she saw it. The echo of music filled the air of the otherwise quiet street and the front door had been left wide open. Somehow, three people had got onto the roof and the front garden was littered with cans and groups of people. They stepped into a long, narrow hallway. It was rammed full and people were sitting on almost every step of the staircase, chatting and laughing as Run D.M.C blared from the speakers. The air was thick with cigarette smoke and the slightly sweet scent of joints being passed around. They picked their way through to the back of the house and Laurel saw Steve Mills at the other end of the hallway. At least, she thought it was him. He was kissing a girl with a short, brown perm - probably his new girlfriend. If she’d liked him, really liked him, she would be green with envy right now. Instead, Laurel felt nothing apart from excitement that Nico was there with her.

  ‘Kim!’ Tom’s voice boomed at them when they finally reached the crammed kitchen.

  He was sitting on a counter with a group of people, looking like he’d already had a few drinks. Along with his baggy jumper and jeans, he was also wearing a plastic colander on his head. Laurel felt her best friend stiffen beside her when he jumped down from the worktop.

  He grabbed a can of lager and stood in front of them. ‘I thought you weren’t coming.’

  Kim coughed and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. ‘Erm. Yeah. We got a bit held up.’

  Tom nodded enthusiastically and handed her the beer. Redness crept up Kim’s neck and, for a few seconds, Laurel watched the two of them looking at each other. The attraction between them was obvious, but she hoped one of them said something soon before things got awkward and fizzled out.

  ‘We stopped off for some booze,’ Nico said, coming to the rescue. He held up the plastic bag filled with beers and a bottle of vodka. ‘I’m Nico.’

  ‘He’s with me,’ Laurel blurted out. Nico caught her eye and her face flushed with heat. ‘I mean, he’s my new neighbour.’

  If only the ground could open and swallow her up. She hadn’t meant to sound so possessive or obvious. Laurel watched as the two of them shook hands. Tom looked like a little boy next to Nico, and the colander he was wearing wasn’t helping.

  ‘Cool party,’ Nico said, looking around the kitchen.

  ‘Thanks, man,’ Tom replied. ‘Might as well make use of an empty house, right?’

  The worktop surfaces were full of cans and the floor was scattered with cigarette butts. The sink was filled to the brim with ice, assorted cans and bottles of alcohol. A loud crash came from the garden, followed by a cheer and loud, barrelling laughter. It was a good party. Laurel smiled at Kim. She’d thank her for suggesting she invite Nico later.

  Tom looked at Kim again and smiled before quickly taking the colander from his head as if he’d only just realised that it was there. He looked mortified and Laurel fought to hide a smile. There was no doubt about it, Tom was just as into Kim as she was into him.

  ‘Listen,’ Nico said, edging towards Tom a little. ‘I don’t suppose anyone’s got a bit of smoke to sell around here?’

  Tom grinned. ‘Yeah, sure. Follow me.’ He looked at Kim again and nodded towards the sink. ‘Help yourselves to some drinks. We’ll be back in a sec.’

  Nico gave the bag of beer to Laurel and shot her a smile before following Tom back out into the cramped hallway.

  ‘Oh. My. God,’ Kim said, putting the can down on the side once they were out of earshot. ‘I didn’t just imagine that, did I?’

  ‘You mean the part where he ran over to you looking like he’d just found the eighth wonder of the world?’

  Kim nodded.

  ‘No, you didn’t.’ Laurel grinned, taking the cans from the bag and putting them into the sink.

  ‘But I didn’t think he’d ever even noticed me before.’

  ‘Of course he has. It’s not like you’re strangers,’ she replied, plucking out an ice-cold bottle of vodka.

  ‘That was completely different to how we talk at college.’ Kim turned to look out into the hallway for a few seconds before turning back to Laurel. ‘Do you think he fancies me?’

  ‘That’s like asking if the sun rises every day.’

  Kim rolled her eyes as Laurel handed her two plastic cups.

  ‘Maybe he’s just drunk,’ Kim said.

  ‘Or maybe he just fancies you. And even if he’s never looked at you like that before, you look completely different to how you usually do.’ Laurel grinned and poured out the vodka. ‘It’s no wonder his eyes were on stalks when you’re in a dress like that.’

  Kim looked down at her outfit ‘It looks stupid, doesn’t it? I knew I should’ve taken it back.’

  ‘Stop,’ Laurel replied firmly as she topped up the vodka with lemonade. ‘It looks amazing and the way Tom practically ran over here to you should prove it.’

  They tapped the rims of their cups together and took a gulp of their drinks.

  Kim shook her head. ‘That was so embarrassing before. I almost forgot how to speak. How am I going to pull this off? I’m not confident like you are.’

  Laurel pushed a few cans aside from the worktop behind her and hoisted herself up onto its surface. She took another gulp of her drink and looked at Kim. ‘Remember what we always tell ourselves in situations like this?’

  Kim nodded. ‘Guys are just people with dicks. We shouldn’t let them intimidate us.’

  ‘Exactly. I mean, obviously there’s attraction and chemistry and stuff going on, but we’ve done the big thing. The hard part’s over, right? We know what they want, and we know what we want. And now we know that, really, sex is just sex. It’s no big deal.’

  ‘Is that how you feel with Nico?’ Kim asked, moving out of the way for someone to get to the sink. She grinned. ‘He’s completely gorgeous, by the way. You were totally right about the Tom Cruise thing.’

  ‘Told you.’ Laurel grinned back.

  But it wasn’t so easy to answer Kim’s question. It was different with Nico. There was something about him that set him apart from everyone else. Maybe it was because he was older, but he seemed so confident, as if he didn’t give a damn what the world thought about anything. Everything about him made her nerves skyrocket.

  ‘You could have phoned to warn me he was coming so I wouldn’t have stared at him like an idiot,’ Kim said.

  ‘It just sort of happened. He came out of the house as I was walking past and asked where I was going.’

  ‘And you look knockout, too. Talk about good timing.’

  Laurel shrugged. ‘Maybe, but he hasn’t made any signs of fancying me at all.’

  ‘As if he wouldn’t. You
look great, and he seemed like he was really into you before.’

  ‘He’s just moved here and doesn’t know anybody. He was probably just being friendly.’

  ‘Alright, look,’ Kim said, pulling the hem of her dress down an inch. ‘We’re both in exactly the situation we hoped to find ourselves in tonight, right?’

  Laurel nodded. They were. She had no doubt that Kim and Tom would get together, and spending time with Nico, more than just a passing hello on her way to college, was all she’d thought about the last few days.

  ‘And, god I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we can’t let this opportunity pass us by. So, I say, let’s do what we came here to do. What did we just talk about? They’re just guys, remember?’

  Laurel laughed. ‘Are you feeling alright?’

  Kim was usually the one who needed the pep talks, yet here she was giving Laurel one. And it was a good one at that.

  ‘I’m just giving you the same advice you’d give to me.’

  Laurel’s belly swam with butterflies but she knew Kim was right. It was a long shot that Nico would even be interested but if he was, then she’d go for it. She had to. There was no way she could face the idea of repeating the last few days of pining and hoping to see him again if she let this chance slip through her fingers.

  ‘So?’ Kim raised her eyebrows.

  ‘Yeah. Yeah, alright.’ Laurel nodded. ‘Let’s do it.’

  She went to seal their challenge with a toast and saw that Kim’s cup was almost empty already. Laurel looked down into her own, which was still half full.

  ‘Just make sure you don’t have too much to drink,’ Laurel said, taking on the role of Mother Hen like she always did. ‘You don’t want to get too out of it.’

  ‘Noooo. No, definitely not.’ Kim shook her head, pulling a face. ‘No way am I going to muck this up.’

  Right on cue, the boys reappeared and Laurel swallowed down a gulp of her drink. Nico’s eyes were fixed onto hers as they made their way over. How could he make her feel like this, just by looking at her? Like she was standing right at the very edge of a cliff, about to jump over the edge. She swallowed another gulp of her drink and smiled at him when he stood next to her.