Love and Liberation: A Christian Wife's Journey Into Sexual Freedom

by Laran Mithras

  Melissa laughed. "Not a very dedicated one. But some of the things in here you will find in a real one. We consider it a very light and relaxed version." She indicated a hall. "This way."

  Dina followed into a hall with five doors.

  The woman pointed. "Two bathrooms with tub-showers. In these are the guest bedrooms." She opened two of the doors.

  Inside were small rooms. A metal frame bed dominated each room. Restraints were at the corners. Mirror panels decorated one wall and a couple of small chairs were in each.

  The mattress covers looked to be vinyl or plastic. No blankets were in evidence.

  Dina felt a little dizzy. "Do… Do people get hurt down here?"

  Melissa spun quickly and her rejection was just as fast. "No. We urge our guests to seek that elsewhere. We do not believe love should be about pain, though a little bit of play is acceptable. Our guests do not cause pain to each other. If they did, they would not be welcome back."

  "Weren't those paddles on the wall for spanking?"

  "Yes, child, they were. But we do not offer them for the purpose of causing pain. If a guest wants to use one to heighten an experience, then we allow it. However, we never allow the amount of pain you would find in a real dungeon. No one bleeds here and we take a very dim view of bruises."

  "Oh." She wasn't sure how to respond.

  Melissa went to the last door. "This is where we keep the cleaning supplies. Here you will find standard disinfectant cleaners for the bathrooms and showers. This machine here scrubs the floors; it's fast and there are extra pads in this box." She pointed.

  Dina had seen an orbital cleaner used once. It hadn't looked hard.

  "The basket there holds cotton towels. Those spray bottles hold a disinfectant cleaner. All of the furniture gets wiped down. Takes Sebastian about two hours to do it, but he has other duties and Alice is too old."

  Dina was nodding, looking around at what there was to clean.

  Melissa placed fists on hips. "Well, what do you think? Can you clean it…" She leaned forward. "Discretely and without being judgmental?"

  She felt as if her integrity was being questioned. Perhaps it is. She lifted her chin. "I can."

  "Hmm. Well, then. I believe we can hire you. Come Saturday and Sunday mornings. No earlier than seven in the morning and no later than ten. That should give you plenty of time to finish and leave on Saturday before guests arrive. On Sunday it is not so critical what time you finish as we do not entertain guests on Sunday."

  "Okay."

  "Cleanliness is extremely important. I will arrange for you to see our doctor at your convenience and at our expense. We will make sure you have nothing to cause us concern even if you are just cleaning."

  "Oh. Okay."

  "Come with me." Melissa went back upstairs. She led the way back to Sebastian's office. She waved Dina in and leaned into the doorway after her. She said to the butler, "She's hired. Arrange an appointment with Doctor Singh for her."

  "Yes, ma'am."

  "Dina, thank you for applying. Let Sebastian here know if you need anything."

  "Thank you, Mrs. Strauss."

  "You're welcome. But please call me Melissa."

  Dina watched the woman leave the office doorway. Her shoes echoed on the tile floor and then the sound was swallowed by the Persian rug.

  Sebastian looked surprised. "Did she show you the guest rooms?"

  "Uh, yes."

  He nodded. "I thought I heard the door. Very good, then. Welcome to the family." He shifted the clipboard back to her. "Social, please, and what day would you be available for Doctor Singh?"

  "Today?"

  Sebastian winked at her. "A good sign. I think I like you already."

  ~ ~ ~

  Dina closed the apartment door. She stretched out her arm, still sore from having blood drawn.

  Two tubes. Yuck, I hate that.

  Josh wasn't home yet. He fixed computers at a computer store and wandered in after four.

  She placed the shopping bag down on the table. It held the new coffee maker. She checked the refrigerator and tossed around the idea of making a stir-fry for dinner.

  She started taking out food items and placing them on the counter.

  Was there anything really bad about what the Strauss' might be doing? While it seemed naughty and sinful, she had to admit there were no thou shalt not spanks in the Bible.

  Could Melissa be right, then? Had culture superimposed itself on Christianity? Did she have ideas of morals that were nothing more than scripturally unsupported social codes? The thought made her feel as if things she had taken for granted as true might be colored with an unscriptural lens. If she viewed spankings as sinful, as she had, and there was nothing in scriptures to say it was, then was it? Or was it what Melissa said?

  She had said Pastor Mann knows some of this. Why doesn't he teach the people then?

  Josh came in a little early. Dinner was still cooking.

  "Hey," she said.

  "Hey. How'd it go?"

  "I got the job."

  "Great! What happened to your arm?"

  "Oh. Blood testing. They're really picky about contagious stuff. But guess what?"

  "Hmm?" He sat at the kitchen table and took the box out of the bag.

  "The employers are the rich people we see at Crown."

  "No kidding? That's awesome." He gave her a surprised look.

  "They have a butler, a maid and everything." She took down two bowls.

  "If they have a maid, why did they need you?"

  "Separate area of the house. And their maid is getting really old."

  "Oh." He started unpacking the coffee maker. He stopped and looked in the bag. "No coffee filters? No coffee?"

  "Tomorrow. I'll hit the grocery store for those."

  He shrugged. "It's your coffee."

  She gave him a dry look. "Yeah, tomorrow I will buy my ticket to old age."

  "I'm telling ya."

  ~ ~ ~

  The days of the week went by and Dina did not know what to think about her new job, not having spent an hour at it yet.

  Sebastian called on Thursday to say everything was good to go and gave her the gate code. He told her to use the side entry and park by the garage on the right of the house. He did not seem surprised that her tests had come back clean and she felt relieved that she wouldn't have to act offended if he had.

  Of course I'm clean.

  On Friday, she wondered what might be going on at the Strauss residence that would require cleaning. They spanked each other? Used restraints? People had sex? She wondered what Melissa thought of seeing other people have sex. Dina did not recall any thou shalt not see anyone having sex verses.

  She had thought about the disparity all week between what she had been taught as right and wrong and what really might be right and wrong. Or just not wrong, if not codified specifically as right.

  But what if they were having sex outside of marriage? Everyone knew fornication was a sin. Had Melissa been implying it was all okay because God had already forgiven it? She recalled the times she and Josh had fornicated – but that was in the past now and they were married, so it was all okay. Right?

  Would Pastor Mann answer those questions for her? Or would he tell her to go away and concentrate on praying? She didn't take him for that kind of preacher, but who knew? Maybe he was only comfortable preaching what people expected to hear.

  ~ ~ ~

  Dina punched in the code and the gate beeped and opened. She drove forward and to the right of the house. The drive extended under a roofed area between the enormous detached garage and the house-proper. Just past the garage was a parking area with a couple of cars in it. Alice's and Sebastian's? If so, she imagined the beige Volkswagen Beetle belonged to Alice and the black BMW 328 belonged to Sebastian.

  She parked next to them and got out. She hadn't been told what to wear, so she was in beige shorts and a t-shirt. Her hair was back in a ponytail. Mp3 player attached to her belt, she was re
ady to clean.

  She pressed the button next to the side door.

  Sebastian was already opening it. "Ah, there you are."

  "Hello."

  He let her in. "I see you're all dressed for it."

  She laughed. "No one said anything about a uniform."

  "Quite right."

  "There isn't one, is there?" She was suddenly worried.

  He laughed jovially. He had nice teeth. "No, no. Not at all. Unless you wanted to wear one. It might amuse the Strauss'."

  Dina looked him over. He was wearing what looked to be a butler's outfit and not a cheap one. "You're wearing a uniform."

  "Yes, but I greet the guests. You clean before they arrive and won't be seeing anyone."

  "Oh." Does that make me feel better? She wasn't sure.

  He led her along a hall past the kitchen and then into the entry. He held his arm towards the basement door and smiled.

  Am I supposed to thank him? Smiling fast, she moved to the door.

  He said, "There's a phone down there. Ring up line eight if you need me."

  "Okay." She stepped into the stairwell and shut the door. Dim light reflected up enough for her to see. Stepping to the bottom of the stairs, she looked over the room. It looked fairly clean, but she was here to clean and she would do what was expected. She flicked on the lights and a soft glow filled the dimmer parts of the room. Three basement windows at ground level let in some natural light – plenty by which to see.

  She hurried over to the hallway and cleaning closet.

  She started with the bathrooms. Get them out of the way. She thumbed her player and settled the headphones over her ears.

  Cleaning the bathrooms was easy enough and she didn't have to do any scrubbing. She moved next into the two guest bedrooms and started the wipe-down disinfecting.

  Start up, end down. The floors would be the last. She made sure to wipe everything that might have been touched – even the sides of the mattresses.

  She moved out into the main room and began the longer process of wiping down couches, strange furniture pieces and the big X-cross.

  She was ready for the floor. The orbiter was amusing; it wanted to go its own direction. It took her several minutes to understand its spin and how best to control it. Then it became easy.

  There was a tap on her shoulder.

  Startled, she let go of the orbiter and the thing went spinning away from her.

  She turned fast, scared.

  Sebastian was dashing past her and grabbed the orbiter. He turned it off. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

  Dina's heart was racing. She thumbed off her player and tried to act calm. "Oh, well, I just wasn't expecting anyone…"

  He nodded, his intense eyes looking into hers. "Are you almost done?"

  "Yes, everything is done except that area there." She moved her hands in a circular motion towards the corner.

  "Ah, very good. I was a bit worried."

  "Why?"

  "You've been at it for almost two and a half hours."

  "I have?" I thought I had been going fast.

  "Don't worry yourself about it. I'm sure once you've done it a few times you'll get faster at it."

  "Yes, the orbiter took a little getting used to."

  "The music doesn't slow you down?"

  She shook her head.

  "Rap?" He quirked an eyebrow.

  Yuck. "No, I hate that stuff. It's not even music."

  "What do you listen to?"

  "I have on here Therion. I especially like their Lemuria and Sirus B albums."

  "Therion?"

  She nodded. "A Swedish melodic metal band – like nothing you've ever heard."

  He looked at her askance. "Perhaps. I might listen to it and tell you if I have. You're all done wiping things down?" He ran a hand over a piece of black leather cushion on one of the stool-things. He appeared satisfied.

  "I did that first. Floors should always be last."

  "Quite right. I believe Mrs. Strauss hired the right person."

  That's nice of you to say. "Thank you."

  "Finish up here and I will let you out."

  Dina watched him leave the room and turned back on the orbiter. Not three minutes later, she was done. The area she had sprayed and scrubbed was already drying. Putting the machine away, she checked the room.

  Everything looked in order.

  Up in the entry, she could hear Sebastian talking from his office. "…a bit unexpected but let me punch you through." She heard the phone receiver return to its cradle and his chair scrape back.

  She peeked in.

  He glanced at her and out the small window near his desk. "Ah, good. Let me let you out."

  She followed him through the hall and was let out the side door.

  "We shall see you again tomorrow." He gave her a pleasant smile. "And you will receive your pay, as well."

  She felt good and not at all like how she had felt before knowing about the job. "Thank you."

  She drove out along the drive towards the other gate that was used as the exit. She passed the front of the house just as Sebastian was opening the front door.

  On her left was a white Ford SUV. At the front door on her right was a familiar couple. Pastor Caleb Mann and his wife Olivia. Dina wanted to wave, but they weren't looking.

  Is he here looking for money because the Strauss family is rich? Or are they friends? Caleb just was not the money-type. He took the offerings but never asked.

  Having cleaned what appeared to be a sex-dungeon to her, she felt no odd sensation of having done something dirty or sinful. She didn't remember any thou shalt not clean places where people have sex verses.

  The thought occupied her all the way home and the rest of the day. She had learned Christianity was many things of do's and don’ts. But when she dwelled on some things, she couldn't recall if there was anything scriptural to support it. If something wasn't in the Bible, should it have any place in true Christianity?

  She would have to ask Pastor Mann. Tomorrow.

  ~ ~ ~

  Though Saturday didn't seem all too wasted with work for her, Dina already thought that Sunday was turning into a day filled with stuff to do.

  She arrived at the Strauss residence ready to go and did what she thought was a bust-ass job. Bringing along a little bag, she carried a change of clothes.

  As she came in she had asked Sebastian if she could use one of the showers after finishing up, and then clean the bathroom she used.

  "I don't see a problem, Dina," he had said.

  She developed a faster wiping technique for the barrel and the stools. She tried with the couches but after the third of the four, she was sweating.

  Good thing I can use the shower.

  She tried to go faster in the bedrooms, but she stayed thorough and didn't see much success there for speed.

  The orbital wore her out. She swung it with vigor and got an incredible workout in her arms trying to control and sling the thing around all at once. She was drenched and panting – seeing stars – when she was done.

  She used the shower and took a cool one, rinsing out her hair and staying under the water until her body finally cooled and calmed down. She cleaned it then and got out.

  Strapping on her wristwatch, she saw she was exactly at two hours, including her shower.

  Not bad. But what a workout. She even felt hungry.

  Wiping down the mirror and sink, she deposited the cleaning towel in the cleaning hamper. She had used her own towel brought from home.

  Walking out into the main room, she slowed and looked around. It was a cozy room with the cushy leather couches but plenty of space on the floor to move around. Or lay around. Did they lie on the floor? She ran her hand over the leather-covered barrel and pressed her fingers. It was slightly cushioned.

  A voice startled her. "That one is particularly comfortable."

  She spun to see Melissa Strauss standing there, watching. "Oh, I was just looking."


  The older woman folded her arms and shifted to one hip. "I came down to show my appreciation for your good work, not accuse you of touching something you shouldn't." She was shaking her head – a small and amused smile on her face. She didn't appear to be over forty or forty-five at the most.

  "Oh. Well, I finished pretty fast today."

  "You did, thank you. Have you ever seen one of these before?"

  Dina was curious about it, not understanding what people saw in being tied over one. "Well, not up close…"

  "So you've seen them before."

  "Yes."

  "Sometimes people view something with prejudice without knowing what something means."

  "What do you mean?"

  "There can be a sense of liberation in being bound – even gently."

  "What? How?" I thought people that were bound were tortured against their will.

  "Surrender can be a powerful tool in freedom of emotion."

  "I guess?"

  "Have you ever been bound?"

  "No." Josh had never done anything more than pinned her under him and had his way with her.

  "Lay over the barrel and I'll give you a very short demonstration."

  She looked hesitantly at the barrel and then at Melissa. The woman did not appear threatening, even if she was dressed all in black. Nylons, skirt, blouse and a velvet choker – all in black. Her auburn hair set off the effect of a woman confident and in control.

  Melissa looked amused. "Don't worry. You won't be harmed. Lay over the top there."

  Dina moved to obey, if reluctantly. What could it hurt? She hung herself over the barrel. It was not as comfortable as it looked, but was rounded enough not to press too hard at any one point of her body.

  Melissa squatted down and affixed velvet-lined wrist restraints to one hand.

  Dina froze, suddenly unsure. "Uh…"

  The woman looked up into her eyes. "There's nothing to fear. However, think about the fear and feel its effects on you. Instead of ignoring it, embrace it."

  "Embrace it? Why?"

  "Because that is the fastest way to emotional freedom. If you push away the fear, it will always be there. Face the fear and understand it, and you banish it forever." She stood and fastened restraints to Dina's ankles. "There."