Love and Liberation: A Christian Wife's Journey Into Sexual Freedom

by Laran Mithras

  Oh no. What's she going to do with that? At least I know it's clean.

  Melissa bent down near the leg of the barrel and plugged the cord into the floor socket. She tested the switch and the thing hummed loudly for a second. Satisfied, she walked slowly around Dina until she was out of sight.

  There was silence.

  "You thought the spanking you received was a sin?"

  Dina blinked. "Well… I didn't know."

  "What sin? Where in the Bible?"

  "Sexual immorality?"

  "Porneia. So you think sexual immorality includes spanking? Have you never been spanked by your parents? And would that be sexual immorality?"

  "Well, but… That was because I deserved it."

  "Punishment, you mean."

  "Yes."

  Melissa was quiet a moment. "So for punishment, the Bible says spanking is okay but not for non-punishment?"

  "I… I haven't found that."

  "No, and you won't."

  "But…"

  Melissa's mouth came down near to her hanging head. Her voice was a whisper. "But… the spanking turned you on, so you believe it is immoral?"

  Dina whispered back. "Yes."

  The woman stood, her voice normal and low. "The idea that sex is dirty was once considered a heresy. Many of the church fathers fell prey to it."

  "Heresy?"

  "Origen led the way, proclaiming that sex was a physical function of the flesh and thus filthy. Rumors have it he castrated himself."

  "Eww."

  "Worse was that Christians like Augustine took up the heresy and promoted it. But, if the flesh is filthy, then God must be filthy – because not only did He create it, but became human flesh, also."

  The whip came down on her butt, stinging. There was movement Dina could not see. Something pressed between her inner thighs and the hum of the vibrator startled her. It touched up against her pussy in a stunning vibration that caused her to gasp out loud and tense her back.

  The device was removed and there was silence. "If God hates sex, why did He tell us to go out and procreate? Why tell us to marry at all? Either God is a schizophrenic lunatic, or man has imposed his own strange ideas upon God and His believers through the church." The whip came down four times in rapid succession, flaming a light pain across her butt cheeks.

  Dina whimpered at the unusual sensation of pleasure and pain used together.

  Melissa sounded irritated. "I, for one, do not believe God is a lunatic. It is the perversion of the human mind that has perverted even the simple message of God."

  The vibrator was shoved back against Dina's pussy and switched on. It was pressed firmly there, vibrating, but not painfully so. Still, she felt tingles mixed with tremors racing throughout her body. Her limbs quivered and she felt a building warmth inside her. She moaned in a shaky voice.

  Melissa switched off the vibrator. "What is more important? What the church believes? Or what God has said?"

  Dina gasped, shaking her head. "God, of course."

  "We all say that. But then we fight so very hard to avoid learning that certain church-truths are in fact wrong."

  "But how do we know?" She felt tears coming to her eyes. She wanted to ask – to learn. But her body was going through different levels of sensation that wanted to rob her of her reasoning.

  "Everything must be tested against the word. Everything. Even that which we think we know for sure."

  A faint buzzing was heard from upstairs.

  Melissa grunted in irritation. "I will be back in a moment, child."

  Dina relaxed a little, relieved of the anticipation of the unexpected.

  But the unexpected was just beginning.

  CHAPTER 5

  Dina lay restrained over the barrel, wondering what she might know that was wrong - wondering if she would fight knowing the truth. How could she? Didn't everyone want the truth? But Melissa had said people say they want the truth and yet fight against it.

  Dina frowned. Would I fight against the truth?

  Another buzzing faintly floated around the room from upstairs – distant.

  She heard voices, too.

  The door opened and she heard Melissa descending the stairs.

  Or so she thought.

  She couldn't see the stairs – her head was hanging the other way.

  She froze. There was more than one person entering the room. Panic tore through her. Facing whoever was coming down was her exposed backside – her pussy in view of whoever had just come down the stairs.

  A voice, deep and so very horrifyingly familiar… "We're not the only early-birds."

  A female voice, as equally familiar, said, "A new one. Melissa must have been working on her."

  The footsteps neared.

  Dina lowered her head completely so that her hair hung over her face.

  The two people were Pastor Caleb Mann and his wife, Olivia.

  She felt completely terrified. I cannot be found like this.

  A hand came to rest on one of her butt cheeks. A light hand.

  "It is good to see the young search for liberation," said Olivia. "I am Olivia; what's your name?"

  Dina clamped her mouth shut and squeezed her eyes closed. Where is Melissa? Get me out of here!

  Caleb said, "She's being quiet. Completely surrendered, I think." A heavier finger stroked the other butt cheek and trailed down between her thighs.

  Olivia's hand moved and pressed inward, fingers brushing her pussy.

  Dina gasped. Her body was trembling with fear, but alive with the excitement at what had been happening.

  Then the pastor's wife inserted a finger into Dina's sex.

  She gasped louder, saying nothing - scared of being found out. Afraid of what would happen if they knew who she was.

  "Accepting," said Olivia.

  Male fingers joined Olivia's and Dina began squirming as fingers entered her pussy, moved in and out, and drove her to heights of lust she had not thought possible in her predicament. She wanted to say something, but she knew it would blow everything. She would be in trouble. Kicked out of the church. Banned for sinning. Exiled for being wicked.

  Caleb withdrew his fingers.

  Maybe it's over and they'll leave now. Dina hoped. Melissa! Where are you?

  She heard a zipper and a rustle of clothing. Oh no, what's happening?

  Olivia hummed sexily. She removed her fingers from Dina's pussy.

  Caleb's hand rested lightly on her hip and she felt his heat come close. Then his fingers were back at her pussy, opening her wet lips, fingering into her and spreading her open.

  Dina felt her body quivering harder – in terror, and in the coiling tension of lust in her. She felt his thighs against the insides of her own from the back – skin to skin.

  Olivia's hand touched her back and then formed claws. Her fingernails trailed lightly up and down Dina's spine sending shivers scurrying along her limbs.

  Dina was panting. Oh my gosh. Is this what happens in here? It feels too good. Shouldn't it feel bad and wrong?

  The fingers in her pussy pulled back a little.

  She felt torn – wanting them out and wanting them back in. Then they were back, spreading her deliciously open and filling her.

  Oh no, that's not fingers!

  Caleb was pushing his cock into her.

  The room spun and her body tensed in lust as her pastor's penis invaded and filled her pussy.

  No! No! Sin! Stop! This can't happen! I'm married… She moaned, out of control, her body quivering. She wanted to feel it in her, deeper and full. She groaned in relief and lust as she felt his erection stretch her open and fill her hole. In and in he slid, filling her empty space - creating pressure inside her with his hot hardness. She panted.

  Oh my gosh… He's fucking me and his wife is standing right there.

  Olivia said in a purring voice, "Beautiful."

  Caleb let out a pent-up sigh. "She's so tiny."

  Dina moaned, relishing the feel of his shaft de
ep in her. He was bigger than Josh – thicker and reaching deeper than she recalled Josh ever being. It felt deliciously good.

  He withdrew completely and Dina whimpered, thankful he had pulled out, but disappointed, too. She wanted to feel that again. She was not kept waiting. Caleb rubbed the head of his penis all over her pussy. She bucked back and groaned in frustration. Stick it back in. No, wait. Don't. No, maybe just a little.

  She felt his hands on her hips and his cock at her entrance. His grip on her hips firmed and she felt his erection slide back into her.

  Oh yes…

  His flesh filled her hole again and she let out a long sigh of pleasure. Why does it feel so good? Shouldn't it feel bad? He started moving it in and out, the glorious feel of fullness repeatedly pleasuring her insides. Her pussy molded to his cock, feeling the warmth and firmness at her lips, touching that empty ache deep inside. He drove into her with slow and strong strokes, his sighs telling her he liked it.

  "Does she feel nice?" Olivia said.

  "Yes," said Caleb. "Very nice."

  He likes fucking me? Dina moaned louder. Her pussy squeezed in tension and she felt the familiar coil of orgasm coming close and winding tighter. But Caleb, as much satisfaction as he was giving her, was going too slow. The sensations from her pussy were causing extreme waves of pleasure throughout her restrained body. She was close. I'm almost there. Yes. She whispered harshly, "Harder."

  "What?" Olivia said.

  Caleb stopped.

  She whispered it again.

  "She said harder, honey." Olivia coaxed him.

  Caleb growled and pushed forcefully into her.

  Dina's head flopped, her breath coming in gasps. His cock speared her – filling her – over and over, causing the most wonderful sensations of surrender and sensuality. Her mouth opened and she raised her head, gritting her teeth. A wail broke from her mouth and her entire body vibrated in the restraints. Then her head dropped back down and she was grunting, falling in the throes of orgasm – the cock still hammering deep inside her.

  Dina felt Olivia work her hand in between them and Caleb pulled back and almost out. Her pussy clenched repeatedly and shockwaves of ecstasy tore through her innermost being.

  There was movement back there and she felt Olivia's hand butting up against her pussy. She was stroking her husband, the head of his cock still inside Dina's pussy.

  "Ahh…" he said. "That's nice."

  Olivia's hand sped up and her fingers, curled as they were around Caleb's shaft, made repeated contact with her pulsing clit.

  Dina's mouth fell open in a pleasured grimace of pain. Her hips humped helplessly over the barrel and she felt the instinctual need to grip and hug the man who was in her close.

  Caleb's sighs turned faster and tenser. Then he groaned.

  Olivia removed her hand and he grabbed Dina's hips again. He shoved it in deep and held it there. She felt his shaft expand. He grunted and hot wetness was in her, expanding and spreading with each grunt and twitch.

  Dina was delirious. Oh, yes. That's good. Give it all to me; it's mine.

  "Oh dear," said Melissa. A sigh. "This is my fault."

  Caleb pulled out quickly. "Is something…?"

  Quick steps and Dina felt her foot restraints being handled. "She wasn't ready – if she ever was going to be included with us."

  Caleb sounded hurt and slightly defensive. "I didn't know; she was here and restrained—"

  "Yes, I know. It's not your fault." Melissa sounded regretful. "Olivia, would you be a dear and get a towel from the bathroom?"

  "Certainly."

  Dina saw Olivia's legs walk past her head.

  Melissa bent down in front of her, unbuckling the wrist restraints. "Are you alright, child?"

  Dina wasn't sure. From the heights of orgasm and pleasure, she now felt herself spiraling down from those lofty and enviable heights into something more resembling shame and despair. I cheated on my husband.

  Olivia came back and Melissa took the towel, draping it over Dina's shoulders. She helped her off the barrel.

  It was then Caleb and Olivia saw her face.

  Olivia shot a concerned look to her husband and back to Dina. Caleb's brow furrowed and he pursed his lips. He started to raise his hand to comfort her, but Melissa steered her away and into one of the guest bedrooms.

  ~ ~ ~

  Dina sat on the edge of the bed. "No, I didn't."

  Melissa had asked if she had warned them before things had happened. "Why ever not?"

  "I was scared. I didn't want to be found out."

  The woman sat next to her, hands clasped over Dina's hand. Her sigh and head shake spoke of frustration. "Do you see where your fear has brought you? To this point?"

  "I didn't know he was going to be here."

  "Does it matter who he was?"

  "Well, yes…"

  "So you would have let some other man use you over the barrel?"

  "Well, no, but…"

  "There is no difference, child. Your fear and lack of trust has us sitting here—"

  A faint buzzing interrupted Melissa. The woman grimaced. "I swear, I need to hire a temporary replacement for Sebastian. Do you think you would be able to talk to Caleb and Olivia? Shall I let them in?"

  Dina drew a deep breath and nodded. Better now than later.

  Melissa patted her hand and rose quickly. "I am sorry you were exposed to this so soon. I would speak to you later. Tomorrow, perhaps?"

  Dina looked down at her hands and nodded.

  Melissa left the room and left the door open.

  Dina heard them speaking briefly outside and then there was silence.

  "Dina?" It was Caleb.

  She looked up as he peered in from the hallway. Olivia was looking over his shoulder. Both appeared worried. "I'm… here."

  Caleb entered slowly and his wife came around him and sat next to her on the bed.

  Dina dropped her head, ashamed. "I'm sorry…"

  Caleb's voice was mildly shocked. "Sorry? You? It is we who should be apologizing. We saw you on the barrel. It is customary for those on the barrel to…" His voice trailed off.

  She looked up and saw his worried expression. "Melissa was teaching me about trust."

  He nodded. "It is one of the ways of introducing someone to liberation."

  "I didn't know she was liberating me."

  Olivia said, "She probably did it because you are a member of our church. I do believe she mentioned hiring outside of the church to avoid any prickly entanglements."

  "I didn't know who she was when I answered the ad."

  Both Caleb and Olivia went silent.

  Dina felt guilty. "I should have said something. I'm sorry."

  Caleb folded his arms and shook his head at her. "Don't apologize. If you would, please forgive us for assuming you were part of the guest roster. Was… Was this what you wanted to speak to me about tomorrow?"

  Dina nodded. "I guess it's all over, now."

  "All over?" said Olivia. "What do you mean?"

  She laughed a tiny, bitter laugh. "Will you want someone like me in your church?"

  Caleb's mouth dropped open. "Dina. Stop that right now." His eyes were intense, but his voice soft. "Don't think we would view you that way over a misunderstanding."

  Olivia shook her head. "If anything, you are more welcome and a part of the church now than before. Not that we do such things to everyone…"

  Dina looked back and forth. "More welcome?"

  Olivia blinked a couple times. "Well, I don't mean because of that. I mean that we would be there to comfort you and help you through this."

  Caleb said, "I have a feeling we'll need to do a bit of talking through this because I know you're going to have questions."

  Dina nodded, her eyes wide and filled with worry and wonder.

  "Can you come early tomorrow to service? An hour? I would like to set your mind at ease."

  She pursed her lips. Maybe I can get Josh to drive himself at the n
ormal time. "I think so."

  Caleb touched her shoulder. "I'll see you then and we'll talk."

  CHAPTER 6

  Sunday was a quiet day of cleaning at the Strauss residence. Melissa eyed her carefully, but little was said. Not long after finishing, Dina drove into the parking lot of Crown Christian Fellowship an hour and a half before service. She was nervous. Josh would come later, understanding that she wanted to go early to ask some Bible questions of the pastor. She had been quiet the previous night, trying to stamp down the guilt.

  She tried the front door and found it unlocked.

  The assistant pastor, Gerald, was praying in the main hall. "Come in, Pastor Mann said he was expecting you." He indicated the door to the side of the platform. "This way."

  Without all the people in it, the room looked larger than it was. The air was cool and circulating nicely.

  She followed wordlessly, still worried and wondering what was going to happen. How was she going to reconcile everything that had happened?

  "Dina, a bit early, but good." Caleb pointed to a chair. He closed a book filled with loose sheets and notes. "Sit and let's talk."

  She sat, perched on the edge of the chair.

  He leaned back and studied her. "You had wanted to talk to me about things not in the Bible, but I can see you're troubled. I assume over what happened yesterday?"

  She nodded, trying to find words.

  He leaned forward and lightly patted his hand down on his desk. "Believe me when I repeat how sorry I am for yesterday. I would never have let happen what did if I had known you weren't part of the guest roster."

  "It's my fault. I should have said something."

  He leaned back again. "It's past, Dina. Let's accept that we did something mistaken. It doesn't have to wreck our lives."

  "But…"

  "But you feel guilty."

  She looked up and then away. "Yes."

  "Guilty, why? Because it was pleasurable? Forbiddingly fun?"

  "I… guess so." She nodded.

  "Let's address the guilt. A misunderstanding is a misunderstanding. Neither of us deliberately set out to harm the other, did we?"

  "No, I suppose not."

  "Then let's not feel guilty over the misunderstanding."

  "But what we did was a sin." Her fears and worries surfaced with the words.