If Only In His Dreams

by Schertz, Melanie

“Yes. Catherine told me once that she refuses any of Henry’s demands. She did as she was told when she was younger and Henry had the right to make an arrangement for her, but now she is able to tell him to go fly a kite. He may be the head of the Fitzwilliam family, but he is not head of the de Bourgh or Darcy families.”

  This made Darcy think of his own engagement with Elizabeth. Had her brother not done just the same thing that Lord Matlock had done for his sister? Could Elizabeth harbor ill feelings towards both of the men who had made the decision for her to marry without consulting her opinion? An ache began to grow inside his chest, his heart overwhelmed at the thought of his behavior being anything at all like his uncle’s. “Mother, I believe that it is important for me to speak with Miss Elizabeth immediately. I will return in time for dinner.”

  “Very well, William. And tell Lizzy that I look forward to seeing her tomorrow.”

  Placing a kiss on his mother’s hand, Darcy nodded. “I will do so, Mother.”

  Darcy quickly made his way on horseback to Longbourn. Elizabeth was surprised to see him return so soon after he had left. “Is all well with your family, Mr Darcy?”

  “Indeed, Mother and Georgiana have refreshed and are now resting. I needed to speak with you on a matter of extreme importance. I was hoping that your brother would allow us a few moments of privacy.”

  The two made their way down the hall to the study where Alex was working on his correspondence. “Mr Bennet, I wish to have a few moments alone with your sister so that we might have a private conversation. I promise you that I will behave myself in a proper manner, I only need to speak with her on an issue that I do not wish to speak of publically.”

  Alex looked back and forth between the two before nodding his head in agreement. “I will allow you to utilize my office, on the condition that each of you is on opposite sides of my desk.”

  Once they had agreed to this stipulation, Alex left the room. Darcy took the seat that Alex had just vacated, while Elizabeth sat in the one directly in front of the desk.

  “I made a startling revelation just a short time ago and realized that your brother and I have been cruel in a way to you. I must begin with a tale that will explain why I came to this notion, if you will allow me to tell you.”

  Elizabeth nodded her head and Darcy began his tale. “My mother is the youngest of three children. Eldest is my Aunt Catherine, then their brother, Lord Matlock, and my mother is the youngest. Their father died quite young, and Lord Matlock, my Uncle Henry, became the head of the Fitzwilliam family. My mother was fortunate that she had already become betrothed to my father, for the power Lord Matlock felt in his advancing to head of the family was unbearable for my Aunt Catherine. She was forced into an arranged marriage to Sir Lewis de Bourgh, a man who had a sinister reputation and a large bank book. My uncle has always been a bit of a gambler, losing far more than he can afford. So he arranged the marriage of my aunt to de Bourgh. My aunt suffered severely for the marriage, for de Bourgh was heartless and abusive. Aunt Catherine was wounded many times; broken bones, bruises, cuts, and even burns on her arms once.”

  Elizabeth gasped at such information. Though it was difficult to believe, it was not something a man such as Darcy would claim if it were false. He was trusting Elizabeth with a family secret and she would respect the trust he was giving her.

  “Fortunately for my aunt, Sir Lewis died not long before their fifth wedding anniversary. He was well known at many of the brothels in Town and in Kent. One night, a jealous man who thought himself in love with one of the harlots killed Sir Lewis, finding him with the harlot in a…well…um…”

  “Relations?” Elizabeth interjected.

  Coloring quite vividly, Darcy turned his face away from his fiancé. “Yes, that would be a way to describe it. Anyway, the man pulled a knife and stabbed Sir Lewis multiple times, then killed the woman as well. Finally, he killed himself. I am certain that you would understand when I tell you that my aunt was not heartbroken at the news of his death. And fortunately, their only child, a daughter named Anne, for my mother, was near three at the time and does not remember her father at all. All that my aunt endured was due to her brother making a decision for her to marry a man without her consent. I realized that in the agreement I made with your brother, we acted similarly to what my uncle did to his sister. Though you have my word of honor that I would never strike or harm you, you have been forced into the situation without being allowed to refuse.”

  “We discussed this several days ago. I am willing to abide by the agreement.”

  “Miss Elizabeth, you were not given the option to refuse. For that, I am ashamed of myself. You should have been consulted from the very start and allowed to voice your opinions. If for any reason, you feel that you would prefer to end this agreement, say the word and I will speak with your brother. There will be no anger on my part, no demands for reparations on my behalf.”

  Elizabeth watched this man she was slowly coming to know as he made every attempt to be thoughtful and caring. “Mr Darcy, perhaps the situation began in a manner which I did not like, but you have made me feel more comfortable in the past few days. And you have honored my request to have a courtship before announcing our engagement. Of that I am grateful.”

  “Do you honestly feel that you can marry me? Even with what little you know of me?”

  Laughing, Elizabeth pleaded with Darcy to take the seat next to hers. “If I did not know better, I would think that you were attempting to dissuade me from marrying you. Mr Darcy, in the few days of our courtship, I have come to respect you. I do not fear you, nor do I believe you will ever harm me. And as I said, you have agreed to allow me time to know you before a wedding date is set. So, I do not feel that there is a need to break the engagement agreement at this time. Now, if I later find that you have been murdered in a brothel or something equally offensive, I may find reason to be furious with you.” She smiled wickedly at the solemn man.

  A small smile began to grow on his lips. “Miss Elizabeth, I am in awe of the woman I have before me. You are a wonder and I will cherish each and every day that I am blessed to have you at my side.”

  “I thank you for such kindness, Mr Darcy. Now, as to your calling me Miss Elizabeth, I believe that as we are betrothed, in private or around my family, you should refer to me as either Elizabeth or, as my family refers to me, Lizzy.”

  “Only, Elizabeth, if you were to refer to me as William. I cannot abide the thought of you calling me Fitzwilliam or Mr Darcy when we are not in the company of others, with the exception of our families.” Darcy lifted her hand to his lips and placed kiss on the back of it. “Now, before your brother returns and becomes angry over my being on this side of his desk, let us make our way to the drawing room so I can take my leave properly.”

  “Thank you, William.” Elizabeth said with a slight blush to her cheeks. “That feels…sort of…silly in a way, but a good silly.”

  “What is silly?” Darcy asked, his eyebrows rose as he looked at her.

  “The feeling I just had from saying your name, almost as if it were a forbidden treat that I am savoring.” Elizabeth said as she took hold of his arm, squeezing it slightly.

  A tingle ran up Darcy’s arm at the intimacy in that touch. “Thank you, Lizzy, for being such a delightful and amazing lady; you amaze me every time I see you.”

  Chapter 9

  Caroline thought she would have a chance to convince Lady Anne against Elizabeth, hoping to show herself as the better candidate to be the future Mistress of Pemberley. She entered the drawing room just before dinner was announced. Walking directly to where Lady Anne was seated, Caroline seated herself nearby and began a conversation with the woman she hoped to one day call her mother-in-law.

  “It is such a pleasure to have you and Miss Darcy here with us. The society here leaves a great deal to be desired, as the residents in this neighborhood are very rustic and uncultured. I have longed to have another woman of taste and style to be here, as I have only
had my sister to converse with.”

  “I would have thought you would have enjoyed your neighbors, the Bennet sisters. They seem to be quite genteel and well brought up. And I understand that your brother is quite taken with the eldest Miss Bennet.” Anne Darcy knew that Caroline Bingley was one of the fortune hunting vultures who always attempted to capture her son’s attention in hopes of snaring him for a husband.

  “Well, yes, they are genteel for this neighborhood. Compared to all of the other ladies, they would be considered the cream of the crop, but then again, that is not saying much.” Caroline laughed at her little joke.

  Lady Anne smiled politely. “Well, I found both young ladies to be of the utmost perfection and I am thrilled with knowing that Lizzy will be my daughter-in-law. Such an incredible wit and well versed in many subjects. And she is quite lovely, with those lovely brown eyes and her curls; my goodness, I can name many of the women from the Ton who would dearly love Lizzy’s curls.”

  Hearing Lady Anne referring to Miss Elizabeth in such a familiar manner, Caroline Bingley knew that it would be difficult to change her mind against the country chit. But Caroline Bingley was determined that she would make Lady Anne see that Miss Elizabeth Bennet was far from appropriate to be the next Mrs Darcy.

  “I was reading the latest issues of the ladies magazines and they all claim that to have straight hair that can be styled easier is all the rage on the continent now. And it also spoke of men preferring their ladies to be a little less…buxom… than the likes of Miss Elizabeth. She has far too much curvature to her figure.”

  “If I held to the gossips in those magazines I would never have married Gerald Darcy. For I am here to tell you, most men prefer a woman with curves and a healthy helping of décolletage. I believe that the writers of such rubbish are ladies who have no attributes to attract men, so they attempt to make all the other single ladies appear like them. No, Lizzy has the sort of figure that pleases my son, and with the obvious attraction I have seen, I would not be surprised to have a grandchild coming within the first year of their marriage.”

  “Oh, I had not heard that they had set a date for a wedding. Is it for certain that they will be wed?”

  “Yes, though Lizzy would like to have some time to court first, to allow them both to know the other better. Such a smart young lady; it makes me respect her even more. And I believe she will be a wonderful role model for Georgiana as well. Georgie already adores Lizzy, after only one visit. Our family will be quite joyous with Lizzy joining us.”

  Fortunately for Caroline, dinner was announced. As the ladies made their way down the hall, Darcy and Bingley were coming down the stairs. “Mother, forgive me for being late in returning from Longbourn.”

  This caught Caroline’s attention. “I thought you had already visited Longbourn for the day. Are you attempting to convince Miss Eliza to run away with you to Greta Green?”

  “No, Miss Bingley, as Lizzy is a proper young lady and I respect her far too much to behave in such a manner.” Darcy stated. He did not realize the slip of the tongue in using Elizabeth’s nickname.

  “Lizzy, is it? My, how soon will we be wishing you joy?” Caroline’s venom was dripping from her words.

  “Forgive me, Miss Bingley, but as Lizzy is my betrothed, she and I have agreed upon using less formal names. As I am amongst my family and my closest friend, I find that it is natural for me to be less formal.”

  Lady Anne was protective of her son. “Of course, William, for if you cannot be yourself with us, who can you be comfortable enough to be able to speak of your beloved so?”

  “Thank you, Mother. I agree, and it feels so natural to say her name in such a manner. I am truly blessed with such a lady to agree to be my wife.”

  “This is such happy news.” Caroline said as she tried to contain her fury. “And when will the blessed event take place?”

  “We have not set a date as yet, as we both wish to become more at ease with each other, though we have already made a wonderful beginning at it.” Darcy smiled at the memory of Elizabeth’s hand on his arm.

  “I am pleased to see the difference in you already, William.” Mrs Darcy said. “You are more relaxed and smile so much easier than I can ever remember. I am grateful to Lizzy for bringing out this joy in you.”

  “As am I, Mother. Now, where is Georgiana?” Darcy inquired.

  “She has asked to dine in her room, as she is quite fatigued from the journey.”

  Concerned, Darcy began to inquire of his sister’s health. His mother gave him a look which he was quite familiar with. It was an unspoken message that told him that he would learn more once they had privacy to speak openly.

  “It is a long journey from Pemberley to this neighborhood.” Caroline stated. “If Miss Darcy is in need of medical care, we should send to Town to have someone come, for I hold no faith in the apothecary in Meryton. I would not find it difficult to believe that the man was centuries outdated in his practice.”

  Darcy attempted to curb his disgust with Caroline’s obvious disdain. “I have heard that Mr Jones is quite updated in his practice, as Mr Bennet told me of the man’s thirst for knowledge rivals that of Lizzy’s.”

  Dinner was eaten in relative silence, and afterwards, Darcy requested time to spend with his mother and sister rather than the separation of men and ladies. “As it has been nearly a month since I left Pemberley, I dearly wish to spend time with my mother, to learn more of the goings on there. And I wish to speak with Georgiana to find out how she finds her lessons.”

  “Of course, Darcy, It is understandable that you wish to be with them. I find no offense at all. Tomorrow, we will visit Longbourn in the morning and dine there in the evening, correct?”

  Darcy nodded his head. “I look forward to spending time with the Bennet family, and I am certain that Mother will wish to join us.”

  Lady Anne agreed as she accompanied her son up the stairs and to his sitting room. After the door closed behind him, Darcy found his mother attempting to refrain from laughing aloud. “You realize that Miss Bingley is quite jealous of Lizzy. She fancies herself as perfect to be your wife.”

  “And she has been told time and again that it will not happen. No matter if I had ever met Lizzy or not, I still would not have been tempted to marry her.”

  “She is a harpy and thinks she is of royal birth from the way she behaves. I would love to see her go up against Rose Higgins and see how she measures up in society.”

  A gentle laugh escaped him. “Mother, you are far too cruel. Mrs Higgins would devour Miss Bingley for a midday snack. But I, too, would love to see the set down she would give Miss Bingley. Better yet, allow Aunt Catherine to enjoy a chance to do the set down. It has been quite some time since she has done so, all we would have to say is Miss Bingley is remarkably similar to Lord Matlock.”

  “And you dare call me cruel.” Lady Anne began to laugh in a very unladylike manner. “My dear boy, I have missed you these past weeks, as I have not laughed as much while you were gone. Georgiana has been quite busy with her lessons and by dinner has been consumed; she is fatigued and ready to make her way to her rooms and sleep.”

  “Are you certain that she is well? Is this normal for her to tire so easily?” Darcy was quite concerned for his young sister.

  “Do not fret, William. I spoke with Doctor Henderson. He agrees that between the lessons, the exercise that she and her governess do each morning, and the fact that your sister is growing again, sleep is a normal requirement for someone of her age.”

  “I worry for both of you, Mother. You know that I cannot stand the thought of losing either of you.”

  Lady Anne placed a gentle hand on her son’s cheek. “William, Georgiana will never be of a strong constitution as you. She is not as frail as I, though she is not as robust as Lizzy. Georgiana will always require a little more care, though she is not a porcelain doll either.”

  “I will attempt to remember this, though it may be difficult to remember not to coddl
e her. She is still such a child; I am sure that I will always think of her as my baby sister, no matter how old she is.”

  “So, tell me of your urgent mission to speak with your beloved. What happened that you need to go there tonight rather than tomorrow?” Lady Anne was watching her son for signs of what had happened.

  Darcy walked across the room, and, as was his common practice, stared out the window. “After we spoke of Aunt Catherine and all she endured because of Uncle Henry forcing her to marry Sir Lewis, I realized that to some degree, I had behaved as reprehensible to Elizabeth. Her brother and I made the arrangements and agreed to a marriage without even consulting her. She was not asked if she wished to marry me, she was told she would be doing so. Remembering Aunt Catherine, all that she suffered, I knew in my heart that I was wrong to behave as I did. I love Elizabeth, with all of my heart, and would not be pleased if she were to allow resentment to fester and overtake our relationship. I wish to have her love.”

  “There is a great deal of difference between you and Sir Lewis. You would never lay a hand on Lizzy in anger, nor would you threaten her life as Sir Lewis did to my sister. You may have been high handed in approaching her brother as you did, and not conferring with Lizzy, but you have made great strides to correct this issue. And from what I have seen in just the short time I witnessed you together, I believe there is a great bond developing between you.”