The Sari Shop Widow

by Shobhan Bantwal

  “I think your uncle is right. Rishi’s a decent, solid, and dependable man. He’ll be good for you.”

  Despite her gloomy mood, Anjali smiled. “You make him sound like a sturdy station wagon with an eight-cylinder engine and a roomy luggage compartment.”

  Laughter bubbled out of Usha’s throat. “You know what I mean, you silly girl.”

  “I know what you mean.” In their culture, Rishi was the ideal potential husband. Most women would need to have their heads examined if they thumbed their noses at a gem like Rishi. Anjali angled an amused look at her mother. It wasn’t often that her mother laughed with abandon, so it was nice to hear the sound.

  “Plus he’s so nice-looking,” her mom reminded her.

  And sexy as ever. Anjali’s mind drifted to the two brief nights she’d spent with him. “Sure,” was the extent of her response. It wouldn’t do to use the word sexy to describe Rishi to her mother.

  “And don’t forget he’s well-to-do.”

  “There is that.” It was an important criterion for a potential Gujarati groom. A healthy income made him all the more attractive.

  “In all seriousness, I think he’ll make a good husband,” stressed Usha. “He didn’t lie to us or hide anything about his relationship with Samantha. He said it was just something that happened between two single people, but now he’s met you and he wants to marry and settle down.”

  “Since when have you become a champion of casual relationships?”

  “I don’t condone his past relationship with Samantha, but I realized I don’t have a right to judge him either, because I don’t know much about the younger generation born and brought up in western cultures. Their values are a little different from ours, and besides, his mother is British.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” Kip Rowling came to mind. If her mom were to discover that Anjali had been having a casual affair with an acknowledged womanizer, God knows what she’d do.

  Usha cupped Anjali’s face in her hand. “Rishi has promised to put all that behind him and be faithful to you. That’s all that matters to your dad and me. We want you to have a good life. You’ve suffered so much these last few years. Don’t give up a chance for happiness because of jealousy and distrust.”

  Anjali continued to hold the cup in the circle of her hands. She needed the warmth. “What’ll happen to the store if I go off and live in London? Who’s going to help Dad and you with all that extra work that comes with a bigger and better store?”

  “Your dad and I had a store since before you were born. We managed then and we can manage now. Besides, we have Sejal and a full staff. Rishi reminded us last evening that in a few months Sejal will be graduating, and she definitely plans on working at the store full-time.”

  “She told you that?”

  “Rishi has already talked to her about it, and she’s very eager to take on more responsibilities.”

  “When did he talk to Sejal?”

  “When he fell in love with you and started to think about asking you to marry him. He knows you’re worried about the future of Silk & Sapphires; he had to have a possible solution to all your objections before he proposed to you.” Usha explained to Anjali some of what he’d said that night.

  “So he’s worked out all the details, has he?” Anjali wasn’t surprised. He always seemed to have answers to business problems. But that didn’t address the personal ones.

  “You see, that tells me Rishi’s a very practical man and has taken into consideration every angle, every contingency. That’s why he’s such a successful businessman and consultant.”

  “All that may be true, but I’m still scared, Mom. I’m so damn scared.”

  “Of what, dear?”

  “Loving a man again…and possibly losing him. Again.”

  Chapter 32

  “So you’re in love with him.” Usha paused to study Anjali’s face for a moment. “My guess was right.”

  Her mother’s expression was so loaded with maternal love that Anjali put her cup on the table and instinctively leaned forward to rest her head on her shoulder. “I’m crazy about him.”

  “Nothing wrong with that, honey,” said Usha, rubbing Anjali’s back.

  Anjali buried her face in the soft fabric of her mother’s robe. It smelled like vanilla musk and the spices she’d just put in the tea—a homey, comforting scent. “And I miss him so much. In a lot of ways, I think I love him even more than I loved Vik. I don’t know why. I just know I do.”

  “Maybe because you’re more mature now and have the capacity to love more deeply,” suggested her mother.

  “Hmm.”

  “But isn’t it a good thing that you’re able to put the past behind you and learn to love again? I’ve wanted that to happen to you and prayed for it for so long.”

  “Mom, you don’t understand. I know the kind of agony loving someone and then losing them can bring.”

  “Of course I understand, dear. I have similar fears about losing your dad.”

  “It’s not the same. What if Rishi leaves me? What if he gets tired of me and decides to go back to Samantha or get himself another girlfriend? I’m just a simple Indian woman with middle-class tastes. He’s a wealthy Indo-Brit man with a certain lifestyle. How long do you think he’ll be happy with someone like me?”

  Usha wrapped her arms around Anjali. “Don’t underestimate your beauty and charm, beta. And never put yourself down like that. You’re a talented girl and you have a big heart. Rishi has obviously recognized that. He’s no fool. And don’t forget he was born and raised in a very humble home in India. He wasn’t always rich.”

  “But what if…you know. I can’t lose another husband. I don’t know if I can survive that.”

  “Life never comes with guarantees, Anju. We all know that.”

  “Yeah, but it does come with some guarantees, like you and Dad and Nil. No matter what, I know you guys will never abandon me.”

  “That’s true, but then death could take away one of us from you at any time. Dad and I won’t be around for Nilesh and you forever. Besides, Nilesh will want to get married in the future and start his own family. What are you going to do when that happens? Wouldn’t you want someone to love you, keep you warm, and console you when you’re sad?”

  “I wanted all that, so I married Vik. And look what happened.”

  “We can only hope it won’t happen again.” Usha held Anjali in her arms for a long time. “There is a God, so we can both pray to Ganesh—pray for the best.” Smoothing Anjali’s hair away from her face, she said. “Who knows, maybe you can even have children.”

  “It’s too late for that.”

  A soft chuckle vibrated through Usha’s chest. “You’re talking to the woman who had a baby late in life.”

  Pulling away from her mother’s shoulder, Anjali faced her. “Was it hard? Pregnancy and childbirth at that age?”

  “That part wasn’t bad. It got tough after the baby came, especially the sleepless nights and the crying.” Usha raised an eyebrow. “Surely you were old enough to remember that?”

  “Oh yeah, I was ready to choke that screaming brat a few times.” She recalled something that made her smile. “I didn’t want to admit it in those days, but Nil was rather cute.”

  “He was adorable. And your dad and I think of him as our special late-in-life blessing. Both of you are blessings. I can’t imagine life without my kids.”

  “You think there’s hope for me, then?”

  “There’s always hope. And remember this: a child can soften the blow of losing a spouse.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Responsibility for a child automatically brings with it emotional strength. Children have a way of keeping us sane.”

  Anjali silently pondered that for a second. Perhaps if she’d had a child when Vik had died, she wouldn’t have gone off the deep end like she had. A baby would have kept her on a more even keel. Her smart mom was probably smarter than she’d imagined.

  “Do you know why
we named you Anjali?” asked Usha.

  “Because you and Dad liked the name and it was easy for non-Indians to pronounce?”

  “That, too. But after an exhausting childbirth I took one look at your face and realized you were worth all that pain. Anjali means gift or offering. You were God’s gift to your dad and me. Plus you looked like a tiny angel.”

  Anjali beamed at the warmth in her mother’s expression. Kip called her Angelface, too. How was that for a strange coincidence?

  The phone rang, making both women jump.

  Usha was the first to recover and dive for the phone. “Hello.” Her brows snapped together as she listened to the caller. “Oh my God!”

  Anjali’s heart missed a beat. She glanced at the wall clock, then watched her mother carefully. If someone was calling at 5:13 A.M., it had to be an emergency. She raised a questioning brow at her mother.

  “Rishi,” her mother silently mouthed.

  Wasn’t Rishi supposed to be on a plane? Anjali rose to her feet. Had something happened to him? Was it the airline calling?

  “Emergency landing?” Usha’s knuckles looked pale as they gripped the receiver.

  Anjali listened with mounting alarm. Something was wrong. Emergency landing could mean a fire or accident…or hijacking. Or God forbid…a terrorist bomb.

  Not again, God, she prayed with a sinking feeling. I can’t lose another man I love. I haven’t even had a chance to spend some time with him. Please don’t take him away, not when I’ve just realized I need him in my life.

  “Jeevan-bhai’s much better, beta,” she heard her mother inform the caller. “He’s sleeping now.” Usha chuckled in response to something the other person said. “No bell-ringing this morning. Not yet anyway.”

  That’s when Anjali realized the caller was Rishi and not some stranger. He was alive. She sank bank into the chair, weak with relief.

  “We made sure he ate something,” continued Usha, giving Rishi a brief update on Jeevan’s condition. The conversation went on for a few more seconds. Then Usha said something that penetrated through Anjali’s thoughts. “Rishi, I want you to talk to Anju…Yes, she’s awake. In fact, she’s right here. Let me ask her, okay?” She motioned to Anjali to come to the phone.

  Anjali’s feet felt like lead as she stood up and walked around the table.

  Usha placed a hand on the mouthpiece. “He thinks you’re still furious with him and you’ll refuse to talk. Is that true?”

  Anjali shook her head. She was experiencing all kinds of emotions, but fury wasn’t one of them. “I’m just worried sick about him,” she whispered, unable to keep the angst out of her voice.

  “Then tell him that. Tell him you care about him.”

  On a shaky breath Anjali took the receiver. “Rishi.”

  “Hello, Anju,” he said warily. “I didn’t think you’d agree to talk to me.”

  It felt so good to hear his voice—so damn good—like a long drink of water after dehydrating for days. “Are…are you okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Thank God!”

  “They detected a minor mechanical problem and decided to make an emergency landing in Omaha. They have another flight leaving in half an hour. Boarding doesn’t start for a few minutes. I thought I’d check on Jeevan-kaka and let you know I’ll be arriving very late.”

  “I’m glad you’re safe and you’re…all right.”

  “I’m better than all right, now that you’re talking to me.” He sounded genuinely elated. “I missed you.”

  It took her a while to react to that. “What about…?”

  “Samantha? It turns out she lied about her situation. I had my solicitor check into it and it’s all bogus.”

  Anjali’s sigh of relief was long. Her instincts had been right after all. “Where do you go from here?”

  “I’m terminating my account with her company as soon as our contract comes up for renewal. I want nothing to do with her.”

  “You’re positive you want to do that?”

  “Absolutely. I don’t tolerate lies and deceit.” After another brief moment of silence he added, “Samantha’s out of my life.”

  “For good?”

  “For good.”

  Anjali could clearly hear him breathing, like he was standing beside her instead of more than halfway across the U.S. “I’m glad.”

  “You know how I feel about you, don’t you, Anju?” His voice was warm and intimate and filled with promise.

  “I know.” She noticed her mother sneaking out of the kitchen and heard her footsteps going up the stairs. “How’s your knee holding up with the long plane ride?” she asked him.

  “Surprisingly well. And here’s something that’ll make you smile. I found that San Francisco badly needs a Silk & Sapphires boutique. The Indian shops there are mediocre at best.”

  She had to smile. “Do you ever stop thinking about business?”

  “Sure, when I’m thinking about you.”

  “What time will you be home?” she asked him, still smiling.

  “Do you really want me home? Your home?”

  “Yes…very much.”

  “The flight is expected to arrive in Newark around 10:30 A.M. By the time I pick up my car from the parking lot and drive home it’ll probably be close to noon.” He paused. “Will you be waiting for me, love?”

  “I’ll be waiting.” She would have loved to keep talking, but he had a plane to board. For now, he was safe, and that’s all that mattered. “Have a safe flight, honey.”

  She didn’t feel like going to bed after the call ended. She was too keyed up to relax. Instead she went into the family room and switched on the lights. In a corner was the low stool that held Jeevan-kaka’s silver idols of Krishna and Ganesh.

  On an impulse she lit one of the many tea lights set in front of the idols. The little silver bell he loved to ring in the mornings sat silently beside the incense holder. She stared at the idols for a while.

  Dear God, she had so much to be grateful for. Why had it taken her so long to realize it? But like her mother said, it was never too late to pray. And offer thanks to the Lord.

  Going down on her knees, Anjali bowed her head, shut her eyes, and joined her hands in prayer.

  Author’s Note

  Dear Reader,

  After writing two novels set in India, both of which have stories woven around hot-button social issues, I decided to set The Sari Shop Widow in the United States. I felt it was time for me to explore the Indian-American experience, to take my readers on a different kind of journey by offering them a rare glimpse into the lives of Indian immigrants.

  Nonetheless my deep interest in women’s issues resonates in this book as well. Here I have painted the portrait of a young Indian widow in an American suburban setting, and have shown how, despite her westernization, the traditionalist culture still impacts every facet of her life.

  To give you a taste of India right here in the United States, I made the backdrop for The Sari Shop Widow a fashionable boutique set in the heart of New Jersey’s “Little India.” It was the perfect avenue for me to introduce the colors, textures, scents, and fashions of India into my story, and also the diverse lives of a particular ethnic group.

  After reading this romantic tale, I hope you will be tempted to visit your Indian-American neighborhood and try some spicy pakoras or curry, and indulge in the shopping experience. Trust me, shopping for a salwar-kameez outfit, or a hand-embroidered purse, or some colorful Indian jewelry can be loads of fun. Most often, you can even have the pleasure of haggling over the price of an item, something you cannot do in most mainstream American stores.

  I sincerely hope you enjoy this book as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always, I wish you Happy Reading and Good Karma.

  Warm Regards,

  Shobhan Bantwal

  A READING GROUP GUIDE

  THE SARI SHOP WIDOW

  Shobhan Bantwal

  ABOUT THIS GUIDE

  The suggested questions are
included

  to enhance your group’s

  reading of this book.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  Anjali Kapadia is a Hindu widow from a conservative family. Is her life different compared to the lives of widows from other cultures? Discuss the uniqueness of her situation.

  Is a sari and jewelry boutique a good backdrop for a book set in the United States? Could it have been a different background, something that could have given the story an entirely different twist?

  Jeevan-kaka, Anjali’s uncle from India, is an autocratic man with an agenda of his own. Discuss his entry into the lives of Anjali and her family, and the consequences.

  What role does Anjali’s brother Nilesh play in this story? What does he bring to the plot?

  Discuss Anjali’s lingering feelings for her dead husband and how they influence her actions and emotions throughout the book.

  Why do you think Anjali has picked an unlikely man like Kip Rowling for a secret boyfriend? What kind of impact does he have on her life and the story?

  Rishi Shah is the reluctant and unwelcome third party when he is introduced to Anjali. Do you think her overtly hostile reaction to him is justified?

  What are some of the consequences of a widow falling in love with a man of mixed race, a man who does not even live in the same country?

  Discuss Rishi’s relationship and eventual breakup with his girlfriend, Samantha. Compare and contrast that with Anjali’s relationship with Kip.