The Lies I've Told

by J. L. Berg

  Now, if there were a way to avoid myself?

  That I could get on board with, at least for the time being.

  “Hey!” she replied, her voice instantly warming my insides.

  Molly was older by a few years. Wiser by probably a decade… maybe two.

  It didn’t matter how far apart we were or how long we went without speaking, she always seemed to cheer me up with just the mere sound of her voice.

  “How’s it going?” I asked. “Still preggo?”

  She laughed at my joke, but I could hear some hesitation in her tone.

  “Wait, you are still pregnant, right? You didn’t have my niece and not tell me, did you?”

  “No,” she said.

  “There’s a but in there. I can hear it all the way down here, Molly.”

  “I’m in labor!” she squealed.

  “Oh my gosh!” I screamed, jumping up from my pathetic spot on the floor, as if I could do something all the way in Florida when my sister was going into labor up in North Carolina. “Then, why are you on the phone with me?” I asked. “Shouldn’t you be pushing? Or doing heavy breathing or something?”

  She laughed.

  She freaking laughed.

  She was having a baby, casually chuckling through labor, while I was having a mild panic attack about it in the middle of my walk-in closet.

  Maybe I needed to lay off the wine for a while.

  Setting it aside, I stepped out of the closet and settled down on my bed, ignoring the way the room slightly spun.

  “We’re at the hospital and I’m fine,” she said. “Remember, I’m married to a doctor. The most neurotic pain-in-the-ass doctor on the face of the planet.”

  I had a feeling the last part of that was being said at the incredibly neurotic husband. Not me.

  “Well, he must be doing something right if you’re already at the hospital. How did you manage that? Did he drive you up the coast a month in advance and park you outside to wait?”

  She laughed. Again.

  “No,” she replied. “I was up here for a routine visit. We drive up to Nags Head every week now to see my OB. Jake’s made it his mission to see how quickly he can get from Ocracoke to the ferry and then from the ferry to Nags Head. Honestly, I think he’s going to miss that part of this whole thing.”

  I was the one to laugh now. “Well, he’ll still be up there visiting patients. I’m sure he can continue his race car fantasies then. But, seriously, how are you? Are you feeling okay?”

  “Yes,” she answered adamantly. “I’m feeling great so far. They’re taking good care of me. But, that’s not why I called.”

  I gulped, wondering if she’d somehow found out about my failed promotion. The one upside to this whole thing was I hadn’t told any of my family members, wanting it to be a surprise. So, I thought there wouldn’t be any questions.

  “It’s Mom and Dad.”

  Panic turned to worry. “What about Mom and Dad?” I asked, wondering what else could possibly be wrong in my topsy-turvy life.

  “They’re supposed to take over the inn when I go on maternity leave, but I didn’t exactly plan on going into labor three weeks early. They’re on a golfing trip in Myrtle Beach. I’ve called them, and they’re headed back, but—”

  “They’ll want to be with you, not at the inn with a bunch of guests.”

  “Yeah.”

  I took a quick look around my apartment, the walls already feeling like they were closing in around me. “Say no more, sis. I’ll get on the first flight there. Just call me the hostess with the mostess.”

  “Oh my gosh! Are you sure? There are people I can ask around town, but this is the inn, and I didn’t want to leave it to simply anyone.”

  “I get it. It’s a family thing. I’ll be there.”

  “Aren’t you busy? I mean, don’t you need to fly somewhere or do something really important?”

  I bit my lip to keep from snorting. “No, it’s fine. I have tons of vacation time saved up, and you know what? It’s about time I use it.”

  “You are my lifesaver, Millie. It will only be a couple of days, promise. Mom and Dad can take over once I’m out of the hospital.”

  I tried not to think of what I’d do after those couple of days, but I put on a brave face and finished making the arrangements with my sister.

  “Oh, and before we hang up, there’s one more thing.”

  “You mean, before you go off to give birth?”

  “Right”—she snickered—“that.”

  “How are you so calm? I would literally be freaking out right now.”

  “Oh, I am, but I’m good at hiding it. The doctor came in here with this giant hook thing, like one of Mom’s crochet hooks, and used it to break my water. Weirdest thing ever.”

  “Okay, that was more information than I ever needed to know. Thanks for that. Anyway, you were saying?”

  “Right.” She laughed. “There was some vandalism in town. The statue that was put up at the docks for the ferryboat accident, it was destroyed last night. Dean has arranged for the artist to visit and re-create it.”

  “That’s awesome. I mean, not the vandalism part. But it’s quite a generous offer from the artist.”

  “Yes,” she said. “We were amazed. We never expected something like this. He’s pretty well known in the art world. So, obviously, I’ve made arrangements for him to stay at the inn. He should be arriving after you. Can you make sure he gets to town okay? I don’t know how he’ll be arriving.”

  I could already hear the worry in my sister’s voice. She was overly attached to the inn and how it ran on a day-to-day basis. Before she’d married Jake, it had been her entire life.

  Wow, that sounded familiar.

  “I’ll treat him like royalty, promise.”

  “Thank you,” she said, clearly relieved. “Okay, I’ve got to go. I can feel a contraction coming on, and I think you should remember me in this moment as being happy and not cursing my husband for being born.”

  I let out a giggle before saying good-bye.

  My sister was having a baby.

  She was creating a family.

  And I was getting drunk in my closet.

  Well, not anymore.

  Feeling like I had a new purpose, I jumped to my feet. I still felt a little wobbly, but there was nothing like ambition to cure a tipsy head.

  A few days at home? It was exactly what I needed.

  There, I could clear my head and get refocused, and when I came back…

  Well, let’s just say, bitches had better be ready.

  “Where are you headed again?” the tipsy woman sitting next to me in first class asked once again.

  “Ocracoke,” I answered.

  “Where?” She giggled, taking another sip of her wine.

  I’d been on this plane with her for a grand total of thirty minutes, and I already wanted to kill myself.

  Repeatedly.

  “Ocracoke,” I said slowly. “It’s a small island off the coast of North Carolina. That’s a state in the southern region of—”

  “I know where North Carolina is,” she said, her words slurring together.

  Normally, I’d go for her type—the well-dressed, expensive, but easy kind of girl who made being single everything it was meant to be. Fun and string-free.

  But, today, I wasn’t into it. Or her.

  She must have gotten the clue when I stopped speaking to her and instead sought out entertainment elsewhere. Slipping on the noise-canceling headphones, that, given my current predicament, were worth every penny I’d spent on them, I plugged them into my laptop and zoned out.

  Well, I zoned her out at least.

  With music blasting in my ears and an entire hour left on this flight, I pulled up my internet browser, thankful for Wi-Fi and began to surf the web.

  At first, it was typical stuff, reviews of my show from the night before to social media, but then I began to feel the itch. Those test results were back in my pocket, and before I knew
it, I was typing words into the search bar like a goddamn idiot.

  I felt a tap on my shoulder.

  It was the drunk girl, looking over at my screen. I let out a sigh and pulled off my headphones.

  “My grandma has that,” she said, pointing to the page I’d pulled up on Google. “Terrible disease.”

  I swallowed hard, feeling a trickle of sweat forming at my temple. “Yeah, mine too,” I lied before putting on my headphones and immediately shutting down the laptop.

  I felt physically ill from her comment, and it took every bit of strength I had to continue sitting there next to her, stiff as a board, while I was slowing falling apart on the inside.

  Thanks to a decent layover in Norfolk, I’d managed to knock back several drinks in the airport.

  With nothing but time to kill, I didn’t want to waste a single second of it thinking. Alcohol had seemed like the only plausible option.

  When the pilot and the dinky excuse for a plane finally arrived to take me the rest of the way to Ocracoke, I was feeling pretty okay. Making my way down to the tarmac, I said my hellos to the older gentleman who looked more like a beach bum than a pilot, but who was I to judge?

  I carved stone for a living. It wasn’t like I walked around, covered in dust, twenty-four hours a day.

  Well, not most days anyway.

  After taking my seat, I pulled out my phone and took a quick glance at the latest email Dean Sutherland had sent that afternoon.

  Aiden,

  All accommodations have been made. You will be staying at By the Bay Inn—the best place on the island. Someone will be at the airport to pick you up when you arrive.

  Looking forward to meeting you in person.

  Dean

  I had some serious doubts as to whether Dean’s and my idea of proper accommodations were the same. For some reason, the best place on the island drummed up images of a run-down cottage with wood veneer and appliances that dated back to the Nixon administration. But I’d made do with less.

  A lot less.

  “Are you staying in Ocracoke long?” the pilot hollered over his shoulder as we left the airport.

  I looked down as the ground grew farther and farther away.

  “Uh, I’m not sure,” I answered, feeling less than chatty as my buzz began to wear off.

  “Ah, well, that’s how a lot of us got hooked, you know.”

  “Hooked?”

  “On the island,” he explained. “I used to be a Midwestern man myself, until I came down here for a vacation one year. That’s all it took. Twelve months later, my wife and I had sold our house and moved down here permanently. Never regretted it for a moment.”

  I looked out the window, down at the dark blue water.

  “Pretty sure I’ve had all the island life I can handle at this point. This is only temporary.”

  He chuckled, obviously catching my joke, aiming my displeasure over my country of origin. “Not too fond of jolly old England?”

  I swallowed hard as I tried not to let my mind wander back to my childhood. “Let’s just say, I won’t be going back anytime soon.”

  He must have caught the hesitant tone in my voice. “Well, I hope Ocracoke works out better for you. Island-wise, I mean. I’ll give you some peace and quiet while I work on getting us back on the ground.”

  “Thank you,” I said, taking one last look out the window as the sun began to melt into the horizon.

  He gave me a quick wave as he got back to work, flipping dials and doing whatever it was that pilots did, while I sat back and tried to figure out what my next move would be. I promised Dean a new memorial, but the honest truth was, I wasn’t even sure I could give it to him.

  I guessed time would tell.

  At least I was away from my brother and New York.

  And all the stress that went with it.

  Less than twenty minutes later, the plane landed with a bit of a jump and a jolt. “Strong gusts from a storm offshore,” he explained as we taxied into a small parking lot off the runway. “Welcome to Ocracoke,” he said as we came to a stop.

  I did the typical thing most travelers did when they arrived at a new place. I pressed my head up to the small window, squinted, and took a long, panoramic view of my new surroundings.

  There wasn’t much to the place. Just a small hut of a building that made up the entirety of the airport and a large parking area for planes and cars.

  No fuss. No frills. Only the basics. I had a feeling that was going to be the theme for this little adventure.

  I began to gather up my things when a small SUV pulled into the parking lot.

  “I have a feeling that’s my ride,” I said, pointing to the vehicle as the pilot helped me out.

  “Ah, yes, I flew her in from Greenville about an hour ago.”

  “Her?” I said, taking another look out the window.

  Unfortunately, the mystery woman kept herself shut inside, preventing me from catching a peek before I headed outside.

  “Jesus,” I said, the moment the hot air hit me. It was like walking into a sauna. Sweat instantly beaded across my brow, and the air felt thick in my lungs.

  “That’ll be the humidity.” He chuckled. “I’d say you’ll get used to it, but I never have. Still sweat like a damn pig and beg for fall every time June rolls around.”

  “I can see why,” I replied, immediately removing my blazer as I stepped onto the pavement. I was no stranger to humidity. I’d been living in New York so long, I considered it my hometown, but this? This made the sweltering summer heat in the city seem like a nice sunny day at the North Pole.

  A car door slammed nearby, causing my eyes to jolt forward.

  “Be careful with that one,” he said under his breath. “I think she’s had a bad day.”

  I let out a sort of muffled snort. “Haven’t we all?”

  I didn’t know what I had been expecting when I saw her step toward us. Maybe a beach bum, like the friendly pilot. Maybe a plain Jane—this was the middle of nowhere after all—but definitely not a sophisticated goddess in heels.

  “Fuck me.” The words were barely a whisper under my breath, but the pilot caught them all the same and I heard him chuckle beside me.

  My eyes narrowed to get a better look, zeroing in on the subtle sway of her hips and the causal confidence she seemed to carry. Everything about her—from the long blonde curls that framed her face to her startling blue eyes—seemed to mesmerize me.

  “Jimmy, we’ve got to stop meeting like this. People will begin to talk,” she said to the pilot, stepping up to greet us.

  “Aiden Fisher,” I said, holding out my hand like a damn fool. In the few seconds since she’d dropped into my world, I’d become completely fixated on her.

  A slight curve to her lips sent shivers down my spine, making me wonder what they’d feel like against mine.

  Or wrapped around my—

  “Okay,” she replied, sounding less than enthused. “As you can see, Aiden,” she said my name with distaste, “I was having a conversation with my buddy Jimmy. You know Jimmy, right?”

  “Uh,” I uttered, slightly dumbfounded by her out-of-the-blue animosity toward me. Couldn’t she feel the connection? The heat? “I don’t believe we had the pleasure of exchanging names while I was on board.”

  A satisfied grin spread across her face. “You mean, you didn’t bother to ask for his, did you?”

  Jimmy, clearly uncomfortable with our conversation, stepped back. “I’m gonna go lock up. You two have a good night.”

  And then the man scurried off like a damn weasel, leaving me alone with the crazy-hot chick of my dreams.

  “Look, I know you’ve had a rough day, but I don’t think it’s exactly fair for you to take it out on me,” I said, hoping to clear the air.

  Her eyebrows rose as she crossed her arms in front of her. “You know I’ve had a rough day? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  Whoa.

  I shrugged, finding my bearings once again. S
he might have surprised me with her less than perky mood, but I wasn’t about to back down from a challenge.

  Especially when it was so damn good-looking.

  “Jimmy said something to that effect. In fact, his exact words were, ‘Be careful with that one.’”

  Her eyes drifted across the lot where our pilot was doing his best to blend into the darkening sky. He slipped into his car and was buzzing away in no time.

  Smart man.

  “Look, not that it’s any of your business, or Jimmy’s—God, I hate this town—but I am fine. Totally, completely fine.”

  I cleared my throat as she began to walk away in the direction of her vehicle. “Clearly,” I said, still enjoying the view.

  Even if it was a little crazy.

  After we loaded my luggage in the car and set forth for the inn, things got quiet.

  And then they got awkward.

  Awkwardly quiet.

  Finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, she spoke, “Look”—she let out a long sigh—“I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this hostess thing. Never have been.”

  “Kind of an awful career to pick then, don’t you think?”

  Her eyes briefly met mine before focusing back on the road. “What? Oh no. That’s my sister you’re thinking of. The inn is hers. Well, it belongs to the whole family, I guess, but Molly runs it.”

  “And you are?” I asked, realizing I still didn’t know her name.

  “Millie.”

  “Your parents named you Millie and Molly? That’s quite terrible.”

  “I think they were going for cute. But, yeah, it’s pretty terrible.”

  “So, where is Molly now?”

  “In the hospital. In labor. Or at least, she was.”

  “She’s having a baby? Now?”

  Nodding, she smiled. “She had one. This afternoon. A beautiful baby girl named Ruby. Or so I’ve been told.”

  “You haven’t been there? To the hospital?”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, Ocracoke is a tad remote. The closest hospital is about two hours away and requires an hour-long ferry ride across the sound.”

  Things were starting to become a littler clearer in regard to her bad day.