Donuts & Daydreams

by Elizabeth Maddrey

  Kenia chuckled. “That’s a definite benefit to working in a bookstore. Plenty of reading material at hand and you’re encouraged to know the stock.”

  “Dream job, then.” He grinned and slipped his arm over her shoulder. Still nothing. It was like putting his arm around Ruth. What was wrong with him?

  “You ever think of hiring extra help at the bakery?”

  “I have lately. We’re going to have to soon. Serena had three phone calls with her agent while they were away and there’s a new script waiting for her at home. If she’s away filming again, Micah’s going to be heading out to see her more often.”

  “Do you blame him?”

  “Oh, no. Not at all. But I can’t handle the bakery on my own long term. Mal’s hopeless in the kitchen. He can do the cashier job well enough, but he doesn’t love it. Most of the folks who come in know he’s deaf, but even still, people don’t always remember to look his way and speak so he can read their lips. Add in that he’s still self-conscious about how his voice sounds and it’s not a favorite job for him.” Jonah shrugged. One more thing to add to his to-do list. He should call Paige Jackson, his friend from culinary school back in D.C., and see if she had any ideas. Maybe check in with Javier Quintana, too. At least he was local and might have some local contacts. “I’m probably okay for now. At least for a little bit. What’s your week look like?”

  Kenia shrugged. “More of the usual. I don’t have an employee just back from his honeymoon to retrain.”

  Jonah laughed. “Hopefully there won’t be too much retraining involved. You hungry at all? I’ve been playing with king cakes—seems like it might be a fun thing to offer for Mardi Gras this year.”

  “I like cake.”

  “Great. I’ll get us some. Coffee?”

  “Sure.”

  He nodded as he stood. Why wasn’t there a void when he wasn’t touching her anymore? Sometimes he missed Gloria when he had to duck into the kitchen when she visited the bakery. It would come. It had to. Because Gloria wasn’t an option, which meant he either decided to be single or he made it work with someone else. Kenia might as well be that person. “Want to put on a movie?”

  “Yeah. I’d like that.” She smiled, her eyes sparkling.

  Okay. Please, God. Let this work. Make me feel something for her. Or make it clear what I’m supposed to do. ‘Cause I’m at a loss.

  * * *

  “So, how was the honeymoon?” Jonah flipped a ball of dough into a bowl and covered it.

  “Why do people ask that?” Micah shook his head as he scooped batter into muffin tins. “It’s embarrassing and I have no idea what to say, but it’s what everyone asked at church yesterday, too.”

  What was wrong with the question? “You went on vacation, what’s the big deal?”

  “Really? Honeymoon, man. We weren’t exactly doing a lot of sightseeing. Not outside the resort, at least.”

  “Oh.” Heat flooded Jonah’s cheeks. “That wasn’t even on my radar. I’m pretty sure no one else was asking about your sex life, either.”

  “Yeah, well. Honeymoon.” Micah slipped the trays into the oven and set the timer. “People need to use their brains and not ask stupid questions.”

  “Sorry. It’s good to have you back, man.”

  “About that...”

  Jonah’s stomach sank. “Yeah?”

  “We mentioned the script at lunch yesterday. Serena was up all night reading it, she really wants the part. She’s going to fly out probably next week for a table reading, maybe the week after. But if she gets it, I’m thinking I’ll want to take long weekends fairly regularly.”

  “That makes sense. I don’t love it, but I understand it. Kenia mentioned hiring help yesterday after everyone left. I thought I’d have more time though. Guess I’ll be making some phone calls this afternoon.”

  “What’s up with Kenia?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Micah gave him a long, measuring look. “You know exactly what I mean. I thought she was just a plus one for the wedding. You serious about her?”

  Was he? How could he be? Jonah measured flour into the bowl of the mixer to start the dough for a new batch of donuts. He hadn’t been bothering with them since before the New Year. Gloria...he sighed. He wasn’t going to think about Gloria.

  “There’s a lot going on in your brain. Does this have to do with Gloria?” Micah scrubbed at the prep counter.

  “Has she been to see Serena yet?”

  “I think they’re grabbing lunch this week. Why?”

  Jonah didn’t want to be the one to tell his brother about Gloria being married. Then it would get back to Serena and that should be Gloria’s to explain. Except, how long could they keep it quiet? The husband was staying with Ruth. He was pretty sure Mal knew, which meant Ursula knew. He cleared his throat. “If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell your wife?”

  Micah’s eyebrows shot up. “Uhh. I’m pretty sure that’s against the marriage rules.”

  “Probably. Forget I said anything. Let’s just leave it where it was. Gloria isn’t an option. She made that clear and I’m working to respect her wishes. Kenia is sweet and fun to hang out with.”

  “So are puppies.”

  Jonah glared at his brother.

  Micah held up his hands. “Just saying.”

  “I like her, okay? Maybe it’s not rockets and lighting strikes when we touch, but that’s not the only thing that matters in a relationship. Right?”

  Micah frowned. “Don’t settle, man. Maybe Gloria isn’t the woman God has for you, but that doesn’t mean you need to rush out and find the first available woman.”

  Of course it didn’t. And this summer, he would’ve agreed that being single wasn’t terrible. Except now he was rattling around in the big farmhouse by himself, all his siblings were married, and the first woman he’d loved in more than five years was married to someone else. Having someone who looked at him the way Kenia did? It filled a hole he hadn’t realized was aching until it went away.

  6

  Gloria slid into a booth in the Jukebox and checked her watch. Serena was late. It wasn’t too unusual, but it was still annoying. They’d put off lunch twice already this week and as much as she wanted to catch up with her friend, Gloria dreaded explaining how she was married and hadn’t mentioned it to her bestie. Although at least she wouldn’t be the first to break the news. There was no way the Baxters had managed to keep it quiet.

  A flash of red hair at the front of the restaurant caught Gloria’s eye. She raised her hand and waved.

  Serena rushed to the table. “Sorry! I’m so late—I got caught up. I’ve got so many orders, I forgot to put things on vacation mode before the honeymoon. I sent emails explaining that it was going to take some time, but still, I need to get them handled as soon as I can. Then there’s the script.”

  “Another one?” Gloria tucked her menu behind the napkin holder and glanced around for a server.

  “It’s amazing. Maybe better than the movie I just wrapped...” Serena trailed off. “You’re not interested in this at all, are you?”

  “Oh, no. I am.” Had no one told Serena? “I guess I thought you’d have something else you’d want to talk about.”

  Serena frowned, clearly confused. “Such as...?”

  “I can’t believe Micah didn’t tell you.” Gloria sighed. So much for not being the one explaining everything. “Such as the fact that I’m married and my estranged husband is staying at the B&B with Ruth and Corban?”

  Serena’s jaw dropped.

  The waitress appeared at the table, saving Gloria from whatever immediate reaction Serena had. They placed their orders, Serena never breaking eye contact.

  “It’s not April, so this isn’t some kind of horrible joke. How did I not know this? Even if you didn’t tell everyone...you know everything about me. Why would you keep this a secret?”

  “It just didn’t matter. I wasn’t looking to date—and being a cop who’s happier in sw
eatpants during her off hours pretty much keeps anyone from asking. Even you’ve pointed out how unfeminine I am. I didn’t think it would ever be an issue.”

  “So...now it’s an issue?”

  Gloria turned and looked out the window, letting her gaze roam over the cars in the parking lot. Could she admit it out loud? No. There was no point. Jonah was involved with Kenia and she was much more suitable. “Frank’s in town. That kind of makes it hard to keep a secret.”

  “Is he—are you getting back together?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve set up two appointments this week with the pastor, and Frank has blown both of them off. I’m not sure what he’s doing, but he always calls and apologizes, saying he got caught up. It’s so like him, I can’t even drum up the energy to be upset about it. If it doesn’t benefit him, Frank doesn’t do it.”

  “And fixing your marriage doesn’t benefit him?” Serena crossed her arms. “Sounds like a real winner.”

  Gloria winced at Serena’s tone. “He wasn’t always like this. In fact, if you were to ask him, he’d say it’s my fault. After all, I’m the one who ‘got religion.’ I can’t blame him, really. I’m not the same person he married. I just happen to think that’s a good thing.”

  “You don’t want him back.”

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “How? You’re not in love with him, that’s obvious.”

  Gloria frowned. “How is it obvious?”

  Serena waited while their food was delivered and said a perfunctory prayer. “Because, if you loved him you’d have told everyone about him and would be doing whatever you could to get back together with him.”

  Probably true. That had certainly been how she behaved at first, before Frank made it clear that it was him or Jesus. Her choice had been simple, then, and it wasn’t what Frank expected. Not that he’d seemed to care all that much. By that time, he’d been drunk more often than he was sober and happily filling his hours with the women who frequented whatever bars he visited.

  “I’m right, aren’t I?”

  Gloria nodded.

  “So, if you can’t fix your marriage, why haven’t you divorced him?”

  “I made a vow. It matters.”

  Serena nodded. “Okay, I can see that. But I’m not sure anyone would blame you for breaking it. Not at this point.”

  Gloria’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe you’re right.”

  * * *

  She still didn’t know what to do.

  In the almost two weeks since her lunch with Serena, Gloria had kicked around her options to no avail. Frank was no help. He’d come to one counseling session with the pastor and afterward declared it a hilarious waste of time. He hadn’t come back.

  Ruth said he left the B&B early each morning and came back late at night. What he was doing in the off time was anyone’s guess. Gloria never ran into him when she was on patrol, so he was probably off in Twin Falls or, who knew, somewhere else.

  Today was it, though. She was going to figure out, one way or the other, where this marriage was going. If Frank wanted to reconcile, then he had to work at it too. And if he didn’t, well, then it was time. Past time.

  Heaviness settled on her chest. Divorce. It was like a big stamp of failure on her forehead. Maybe that was an antiquated viewpoint, but it was how she felt.

  She pulled the cruiser to a stop in front of the Fairview B&B. It was time to get this sorted out. One way or another.

  Ruth opened the front door with a pained smile, one hand rubbing circles on her baby bump. “I’m glad you called. I went upstairs to clean Frank’s room. I think he’s gone.”

  “What do you mean?” Gloria stepped into the foyer and unzipped her coat. “He’s supposed to meet me and the pastor this afternoon. Not that I think he’ll actually come, but...”

  “Why don’t you go upstairs and look, third door on the left. There’s an envelope up there with your name on it.” Ruth winced and drew in a sharp breath. “I’m going to make some tea. Come find me in the kitchen when you’re done.”

  Gloria nodded and headed up the stairs. She hadn’t been upstairs in the B&B before. She’d spent plenty of time in the kitchen or at the long dining room table where the Baxters gathered for family meals and parties. And they didn’t limit it to family, obviously. They’d always included her, as well as Pam and Emerson and their kids, friends of Corban’s since he was a child, and anyone from church who didn’t have anything to do. It was the first time she’d had a group of friends that weren’t part of her job—in the Corps, her friends had all been coworkers, and it was much the same on the force here in Arcadia Valley. Although, she hadn’t gone out of her way to develop many deep friendships. Felipe had wormed his way in. Being happily married with kids had made it easier to let her guard down. Really, until the Baxters came to town, it was Serena and a handful of acquaintances.

  Gloria opened the door to the room where Frank had stayed. It felt empty. There was nothing personal—no suitcase, no random clothes set aside, nothing that would indicate Frank was staying here. He’d never been messy. She hadn’t expected to see things strewn around, but Ruth was right. Frank was gone.

  Propped on the little writing table Ruth had tucked in a corner was a manila envelope with her name written in his broad scrawl across the front. She crossed the room, picked it up, and lowered herself to the straight-backed chair before opening the clasp.

  A thick sheaf of papers slid into her hands, a handwritten note was paper clipped to the front.

  Gloria,

  I think it’s past time I gave you these. I’ve had them for several years now, but it’s never seemed important enough to do anything with them. I get the dates updated frequently enough that my lawyer assures me they’ll be fine as they are. Since my address of record is in Nevada, I’ve met the residency requirement. Once you sign and notarize these and send them in, the divorce should be final in about a week. I guess a state that specializes in drive-through weddings is somewhat obligated to have a quick solution to the problem, too.

  I still don’t think this Jesus-thing is worthwhile, but it’s clearly working for you, and you shouldn’t be held back from a full life because of someone like me.

  We had some good times. That’s what made me check in one last time, see if maybe you were back to the woman I remember. You’ll always be a memory that makes me smile.

  If you ever think of me, shoot up a prayer, would you? I’m not positive there really is a big guy up there, but it can’t hurt, right?

  --Frank

  Heart hammering in her chest, Gloria slid Frank’s note aside, her vision blurring with tears as she read the boilerplate legalese that signaled the demise of her marriage. She wasn’t sad. Not really. But it was an ending to something that had meant something to her and it probably was good that it still hurt a little. She stuffed the paperwork back into the envelope and clutched it to her chest. At least she didn’t have to make the decision now.

  She wiped her eyes and stood. A stack of green on the desk caught her eye. It must’ve been hidden by the envelope. Gloria smiled slightly and picked up the stack of twenty dollar bills, deep down, Frank was a good guy. He just needed to remember that. Maybe in time God would make His presence known. She’d keep praying to that effect.

  Downstairs, Gloria peeked into the kitchen.

  Ruth looked up.

  “You’re right. He’s gone. But he did leave you this.” She crossed to the kitchen table and set the money in front of Ruth. “If that doesn’t cover his bill, you let me know and I’ll make up the difference.”

  “He wasn’t a guest, just a friend of a friend. I don’t...”

  “Keep it. Okay?”

  Ruth gave a grudging nod. “Can I get you some tea?”

  “I need to get back to my rounds. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Just tired and my head’s been hurting all day, probably a pressure change. Plus, my ankles are starting to swell. All the joys of pregnancy.” Ruth shrugged a
nd sipped her tea. “What about you? You look a little pale.”

  “I’ll be all right.” Gloria studied Ruth. It wasn’t just her ankles that were swollen, her face was a little puffier, too. That could be from fatigue, couldn’t it? “Go put your feet up. Since Frank’s gone, maybe you and Corban should close for a bit—you’ve been overdoing.”

  “Now you sound like Jonah. And Corban, for that matter. I’m all right. We’ve got quite a few reservations around Valentine’s Day, but that’s two weeks out. Maybe...maybe I’ll talk to Corban about closing until then.” Ruth started to stand.

  “Stay put. I can see myself out. Thanks for letting Frank bunk here. I appreciate it.”

  “Will he be back?” Ruth’s gaze caught and held hers.

  “No. No, he won’t.”

  Ruth nodded. “I’m sorry?”

  “Don’t be. It’s time.” Gloria tapped the envelope. “I’ll see you later. Holler if there’s anything I can do, okay?”

  Back in her cruiser, Gloria set the envelope in the passenger seat and stared at it. The bank was still open. So was the church. Was the secretary a notary? It’d be worth stopping in to find out. The cashiers at the bank were all busybodies. She’d just as soon not have this news all over town before dinner.

  7

  “No donuts today?” Kenia grinned at Jonah as she eyed the remaining treats in the display case.

  He shook his head. Even though she’d decried it as a stereotype, Gloria had always been willing to sample his donuts and make suggestions for new flavors. Since she was no longer coming around, he’d lost his taste for them. “Sorry. I do have turnovers. And apple fritters.”

  “Ooh. An apple fritter. I’ll do that.” She came around the counter and wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing gently.

  Jonah returned the hug. Why couldn’t it be different than hugging his sister? He needed to try harder, obviously. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “What brings you out of the bookstore on a weekday afternoon?”