Heartbreaker Breaks (A Bittersweet Lottery Love Story) (Tangled Hearts & Broken Vows: Tales of Infidelity Book 1)

by Paloma Meir

  “Lack of object constancy…” Faye said to herself.

  “What? Lack of what?”

  “I’m sure he doesn’t want to be free of you,” She looked to him and decided not to explain it to him a lack of object constancy was a symptom of an attachment disorder, of which she was certain he was suffering from, “I’m sure if you called him right now, he would be happy to hear from you.” She reached for her phone and held it up to him, “A physical distance does not equal an emotional distance.”

  “No Faye,” He shook his head as if she were a small child suggesting a trip to the moon, “But thanks.” He added sarcastically.

  The waiter appeared with a cart full of silver domed platters and served their dinner on the small table between them.

  “New rule Faye, and this one’s for you. No more trying fix me, okay? You threw a bummer onto our great day.”

  “It was a great day, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it was…” He stared into her eyes, hypnotizing her, “What are you doing tomorrow? Going into work?”

  “No… I haven’t been to my workspace in two weeks. This lottery business is taking all of my time. I’m lucky to have an excellent assistant overseeing the day- to-day responsibilities. I’m touring a shelter downtown tomorrow. You could come with me. We could have lunch in Little Tokyo.”

  “A homeless shelter? Why are you touring it?"

  “I want to make sure my donations will be responsibly taken care of. Some of the shelters suffer from horrible mismanagement.”

  “That’s a lot of work, but okay. What are you going to do with all that money?”

  The tension between the two of them faded away as she told him of all the things she had done to ensure her privacy and her plan to rid herself of the money by the end of the year. He asked about why she was hiding all of it from her husband. Her answers were evasive. He accepted her reluctance to discuss it further.

  Chapter Nine

  Faye ran from the garage into her house. She was happy to see that Adam’s car was not in the space next to hers. The sight of him would have dulled the inexplicable happiness that had filled her since she had woken up on Nick’s shoulder in the car.

  He had insisted on taking the driver’s seat on the way back to Los Angeles, saying that Faye looked sleepy. He had been correct. She had fallen asleep before they had exited the long and winding driveway of the hotel.

  Faye slept deeply, waking to the feel of his fingers running through her hair and Nick's deep voice, gently saying her name over and over again. She had kept her eyes closed for a few moments, wanting to hold onto to the sweet and peaceful feeling. Opening her eyes, she turned her head, her nose grazed his and the timber of his laugh sent waves of bliss through her.

  After how long she did not know, she moved away from him, sitting straight up in her seat. This made him laugh even more. She felt as if he could read her every thought, and she didn’t mind. She hoped he would explain it to her because she had no idea what was going on.

  A few minutes of talk of nothing important, followed by confirmation of a time and place to meet the following day and Faye drove off. Her first impulse was to call Cassandra, tell her the crazy story. The day had made Faye feel like a teen again.

  However, Faye was not a teen, and she knew tending to responsibilities came before fun. She walked purposely through her house, making as much noise as possible. She called out to Adam, wanting to ensure that he was not home. He could have gone out for drinks with Dario and taken an Uber home. It was unlikely, but she needed to be certain.

  Satisfied that she was alone, she headed into the family room/office and securely shut the door behind her. She sat down on the computer chair she hadn’t thought of since buying fifteen years before. The swiveling chair definitely showed its age but functioned as a chair should, sturdy and comfortable.

  Faye wasn’t one to replace what wasn’t thoroughly unusable or broken beyond repair, but she made a mental note to look into the newer ergonomic models. She thought of the chic and prohibitively expensive furnishing stores on Beverly Blvd in West Hollywood. She had never dared to do much beyond stare into the windows of those shops before.

  “No,” she said out loud to herself, “That’s how it starts. One chair turns into one office table, and on and on until we’re beyond broke, living in squalor.”

  She turned on the computer she had been using since her oldest daughter had started high school. She thought of updating and getting the latest model. Again she reprimanded herself. The computer was fine, perfect working order.

  She opened the browser to the Special Olympics webpage and searched for the Los Angeles chapter. She usually devoured the information regarding the charities, reading even the smallest print of their mission statement, but not this night. She donated 20,000 dollars and logged out in less time than it took for the page to open.

  Satisfied that she had atoned for Nick’s puckish misdeeds, she dug the phone out of her handbag and called Cassandra. “I had the most amazing day.” She slunk into her chair, legs splayed out.

  “Faye? What? It’s so late.”

  She glanced at the time on her computer and saw that it was past midnight, “Oh my gosh… I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I’ll call you in the morning.”

  “It’s okay,” She laughed, “I was just getting into bed. I’m surprised you’re up so late. Tell me about your day. Did you save all the downtrodden in our City of Angeles?”

  “No… I’ve only rid myself of 20,000 dollars today, Special Olympics—

  “Rid yourself, you’re so funny.”

  “I do need to work on shaking that feeling… I bought a house too, but that’s not important either—

  “That’s not important? You’ve lost your mind. I thought you were going to take me along before buying one.” She laughed again.

  “I forgot… I’ll take you down this weekend. It was Nick—

  “Nick? The boy you met in the Valley?”

  “Yes…him” Faye sang into the phone. “He picked it out… Well he didn’t pick it out but he knew it was the right one. He’s so—

  “He’s so hot? How did you? Why did you?” Her voice trailed off.

  “He was in front of my house this morning. He’s so deviant and disarmingly vulnerable. I don’t know, I can’t explain. I think I have a crush. Okay, I know I have crush. Absolutely ridiculous, but so much fun.”

  “This is the wrong kind of fun… Believe me, you know I’ve always thought you should have an affair, show Adam or maybe yourself that you do not deserve to be taken for granted, but this isn’t right.”

  “Stop, I’m not going to have an affair. I’m just having fun. Things are very stressful right now with Adam and the curse of the money. I’m trying to turn into something positive. Nick makes me feel—

  “I can imagine how he makes you feel… Do you remember how you worried about people finding you, swindling you out of your money?”

  “Serge took care of that—

  “I know he did, but now you’re inviting one of them in.”

  “Nick’s not like that.”

  “Didn’t you tell me he was a big-time drug smuggler?”

  “I’m sure I never said that,” A laughing fit fell over Faye and she found it hard to catch her breath, “He hustles through life. He’s not much different than Adam at that age.”

  “I don’t remember Adam engaging in illegal activity.”

  “Adam was always selling things. The origins of those items were questionable at best.”

  “So you’re looking to have an affair with a young Adam? I should have forced you on Serge. Serge was a dream…”

  “I’m not going to have an affair.”

  “Sure, if you say so.”

  “Stop, let me tell you about my day—

  “How was your day?” Adam asked.

  Faye shot up out of her chair and threw her phone up in the air, barely catching it in her hand, “Adam you scared me.”

  She looked
closely at him for a sign of how long he had been in the room, if he heard her talking about Nick. His expression was what it had been since she had stomped out of their bedroom a month before, downcast with a trace of shame. She felt safe that he had not heard her girl-like infatuation confessions to Cassandra.

  “Sorry….” He stared off and ran his hand through his hair.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow Cassandra. Goodnight.” Faye put her phone down but didn’t get up from the chair.

  “You’re up so late.” Adam said in her general direction.

  “I’ll be up to bed in a minute,” she replied.

  The idea of trudging up the stairs by his side was more than she could handle.

  “Faye…” He sighed deeply and looked directly at her as if were the most difficult of tasks. “I love you… It didn’t mean anything.”

  If he had ended his apology at that, Faye knew she would have melted and happily tried to mend the damage.

  But he continued, “It was only the one time…”

  Faye shook her head in disgust and turned back to computer, mindlessly opening a webpage when all she wanted to do was go to sleep, “That’s fine Adam. I’ll be up in a moment.”

  “Can we put an end the coldness?” His voice was timid, void of the accent she had always loved.

  “Really, Adam, it’s fine. I’m just very busy with the Bergdorf's order.”

  “We should talk about this…”

  She turned to him, looking him directly in the eye, “Everything is fine, Adam.” The coldness in her voice shocked her, and she shook her head as if an actual chill had flown through her.

  He sighed heavily again, “Will you be coming up to bed soon?”

  “Soon,” She dismissively said.

  “Okay,” Adam walked away, scratching his head.

  Chapter Ten

  Faye picked up Nick the next day from his apartment as planned. He ran out to her car dressed in the slim-cut khakis and button down plaid shirt she had bought him at the shop in Laguna. She couldn’t help but smile, his youthful gait was disarming.

  “What are we going to do after we save the world?” He asked as bundled into the car, slamming the door.

  “It would be nice to save the world, but I don’t think I have enough money for that. The mission we’re visiting this morning is more of a band aid. Tomorrow I’m visiting the Chrysalis Center in Santa Monica. They provide job training and I think, housing. Excellent organization.”

  “Oh good, we can ride bikes over there. I’m not digging all the traffic we’re going to hit going downtown right now.”

  “Are you coming with me tomorrow too?” She glanced his way and asked and almost hit the curb as she turned the corner onto Pacific Ave.

  “Keep your eye on the road Faye,” He grabbed the steering wheel and straightened the trajectory of the car and nodded his head as if she were the youthful one, “You tired this morning? You want me to drive? And yes, I’ll go with you tomorrow, thanks for asking.” He laughed.

  “I’m fine,” She was actually more giddy than fine, “… Tomorrow… My bike was stolen a few months ago. I’ll have to get a new one.”

  “I don’t have one either. We can buy them on the boardwalk later when we get back to the beach. There’s a ton of bike shops there.”

  “I don’t want to get a bike from the boardwalk. They’re all so cheap and heavy. We’ll stop by Cynergy Cycles on Santa Monica.”

  “Those are kind of pricey Faye, out of my budget.” He leaned back in his seat and put his hands behind his head.

  “You know I’ve won the lottery, right?” She laughed and had an urge to pat his knee but resisted, “I’ll take care of it. I’ve always wanted a featherweight high performance bike. This is going to be fun.”

  “As long as you’re buying stuff, you should get yourself a new car. This one is downbeat. How old is this Volvo? It’s a mom car.”

  She jerked backwards, surprised by Nick’s word choice of downbeat. Adam used it often to describe what he didn’t like in life. She had an impulse to kick Nick out of her car and go home, work out her problems with Adam, hug him until he broke open.

  “You okay Faye?”

  “I’m fine… but maybe we should get breakfast before we go downtown.” The impulse to reconnect with Adam passed. “It is a mom car. I am a mother. My kids are away at college but that doesn’t take away the designation.” She pulled into the parking lot of the Rose Cafe.

  “If they’re in college that means you aren’t driving them around anymore. I would get a Maserati if I were you.”

  “I don’t really know how I would explain that to Adam…”

  “I still don’t get why you won’t tell him… But if you’re not going to tell him and you’re going to live this whole secret life, why don’t we head down to Rio? Carnival is coming up. Party on the beach.”

  “I think I’m a little too old to party on the beach,” She held her hand up to her mouth and laughed lightly.

  “You don’t seem old to me,” He shrugged his shoulder and opened the car door, “You’re hot Faye.”

  “Well… thank you,” She mumbled, uncomfortable with his compliment, “I’m not getting a Maserati and I’m sorry that we can’t go to Rio but I am going to get a new office chair. I’m not going to be cheap about it either. High end, Henry Miller. They have a shop in Santa Monica. We can go tomorrow after our tour of the Chrysalis Center.”

  “That’s a good start, but I’m going to get you to buy that Maserati.”

  He held out his hand to her. She pretended she didn’t see the offer and walked purposefully ahead of him, “That’s how it all starts, a Maserati, a house in the South of France and then suddenly you’re homeless.”

  “You watch too much TV.”

  “I don’t think so…”

  …

  A few weeks later the two of them sat on a bright red velvet oblong sofa at B & B Italia on Beverly Blvd. Their tours of homeless and outreach centers had dwindled. They spent their days eating at trendy restaurants and shopping for her new home in Laguna.

  “It’s a little bright. I don’t know if you want to wake up to this sofa every morning.” He moved a strand of hair away from her face.

  Faye had grown used to his gentle touches, the guiding of her with his hand on her lower back, taking her hand if they were in a rush. She sensed a lustful feeling emanating from him but put it into the back of her mind, never taking him seriously. He was too young, but she did enjoy his attentions.

  “I could order it in a different color. It is quite comfortable.” She leaned back into the cushion, letting it envelop her.

  “You look a butterfly coming out of her cocoon with the way it surrounds you.” He sat up and turned towards her, gazing onto her.

  “You’re quite the sweet talker.” She nuzzled deeper into the sofa, closing her eyes.

  She felt the warmth of him coming closer, hovering above, his warm breath heavy. A deep sigh, and then his lips were on hers, a deep kiss, a pull on her lips. Her arms moved instinctively around his broad back and she lost herself for a moment.

  Nick leaned into her, his chest pressing against hers as his lips traveled to her neck, kissing and whispering sweet words she could not hear. She rolled her neck, willing the attention. He did not disappoint, the tip of his nose feathering her throat.

  A loud cough filled the room and Faye came to her senses and jumped away. Nick sat up and placed his arm over his lap with a laugh, “Faye, let’s go… That hotel across from the Beverly Center. Come on,” He awkwardly stood up and extended his hand.

  Faye didn’t move as tension filled her body, “No… I don’t know what just happened but it can’t happen again.”

  “You don’t know what happened?” He said down beside her, “What happened is what you wanted to happened. Where do you think all of this has been heading?”

  “I thought we were just friends.” She knew she sounded ridiculous but couldn’t think of another way to phrase it
.

  “I thought we were dating, but truthfully I’ve never waited longer than a day for anyone before.”

  “You are very attractive,” She wished she hadn’t said that, “I can see why girls jump to you that way, but I’m married and you know that.”

  “Yeah, well I’ve got Stacey the stripper stopping by every few days but that doesn’t mean I have a relationship with her. But you know what? I think Stacy and I have more going on than whatever you have going on with Adam.” He sighed and shook his head vigorously.

  Faye looked away towards the counter and saw the group of salespeople sneaking glances their way and whispering.

  “Let’s talk about this in the car,” she stood up.

  He followed her line of vision, “Because of them? Who cares about them? You’re about to spend 28,000 dollars on a sofa. They’re going to kiss your ass until the end of time.”

  His voice was loud and traveled across the room. The sales associates turned away but Faye sensed they were still whispering amongst themselves.

  “Nick… Forget about Adam for a moment. This kind of behavior is why nothing can happen between us. You’re acting like a child. I’m an adult, a middle-aged woman,” The words middle-aged stuck in her throat as if she wanted to deny that part of herself, “I’m well past making scenes in public.”

  “I’m childish now?” His voice was heavy with sarcasm, “You run around all day long as if you’re going to save the world but you know what you’re doing? Hanging out with me. You’re deluded, and I see right through it. You want to be with me as much as I want to be with you.”

  “Nick, I will not talk about this in front of an audience.” She threw herself upwards and strode defiantly across the concrete floors, leaving a trail of echoing taps in her wake.

  “Wait up…” Nick called out to Faye who was already half a block up the road.

  “This is it for us. I’m dropping you off and we won’t see each other anymore,” She thought her heart was going to break as the words spilled out of her mouth.