by Paloma Meir
Faye heard trails of the shop assistants speaking, “Love can be so unexpected…” and smiled to herself.
“Hey, I got you something.” Nick dug into the pocket of his pants and took a thread-thin platinum chain dotted with heart shaped diamonds.
“Nick…” She took it from his outstretched hand, admiring the delicacy of the metalwork, “You didn’t pay for this… I’m touched… I can’t express how touched but…”
“You just spent like 15,000 dollars… The bracelet was like 300.00, they’re not going to come after me.”
“Why are you always so sure of these things?” She looked him squarely in the eyes and asked, “You will get caught one day.”
“You’re worth jail time,” He gestured his head towards the spa door, “Come on let’s get this over with… I know you’re trying to turn me into one of your girlfriends, but it’s not going to work. I’m all man Faye.”
“A boyish man at best…” She felt tears well in her eyes and made a mental note to call the store when she got home and explain she accidentally picked up a piece of jewelry without paying. There was no way she would return the bracelet. A sweeter gift, or maybe words had never been spoken to her before, she thought to herself.
A vision of Adam filled her mind’s eye, and she knew her thought wasn’t true. She waited for a feeling of guilt for her disloyalty of thought and action. The emotion didn’t come.
…
Wrapped in robes, and blissfully relaxed, they went up to their suite. They floated past the bags from their shopping binge and sat upon the edge of the bed, unmoving and quiet as if hypnotized. Faye struggled to suggest that they get ready for dinner, thought better of it and lay back on the stiff ornately embossed coverlet.
“Okay Faye… You did it, you turned me gay,” He lay down beside her and spoke in the cadence of someone barely awake. “Spa day, we’re doing it weekly ‘til all your money is gone.”
She opened her mouth to make a light joke about how their day, expensive as it was, wasn’t as much as the interest on the money for a month’s time. Too lazy to speak, she nuzzled against his arm. He adjusted his position so that her head lay on his chest and stroked her still damp hair.
“How are you doing on that anyway? We haven’t visited a charity… in like two weeks.”
“Hmmm,” was the only response she could muster. The tingles from the one and half hour massage hadn’t yet subsided.
“I don’t know what that means… but it’s sexy, like you.”
She managed to lift her hand and playfully swat his arm.
“Okay… I’ll leave it alone. But I’m going to point out again, that this kind of thing? You lying on me like this? This where I get the idea that you dig me.”
“I’ll move if you like,” She did not move, and couldn’t have if her life depended on it. Her body free of tension from the spa day and close to his was something close to paradise for her.
“I didn’t say that,” He pulled her closer, “You know what I’m curious about though?”
“You talk too much…” She mumbled into his chest, closing her eyes.
“Your whole money plan? Why are you so cheap with it? You’re leaving you and your family so little, not even a third of the money. Why not give your daughters a larger cut?”
The mention of Anja and Ines, woke her up with a sharp slap of reality. She rolled off of Nick’s chest and lay on her back, and stared up at the ceiling, “I don’t want to take away their drive. They’re young, what kind of life would they lead, what kind of people would they become, if everything were handed to them so easily?”
He took her hand in his. She flinched but didn’t shake it away, “40,000 annually is a lot of money, more than enough to give them a comfortable financial base should they want to pursue something… not certain. Even in New York City, they could live well with only the bare minimum of a job, if that’s what they want.”
“That makes sense but why not give them the lump sum before they’re forty? Why not thirty? That’s usually when people settle down.”
“That’s a fair point. I’ll consider it… Do you think you’ll be settled by thirty?”
“I don’t know, I could be dead by then.”
“You’re so morbid,” She shook his hand off hers. He held firm.
“You could set me up, like your kids.”
“Is that really what you want?”
“Nah, I wouldn’t take it even if you pushed it on me in that pushy way you have.”
“I don’t know what you mean by pushy. But you know, one day I’ll tell someone, someone I probably don’t even right now, the story of our time together. They’ll never believe you didn’t have nefarious financial intentions, that you weren’t trying to con me out of the money. We should get up and get ready for dinner.”
“That person, the one you don’t know yet? They’re an idiot, you should stay away from them.” He said and turned to look at her. She was asleep. He closed his eyes and joined her in slumber.
…
It was dark when they woke, face to face, noses touching. Faye opened her eyes wide to make him laugh but his expression was serious. His eyes, a rich emerald, the glint dulled. They lay still, pushed up against one another for a very long time.
The silence was broken by Nick, “It’s like I don’t even know my name when I look at you…” His lips were on hers, gentle touches at first, slowly moving across her mouth. She knew she should shoo him away, but she didn’t move.
Her heart pounded in her chest as Nick’s mouth opened onto hers. The truth became clear to her, how she had lied to herself. Her feelings for him were well beyond the feelings of connection, of friendship. She tried to think of Adam, to stop what she was giving into. But he was a world away.
Nick lifted up for a moment, opening the front of her robe, gently running his fingers up and down her chest, carefully avoiding her breasts, “Are we going to do this? You’re so beautiful.”
The answer was in her eyes. He nodded his head and opened her robe completely. She lay naked in ecstasy as he continued with the featherlike touches up and down her body. A moan escaped her and he tore off his robe, his strong body above her and the scent of him, overwhelming her.
“Faye, Faye…” He whispered over and over again between the kisses spread across her neck, her mouth. His body pressed against hers, a hardness against her thigh. She sighed heavily as she clutched his back tightly, becoming one with him.
…
The sun creeping through the thin space between the heavy linen curtains woke Faye. Her legs were entangled with Nick’s, who slept peacefully beside her. She hugged him closer, kissing the tip of his nose. Her heart soared.
The blink of the clock on the bedside table caught her attention. The time read 5:30. She sat up with a jolt. Adam would be sick with worry. The thought of calling him made her feel ill.
She leaned across Nick and picked up her cellphone. No messages, she felt relief. She quickly texted Adam, explaining that she had fallen asleep at Cassandra’s house. A call to Cassandra was in order to provide back up for her deception. She dreaded it.
“Cassandra,” she whispered into the phone, “I’m in Palm Springs… Ummm, I told Adam I was with you. I’ll explain later.”
“What time is It Faye?” Cassandra’s sleepy and slightly irritated voice asked, “What are you doing in Palm Springs? Oh, Faye, you’re with that boy, aren’t you?”
“I’ll call you when I get home.”
“No, I’ve been calling you for weeks. You’ve done a disappearing act… I knew it was because of him. He’s only going to hurt you. This is a mistake.”
“He means so much to me, please don’t speak about him that way.”
“What are you going to tell Adam?”
“That I fell asleep at your house.”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean what are you going to tell Adam about all of this? This so unlike you.”
“Can we talk about this when I get home?
Will you cover for me?”
“Yes, I’ll cover for you but I need you to know this a world apart from covering for each other like we did in high school. This has real world consequences.”
“You’ve always encouraged me to do this,” She glanced down at Nick, hoping she hadn’t woken him up with the unplanned argument with Cassandra.
“With an adult, a responsible one, not some criminal boy you met in the Valley.” She sighed into the phone, “You’re going through a lot right now, and you’re not making good decisions.”
“I’ll talk to you when I get home, okay? Bye.” She hung up the phone and tried to lay back into her previous position against Nick. No such luck, her body was tense and her mind raced with so many thoughts that none could take hold.
“Do I really mean a lot to you?” He whispered into her ear and ran his nose along her cheek.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“Yeah and you didn’t answer my question. Do I mean a lot to you?”
“What do you think, Nick?” She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing against him.
“I think that you’re married,” He kissed her deeply and hard before she could ask for clarification of what he meant.
…
With a buzzing happiness, she ordered breakfast while Nick was in the shower. The suite was a mess, bags and discarded robes all over the floor. Faye found she didn’t care, only wanting to stay in the room until the end of time. She sensed the world outside would crash upon them once they left, destroying their paradise.
The waiter knocked on the door as Nick exited the bathroom, the towel loosely tied low around his waist. The sight of his golden chest with a scattering of hair across caused Faye to fall back into the pillows, a giggle escaped her mouth. He glanced her way, a mischievous smile on his face, “I’ll bring you breakfast in bed,”
“You’ll be happy to know I tipped equal to the bill,” He laughed as he wheeled the silver domed cart towards the bed.
“Uggh, the money. Let’s not talk about it on this most perfect morning.” She laughed to him as he plated the dishes onto a tray and put it on her lap.
“Perfect morning?” He sat on the edge of the bed, next to her, a far off look in his eyes, “Yeah…. It’s great here. Reminds me of Las Vegas.”
“I didn’t know that you’ve been to Las Vegas. I suppose the climate is the same, a dry heat.”
“No, I’ve never been there… I meant, what’s that saying? What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas? Is that it?”
She put down the coffee cup she had been about to take a sip from and stared at Nick. All emotion drained from her. She felt empty with a strain in her chest, “Nick, what are you trying to say to me?”
“You know the drill, Faye,” He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips, “I’m going to go downstairs, okay? You’ll be ready soon? I’ll have the bellman come up to get the bags. See you in an hour?”
She lay back in the bed stunned as he dressed in khakis and green linen shirt they had bought the day before. Her stomach ached, and her heart pounded in her chest as he walked out the doors without a glance back to her. No, she must have misunderstood his intention, a human could never be so callous, she thought to herself.
The tray filled with her favorite foods, expertly prepared by Cordon Bleu trained chefs, looked like slop upon the fine china. She moved it off her lap and strained to get up. Her body lacked the will, and she fell backwards, crying into her hands.
…
She met him in the lobby a little over an hour later. Her face was tear-streaked and there was no way to hide it. Make-up was not something she wore regularly and all her handbag contained was lipstick and a tube of mascara, dried out from lack of use. She did have sunglasses, but couldn’t bring herself to wear them inside, no matter how much she needed to mask her face.
Nick chattered non-stop as they got into the car. He yammered on about the Lamborghini, the high performance aspects. All Faye wanted was for him to shut-up.
Every meaningless word stung. She was scared to speak to him, make herself vulnerable to someone she suddenly felt she didn’t know at all. She hated herself and felt taken for a fool. And not a word could pass her lips.
“Hey,” He pointed to an off ramp, not long in to their drive home, “Look at the sign. Hadley’s, didn’t you want to stop there? You still want the banana shake?”
Her stomach was queasy with emotion and hunger from having skipped her breakfast. She felt dizzy from the lack of food, but to answer him was too much. She grunted a barely perceptible sound of agreement.
He pulled off the highway without acknowledging her reply and was out of the car and in the store before her legs had extended from the car. She had an urge to run back to the highway, hitchhike home, be a million miles away from him. Instead she took the sunglasses from her bag and placed them on her face. Head held high, she joined in him in line to order the shakes.
“Stacey lives on bananas, and almonds,” He laughed as the line moved ahead, “Shame I can’t bring her a shake back. It would probably melt, right?” He looked at Faye, a cold smile on his face, “Fucking almonds, they’re good for your skin, at least that what she always says,” He shrugged, “She does have that dewy skin. Must be right about it.”
Faye looked down at her crossed arms. Her skin was taut, healthy. She had always taken care of herself, worn sunscreen, eaten well, like the newly anointed expert on nutrition, Stacey. It was also clear that as attractive and well maintained as she was, she would never be twenty again.
She ran her hands up and down her arms as a chill shot through her body. His putdown worked as planned, Faye went outside to the benches and sat down, head in her hands. The idea of driving the two hours home with Nick was unbearable.
She took her phone out of her purse and wondered if an Uber were available in such a faraway desert town. Nick walked out as she was about to select the icon and gestured his head towards the car. She followed him, willing his silence with every part of her being.
“Here Faye, drink it,” He handed her the shake as she sat down in the seat, “You’re looking a little… Ahhh never mind.”
She held it in her trembling hand, “Tired, drawn, old?” She managed to squeak out.
“No, you take good care of yourself, look great for your age.” He patted her hand. She found it condescending and whipped it away from him. He didn’t seem to notice.
“I take care of myself… Hmmm… Thanks.” She turned and stared out the window, closing her eyes, hoping to fall asleep.
“Yeah… Stacey won’t hold up as well as you have.”
Her face tensed as she squeezed her eyes shut, “I thought you broke up with Stacey.”
“I did, she was getting serious, kind of like… never mind… Girls, women, they get obsessed with me, you know? Anyway I told you if she came around again… I would see her. But we are over…”
Faye wanted to bang her head against the window to get him to shut up. He carried on for the whole of the drive home talking about every girl he had ever dated. He spoke of them in disparaging ways, mocking their devotion to him.
Every word out of his mouth sunk her deeper into a feeling of having been duped. She curled up on the car door, clutching the handle, ready to jump out as soon as they arrived back at the car rental lot. There wasn’t much traffic, and they made it back to Venice quickly, but it still felt like an eternity to Faye, an eternity in Hell.
She grabbed the Lamborghini keys away from him as he took their shopping bags from the trunk and placed them in the back seat of her Volvo. The rental associate looked up from his computer with a snide expression on his face. She rolled her eyes and threw the keys on the counter, slamming the door behind her.
Nick smiled warmly as she approached her car, making her mind reel. She got into the front seat, started her car and began to drive before Nick had shut the door. She wished he had fallen out as she accelerated down Venice Blvd towards his apartment.
“I’m fine,” A hard, false smile filled her face.
“Are you sure?” He tilted his head and asked.
“Please, just get your bags and get out of my car.”
“Faye—
“Get out of my car, Nick,” She gripped the steering wheel and said through gritted teeth.
He shrugged, opened his mouth to respond, thought better of it and got out of the car.
Faye took off with a screech.
Chapter Thirteen
She opened the door of her house to find Adam standing in the entryway, dressed in a navy linen suit, his lustrous dark hair pushed back. He had never looked as handsome to her and this made her hate him. She thought of all his affairs, and how he would come home after being with the women and behave as if he were blissfully in love with his wife.
She decided he was a sociopath.
“You sicken me.” She yelled at him and stormed to her office, slamming the door.
“Faye, what?” He ran behind her, and threw open the door.
“I need time away from you. Please just leave me alone.” She sat down and swiveled her new Henry Miller chair towards the impressive cinema screen she had purchased with her new computer.
“I thought we worked through this?” He flew to her side, and bent down on his knee, trying to take her hand in his.
“How do we work through a lifetime of infidelity?”
“We—
“Give me space,” She grunted at him, tensing her hands, banging them on her brand new computer table, “I’m so behind at work. I haven’t been to my studio in weeks.”
“What? I thought you went there everyday—
“Did you not hear me? Please just go.” She felt as if her head was going to crack open. All the lies about Nick, her work, the money tumbled around her mind, bewildering her.
