by Paloma Meir
“We haven’t progressed that far… but I’m sure that’s a possibility.” She found herself laughing, not believing that her first words of truth in many months were being treated as if they were a joke.
“Will he kiss you like this?” His lips moved up and down Faye’s outstretched neck, losing her angry resolve.
“That is something he does, or did once…”
“Once? I would say that makes us even then,” He laid on top of her, kissing her deeply, his hands playing with her hair, “You have to forgive me Faye.”
“No,” she moaned lightly as he sat up and removed his shirt.
…
Adam tenderly caressed her back as they walked down the stairs to the dining room. She leaned onto him and grazed his shirt-covered chest with her fingertips. The scent of him was strong from their tumble on the bed. She felt as if the previous few months had been a dream, and all was right again.
“Are you feeling better?” Anja asked as she placed the salad bowl on the table, next to the lasagna they had finished cooking while Faye had been upstairs with Adam.
“You’re not feeling well?” Dario asked.
“She had an anxiety attack. The rock of our home shook,” Adam laughed gently and held Faye closed to him.
“Is that what it was?” Faye wondered out loud, “No, I’m sure it was the sun.”
“Either way, I took care of you,” Adam trilled with a trace of lasciviousness in his voice.
“Gross Dad,” Ines said as she plopped down into the chair next to Dario.
“You girls are so conservative,” Dario patted Ines’s knee and winked to his older brother, “This is nothing compared to how they were when they first met. Love at first sight for your father. It took a minute or two for your mother.”
“Is it story time Uncle Dario?” Anja sat down at the table across from Dario and asked. “Please continue, but leave their amorous adventures out.”
“Since you asked so sweetly, of course Anja. I will tell the story… again. She was in her final year at Parsons, working part-time at a little clothing shop on Melrose… Such a staunchly middle-class girl, grew up in the Valley, a plumber’s dutiful daughter. Catholic school, am I remembering this correctly Faye? I don’t think she had ever met anyone as untamed as your father before,” He glanced up at his brother and sister-in-law still standing in the archway, bound to each other, Faye securely nuzzled onto Adam’s chest, “Aren’t you two going to sit down.”
“Oh… okay…” Faye muttered, lost in the dreaminess of the moment. She reluctantly let go of Adam but held onto his hand as they sat down at the table.
“Your father and I were rambling down the sidewalk, up to no good, loud, who knows what we were doing?” He laughed and gazed onto his older brother, “Your mother was standing in front the store, on her break, smoking a cigarette… You probably don’t want me to mention that part, Faye… Your father’s life was changed forever, and he fell to his knees, begging her for a date. She ran back into the store, fearing for her life by the look of it. But he didn’t give up, persistent. He wore her down, and she said yes…”
“Didn’t he steal a keychain from the store? Didn’t she get really mad at him for that?” Anja excitedly asked.
“She almost called the police on him….”
Faye leaned on Adam’s shoulder and serenely listening to the story that she had always liked Dario to retell, but she found her thoughts drifting to Nick. She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander.
Chapter Twelve
Faye looked out her front window a few minutes after Adam left to take the girls to the airport. Nick sat on the familiar tree stump a few houses down from hers. This was their usual routine for meeting, unless plans were made the previous day to meet elsewhere for breakfast, or to pick him up from his apartment for early excursions to the local tourist traps they liked to explore.
They never communicated via phone, text or through social media. It had never been discussed, but both intuitively knew being found out by accidental or prying eyes would put an end to their relationship. The deceit was commonplace for Nick and had grown to be normal for Faye. The subterfuge gave her a little thrill but also shamed her.
She brushed her hair with her fingers and pulled her shoulders back while taking a deep breath. The glowing sun highlighted the copper tones of his hair, sending a shiver through her but also causing her to question herself. He was so young, she reprimanded herself, and so troubled. She didn’t see how this could end well for either of them.
She almost closed the drapes and turned to her home office to deal with her most pressing issue, the money. He looked up to her with a light wave but no smile. Her heart did its leap, and she marched outside the door.
“Didn’t know if you were going to come outside. You looked pretty pissed yesterday.” He stood up and ran his hands along his backside, dusting away the dirt on his pants.
“Did I? That’s not how I felt.”
“You looked jealous.”
“I’ll have to get some Botox then. My face is clearly not conveying the emotions I’m feeling.”
“I broke up with her.”
“You shouldn’t have done that. She seems like a train wreck of a human, but she’s your age. We don’t have a future. I don’t even know what you want from me.”
“Woah,” He held up his hands, “I’m just letting you know… and if she turns up again I’m sure I’ll fuck her, but it’s over.”
“Please don’t speak that way.” Faye shook her head in disgust.
“Sure… What I’m saying is I don’t want anything from you. I chat up a hot lady eating too many muffins and now here we are… What do you want from me, is the question Faye.”
“I don’t want anything from you, half the time I feel like you’re my son… I don’t know anything about you but at the same time I know everything about you.” She took a step backwards.
He grabbed her arm, “What about the other half of the time?”
“Leave me alone,” She shook his hand off of her. “I’m married,” She screamed out into the road, surprising herself.
“What kind of marriage do you have? You’re with me everyday. How would your husband like that?”
“He wouldn’t like it,” She felt as if she were about to cry. “We can’t see each other anymore. I’m sorry.” She turned and slowly walked away, feeling as if she were breaking apart inside. Every step away from him was counted. All she wanted was to make it home without breaking down into tears.
“You mean this? This is it?” He yelled out, drawing the attention of an elderly man watering his lawn, “Then you’re going to have to stay away from me, no more biking by the apartment. When things are over with me, they’re done. No going back. You’ll be dead to me, Faye.”
The world flew around her head the way it had in the kitchen the day before. She felt faint and confused. There wasn’t any part of her that wanted Nick out of her life in any way at all. All she wanted was to find a way for him to be a part of hers.
She turned around, almost falling down and opened her mouth to speak. The words were stuck in her head, a swirling mass of incomprehensible thoughts. Nick was by her side in the blink of an eye, holding her up. “You okay?”
“Let’s just go somewhere, not talk about any of this… I don’t want to lose you. Let’s have a happy day… Let’s go to Palm Springs, okay? We’ll swim, like we did before.”
“That’s what you want?” He hugged her tightly, and she melted into his arms.
“Yes, no more arguing…” She felt her strength of mind returning, “The neighbor is watching us and I don’t care but I know I should.” She released herself from his arms, and looked toward the man gardening and nodded her head, acknowledging the dramatic scene playing out on the sidewalk and hoped he would see it as routine, nothing of note to mention to others.
They walked quietly and at a respectable distance from each other back to the front of her house.
“Y
ou going to run in and pack up for the day?” he asked, his manner back to their friendly way as she had requested.
“No, let’s have one of our reckless spending days. We’ll buy everything there.” She sniffled and wiped a stray tear from her cheek.
“If we’re doing reckless spending, let’s get you a Maserati.” He laughed.
“I would buy you one before I would ever get one for myself.”
“Feel free, babe,” He laughed again.
“What would you even do with it?” She joked to him, “It would tie you down. It’s a very large possession and would require… maintenance.” She wondered what she was alluding too. So many of their conversations existed on a level outside of her reach, and she assumed his.
“I could sell it before moving on, or maybe just drive it off a cliff for kicks.”
“You always take jokes too far,” She took a deep breath and released, relaxing the tension in her body, “You know what we can do? We can rent one for the day.”
“It is on, let’s go…”
…
They didn’t rent a Maserati, a bright yellow Lamborghini caught their eye, causing the two of them to collapse into laughter. The rental agent hadn’t found it funny and made it a point to let Faye know that Nick was not of legal age to drive a rental car in California. Faye raised her eyebrow, and signed on the rental agreement line, ignoring the man.
The morning was clear of traffic and they flew down the 10 Freeway, the hot wind blowing through her hair. Nick drove, pushing the limits of the car to the extreme, dangerously hugging the curves of the road. Faye found it thrilling and gripped his broad shoulders as she jostled around in her seat.
The music they played was loud, the heavy bass syncing with her heartbeats. Their musical tastes were different. Faye liked poppy love songs. Nick preferred near lyric-less club beats, usually with just one echoing word. He sang along, loudly and with a fervor Faye would never have thought him capable of.
She leaned back into her seat as they approached a straightway outside of Los Angeles and stared at him, wanting to hold onto the moment forever. There were so many sides to him. She knew there would never be enough time to know them all.
She thought the music captured the soul of him, the beast inside of him. His head bobbed up and down to the reverberation of the beat. The beauty of his youth, alive. She impulsively put her hand over his and held it there. He turned to smile at her and stared a beat too long.
An indescribable wave of emotion swept through her and she knew she was gone. It felt as if his soul had passed into hers. She tilted her head and sighed heavily.
He clicked the steering wheel and the music suddenly stopped. “You want to stop and get something to eat?”
“I want to know everything about you.” She placed her hand on her cheek and said in a breathy tone that would normally have embarrassed her, but nothing ever embarrassed her or made her feel shy, reluctant to express herself when she was with Nick.
“I told you everything, not much more to know. I grew up on the east coast, moved around a lot, went to college in Michigan.”
“Those are just events. I want it all Nick.”
“You want it all, huh? This would be an example of how you lead me on.”
“I can see how you would read it that way.”
“I don’t think anyone would read it differently.” He laughed and Faye wished he would pull over. She wanted to just stare into his eyes until the end of time. “You dig me, Faye.” He patted her knee.
“Maybe, but in a different way than you think.” She felt a heat from his hand on her knee, and thought of moving it away but didn’t do that. “I want to know you. You fascinate me.”
“I’ll tell you this, in my life I’ve never shown myself to anyone the way I do with you. I know I’m cold inside. I know people run from that. So I hide it, but I’ve never hidden with you.”
“That’s how you describe it? Cold inside?”
“Yeah, I don’t connect. It’s like I can see the shit in front of people. Everyone’s always pretending. The want something, to appear a certain way, like they’re cool or smart or whatever. It makes them easy to take advantage of.”
“Are you taking advantage of me?”
“No and believe me, it’s tempting. You’re made of money and all you want to do is get rid of it. It’s like your situation, all your lying to everyone, has made you like me. It’s like we’re in it together, no false face.”
“Our immorality is our bond? And here I was thinking we connected on a soulful level.”
“Faye,” He glanced her way, an upturned smile of his devilishly angelic face, “I don’t do soul connections.”
“Your way sounds lonely. Haven’t you ever been in love?”
“No… I mean I had a girlfriend in college, Hayley. We were on and off for the four years. I wrecked her life. I couldn’t stand to see her happy, I had to bring her down every time.”
“Now you’re lying to yourself, having a false face… It wasn’t that you hated to see her happy, it was because she was getting too close to you. You had to push her away.”
“Maybe… I don’t know.” He shrugged and turned the music back up, and they drove the rest of the way in silence.
…
They piled out of the car in front of the Ritz Carlton, collapsing onto each other. The sun was strong, draining their energy. Their bodies stiff from the two hour drive.
The air-conditioned lobby cooled them down. They stretched in unison as they walked through the lobby. Faye glanced around, taking in the layout of the hotel. It had a formalness that felt out of place for the laid back feel of the desert town.
She usually stayed at the Viceroy on quick weekends away with Adam or the girls. It had a funkier Hollywood Regency feel to it. She wished she could have taken Nick there to show him the overgrown rose paths that circled like a labyrinth to the hidden pools and spas.
She didn’t take him to The Viceroy because she worried that one of the staff would recognize her. She wasn’t a frequent visitor, but still, it wasn’t a chance she wanted to take.
Besides, this was their second secret trip to a Ritz Carlton hotel. It was their private world, she thought to herself. And of course, she quickly admonished herself for having such a thought.
“I’ve got this,” Nick laughed as they approached the front desk, “Reckless spending, here we come.”
He smiled his brightest smile, nearly blinding the older woman behind the marble counter, “Biggest suite, highest floor, all amenities… Butler service if you have it.”
“Butler service?” Faye laughed in to his shoulder, “How do you know about such things? How do you know about all the delicate touches of a wealthy life?”
“Hailey’s last name was— He named one of the oldest and richest families in America, “Her family hated me, but still I was around sometimes.”
The clerk looked Faye up and down, a frozen smile on her face, and spoke directly to her, “A two bedroom suite for you and your son?”
“She’s my sugar momma, not my mother. One bedroom’s all we need.” Nick said in a tone meant to travel across the cavernous lobby and embarrass the clerk. He was successful.
Faye pursed her lips to keep from laughing and threw her credit card on the counter.
“Will you be needing reservations for dinner, perhaps the spa?” The clerk asked through lips tighter than Faye’s.
“I don’t know if we’ll be staying for dinner, but the spa…yes.” The clerk handed Faye the spa menu. “Nick—
“We’re staying for dinner—
“We’ll be so tired afterwards from the sun and swimming. It’s a long drive back. We’ll get something on the road. We can stop at Hadley’s for banana shakes.”
He placed his hands on her cheeks and gave her a loud kiss on the lips, “It’s not the sun that’s going to make you tired, baby.” His voice was as loud as the kiss. The clerk shook her head and furiously typed into the reservations com
puter.
“I appreciate what you’re doing, but you’re getting a little carried away.” She whispered with a giggle into his ear.
“I’m sick of people giving you shit.”
She was so touched by his protectiveness that she didn’t correct his use of foul language.
“Okay, we’ll have dinner,” She turned towards the clerk who was actively trying to ignore them, “7:00, would that be all right?”
The clerk nodded but did not look up.
“We’ll have a spa day too. Okay Nick? Salt scrub, facial, massage…”
“That’s gay. I’m not doing it.”
“Please don’t use the word gay in a derogatory way—
“You’re making it derogatory. It’s not something straight dudes think about doing, Okay?”
“Well, it’s something you’ll be doing today and you’ll like it. I promise.”
“It’s your day Faye.” He squeezed her hand.
“The full spa day at 1:30 P.M?” She turned to the disinterested and slightly mortified clerk and asked.
She nodded her head in response, “Should I call for the bellman to take your bags upstairs?”
“No bags, thanks,” He dismissively replied to the clerk, “Come on, Faye, shopping time.” He grabbed the credit card and gestured towards the boutique across the lobby.
…
They spent a little over an hour in the store trying on everything, amassing a huge and expensive pile of suits and dresses. The sales assistant’s attitude was the polar opposite of the reservation woman. They were warm and welcoming, ordering Champagne and chocolate dipped strawberries for Nick and Faye.
Their outfits grew more outlandish with every trip to their respective dressing rooms. By the time they were forced to leave so as not to miss their spa appointment, Nick was dressed in bright purple and green argyle golfing clothes better suited to the 1920’s than the present day. Faye wore a trailing silk organza plum colored dress and was covered in furs and jewels.
In a rush they left all of selections, minus the fur coat, Faye had strong views on the ethics of fur, on the counter with instructions to have the items sent to their suite on the top floor. They ran out of the store together, hands brushing up against each other, all the while laughing, happy.
