Heartbreaker Breaks (A Bittersweet Lottery Love Story) (Tangled Hearts & Broken Vows: Tales of Infidelity Book 1)

by Paloma Meir

  “Faye, we need to talk. You’re going through something…”

  “Why don’t you take some time and consider what it’s like to live with someone for well over twenty years, share your life with them, have children with them, but that person lies everyday to you, lives a double life.”

  “It wasn’t like that, and you know it.” He gripped her hand tightly, and wouldn’t let go, no matter how hard she tried to shake away. She burst into tears.

  “Faye… what is going on?” He grabbed her, hugging her tightly, running his hand through her hair, “It’s going to be all right…” He said over and over again.

  “Adam… I don’t know what… I’m so confused.” She cried into his shoulder, staining the fabric with her heavy tears.

  “Sweetheart, no matter what it is, we’ll work it out. You’re everything to me, the light in my life, leading me out of the darkness. I know I haven’t been fair to you. It’s like the child me still needs to fight, push everything away.”

  Faye closed her eyes tightly, willing herself to stop crying. His words rattled her deeply. It could have been Nick saying the same thing. She straightened her postured, gently moving out of his embrace, “I understand, I’ve always understood, but I have limits. I have feelings Adam, and it hurts so much. It hurt so much, I was afraid to even talk about it.”

  “I am going to make this up to you. We have half our lives still in front of us. I’m going to make them good for you. No more women, no more reckless spending. We’ll go into couple’s therapy. We’ll work this out Faye.”

  She stiffened at his choice of words, reckless spending stung, and hit her hard with the reality of her own reckless spending, being unfaithful, all of her lies, “I need time to think, not about whether or not to leave you, but to think about I want, what we want, what direction we should head in, okay?”

  “I’ll give you the day,” He smiled to her as his eyes glossed over with held back tears, “I’m going to make you dinner tonight, steak, potatoes, all your favorites. I’m going to win you back Faye.” He stood up and smoothed the wrinkles from his suit.

  “I would like that.” She looked up to him and truthfully said.

  “I’ll try to make it back early. I have a full day with the management downtown at The Standard Hotel,” He looked down at his phone, “I’m late, Dario’s no good without me. They’ll wear him down on the price. I have to go. Call me if you need anything, or just want to talk.”

  “I will.” She sat back in the chair, suddenly exhausted.

  He gave her a kiss on the cheek as she closed her eyes. She was asleep by the time he shut the front door. A dreamless sleep, much to relief of her weary mind.

  …

  To bed she went, and to bed she stayed for three days. She told Adam she had the flu. He was kind, overly sympathetic, willing to do whatever it took to make things right with his wife again. Dinner was brought to her on a teak and sterling silver tray they had received decades before as a wedding gift but had never used.

  Adam joked about living a luxurious life of being waited on hand and foot by an army of servants, saying Faye only deserved the best. His choice of jokes only pushed Faye deeper into the well of malaise. She didn’t know what made her feel sicker, the constant thoughts of Nick and his betrayal, or the nag and lies of ridding herself of the money.

  Expressing himself had never been Adam’s strong suit, but he tried as his wife lay in a near comatose state on their bed. He vowed his everlasting love to her, promising to never stray again. Faye held her eyes tightly shut as he carried on. She knew she should tell him about Nick, but the pain in her heart was too hurtful to express.

  She tried to sleep the days away. It wasn’t possible. She watched television, mindless reality shows about people picking through what looked like garbage and finding hidden treasures. She ordered takeout, leaving strict instructions for the deliverymen to leave the food at her door. Back in the safety of her bed, she picked at it, unable to eat, and fell back to sleep.

  She woke on the fourth morning of her bed-in, disgusted with herself. She was a pragmatic woman, giving into emotional whims had never been part of her life. She marched herself into the shower and stood under the hot stream of water, scrubbing away the days of sweaty filth from lying in bed. California drought be damned, she thought to herself as a battle cry to get through the long day ahead of her.

  Dressed in a black silken frock and her golden hair pulled tightly back into a ponytail, she diligently walked down the stairs to her office. The sight of what could possibly be Nick at the corner of her eyes, sitting on the tree trunk down the road from her house shook her resolve for a moment. A shiver ran through her, and her eyes filled with tears.

  “No,” she screamed out to her empty home, and quickly closed all the blinds. To spend a moment contemplating him would spiral her back to bed, of that she was sure. Still, intrusive thoughts of him invaded her as she walked into her office.

  His smiling face filled her mind’s eye and she could almost feel his gentle kisses across her face. She closed her eyes as if reliving the moment, but quickly shook visions of him away. “No,” she chided herself again.

  She sat forcefully down at her desk, ready to do away with the money issue. Her original plan of a year was unreasonable. She wondered why she had ever thought she could carry on with the subterfuge for such a long period of time. Best not to question, action is what is needed, she thought to herself and opened The Gates Foundation Malaria webpage ready to donate the remainder of her money.

  “This is ridiculous,” she said out loud, her voice filled with frustration, “My millions will only be a drop in the bucket compared to his, no use at all.” She shut the webpage and continued her tirade, “Adam was right, act locally. Bill Gates probably doesn’t even care about the lost souls that are scattered all over my city. It’s my duty to help them. Why am I talking to myself? I’ve lost my mind.”

  She shook her head fiercely and opened the desk drawer for a pad of paper to write down a new course of action. Paper felt more real to her, she could doodle her notes and thoughts in the margins, come to a conclusive plan. She reached into the drawer and pulled out an old notebook.

  Underneath was a half empty pack of months old cigarettes. Her hand hovered over the stale pack. She grabbed it and the lighter and ran outside to the shade of her favorite tree. She trembled as she lit the cigarette, drawing the smoke into her body. The sweet relief of the nicotine traveled through her and she fell to the ground in tears. Her money problems were nothing in comparison to her heartbroken grief over Nick.

  …

  Over the next few days Faye came up with a course of action. She worked like a robot, pushing aside any emotions and focusing on how to serve her community. She wrote notes after notes of proper dispersals for long-term success of the three chosen organizations that best served people needing a hand up.

  She was reluctant to just give the money over in one lump sum. The founder of one of the organizations not far from her home wasn’t someone she trusted. The group did excellent work with the transient community but the women running it made cheap jokes at the expense of the ones seeking help. Faye laid out a plan in her notes for the money to be given on an annual basis requiring their board approval before disbursement. She made a note not to require that caveat with the other endowments.

  An uncharacteristic passive-aggressive glee filled her as she finalized the plan in the notebook. She knew the woman would never know of the easier terms her other choice of organizations received, but Faye knowing was enough. Satisfied with her charitable works, she flipped the page in her binder.

  She didn’t change much in her family plan. The girls would still only be receiving 40,000 a year, but she did change the date and amount of their lump sum to one million dollars on their thirtieth birthdays. Nick had been right about that, she thought to herself, and quickly shooed thoughts of him away.

  She had gone over budget with the house in Laguna, but only b
y three hundred thousand dollars. The furnishings budget had quadrupled, but all in all, not bad considering how out of control most people would have behaved in her position. She drew a line under her final figures and added Dario and Cassandra’s name and felt embarrassed that she hadn’t considered them in her original plan.

  She glanced up at the line for Adam’s gift and raised the figure and gave Dario an equal amount. Cassandra was difficult to consider. One just can’t hand over a mountain of money to a friend. She knew she would have to make a gift of it.

  Travel, there was nothing more in the world Cassandra loved to do more than trot around the world. Faye opened the browser to a luxurious travel agency she had read about in Conde Nast Traveler years before. She fished the black American Express card out of her handbag and purchased her a 100,000-dollar gift certificate.

  Waves of relief ran over her as she realized the money problem was solved. Her life may have have been a mess, but the greatest source of stress was gone. She picked up the phone to call Serge to make an appointment to finalize her plans and went outside to where she hid her stale cigarettes beneath the magnolia tree in an old lunchbox.

  “Laura? Hi, it’s Faye, I’m calling to make an appointment with Serge,” She said as she sat down beneath the shade of the tree and opened the box. The cigarette pack was empty. She felt a mild panic.

  “Hi Faye, what day would you like?”

  “Any day, actually no, as soon as possible would be best.” Faye mumbled into phone, her focus shifted to trying to remember if she had any other packs around her house.

  “Monday, the 7th?” Laura asked.

  “Fine, fine, fine… see you then and thank you.” Faye threw down the phone and buried her head in her hands, pulling at her ponytail. The thought of leaving the house was too much for her, and she knew she couldn’t wait 45 minutes to an hour for a delivery service to bring her a fresh pack.

  She picked up her phone and stood up, disgusted with herself for falling back into her secret habit, and dreaded going out to buy more cigarettes. The outside world seemed too big for her. She had been avoiding it for well over a week.

  The thought of bumping into Nick was too much for her. She knew he had been skulking around outside her home in the morning, waiting for her by the tree. She glanced down at the time on her phone and saw it was 3:30. A relief filled her, she was sure he wouldn’t be outside her home at that hour.

  Chapter Fourteen

  He wasn’t outside. She felt silly for having worried and her confidence increased with every step towards the store. The day was sunny and bright. She felt like a fool for having deprived herself of the nourishing sunshine.

  A laugh escaped her lips as she thought about what her world had become. Hiding from a boyish man she had allowed herself to have feelings for, covertly moving funds. It was as if her life had turned into a spy film.

  She looked forward to her move to Laguna and putting the previous few months behind her. Her thoughts drifted to Adam, and how he would react when she told him all that she had done. She wasn’t the type to think that two wrongs made a right, and she had no plans to throw Adam’s indiscretions of the heart or with their finances up to him to justify her actions. The truth, when she told it to him, would not be pretty. He would feel rightfully betrayed.

  “No point in worrying about what hasn’t come to pass,” She mumbled to herself.

  She walked into the convenience store feeling lighter than she had in days and smiled to the man behind the counter who had always been shy with her before. She hadn’t seen him since winning the lottery ticket. There wasn’t been a reason to come into the shop, she hadn’t needed to buy cigarettes and she did her general marketing at the grocery store.

  “Thank you,” he gushed as she approached the counter to buy the cigarettes, “You saved my family. They’re all here now.”

  “I think you’re confusing me with…”

  “No, you won the golden ticket," he laughed, “The lottery, they give the retailers a bonus on the big wins. 100,000 dollars, I sent for my family, from Honduras.”

  “I didn’t know that… I’m so happy for you but no thanks are needed… It was the lottery, not me.”

  “No, no… It was you. You’re an angel… Now I feed the kids like you do,” He pointed towards the front door of the store where a group of travelers were setting up for a day of busking, “They used to annoy me. I would yell for them to move away but not anymore.” He smiled to her as if she were the living embodiment of the Madonna.

  Faye shifted her position, his effusive praise was making her uncomfortable, “I was wondering where they were…” She felt embarrassed that she hadn’t noticed their absence from the storefront upon entering. “That’s wonderful that your family is here… But have you had any problems with the money, has it…”

  “Ruined our lives?” He laughed as he finished the question Faye was about to ask, “No, my wife was worried about that too. It was the perfect amount. We brought our brothers and sisters to our new country… Well, can you keep a secret?” he whispered.

  “Of course,” She replied, happy to know she had a fellow conspirator in the treacherous world of impromptu fortune.

  “I bought this,” He devilishly smiled and reached under the counter, “900.00 dollars for all of it. It’s the most I’ve ever spent at one time.” He placed a tackle bag stuffed with fishing rods and accessories on the counter. “I’ve been fishing off the Pier every morning before work.”

  “That sounds like a very nice way to start the day…” Happy as she was for him, there was a trace of disappointment in her words. He would not be her confidant in money miseries. The thought of her always thinking of the winnings as her misery, suddenly made her laugh.

  “Yeah,” he eyed her questioningly as her giggles continued, “So how about you? I haven’t seen you in so long. I thought you had moved away to a mansion in Malibu.”

  “No, still here for the time being. We will be moving to Laguna in the next few months—

  She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Nick standing behind her. He sheepishly stood slumped, running his hand through his hair. She felt as if she were going to fall to the ground from the shock of seeing him.

  “Hey, how are you doing?” He looked away, and his voice was uncharacteristically flat, “I passed out the other night in the bathroom, hit my head on the floor. I’m not feeling good.”

  “Really?” She raised her eyebrow, not believing him, “You don’t need to make a story to get my attention.” She shook away from him and turned to the counterman, “A pack of American Spirits, please.”

  “You all right?” The counterman eyes bounced between Faye and Nick quizzically.

  “I’m fine,” She reached into her bag to retrieve her wallet.

  “Your money is no good here,” He held up his hands as if in surrender, “Although I wish you didn’t smoke.”

  “I’m not making anything up and why the fuck are you smoking?” Nick asked too loudly for Faye’s liking.

  “Please don’t curse around me.” She sternly whispered to him, and looked to the counterman, the falsest smile on her face, “I’ll allow it this one time, but from now on, I’m paying. I have to be going now, but I’m very happy for you.” She nervously glanced at Nick and walked at a pace closer to a run out of the store, racing by the traveler kids who called out her name. She ignored them.

  “Faye, stop.” She felt his hand on her arm, restraining her. “I hit my head. I’m serious.”

  “What is it you want me to do about it? Take you to the hospital? You seem fine.” She stopped and turned towards him, forcing direct eye contact.

  “I don’t want you to do anything. I just wanted you to know.”

  “Maybe you fell down, maybe you didn’t, but you followed me here—

  “Faye, I didn’t follow you. My apartment is around the corner. This shop is closer to my home than yours.”

  “Are we dividing the beach?” She laughed as th
e anger rose inside of her. “You weren’t fair to me. We were friends, friends don’t—

  “Friends?” He laughed, “You got what you wanted. Girls, women… All you wanted was a fuck, and I gave you that. It’s what all of you want, but you dress it up, pretend it’s something else. What did you call it? A soul connection?”

  “Is that really what you think?” She wished with every fiber of her being that she had never met him.

  “Yeah, Faye, that’s what I think, that’s what I know. You’re no different than any of the others.”

  A bustle of tourists pushed past them as Faye stood still as if time had stopped. She stared at him, taking in his demeanor. He looked like a child in his anger, pouty and neglected. His feral spirit would never heal, the damage was too deep.

  Every part of her being trembled, and she struggled to catch her breath. “Fight or flight,” She mumbled and took off down the crowded path away from him.

  She could hear his heavy footsteps behind her and quickened her pace. “Stop,” he called out to her. She didn’t even glance backwards.

  “Listen— He jumped in front of her as she turned into the alleyway she would sometimes take as a shortcut to her home.

  “I can’t listen. What you’re saying is ugly and untrue—

  “Live my life and tell me it’s untrue. All of them—

  “None of them Nick. And saying that to me is so hurtful.” She struggled to hold back the tears.

  “You’re not any different—

  “You are so vulnerable,” She held up her hand to stop his words, and spoke through gritted teeth, “You think you’re so tough living this life you chose, but you’re so scared…” The held back tears trickled down her face.

  Faye shut her eyes tightly and shook her head, willing away her emotional response that had no place in what she was trying to say to him. A fearsome grunt rose through her body and spilled from her mouth. She wished she could travel back through time, rescue and nurture the boy he had been.

  Ragged breaths filled the space between them, surprising her. She opened her eyes, confused, thinking that her body had broken down, disconnected from her soul, making uncontrollable sounds. But it was him, not her, who heaved taking deep breaths. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to hide behind his bear-like hands.