by Corey, PK
“Oh, no…”
“What is it?” Susan asked in alarm.
“I didn’t hit send. On the text I sent Jeffery, I didn’t hit send! Neither of our husbands got the message we were staying for dinner.”
Susan’s stomach sank. “We’ve got to call…” she began as Venia hit her speed dial.
“Jeffery, I’m so…” was as far as she got before her phone went dead. “Damn!” she snapped.
Susan was scrambling for her own phone. “It’s dead too? Why would it be dead?” Susan asked in a panic.
“It’s the mountains. The phones die quicker because they’ve got to keep searching for service. Come on, I have a charger in the car.”
Quickly they threw their totes with their computers and notes in the back seat, hopped into the front and headed home.
“The charger is in the console,” she told Susan. Susan looked for it with mounting dread.
“It’s not here,” Susan told her.
“It has to be,” Venia wailed, as Susan continued to look. “No, wait. You’re right. I took it in the other day by mistake when I grabbed my headphones. This is bad! We’re not going to get home before ten.” Venia glanced over at her friend. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”
“It’s not,” Susan told her. “It was just a mix-up. It’s going to be fine. We’ll explain it to the guys.”
Venia nodded grimly.
They had been silent for a while when Susan asked. “Are you scared of what Jeffery will do?”
Venia gave her a quick look before answering. “Am I scared? No. Am I looking forward to it? No! He’s going to be upset for sure and I can’t blame him. Jeffery is a wonderful husband. He doesn’t ask much of me and I hate that I’ve given him an evening of stress and worry because of my carelessness. I don’t expect I’ll be doing much sitting tomorrow.”
Venia was silent for a moment, thinking, before she went on. “But seriously, that pain is nothing compared to the feelings I had when there was no one who cared enough to take me in hand. I’d gladly take a sore bottom any day over that constant pain.”
They rode on in silence for a time. Then Venia asked, “What do you think Hal’s going to do?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Susan admitted with a sigh. “He really is very understanding, but I’m guessing that being four hours late without letting anyone know is going to stretch even his good nature.”
The car fell quiet again as they each thought about what might lay ahead. As they neared Corbin’s Bend, Venia’s head snapped around at a passing car.
“I think that was Jeffery. Yes, he’s turning around. I’m not stopping out here on the road. He’ll follow us to your house.”
Pulling into Susan’s driveway, they saw Hal and Jason sitting on the porch, relieved looks coming over their faces. Jeffery pulled in beside them and Susan and Venia both hurried from the car to their respective husbands. Both were pulled into tight hugs and they stammered out their apologies.
“Jeffery, I’m so sorry. I texted you, I did! But I guess I forgot to hit send. I didn’t realize it until we were leaving and then the phone went dead.”
“Why didn’t you call from the hotel then?” Jeffery asked in a stern voice.
“We would have but I wanted to get started home. I thought I had my charger in the car, but I’d left it home by accident.”
“Why weren’t either of you answering your phones? We’ve been calling for hours,” Hal wanted to know.
Susan and Venia exchanged surprised looks. “We put them on silent for the writing workshop. I guess we never turned them back on,” Susan answered quietly. “We were talking with a friend and we got caught up in the conversation. We never thought about our phones. I really messed up, Hal. I’m so sorry.”
“You both should have turned your ringers back on and given us a call. But I’m afraid most of the blame is on Venia’s shoulders for being careless about sending the text and not having her charger with her. I’ll be addressing that shortly,” Jeffery told them firmly.
This was said calmly, but Susan felt a twist in her stomach nonetheless.
“Hal would you mind if we left one car here until morning? I’d like to drive Venia home,” Jeffery asked.
“That’ll be fine,” Hal assured him. “Thank you for everything tonight. You too, Jason. I’ll have my phone working by Monday or I’ll get a new one.” All the men shook hands. Jeffery offered Jason a ride home, but he declined, preferring to walk the short distance.
Coming into the house, Hal gave Susan another hug. “I’m so glad you’re home. Now begin at the beginning and tell me exactly what happened to cause me to worry years off my life.”
Susan went through the details again.
“All right, I think Venia’s not sending the text was the main problem. But what could you have done differently?” Hal asked.
“I could have tried calling you myself, but I thought your phone wasn’t working and Venia had asked Jeffery to let you know we were staying late—at least she would have if she’d hit send.”
“It’s only my text that’s not working. You could have called during the day. And if you had turned your ringer back on, you would have been able to hear our calls before your phone went dead, too. You’re not totally blameless in this.”
Susan nodded.
“It’s late,” Hal told her. “I think you need to get ready for bed.”
Susan nodded again and headed for their room while Hal locked up and turned off the lights.
As she went, Susan shook her head at her conflicted feelings. She always thought she wanted strict discipline from Hal. Yet now, facing a serious spanking, she wanted to get out of it. But do I really? Her carelessness had caused him a great deal of worry and she felt bad about that. At least a sound spanking would alleviate her guilt.
Susan was in the bathroom when Hal came to the bedroom. She hoped he wouldn’t use the old black brush. That thing really hurt. Maybe he’d just use his hand. That was always best. Susan took a deep breath, then joined Hal in the bedroom.
He was down to his boxers and gave her a quick kiss as he went in to brush his teeth. She sat on the edge of the bed in her nightgown. Hal returned, crawling into his side of the bed.
Susan looked at him, puzzled. “I thought you were going to spank me,” she told him hesitantly, as she stood up.
Hal pulled back her side of the bed. “You come help me get warm,” he told her. “I’m not going to spank you. Today was mostly Venia’s fault and I did tell you my phone wasn’t working right. I want you to be careful though. From now on, you tell me exactly where you are and when you’ll get back, understand? But you didn’t do anything really wrong today.”
Susan got into the bed and Hal pulled her close. “I’m just glad you got back safely,” he told her as he nuzzled her neck. Susan reached down and patted his thigh. But Venia’s words kept repeating themselves in her mind. ‘The pain of a spanking is nothing compared to the feelings I had when there was no one who cared enough to take me in hand. I’d gladly take a sore bottom any day over that constant pain.’
* * *
Soon after Hal left the next morning, there was a knock at Susan’s door. Venia was there with muffins.
“This is a peace offering. Oh, Susan, I’m so sorry for yesterday. I know I messed up and I’m totally the cause for you getting in trouble, too. Please forgive me,” Venia begged.
“Oh good grief, come in and quit your apologizing.” Susan led Venia into the kitchen and poured her a cup of coffee. “We both messed up a little and things just happened. None of it was intentional. I’m glad to see you survived the night.” Susan looked over at Venia. She noticed that her friend started to take a seat on one of the bar stools and then seemed to change her mind.
“Let’s take this to the living room,” Susan suggested.
Venia happily follow her and chose a well-cushioned chair. They sat in companionable silence until Susan asked, “How mad was Jeffery?”
Venia took another sip of coffee before answering. “He wasn’t so much mad as he was disappointed with me for being so careless and I can’t say he was wrong. But the hair brush left little doubt of how serious he felt about our long silence.” Venia shifted in her chair trying to find a more comfortable position. “But I’m not worried about that. How are you? I hate that I was the cause of you being spanked. I hope he wasn’t too hard on you,” Venia told her sincerely.
“Oh, no,” Susan hastily assured her. “Less than I deserved, I’d say.”
Taking another bite from her muffin, it flashed through Susan’s mind that her world had flipped upside down. In the outside world, she would have done anything to keep others from knowing when she was spanked. And here she was in Corbin’s Bend, lying to keep her friend from knowing Hal hadn’t spanked her at all. Something just wasn’t right.
Susan steered the conversation away from any consequences. “Do you think we’ll hear from Megan any time soon? I think it was good that we talked with her. I can remember feeling all alone with spanking thoughts and questions and nowhere to turn.”
“I know. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation and yes, I think she’ll be in touch. What did you think of the rest of the day?”
“I loved it,” Susan told her sincerely. And they spent another hour going over their thoughts on what they had heard regarding writing and promoting.
Finally, Venia stood, “I need to get back to the house. I didn’t mean to take up your morning. I just walked over to see how you were and get the car out of your way.”
“I’m just fine and you come visit any time you can,” Susan told her. But as Venia left, Susan felt a familiar weight overcome her. Why didn’t Hal spank me last night? From the way Venia had eased in and out of the chair so gingerly, Susan knew her spanking hadn’t been just a light paddling. Maybe the mix-up yesterday had been mostly Venia’s fault, but Susan knew she wasn’t blameless. She was mostly sticking with Hal’s rules, but he never looked for reasons to spank her, even if she had broken a rule and had legitimately earned a good paddling.
Susan sighed. These were old worries and she was sick of them. Hal did spank her fairly often when they were getting into bed and as a prelude to sex. Susan tried to analyze her feelings about that. To her it seemed that those spankings were for Hal and his needs, not for her and her needs.
It was happening again and all of Susan’s old doubts and worries were dragging her down. Maybe she should talk to someone. Quincy? Hal? Probably, but Hal had heard it all before. At the moment, it seemed easier to pull her hurt inward and keep her mouth shut.
Chapter 17
As the days grew cooler, Susan gave up her daily walks. She had enjoyed them, but not having to fix her hair and her face had its own perks. She did change from her PJs each morning, but she didn’t have to dress for outsiders. Hal didn’t seem to notice.
Occasionally he would ask, “Are you still getting out and walking every day?”
“It’s a rule, Hal. You said I had to,” she would tell him, avoiding a direct yes or no answer.
As she had feared, the old feelings that had haunted her for the past twenty years were coming back in force and pulling her into a familiar state of mild depression.
When Hal had spanked her back at the beginning of their relationship, it had been real. It didn’t have so much to do with rules back then. Most of her spankings had been for her bursts of temper and not listening to Hal. She’d had a problem managing money back then when they’d had very little. She’d had her ass torn up many times over that.
Hal had also given her some epic spankings more than once when she hadn’t told him where she was going or didn’t call when she was going to be late.
Susan found herself brooding more and more over these old memories. Those spankings hurt. She remembered that! Hal hadn’t been one to hold back when he thought she deserved a whipping. But afterwards, that feeling of security, love, the feeling that Hal had her back and would never let anything happen to her, those ‘after’ times were when she had felt the closest and most loved by Hal.
“You are being stupid!” she said aloud. She knew how much Hal loved her. She just wished she could make Hal understand what she needed.
Communication. That was the key; everyone told her. Bullshit! How many times had she told him over the years? She’d written him dozens of emails, she’d left hand written notes and often hinted broadly in direct conversations. And each time, after one or two spankings, it all slid away again, and spanking became just another form of foreplay. These thoughts played over and over in her mind daily.
I’m going stir crazy, Susan realized late one afternoon. She dressed, brushed her hair and headed out in no particular direction. The walk felt wonderful. I stopped walking to spite Hal and he doesn’t even know it, she mused to herself. I’m an idiot.
Looking up, she found herself in front of Quincy’s store and hurried past. Nosy Quincy was the last person she wanted to talk to. Unfortunately, she wasn’t fast enough.
“Susan,” she heard Quincy call, stepping out of her shop. “Come in here. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
Susan plastered on a smile and headed back.
“You haven’t been returning my calls,” Quincy began at once.
“I’m sorry. I get caught up in my work and then before you know it Hal’s home and I’ve just forgotten. Was there something you needed?”
“Yes! I’m your mentor and I need to know how you’re doing.”
Abby came in from the back room. “Hey, Susan. Good to see you,” she greeted Susan warmly.
“Abby honey, can I leave you for a while? Susan and I need to visit over a cup of coffee.”
“Of course,” Abby told her with a smile. “I believe I can hold down the fort.”
At the same time Susan was saying, “No, not today Quincy. I really don’t have the time.”
“Nonsense!” Quincy overrode her. “Upstairs.”
Susan sighed and followed her up to what had been Quincy’s home before she’d married Henry. She kept it as a peaceful meeting place for anyone who needed it. There were always snacks and a coffee pot at the ready.
Quincy waited until they both had a mug of coffee, then she sat at the table. She seemed to be waiting for Susan to speak. Finally, Susan said, “How have you been, Quincy?”
“I’m fine,” she stated. “However, it seems you’ve gone underground. I never see you out anymore. You’ve been here a while now. How are things going with you?”
“Fine with me too. I’m busy and haven’t been getting out as much, but everything’s fine,” Susan insisted.
Quincy didn’t look convinced, she looked concerned. Susan felt the urge to run. If Quincy said something kind or sweet, she would break down. She could feel the slight burning in her eyes, warning of tears.
No! she told herself fiercely. She sipped her coffee and forced a smile to her face.
Her mentor wasn’t having it. “Please tell me what’s bothering you. Maybe I can help.”
“Nothing’s wrong. Hal’s very happy. He’s…”
“I didn’t ask about Hal. I asked about you.”
It wasn’t going to work. She wasn’t going to be able to hold the tears back.
“Hal is happy. Corbin’s Bend is wonderful. It’s full of spankos, fun for all. It’s fucking awesome!” Susan concluded, bursting into tears.
Quincy said nothing. She reached for a box of tissues and placed it on the table and let Susan cry.
Finally, Susan spoke again. “I wish we’d never come here. I thought he’d stick to it with all these spanking role models. But it’s just the same, except now everyone else has what I want. It’s worse than being alone with my needs.”
“Has Hal stopped spanking you?”
“Oh no, he spanks me every time he wants sex.”
Quincy said nothing, letting the words hang in the air.
“You know the outside world would view us all as odd balls, Quincy. And now I feel li
ke the odd ball within the group. Most women here would love what I have. I only get spanked for fun or for sex. Who wouldn’t love that?” Susan snapped.
“You,” Quincy answered.
“I have to go,” Susan said, rising from the table.
“Susan, wait. We need to talk more. And you have to talk to Hal.”
“Yeah, I’ll get right on that. I’ll explain it to him for the thousandth time. I’m sure this one will take.”
Susan was down the stairs before Quincy could answer. She flew through the shop without acknowledging Abby. Finally on the street, she ran for nearly two blocks before stopping and trying to catch her breath.
Hal had beaten her home. She realized she’d left the house a mess again and wondered for an instant if Hal would be pissed. Coming into the kitchen she saw that Hal had straightened up. She could hear the washer going. In the living room, he’d picked up the papers scattered around and had them in a neat pile. It looked like he’d dusted too.
Everything he’d done was like a stab in her heart. Hal is so good. So good to her. Why do I get like this? Why do I want more from this good man?
Hal was on the stairs calling down to her. “Susan, is that you? Where have you been and why didn’t you leave a note?” He sounded annoyed and he had every right to be upset.
Susan stood waiting and wondering at the bottom of the stairs. When Hal saw her, his annoyance immediately changed to concern. “Honey, what’s wrong? You’ve been crying. What happened?”
This was her sweet Hal, kind and understanding. “I’ve just had a lousy day. I went out to walk it off. I didn’t know I’d be gone this long. I’m sorry,” Susan told him.
Hal pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. “Sorry you’ve had a rough day. What can I do to make it better? What can I do to make you happy again?”
Susan laid her head on Hal’s shoulder, thinking to herself, You can take all this seriously. You can be a true HOH. Make me stick to the rules and spank me when I don’t. Make me feel safe and cared for and loved. Let me know you’re always here to lean on and don’t let me pull away—it’s lonely and scary when I do.
