Returning to Us: Back to Corbin’s Bend
Page 12
“Of course, I forgive you. I love you and I’d forgive you anything. But forgiveness doesn’t make consequences go away. I want you to get some sleep. We’ll do our talking tomorrow,” Hal told her.
Hal wasn’t about to share the news of the meeting or his fear about what the meeting might bring. He quickly got ready for bed and slipped in beside Susan. He spooned around her, lost in his own thoughts and worries. Why did she constantly shut him out of what she was thinking? Why did she continue to tell him everything was fine when it wasn’t? What would be decided at the meeting tomorrow? If, God forbid, they decided on a public spanking, what would they do? He couldn’t allow that, nor would Susan. Would they have to leave Corbin’s Bend? He turned over restlessly. He didn’t want to leave. He’d come to love their new home and friends. But what choice did they have?
After catnapping on and off until about four, Hal got up and dressed. He sat in the living room thinking about their situation. What do I need from Susan? He sat a long time pondering the question. He needed her! He wanted her to open up to him. He wanted them to talk and laugh and know that nothing was held back, that she wasn’t afraid to let him in. That was all he wanted. Her.
But what did Susan need from him?
* * *
Hal woke Susan at eight. “How you feeling?” he asked, sitting a cup of coffee on her nightstand.
“Physically, better than I thought I would. Emotionally, I feel like crap. After all I did yesterday, you let me sleep late and bring me coffee. Hal, how do you put up with me?”
“I don’t put up with you—I love you. We have a lot to talk about today. I’ll make some breakfast while you take your shower.”
Susan tried to gather her thoughts as she showered and dressed. She honestly didn’t care what Hal did. She must have gotten all her stupid anger and resentment out last night. He was her husband and she loved him. Whether he busted her ass or never spanked her again, she was going to stay his loving wife.
Eating breakfast with Hal, Susan felt more content than she had in a while. She was planning on really following Hal’s lead without second-guessing him. She thought he’d probably spank her some, but it was up to him completely.
When they finished, Hal took a deep sigh and reached for Susan’s hand. “We’re expected at a meeting in Brent’s office at ten. It’s with him and Charles. Jason and Quincy will be there too.”
“What on earth for?” Susan asked, truly bewildered.
“Last night was more serious than you realize,” Hal told her. “Looking for you turned this whole town upside-down. Everyone was scared you were outside in the cold. They were getting ready to send Search and Rescue out on the trails to look for you when Quincy and Venia found you.”
“Oh, Hal! I never thought… I was just trying to avoid you because I was so embarrassed about blowing up at you. I never meant to cause so much trouble. I need to apologize to everyone.”
“It’s more than that.” Looking Susan in the eye, Hal went on. “You disrupted the town and nearly put the rescue teams in danger.” He paused, then when on. “Jason and Quincy think this meeting is to discuss the possibility of a public spanking.”
Susan stared at Hal in horror. She feared she would lose the breakfast she’d just eaten. Finally, in a trembling voice, Susan whispered, “No, Hal. I can’t do that. I can’t.”
“I understand. And I’d never insist that you do so. But if that’s the way they decide, and we can’t accept it, it’s going to mean moving. We can’t stay here and ignore the town’s rules. But,” Hal said, trying to brighten a little, “it’s not a done deal. They want to talk first, and I have a lot to say to them. We’ll just have to see what they decide and go from there.”
Chapter 29
At ten on the dot, Susan, Hal, Jason, and Quincy were ushered into Brent’s office. Taking a seat beside Hal, Susan realized she didn’t even remember how they’d gotten there. Had they walked or driven? Her hands were cold and felt numb. Did that mean they’d walked? She honestly couldn’t remember.
She glanced over at Charles, Violet’s husband and the president of the Discipline Board. He looked serious, but not mean or judgmental. She wished she knew him better. Brent was so alpha his look always scared her a little.
Brent began. “Let’s get right to the point. Susan, you caused a great deal of commotion last night. Usually a disagreement with your husband, normally conducted in the privacy of your own home, wouldn’t be any of our concern. But you not only brought this argument to a party, making everyone uncomfortable, you then hid from your husband causing us to enact our town emergency plan to search for you. Do you have anything to say?”
Susan felt stripped bare. What could she say? Nothing but the truth, she supposed. “Everything you said is true. I’m embarrassed by everything I did. Mostly for embarrassing Hal and for causing so much trouble to everyone. I want everyone to know how very sorry I am.”
“I appreciate that,” Brent told her. “But the facts remain the same. According to the by-laws of our town, your actions could be considered grounds for a public spanking.”
The room remained silent for several moments. “I’d like to say something if I may,” Jason spoke up. Brent nodded. The older gentlemen went on. “I was assigned as Hal’s mentor. It was my responsibility to see that they started off on the right foot. But I’m afraid I didn’t dig deeply enough to offer the help they needed. I missed the signs that Hal wasn’t really getting through to Susan.”
“Me too,” Quincy blurted out. “I think I knew deep down that Susan wasn’t being honest with Hal. She kept telling him—and me—that everything was fine when it wasn’t. I should have done more to get to the bottom of things. Maybe we let them down.”
Brent frowned. “You are two of the best mentors we have in Corbin’s Bend. But neither of you is a mind reader, you have to depend on those you’re mentoring to be completely honest with you. I don’t think that happened here.”
“Brent, may I tell you what I think?” Hal asked.
“Of course, please,” Brent told him.
Hal stood to speak. He walked behind Susan’s chair and rubbed her shoulders. “I think Jason and Quincy have been wonderful mentors. Unfortunately, we didn’t take full advantage of their experience and knowledge. But this isn’t about them, it’s about us.
“Last night was Susan’s fault,” he stated bluntly. “Overdrinking, cussing, pitching a fit, running off and worrying everyone, and not being honest with her mentor, or most importantly with me. She did each of these things willfully and I know she deserves to be punished. There is no question about that.
“But finally, I’m beginning to realize how much of the responsibility I shoulder. I didn’t sleep much last night. I’ve done a lot of thinking. Despite what Susan told me she needed over the years, despite why we came here, despite all the advice I’ve heard from Jason and all my friends here, I still didn’t step up and become the leader Susan wanted and needed.
“I’ve never wanted to punish Susan. There never seemed any need. Most of the time she’s responsible and levelheaded. These days I spank her for fun or sexy reasons. That’s all I thought was needed at this stage of our lives.” Hal sat back down and took Susan’s hand.
“What she tried over and over to tell me is that discipline makes her feel safe. It gives her the freedom to be who she really is. She needed to know that there was a safety barrier, something to push against like a guardrail. But instead of being firm and keeping her safe, I was like old rotten wood that she realized might give away at any second and leave her free-falling.”
Susan stared at Hal in wonder. He was explaining it so well. Better than she could have done.
“She’s tried over and over to tell me what she needed to feel safe and loved. What she needed to be a happy, healthy person. I was only providing dessert, when what she needed was a well-balanced meal.”
Hal stopped to look around the room. Quincy and Jason were nodding in agreement. Brent and Charles w
ere both listening intently, but their faces didn’t show anything of what they might be feeling.
“I know I must seem incredibly slow to you all, but I’m finally getting it. And I’m sorry it’s taken me so damn long. But I do think I understand now and I’m asking that you please let me handle the punishment in private.”
Susan was crying softly. Charles handed her a tissue. The room remained quiet as everyone waited for Brent to speak.
Sighing, Brent finally said, “I know you mean what you’re saying, Hal. But this did impact the whole community and regardless of your intentions, we can all agree that the idea of punishment is pretty foreign to you.”
The room remained quiet for a time. In part of her mind, Susan wanted to bolt for the door, even though she was fairly sure her legs wouldn’t allow it. She wondered if the others could hear her pounding heart.
“Brent,” Jason finally spoke up, breaking the silence, “might I offer a compromise?”
Brent nodded.
Jason went on. “Susan’s hiding last night did inconvenience the community. But she was found before the Search and Rescue teams were sent out, so our teams were never in danger. What if Quincy and I are present for Susan’s spanking? We can be there for the community, to assure the punishment is carried out and we can also be there to assure Hal doesn’t go overboard in the other direction, since this isn’t what he’s used to.”
Susan stared at him, wide-eyed.
“We don’t have to be in the room, Susan. But we will need to be able to hear what’s going on,” Jason told her.
The idea mortified her, yet the fear of being spanked in front of the whole town was a thousand times worse.
Brent seemed to be pondering. “I’d like to discuss this with Charles. Would you all wait outside, please?”
Out in the hallway everyone stood waiting, not talking. Susan was trembling, but Hal kept a steadying arm around her. So much was riding on the decision Brent and Charles were about to make.
Can I do it if I have to? A public spanking? Susan asked herself. No. No, she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. But I don’t want to leave, she cried silently to herself.
Hal felt he knew exactly what Susan was thinking and offered up a short prayer that the decision would go in their favor.
Moments later Brent called them back in. He began at once. “Susan, thank you for your apology. I feel it was sincere and on behalf of Corbin’s Bend, I accept it. Hal, I like what you said too. I know you want the best for your family and your willingness to see your mistakes and try to correct them is commendable.” Brent continued, turning to the mentors. “You two were definitely the right choice as mentors for Hal and Susan. Jason, your compromise was a good one and with you two standing in for the community, we’re going to go with what you suggested. I ask that this take place sooner rather than later. We’ll all meet back here Monday morning at ten, for a final discussion on the matter.”
“Thank you,” Susan said softly as Hal shook Brent’s hand.
Charles came to her and said, “Violet thinks the world of you. I’m glad we were able to work this out. Hopefully it’s the best decision for everyone.”
Out in the hall, Hal and Susan as well as Jason and Quincy gave a collective sigh of relief. Jason turned to Hal, “I know you two need to talk, but I think we should get this all out of the way today. It’s almost twelve. Let’s say Quincy and I will come to your house at four this afternoon. Is that good for you, Quincy?”
“Works for me,” she said crisply.
“That’ll be fine,” Hal told them soberly.
Susan had been weak with relief to learn she wouldn’t have to make the decision of accepting a public spanking or moving from their new home. It was only as they walked from the building that the reality of what was going to happen at four caught up with her with one consuming thought—Oh, shit!
Chapter 30
Susan and Hal, hand in hand, walked home in silence. Susan’s heart was still racing and the phrase, out of the frying pan, into the fire, kept repeating itself in her head.
They hung up their coats and sat together on the couch. Hal pulled Susan close as the significance of the morning hit her. Susan gave in and cried herself out, washing away the tension of the morning. Hal dug out his handkerchief to give her but neither spoke as she cried. Hal rubbed her back. As her tears gradually stopped, she sat up and gave Hal a small smile.
“Who would have thought we’d have such drama at this stage of our lives?” she asked him.
“Evidently we needed something to stir us up enough to talk. Like I told Brent, we’re both responsible for where we are. We’ve both made mistakes and we’re both going to work to correct them. This afternoon I’m going to spank you for Friday night—your behavior, your language, your hiding—everything. But that doesn’t even begin to address our underlying problems. We’re going to take care of those problems, too.”
Susan shivered slightly but nodded her head.
Hal went on. “I did spank you a lot more when we were first married. You used to make me so mad. I always waited until my temper was under control, but I was usually still mad when I spanked you.” He smiled and cupped her face with his hand. “You don’t make me mad anymore, well, very rarely. Maybe you’re too perfect for your own good. Or maybe you’re just better at hiding what you’re doing. I guess it doesn’t matter.
“Today begins a new day for us. I was up most of last night working through all this in my mind. I’m tossing out the rules we started with here. I’ve made some new ones that you’re just going to have to live with.”
“I don’t get a say at all?” Susan asked quietly.
“Nope, not on these two, they’re non-negotiable,” Hal told her flatly. Taking her hand and speaking calmly, Hal told her all he’d thought about through the long night and the decisions he’d come to.
Susan listened intently, wondering briefly if her heartrate would ever be normal again. She felt it had been pounding since early morning. Part of what he was saying made her feel joyful, while other parts she heard with dread.
As Hal finished what he had to say, he asked, “Do you have any questions?”
Susan stared at Hal. Her mind was swirling with all he’d said. “No,” she answered, then hedged, “Uh, not right this minute. I may have some later. It’s a lot to take in right now.”
“I know,” Hal answered. “You can ask anything you want at any time, but do you think you basically understand what I’m saying?”
“I do… I think I do... Yes… I agree with most of it,” she told him.
“Most of it?” Hal chuckled. “Well, all of it’s going to happen, so get your mind around it.” Hal glanced at his watch. “It’s after two. We haven’t had lunch. Do you want some?”
Susan shook her head.
“I’m not very hungry myself,” he agreed. “I want you to go lie down and rest and think about what I’ve just said. I don’t think Jason or Quincy will be late, so I’ll get you up by three-thirty. I’m going to spank you up in the upstairs family room. It’s open to the stairway, so they should be able to hear what’s happening. I want to keep our bedroom for fun activities, not for punishment.”
They both stood and hugged again. “I’m scared about this afternoon,” she whispered.
“I understand,” Hal agreed. “But don’t worry, I’m not.”
* * *
Hal came in to get Susan at three-thirty. She realized the butterflies she sometimes felt before a spanking weren’t there. They’d been replaced by two or more giant condors flapping around. What she’d always wanted—or thought she wanted—seemed to get confused and fuzzy when she was staring down the barrel of a spanking that she honestly couldn’t get out of. Hal had been in and out of the bedroom moving things to the family room upstairs, but she hadn’t looked to see what. She didn’t want to know.
At quarter to four they walked upstairs together. “I want you to undress and wait in the corner,” he told her.
Su
san nodded and began taking off her clothes. When she was nude, Hal picked up their Velcro cuffs and secured her hands in front of her. Susan looked at him a little confused.
“I don’t want you reaching back when we get started,” he explained simply.
Standing in the corner, Susan’s mind was erratic. One minute it was hitting on a hundred different things. The next minute seemed blank, while the next she could only dread what was about to happen. Interspersed through all this, was relief that it was going to happen, and they could move on from this day.
“They’re here,” Hal said quietly a short time later. He went downstairs to greet Jason and Quincy. Jason seemed his usual calm self, while Quincy seemed uncharacteristically nervous.
Quincy was nervous. There was no doubt in her mind that Susan deserved this spanking. She knew it would be beneficial. But being present for a friend’s spanking wasn’t her usual role and she felt a lot of empathy for Susan.
“We’ve had our talk. Susan knows that this spanking is for what happened Friday night at the party and afterwards. There are other things I’m going to have to address. We’ve talked about them, too. But this is for Friday.”
Without waiting for them to say anything, Hal turned and trotted upstairs. Going to Susan, he turned her from the corner and kissed her. “I love you,” he said simply. Then he led her to the sofa. He sat and pulled her across his lap. Her head and upper body rested on the ottoman. He shifted her around, getting her into the position he wanted.
He rubbed his hand once over her white cheeks before beginning his warm-up. Susan stiffened a little before trying to relax her body. She knew Hal would begin with his hand. He always had gotten her bottom warmed up this way before he began using anything else. Susan had always thought Hal’s hands were perfect for spanking. They were good honest work hands. They were rough and callused, yet he knew how to use them gently. Today, however, he was not using them gently. In just a few licks, the pain had skipped right over stinging to burning. He was so thorough Susan could only dread what was to come. She thought her cheeks could take no more when he abruptly switched to her thighs. The burn was intense. She kicked her feet up in desperate self-preservation.