RequiredSurrender

by Riley Murphy

  Her mother shook her head as if to clear it. Then she went completely still and her eyes widened. “I see now what he did. He preyed on the one thing I feared the most of losing in my life and used it against me. You.”

  Now Jo was the one shaking her head, “Me?”

  “Yes, you already hated me enough over the accident—”

  “What?”

  “That was to be expected. I was driving after all. It was natural for you to be angry at me.”

  “I never blamed you for that. It wasn’t your fault. If I hated you at all it was because you stopped asking. You didn’t protect me and then Dad got better and Anjay—”

  “I protected you as best I could. You say I stopped asking, but you stopped talking. You never talked to me. I was the one who convinced Daddy to send Anjay away to grad school. I wanted you to have some real space from him. I even convinced Uncle Vic to use his connections to get Anjay into the Doctors Without Borders program immediately after graduation. I didn’t want Daddy’s dream to rob you of yours. I always feared you’d agree to marry Anjay because Daddy wanted you to.”

  Jo blinked and everything hit her at once. “That bastard! The reason I changed my story was because Anjay said he’d tell you I knew you were having an affair. That he’d tell Dad once he could about it.”

  “Oh no. Jo.” Her mother brought a hand up. It was painful to see the way she hesitated to touch before she pulled back and dropped her arm. “I’m so sorry. A child should never have to carry the burden of sin. Especially the sin of one of their parents.”

  Jo ignored the longing burning inside her chest. The ache of want she had to be touched. To cover this she shrugged. “Anjay said he did a great job of dividing us. I guess he did.”

  “Why? Why would he do this?”

  “Family connections for money. Just before the accident Dad was getting ready to cut him off. Anjay said he was supposed to move out the end of the summer. Dad was going to make him go. But then the accident happened and Anjay figured he had a new in with us. Through me. Only I turned him down.”

  Her mother frowned. “That summer? I don’t understand. Anjay was your one and only joy. He was always there for you. You counted on him. Before the accident and then after it. Don’t you remember?”

  Of course Jo remembered. Like any abuser, Anjay had latched on to the needy child within her. The lonely soul who was abandoned by one parent because of an unfortunate accident and then abandoned by the other through the ensuing circumstances. When Jo viewed it like that, she began to see she wasn’t the only victim in the family. They all were one way or another. “I remember. That’s why a piece of me died that night after what he did to me.” But even as she said it, she realized it was a piece of the child she’d been, not the woman she was now.

  “I’m going to kill him.”

  One glance and she knew her mother meant it. “You’ll have to get in line.”

  They were quiet for a moment as each of them digested all this. Jo was the first to speak. “I have to go.”

  “But—”

  “Shit. If he cashes that check I’ll never get the money back.”

  “What check?” She didn’t touch her but she did move in front of her to stop her exit. “Jo? Don’t shut me out again. Please. What about Ted? You have to go to him. He was devastated.”

  Ted? Her mom sounded worried. As if she cared. She searched her mother’s concerned face and saw the truth. Her mother did care. She’d never deserted her. She’d always been there for her only Jo refused to see it.

  All this time. Wasted. And now? She had no time to explore this revelation. Her mother was right. She needed to find Ted. She’d be lucky if he ever spoke to her again. Surely he’d understand once she explained to him. He’d have to. But then the image of him, the cold way he’d looked at her. She’d seen that look before. It was the one she’d given Anjay the moment she saw him that Saturday night.

  You blew your shot with him.

  “Oh God, Jo. I can’t take seeing you cry. You haven’t cried since you were five years old. It will be okay.”

  Jo couldn’t stop the tears as she stared at her mother. She wanted to turn away. To run and gain some distance, but the whispered voice inside her head got louder and louder. It was Ted’s voice. His insight that kept her rooted to the spot. People with bruises. Don’t cut them out. Was this what she’d done with Ted? Maybe not cut him out, but certainly she’d never let him in.

  Her breath erratically skittered as she hiccupped, drawing it in. Was that what she’d done to her mother? Had she cut her out? The tears fell faster when she realized she had, but this was something that could be fixed, couldn’t it? Now when that tendril of hope began to unfurl inside her she didn’t brush it aside. She didn’t embrace it either. It was enough to let it live. Generous of her to give it room to grow.

  The punishment the apple took in its journey to get to you altered it in such a way as to improve it.

  She didn’t even bother to scrub the tears away. All she could do was think about the journey she’d taken to get to this moment and how those words pertained to this instant in time. Was her mother a bruised apple too? She’d been punished from all sides. With the accident, her guilt over that and then her daughter’s anger? Hell yeah, her mother qualified as one.

  Don’t cut them out.

  Ted’s words echoed over and over until her mom reached out and placed a hand on Jo’s cheek. This time there was no hesitation and when the warmth from her long-missed touch penetrated, the heaviness in Jo’s heart eased. She gained a steadying breath and closed her eyes. Thinking she wasn’t ready for this, but she was wrong. They’d been through hell and now this was the heaven.

  “It’ll be all right,” her mom said. “Dad and I will take care of things tonight,” she whispered as she gently brushed the moisture away with the pad of her thumb, “I promise.”

  Jo opened her eyes and nodded. And strangely enough, she was okay with this as all she wanted at the moment was to get out of there. To leave and go find Ted.

  “Josephine?” Her father knocked at door. “Pauline? Is everything okay?”

  Jo was grateful her mother went to him because she wasn’t going to.

  “Peter.”

  Hearing her mother’s quiet voice as she explained the truth to him made Jo cringe. She didn’t want to see the look on his face when he found out. Ducking into one of the stalls, she distracted herself by wadding up a bunch of toilet paper to sop up the mess on her face.

  “Josephine?”

  Shit. She stiffened mid-cheek swipe because her father was just outside the stall, and she didn’t need to see him to know his pain. It was in his tone. God, she hated feeling trapped. Looking down, she saw his shoes and cane and then she saw something that made her blink, just before she heard the growl.

  “You bastard!”

  Her father’s cane left the floor and his usual slow-moving feet stumbled around fast before they instantly disappeared from her view.

  “No, Peter!”

  Jo shot out of the stall and spotted them. Her father was like a madman. He beat his cane against Anjay’s back so hard it broke in two on the third strike. He didn’t pause as he threw the splintered stick aside and used his fist in its place. With tears streaming down his face, he landed one blow after another, shouting the same word over and over again.

  “Why, why, why…”

  When Anjay doubled over and leaned on the wall for support, her father finally fell back. “Leave. You no longer exist to me.”

  Anjay winced and unfolded. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Jo was…” His gaze dropped and he whispered, “She was mine.”

  Jo didn’t mean to speak. She didn’t want to prolong his overdue parting, but there was a piece of her that needed closure. “Fuck you. I never belonged to you. Never.”

  Jo’s father straightened his shoulders, and Jo imagined him gaining a good inch, maybe two, of height. “Go!”

  Anjay pushed off the w
all and stood in a teeter. “But—”

  “You are dirt.”

  Anjay didn’t like that. Jo could tell as his cheeks fused with color and his eyes blazed. Had he really thought he’d be forgiven? Was that why he hadn’t fought back when her father took the cane to him?

  “You disgust me. Leave.”

  Her father turned his back on him and clearly this was the final straw for the asshole because Anjay looked desperate as if he had nothing to lose. And when he raised an arm, Jo didn’t even think. She dove forward and caught him across the Adam’s apple with her forearm. Just as she’d been taught to do, if confronted in a forward attack position. Anjay gasped, clutching at his throat as she swept her leg behind his knees. He stumbled but didn’t fall so she used her foot, high heel perfectly angled, and stomped him right in the bend just above his calf. Once. Twice and he cried out. Now the fucker fell forward onto his knees and she quickly used her foot again to knock him back on his ass.

  “Jo!”

  She huffed and puffed, more from the adrenaline spike than anything else. “Yes?”

  Her mother sounded shocked and impressed at the same time. “Where did you learn to do that?”

  “Karate class.” Jo didn’t look up, only continued searching Anjay’s breast pocket.

  “Give me that,” Anjay rasped out as his arms flailed.

  Jo held up the check she’d snatched out of his pocket and blew her hair out of her eyes. “You want it?” She tore it up and let it rain all over him. “You got it, fuckwad. Now,” she kicked him in the thigh and stepped back, “leave like you were told to. Go see to one of your emergencies, because I do believe you’ve just lost the financial support to keep you out of hiding in the ER for the next decade. Have fun dodging your creditors. Oh, and look forward to a call from my attorney. I’d suggest you agree to the monetary compensation I’m after for my pain and suffering. Because if you don’t? I’ll talk to every newspaper and medical daily I can find to spread the word about the talented Dr. Patel.”

  “You wouldn’t.” He got up slowly and limped backward a few paces. “Everyone will know.”

  “Do you think I care about that?”

  His eyes gleamed before they shifted from her to her mother. “You may not, but others do. Think about it.”

  Jo had the feeling that he was conveying a message of some kind to her mom. Maybe he didn’t know that her mother had told her dad about the affair. It didn’t matter now, because she had.

  Once he was gone her dad finally spoke. “I’m sorry, Josephine. I had no idea. If I had known…”

  Jo saw that he was shaking and took his arm. Now that he didn’t have his cane, he was a little unsteady on feet as well. “It was a long time ago. Can we talk about this later? Is my friend still here?”

  Her dad frowned. “We need to talk about this now. I’m going to call the police.”

  Jo opened her mouth but her mom intervened. She took her dad’s other arm and leaned around him. “It’s okay, honey, go find Ted. Your dad and I will see to straightening this out with our guests first and then, maybe tomorrow we can discuss how you want to handle this.”

  Her dad seemed confused, but her mother insisted, “Go, we’ll talk about this later. You and I. Dad too. It will be fine. I promise.”

  Jo nodded and pulled open the door. She took one look through the curtains that led to the main dining hall where all her extended family laughed, chatted and danced, and promptly left the back way. While she waited for a cab to take her to Ted’s place she briefly wondered about the irony of the situation. She’d finally been given a chance to speak openly to both her parents about that night, and instead she’d chosen to push it off. She couldn’t help it. That conversation would eventually happen because she needed it to heal the child within her. The girl she was back then. However, being the woman she was right now, she needed to talk to someone else.

  Ted.

  * * * * *

  “Hi.” Jo stood at Ted’s door a half hour later. She’d already decided what she was going to say to him. How she was going to apologize. “I’m glad you’re home.”

  He barely acknowledged her before he peered over her head. “You shouldn’t have sent your cab away.”

  “Why? I know you’re upset. I—”

  “I’m not upset. Call another cab and go home, Jo.”

  “But I want to apologize and tell you what happened. Can I come in?”

  “No.”

  “But—”

  “No.”

  It was the casual way he spoke that completely unnerved her. Add to this the rapidly descending darkness and him not turning on the porch light and she was feeling not only uneasy but unwelcomed as well. Best to get it over with. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything. I couldn’t. I was embarrassed.”

  “About?”

  “My mother deserting me when I needed her most. At least I thought she had and by the time I was ready to tell her to go fu—well, you know and tell my dad everything, that’s when Anjay shared something about my mother. What my mother had done when my dad was in the hospital for months recovering from the accident. Anjay made it sound as though he was holding this over her head and it was her fear of being exposed that had made her side with him. That it wasn’t about her not believing me. Then my mom told me he had pictures. That he showed her one of them to convince her that I consented, but she never believed it. The whole trying to work through what happened with her back then was all a huge uncomfortable mess. A mess that came at a bad time.”

  “And the engagement?”

  “There isn’t one. There never was. It was my dad’s wishful thinking and Anjay taking advantage of his confusion.”

  “You said he has pictures?”

  Jo nodded.

  “That was gutsy of him.” He looked away, and for the briefest second she was hopeful, but then he turned back and his eyes were cold steel that slashed right through her. “Tell me, when you spoke to Anjay that night did you run into him or did he seek you out?”

  She’d been afraid he would focus in on that. What she hated to have to admit. She really didn’t want to because she knew he’d be furious.

  “Jo, quit shuffling your feet and tell me.”

  “He followed me into the bathroom.” His look sliced into her and she rushed on. “I wanted to tell you. I did, but every time I…I tried—”

  “He wasn’t worried about me finding out like you said. You made that up.”

  She nodded.

  “So after you were caught lying the night at the restaurant, you did it again. Only worse because it was deliberate and thought out in order to deceive me.”

  “I’m sorry.” She hoped he heard her. Her voice was quiet, a whisper, as her heart raced and her stomach churned.

  “I’m wondering…” He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you finally understand that it wasn’t what Anjay did to you that’s been eating you up inside? That being drugged and rendered unaware, although disgusting, was possibly not the worst thing that happened to you in all of this?”

  Jo searched his face. The heavy evening shadows played over his features and the lone light coming from the living room cast half of him in a dark silhouette. He was waiting. Her heart skipped a beat, because back at the restaurant she’d begun to acknowledge that it was her mom and her perceived betrayal that devastated her, but she’d put aside analyzing the possibility in lieu of concentrating on finding him. Now that she’d found him and he wanted an answer she figured she’d have to deal with it. “Yes. But h-how did you know?”

  “Your problems weren’t sexually driven. I had my suspicions about this. I’ve been waiting for you to open up to me and you didn’t. Instead you lied and went the extra mile to deceive me a second time.”

  “No, I swear I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t.”

  “But you did.”

  “I thought I-I didn’t have any choice.”

  “You had a choice. You just made the
wrong one.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He came away from the doorframe and took hold of the door. “I’m sorry too. I’m also disappointed. I gave you simple boundaries and you overstepped them twice. I’m glad that you finally have a place to start healing from, but that place isn’t with me anymore. Go home, Jo. No hard feelings though, okay?”

  Jo gasped and stepped back as the door closed right in front of her. She stared at it for a good thirty seconds before her whole world fell apart. Her purse slipped off her shoulder, and she barely acknowledged the thud it made when it hit the bricks at her feet. Through a tear-filled gaze she followed her outstretched hand to the wood and pressed her palm against it. The high-shellacked mahogany was cool to touch. Distant and uninviting. God, she wished. Prayed that the barrier would swing open and he’d be standing there, but it didn’t and he wasn’t. Instead her knees wobbled and she collapsed sideways against the wall as the rushing tears got the best of her and slid down her cheeks.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ted closed the door and took a deep breath. That was one of the hardest things he’d had to do since…well, since Selena. It was his own fault. He never should have let Jo in. He should have kept her at a distance. He should have known it from the start. The women he gravitated to always wound up hurting him.

  He came away from the door and went into the kitchen. Grabbing a beer out of the fridge, he twisted off the cap and took a swig. As he brought the bottle down and put it on the table he frowned.

  Pictures?

  The fucking slimy bastard.

  Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he pressed star two.

  “What do you need?”

  Despite how bad he felt Ted smiled. His attorney was always ready to fight. “Hi to you too, Alistair. Listen, you know that Patel guy we’re screwing to the wall?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He’s got something I want. A few things, so I’m thinking we can offer him a trade.”

  “What are the items and what do you want to swap?”