by C. C. Wood
"I've heard enough, as has everyone else in this office," Peter Connolly called, getting to his feet. "Thomas, I'd like to speak to you privately." His eyes cut to me and the affable man who had greeted me earlier was gone. In his place was a shark who smelled blood in the water. "I'd still like to speak to you after, Ms. Watkins. Would you mind?"
"I'll be in my office," I answered. I intended to pack up all my things, even if I had to use garbage bags to do it. I wasn't coming back to this building after today. I was done. And it felt good.
As everyone filed out of the room, I got a few nods and even a couple of thumbs up. It was clear that my peers liked Thomas Barnes as little as I did. I wondered how many of them had been stuck working under him as he claimed their efforts and felt they had no recourse.
Trudy waited for me by the door, her eyes huge above her pink cheeks. She was also trying to hold back laughter.
"You have to hold it in until we get to my office," I muttered to her as we left the room.
"It's hard," she whispered. "Because that was the best thing I've seen all year."
"Try."
Trudy made a muffled sound but her bright, shiny eyes were the only giveaway of her amusement. When we were back in my office with the door shut, she burst into gales of laughter.
"Oh, my God," she gasped. "I thought his head was going to explode and instead of brains, it would be vegetable mush. Like beets. Or turnips."
Okay, that was a strange analogy. Though I guess I could see why she would think he had turnips instead of brains in his head.
"I can't believe you did that," she continued. "I overheard some other people talking as they were walking out and apparently there have been several of them who wanted to call him on his behavior before but everyone was afraid that they'd end up fired and unable to get another job." Her face grew stricken. "Shit, Sierra, what are you going to do if you get fired?"
"I quit, remember?" I pointed out.
"Are you going to be okay? I mean I know you make a lot more money than me, but what if Barnes actually manages to get you blackballed?"
"I doubt anyone in Farley has ever heard of Thomas Barnes and I'm pretty sure they won't give two shits what his opinion of me is even if they have."
"Who's Farley?" Trudy asked, obviously confused.
"It's a small town about two hours from here," I answered. "I'm moving there."
Trudy gaped at me. "Moving to a small town?" She took a step closer. "Maybe you should sit down. I think maybe you had a microstroke due to rage."
I laughed. "No, it's where I've been staying while I was gone. My best friend lives there and I've been a silent partner in her business for several years now. I worked with her during my time off and I really liked it. It's interesting work. I like being around her every day and, and...I met someone."
Trudy's eyes lit up. "Someone?"
I shrugged one shoulder. "It's complicated but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him."
"Pretty sure?"
I had a human parrot in my office. "Will you please stop repeating everything I say?"
"Sorry, sorry," Trudy apologized. "I just can't remember you ever having a boyfriend since I've worked for you."
"I haven't. Not really," I admitted. "But this guy snuck past my guard."
"Um, not to repeat you again but why are you only "pretty sure" you're in love with him?" She used air quotes when she repeated my words, which made me smile.
"Because I've never been in love before so I can't be certain."
Trudy studied me and tilted her head to one side. "My mama always said that the best way to tell if it was real love is to think of every single thing they've ever done to annoy you or hurt you and if you still can't imagine your life without them, you're a goner."
I had to laugh. I'd have to give that a shot.
"So you're really quitting?" she asked. "You weren't just saying that?"
I shook my head. "I wasn't sure until we talked this morning. It's been in the back of my mind that I didn't want to leave Farley for a while now, but I realized this morning that I don't like my job anymore. I don't enjoy coming to work like I used to."
Trudy nodded.
"Do you have another job lined up?" I asked her.
She shook her head.
"I'll put some feelers out, see if I can give you a hand," I stated.
Trudy smiled at me. "That would be great."
"Until then, if you want some part-time work to tide you over, I need someone to help me organize my move."
"I can do that," she said.
We smiled at each other until the phone on my desk rang. I picked it up, "This is Sierra Watkins."
"Ms. Watkins, this is Sarah, Mr. Connolly's assistant. He'd like to see you in his office."
"I'll be there in a few moments."
I hung up. "I'm about to go apologize to Mr. Connolly. Wish me luck."
Trudy shook her head. "You won't need it. Mr. Connolly is a good man."
I normally would have agreed with her, but he looked pissed as hell when he walked out of the conference room with Barnes.
"Would you mind finding me some boxes or bags or something to put my things in? Once I leave today, I'd prefer not to come back."
"You got it, boss," she said.
I shook my head as she left my office, heading in the opposite direction of where I really wanted to be going.
I steadied myself and headed to Mr. Connolly's corner office. This was only my second time there, the first being when I was informed about my promotion.
I had to pass Barnes' office on the way and his door was shut tight and the blinds over the glass wall between the hall and his office were drawn. The lights were on, so he was probably inside. His assistant looked stressed as I passed her.
Shit, she would probably get the heat for my actions. I'd have to send her a huge bouquet of flowers or gift card or something as an apology. Maybe a case of wine.
When I approached Mr. Connolly's office, his assistant, Sarah, looked up and smiled at me. "You can go on in, he's waiting on you."
His door was open and when I appeared, Connolly waved me inside.
"Please come in and shut the door behind you."
He no longer looked iced over as he had earlier, but his expression was stern.
I did as he asked then went to stand by his desk, my hands clasped in front of me. "I would like to apologize for my behavior in the meeting earlier," I began. "It was unprofessional, and I shouldn't have blown up like I did. I'm sorry I made a scene."
Mr. Connolly studied me for a prolonged moment. "Does this mean you're retracting your announcement about resigning?"
I shook my head. "I'm afraid not."
"What if I told you that Thomas will no longer be your superior or even in your department?"
"What do you mean?"
Connolly leaned back in his chair and rested his elbows on the armrests, his fingers steepled in front of his chin. "Thomas' personality doesn't lend itself to this environment. I feel he would be better suited in a different department so he's being transferred to a less stressful position."
I stared at him, open-mouthed.
"This is not the first time we've had issues with Thomas but, unfortunately, I can't fire him because he's married to the president's cousin. Which I will vehemently deny admitting if it's repeated outside of this office."
I nodded. "I understand, sir. But my resignation still stands. I'm sorry to leave you in the lurch."
"If Barnes isn't the reason you're leaving, do you mind if I ask why?"
Technically, I didn't have to tell him, but he seemed genuinely interested rather than concerned that it would come back on the company.
"I invested in my best friend's business several years ago and she's interested in expanding. I visited her during my vacation and we spent time working together. I realized that I enjoyed it more than I've enjoyed my job here in a long time. I liked being self-employed. And I like working with my friend."
> "I hate to lose you," he said. "If it's a question of compensation..." he trailed off.
I shook my head. "It's time for a change."
Mr. Connolly got to his feet and came around his desk, holding out his hand. "It's been a pleasure to have you with the company, Ms. Watkins. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors."
I shook his hand. "Thank you, Mr. Connolly. In light of what happened at the meeting today, I feel it's best if I use the two weeks of my accumulated sick time for the remainder of my notice or that I work remotely. However, if you need recommendations or help training my replacement, please feel free to call me any time."
He nodded. "I think we'll be able to manage without requiring you to work remotely. It's my understanding that your assistant is leaving us as well. Will this adjustment in management change her mind as well?"
"I'm not sure," I answered. "You'll have to ask Trudy."
Connolly nodded. "Good-bye, Ms. Watkins."
"Good-bye, Mr. Connolly."
As I walked out of his office, I smiled to myself. My entire body was so light that I was surprised I wasn't floating down the hall.
I was moving forward, not away from something bad, but toward something better.
19
Practicality kicked in about the same time I walked through the door of my apartment.
I'd already made up my mind that I wanted to stay in Farley and work with Cam but I hadn't asked her how she felt about me going from a silent partner to working side-by-side with her full-time. Crave was her baby and I didn't want her to feel like I was being pushy or assuming too much.
God, I hoped she was okay with it because I needed some sort of job or I would go crazy. Just because I was a homebody didn't mean that I was lazy. Even if my body wasn't that active, my thoughts were constantly zooming all over the place.
I set the box of things from work on the counter. Considering I was rarely in the office and I'd purged a lot of junk when they moved me after my promotion, there wasn't a lot in it. I dropped my purse and keys next to it and kicked off my shoes. I needed to call Cam, but I had more pressing matters. Like the work clothes I was wearing.
I basically lived in leggings and tees, so the slacks and button-down shirt I currently wore felt more like a straitjacket rather than everyday apparel.
Five minutes later, wearing fuzzy socks, ultra-soft leggings, and a baggy t-shirt I stole from Ben, I picked up my cell phone and pulled up Cam's number. It was one of the few on my favorites list. The rest of the numbers were Colette's, Malcolm's, J.J.'s, and Ben's. My parents were last on the list. I'd given up trying to reach out to them. I was pretty sure they screened my calls if the timing was inconvenient.
I pulled my leg up beneath me as I plopped on the couch and chewed on my thumbnail. It was probably best to get this over or I'd drive myself nuts worrying about what Cam might say.
I hit the call button and waited. The phone rang and rang for so long I was worried I was going to have to leave her a message, which would surely be a disaster.
Just as I was about to give up, she answered, "Hey! How's the first day back in the office?"
My mind froze. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I'd dumped my problems with Ben all over her, I didn't need to add this to it.
"It is what it is." My mouth managed to say the right thing this time. "But I'm probably going to come back and work remotely for the foreseeable future, if that's okay with you. And, I probably do need to go ahead and find a place to live."
"I'd like that," she said quietly. "I didn't realize how much I missed you until you were gone again. If you're not serious about staying, you better tell me now because I might just have a meltdown if you leave again."
Tears welled up in my eyes and I sniffed hard. Shit, I was turning into a girl. "Does that mean you'd be okay with me working with you for the foreseeable future?"
"Of course I am. At a risk of sounding clichéd, I feel like we're back in college and it's so much fun to go to work in the morning." She paused. "And it's okay to cry sometimes," she said as if she could see my tears through the phone. "Especially around me. You don't have to pretend that you don't have emotions like one of your computers."
I rolled my eyes, my tears forgotten. "I don't pretend like I'm emotionless. I just don't feel all weepy at the drop of a hat."
"If you say so," she replied. Before I could open my mouth to say something snarky, she continued, "This will also give you a chance to make things right with Ben."
Fuck it. I was going to cry. At least she could only hear me blubber instead of seeing me with my puffy eyes and red nose. After everything that had happened today and all my realizations, I was overwhelmed with emotions.
Should I have talked to Cam about it? Probably, but for the first time in my life, the non-existent filter between my brain and mouth had turned into a stone wall. None of my thoughts made it past my chest.
"Don't you dare tell anyone you heard me cry," I sniffled. "I'll never speak to you again."
"Whatever," Cam scoffed. "You can't live without me."
"If you say so." I threw her words back at her, but she had a swift answer.
"I do."
My laugh was watery, but it stemmed the flow of tears and snot. What? Crying isn't pretty like in the movies. Just like sex. If you do it right, it's kinda gross.
"When will you be back?" she asked.
I closed my eyes because she sounded excited. Beneath my exterior emotionally charged state, I was excited, too.
"Probably at the end of the week. I've got some things I need to take care of, but I should be able to stay for a few weeks before I have to come back to Dallas." I would tell her about quitting my job when I got there. We could celebrate. I hoped.
"Good. Good. Take your time. Lee and I are getting along great, so we'll be able to make it until you get back."
"Have you seen—" I didn't finish the question. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
"Ben?" Cam supplied. "No, I haven't seen him, but Brody said he's been grumpier than usual the past couple of days."
I swallowed hard. Despite his bad boy appearance, Ben Murphy was one of the most laid-back men I knew. I chalked it up to all the endorphins he released with those brutal early morning workouts.
"How are things with Brody?" I asked. "Y'all still jumping each other's bones every chance you get?"
Cam sighed. "Brody and I are getting along well. But I can't say the same about he and his ex."
"Whoa, they're fighting?" I asked. I knew they didn't have the best relationship, but Cam said they remained civil even if the air between them was so cold that icicles formed.
"Yeah. It's not good."
Crap. This was the worst time for me to leave Cam in the lurch. Maybe I could go back early.
"I know what the town gossips say," Cam stated, changing the subject. "But Ben isn't the type to go from woman to woman. Just tell him what your plan is and see what he says."
"Think a text would work?" I asked, only half-joking.
"Sierra."
"Cam."
"Call him," she ordered.
I took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. Besides, she'd already heard me cry today. What was left to do but bare my goddamn soul? "I don't think I can. What if he tells me that I'm not worth the effort? That I fucked up too badly?"
"Then, he's a fucking idiot," she answered. "But, that being said, I've known him for most of my life and I'm pretty sure he won't say that."
"I'll remind you of this moment if you're wrong. And you'll dry my tears with a silk hanky and soothe my broken heart with floats made with alcoholic root beer and ice cream. Homemade ice cream."
Cam laughed. "I've already told you that's the only kind I keep in my house."
"Do you really think it'll be okay?"
"No matter what happens between you and Ben, you will be okay. I promise."
I scoffed. "Way to give me a pep talk there."
"I'll always tell you
the truth. That's what friends do," Cam replied. "You know that what he says or does is out of your control. His decision is out of your control. But you can pick up the pieces if it all falls apart and you can decide how to put them back together."
She was right. I knew she was right. But the idea that Ben might not be in my life anymore terrified the absolute shit out of me.
I really was in love.
"I gotta get back to cleaning the shop baseboards, but keep me in the loop on what's happening with the move. And with Ben. I'm here any time you need me, even if I have to close the shop for a day or two."
Whoa. Cam never closed the shop on days it should be open. Never. She was definitely serious, but I didn't want her to do that.
"I'll be okay, no matter what happens," I said, repeating her words.
"I know," she said. "Call Ben."
I sighed. "I will. You know I love your bossy ass, right?"
Cam made a choking sound. "Oh, God. You cried and you said you love me. The apocalypse is nigh."
"Hardy-har-har."
"I love your stubborn ass, too. Talk to you later."
We disconnected and I stared at my phone, smiling. Before I could figure out what to do next, it buzzed. It was a text from Cam.
CALL. BEN.
I shook my head and laughed quietly. My heart beat faster at the thought of calling him, but she was right. I had to do it. It was the right thing to do. The mature thing to do.
But, God, it was scary.
Courage is action in the face of fear and I knew Cam was right. My biggest fears were abandonment and rejection. By calling Ben, by asking him if he would see me face-to-face when I got back to town, I was definitely acting in the face of what scared me the most.
I couldn't let that stop me because Ben deserved my courage. He deserved the best of me, even if it had never been enough for anyone else in my life. Well, except for Cam.
With my heart hammering in my chest, I texted Cam.
I'll do it now.
Her reply was swift. Good.
My fingers shook as I scrolled through my phone to my favorites list in my contacts. I nearly missed his name with my thumb, but, by some miracle or curse, the phone started ringing.
