“I’m not like you or Angel,” I said, wishing fervently that I was. Wishing that I could throw myself into a relationship that had no hopes of lasting. God, I hadn’t even had a one night stand! Maybe she was right and I was a prude, I thought glumly. But this was who I was, I couldn’t change that. “I can’t just do things like that just because the opportunity arises. I’m not built that way.”
“Penny, every experience becomes precious soon enough out here. Like they say in the Shawshank Redemption, ‘you can get busy living, or you can damn well get busy dying’. We both chose living. That means we fill the moments we have with stuff that not only blots out the stuff we don’t want to remember, but gives us happy and wonderful thoughts to keep us warm at night.”
I knew she meant well, but I couldn’t listen to it any longer.
“I’ll see you later,” I said and picked up my tray. I kept my head down as I walked to the cleaning station, not wanting to let my wandering eyes the freedom to skim over the captain’s face once more.
It was bad enough that Angel and Amy teased me, if the rest of the camp knew I’d never hear the end of it.
I scraped off my plate and felt an unusual burning sensation creep up the back of my neck; a pleasant tingle that made my heart racing, as if someone were watching me. Oh God, I had to get out of there.
I turned towards the exit and crashed right into none other than Captain Haven. My soft body bounced against his hard chest and my hands went up to protect myself. They lay gently upon his uniform and his arms instinctively wrapped themselves around me, I presumed so I wouldn’t fall. He was starting to develop a habit of catching me before a tumble, I thought.
The wind had literally been knocked out of me, and being in his strong arms again, so safe and warm, I lost all reason. I was so stunned that I didn’t know what to say. Under the tips of my fingers that lay trapped upon his chest I could feel the imperfections of his rough uniform, but God, beneath that he was solid muscle and I had no doubt in my mind his body was anything but imperfect!
Time slowed as I took in his intoxicating manly scent. I lifted my chin to look up at the man that held me and fell into a pool of crystal clear waters that were his blue eyes. I was pretty sure I’d stopped breathing and he could hear the pounding off my aching heart as it beat furiously against his chest.
“Excuse me?” a female voice chirped behind us, no doubt wanting to clean off her plate.
The magic that encased us in our own little world shattered and I quickly detached myself from Captain Haven’s arms and away from the counter of dirty plates.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going and—” I said rambling, letting my mouth go a mile a minute.
“No harm done,” the captain replied with a soft chuckle that made my knees threaten to give out.
I knew at that point my cheeks had turned an ugly shade of red from embarrassment. Had everyone seen? Shit, I would be the laughing stock of the whole camp by the morning. I sputtered another hasty apology and dashed around him and out of the cafeteria before he could say another word.
My world was spinning as I thought about what had happened. His hands that had gently cupped my elbow, keeping me upright, and how my heart had gone into overdrive at his mere touch upon my skin, not to mention the throbbing between my legs. My knickers were soaked. I shook my head as I sat upon my bunk, but then got back up almost instantly, needing to move to expel the restless energy that had built up since bumping into Robert.
Amy’s words from earlier replayed in my head, and they played on my mind into the waning hours late into the evening and no doubt it would still be there come morning, I thought, as I paced around my tiny room. Damn she was right of course. I had learned pretty quickly that she and Angel always were. But I had no clue how to go about approaching him, especially not after I’d made an utter fool of myself in front of him and the rest of the staff in the canteen.
Leaving the claustrophobic confines of my room—trapped in there with only me and my thoughts—I stepped outside. Some air would do me some good. I got myself set up in peaceful nook out of the way, ready to lose myself in a book, when a whole bunch of rowdy men started to set up an energetic game of volleyball in my direct line of sight. I was just about to get up and find a quieter location to read when I spotted him.
Captain Robert Haven.
A heavenly sight to behold.
I bit my lip and quickly ducked behind my too small paperback, my eyes peering over the now forgotten pages of a story that I hadn’t really been taking in anyway, as I secretly watched as he and some of the guys played as the sun began to set.
Top Gun eat your heart out.
Transfixed, I lowered the book, then eventually put it down into my lap, discarded, and watched the interplay of the huge, orange sun against the dusky figures. I truly believed that no matter how long I spent in Africa, I would never find the majestic movements of the sun here anything less than overwhelming. But tonight, I could barely see it. I was mesmerised by the way Captain Haven’s muscles engaged as he ran, and how he effortlessly punched the ball over the net in a vicious spike that the opposing team had no chance of getting back.
An hour at least must have passed while I continued to watch him but it seemed more like mere minutes. The game was over in a flash. With the men exhausted, they all began to head back towards the accommodation area, sweaty and glistening from their evening workout.
Suddenly he was there right in front of me, advancing towards me, as if I’d fished him up from the sand and was reeling him in. My mouth went dry as he continued to approach. Cowardly thoughts of making a run for it crossed my mind, but I was glued to my seat, frozen and unable to move.
“Hey, if it isn’t my favourite but reluctant patient,” he said cheerfully. “I haven’t seen you for weeks, then twice in one day. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were following me.”
I tried to laugh off the comment, but it was just too close to the truth. My eyes darted around as I didn’t quite know where to look. He hadn’t put his khaki t-shirt back on, had simply slung it over his shoulder, and his well-defined pecs were right in my eye line as he towered over me; my head tilted slightly up. He was dripping with sweat, and his hair was all tousled. I gulped, tried to compose myself and hoped the elongated shadows of his frame would hide the reddening of my face.
“How do you figure? I’ve been sat here for hours… you approached me. Maybe you’re the one following me, Captain,” I managed to reply, grateful that my nerves hadn’t come across in my voice.
“Mmhmm,” he murmured with a broad panty melting smile. “You have a point there.”
God, he looked good enough to eat, or lick. My heart started hammering again, and I felt on the verge of a panic attack. My book slipped from my sweaty palm and without asking he instantly crouched down to retrieve it. He stayed like that, half crouched, half on his knees, barely a foot away from me. Right by my side.
Oh, God. I’m going to pass out.
“Or maybe you’ve been avoiding me and this is fate’s way of telling you to stop.”
“Captain… Not at all,” I managed to stammer. “You’ve been in surgery, Angel told me you’ve been amazing, and I’ve been busy too, I guess.”
“Please call me Robert,” he said as turned my book over in his hands. “I try to do my best. You deal with the truly hard stuff; your patients talk and have needs.” He chuckled. It was a common enough belief that many doctors became surgeons so they no longer had to talk to their patients. And if you had a lousy bedside manner, it could make a career much more successful. But I doubted that Robert had a problem talking to anyone.
Trying desperately not to look at his half naked body I forced my brain to stick to the subject at hand. “I’m too soft, the responsibility of keeping someone alive whilst I cut into them never really appealed to me.”
Almost as if he were doing it absentmindedly he began to rub his thumb across the pages of the novel. I star
ed at his hands. The only safe spot to look. Yet couldn’t stop wishing that he were doing that to me and not the cover.
“Nobody who can do what you do, day in and day out here, could ever be called soft, Penny,” he said quietly. I lifted my eyes back up to him, we paused like that for a second longer than was appropriate.
I thought I heard a touch of admiration in his voice. It made me feel oddly proud, and surprisingly the panic that had been rising before had completely vanished. Yes, my heart was still thudding, but in a few short minutes he’d managed to put me completely at ease.
“Anyway, how the foot?”
“Oh, all better,” I said and instinctively flexed it to show him. I didn’t expect what came next.
His hand gently caught my ankle and I felt his warmth radiate through the bottom of my trousers. “May I?” he asked.
Breathless, I could only nod.
For the next few seconds he rotated my ankle one way then the other, testing the ligaments and my flexibility. There was positively nothing wrong with my foot, but that didn’t prompt me to tell him to stop. Meanwhile I was enjoying his touch and proximity, even though the contact was through layers of cloth. I closed my eyes, drifting into a day dream. What would it feel like to have his fingers caress my calf, and move ever skyward? My pussy pulsed, enjoying my train of thought.
I hid a smile as I thanked my past self for not skipping out on shaving my legs in the shower the previous night.
“Perfect,” he whispered and lowered my food back down. “I’m glad it was only a minor injury.”
“You and me both,” I replied. “You can let go now.” His hands were still resting on me.
Abruptly, he stood back up and took a step away, taking possession of my book again. “Of course, my apologies.”
Towering over me I waited for him to say something more. He had a far away stare, fixed on one point. I swallowed and took in a sharp breath when I realised the location of his gaze; my chest.
“Was there anything else, Captain?”
Almost imperceptibly he shook himself, had I caught him day dreaming?
He blinked a couple of times and managed to lift his focus to my eyes.
“We’re having a few drinks for Claire’s birthday tonight. You’re welcome to join us.”
My mouth parted in preparation to give an answer, but my tongue had other ideas and I couldn’t respond. I looked into his deep blue eyes, and for a moment thought I saw an echo of my own desire, but his friendly smile was back in an instant.
“What I mean is, everyone is invited. Amy and Angel are already coming.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
“Of course.”
“It’s been a long day,” I said feeling like I needed to add an excuse.
“I understand,” Robert replied. I could’ve sworn there was a dash of disappointment in his voice. His shoulders sagged a fraction. “Well, I better—” he said as his voice trailed off. He turned to leave and I hopped up from my chair.
“Wait,” I said as I dashed to him, and foolishly knocked into him again as he turned swiftly back around.
“Are you okay? This is becoming quite the habit,” he asked with a smile, as I ricocheted breathlessly off him. We both laughed and a questioning brow quirked upwards on his forehead.
“Yes? Was there something?” he asked. His chest was rising and falling rapidly too and there was definitely hope in his voice. Maybe I hadn’t imagined it.
But I didn’t have the courage to say anything other than, “My book?”
He shot me a puzzled look. I pointed to the worn paperback he still clutched in his hand.
“Oh! Sorry, here you go.” He handed it over and for the briefest of moments the tip of his thumb dragged deliciously across the back of my hand. “Can’t let you think I’m a thief, now can I?”
Thief of my heart, I thought, and was unable to say anything in reply. I just stood there dumbstruck.
He gave me a warm nod. “I’ll hopefully see you later, then.”
Once he was gone, I managed to make my limbs function again and rushed to the shower block. It wasn’t a date, but he had invited me. Even if everyone else was also invited too, I still wanted to look my best. And after a long day of clearing up every kind of bodily fluid imaginable, I probably stank to high heaven.
Angel smirked at me knowingly when I returned to our bunk. “You look lovely, sugar. He won’t be able to take his eyes off you.”
I prayed she was right. But didn’t know if I would ever be able to muster up the courage and determination to take the next required step. It just wasn’t in my nature. Yet the way he’d looked at me, and the spark that had shot up my arm and went straight to my heart when he touched me, had made me want to risk it.
The party was in full swing by the time we arrived; beer and wine were flowing freely and the strains of indistinct vocals were crooning out of an ancient boom box in the corner of the hut.
“There’s the birthday girl! Happy birthday!” I said to Claire as I gave her a hug. As Robert had said, she was definitely forthright, but I really liked her a lot. She told it how she saw it, and that was refreshing.
“Thanks! But you’re late. You have some catching up to do. Grab some wine and try to keep up,” she said with a wink. Angel guffawed beside me.
“Honey, you don’t know what drinkin’ is!”
“Is that a challenge?” Claire asked with a wicked grin on her face. I looked at Angel, and back at the feisty sergeant. I wondered if Angel had met her match, but I knew that both women would fight to the death, so to speak, to take the crown… it was going to be an interesting night that was for sure.
“Why not?” Angel said, “You only live once!”
Suddenly there was a crowd all around us as the two women sat down opposite one another; two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila were produced from somewhere. I shook my head in disbelief and edged away from the table. Amongst the catcalls and shouts of support for both women, I heard the call of an opening bet, then another, upping the ante. I was pleased to hear so many of the camp staff backing Angel, hoping she’d best the sergeant. Claire would no doubt be a formidable opponent, but from my experience nothing ever felled Angel.
“You’re not into drinking contests then?” Robert’s rich and buttery voice rippled over me like I was a warm toasty muffin. I had to swallow the slight tremble that came over me, but really it was no use; my skin was ablaze as soon as he opened his mouth. I could practically bathe in the syrupy goodness that was his accent. I would have him recite even the most mundane of things and wouldn’t be able to stop the shivers he produced.
I glanced at Robert for a shy second then back over to the crowd around the two battling women. We were stood side by side, our arms almost touching, in a relatively quiet corner.
“There is part of me as a doctor that disapproves a tiny bit, but I have seen Angel win too many times to doubt the outcome. I don’t really need to see poor Claire get humiliated on her birthday.”
“Claire won’t go down without a fight. I’ve seen that woman out-drink every man I know! Including yours truly. Don’t know where she puts it,” he said, a twinkle in his hypnotic eyes. This close, I could see that they weren’t completely blue after all, they had flecks of dazzling shades of grey, and a light scattering of green. A shade that reminded me of the beginnings of spring back home. I wanted to stare into them and lose myself completely, and I had trouble looking away once I started.
“Thank you for inviting us,” I stammered, trying to get my mind back under control. It was proving to be harder than I could ever have expected, with this truly sexy man’s gaze solely upon me. “Everyone seems to be having fun.”
“My pleasure, but I only invited them so that you would come,” he said and took a step closer.
I dipped my head away from his scrutiny, as if that was going to protect me from his loaded words.
“Penny?” he whispered and I found the strength to raise my hea
d, witnessing him lick his lips. “You are so very intriguing.”
Robert reached out to touch my cheek and I had to blink to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. It was a soft, fleeting caress, but my skin came alive, tingling with fire.
“I can’t stop thinking about you… and I’ve been wondering all day what it would be like to kiss you.”
I stared at him, stunned. Had he really just said that? He seemed almost wistful, as if we were all alone and that we had all the time in the world. I couldn’t help it, I gravitated towards him; his words too enticing to ignore. I too longed to find out what it would be like to kiss him. What it would be like to be kissed by him.
“You’re on mind every second of every day, Penny. Since the very first day we met, you’ve been lodged in there and I haven’t been able to get you out,” he whispered. “Not that I want you out… of course.”
“I’ve been thinking about you too,” I breathed, wondering if I said it quietly enough that I wouldn’t break the moment.
His hand moved to cradle my head, and he bent his lips to mine.
The entire world went hazy, blurring at the edges. We were surrounded by smudges of colours, vague shapes that moved and swayed. My knees felt as if they would give way. But with his other hand, he grasped me tightly around the waist, pulling me in closer as his tongue plundered my mouth.
I’d never been convinced that you could swoon in the arms of a man, like all those actresses who’d portrayed as much in old black and white movies; all overcome by a barrage of sensations and emotions. It was all an act, I thought… But now I knew for sure that they hadn’t been just acting and it was actually possible. My heart rate skyrocketed and I felt like I was about to blackout from the effect he was having upon me. I’d need a defibrillator when he was done.
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