Heartbeat

by Ellis, Tara

  When I looked out the peephole I saw it was one of my neighbors, Denise. I opened the door for her, ready for the latest neighborhood gossip. I’d befriended Denise a few months ago. I wasn’t a very social person and didn’t go out of my way to make friends, but for some reason, I was drawn to Denise. She was very different from Charlie and Kesha and I found it easier to talk to her without the judgement and shit.

  “Hey, Denise.”

  “Hey, girl.” She walked inside my apartment and directly to Destiny. “Lemme see that beautiful baby girl.” She picked Destiny up and cooed as she rocked her back and forth. “She gets more and more beautiful every day, Lake.”

  “Thank you.”

  Denise looked up at me. “What’s wrong?”

  It was really weird how Denise always seemed to know something was wrong without me ever saying anything. I sighed, “Girl, what isn’t wrong?”

  Even though I didn’t know Denise that well it was very easy to talk to her. On many occasions, I found myself telling her more of my business than I’d like to. But she never told me how stupid I was like Charlie and Kesha did, like they were perfect or some shit.

  “Hard adjusting to being a new mother?”

  I shook my head as I watched her rock my daughter. “No, hard adjusting to being a single mother.”

  Denise’s mouth dropped. “You and Greg broke it off?”

  I got up to get one of Destiny’s blankets. I handed it to Denise who wrapped her up in it. “Might as well say that. He’s been gone for two weeks and ain’t been by or even bothered to call or nothin’.”

  Denise gasped then sucked her teeth. “He ought to be ashamed of himself.”

  I went on to tell her how much I wanted to leave Greg’s no good ass alone but there was just something holding me back. I could never tell Kesha and definitely not Charlie these things. Denise just nodded her head and told me how much she understood. She even told me about one of her no good boyfriends and how he used to dog her out, too. It felt good to be able to vent and then hear someone say they been through the same thing.

  “But girl, you gotta leave that dog ass nigga alone. He ain’t ever gonna do right by you if he done went M.I.A just two weeks after his baby girl was born.”

  I nodded my head because I knew what she was saying was true.

  “I don’t know how I’ma tell my mama that there ain’t gonna be no wedding.”

  Denise laughed and waved her hand as if to wave off my concern about my mama. “Girl, she’ll be alright. She ain’t the one who gotta live with his dog ass. Don’t let your mama bully you into marrying a nigga who ain’t shit.”

  That was easy for Denise to say. Although, I wasn’t fool enough not to her the reason in her voice.

  I sat and talked to Denise for fifteen more minutes but once she left I was still stuck with the same problems.

  I attempted to call Greg again and my call was sent directly to voicemail so I knew that son of a bitch had blocked my number. Yep, I knew as sure as my name was Lake that he was laid up with some bitch. It wasn’t like it shocked me that Greg was sleeping with other women. I knew that much. But it was the fact that he was disowning his only child for some new piece of ass.

  I screamed at the top of my lungs in hurt, frustration, and remorse. I should have left his ass long before I ended up pregnant by him. The thought of Destiny growing up without her dad and ending up with daddy issues because of it, made me sick to my stomach. I told myself I’d limit the amount of pills I was going to take since I was breastfeeding but I felt the urge and need for a Xanax now more than ever. One Xanax couldn’t hurt, right?

  I ended up taking two and made a mental note to run to the store and buy Destiny some formula for the rest of the month. I sipped a glass of wine and waited for the pill to work its magic. I didn’t feel like moving but once I heard Destiny crying in the next room, I forced myself off the living room couch and went to tend to my daughter.

  Charlie

  Rick took his coffee cup off the granite kitchen island and took one sip before replacing the cup. He totally ignored the three cheese egg-white omelet, bacon, and toast I’d put on a plate in front of him.

  “You’re not eating?”

  He looked up from his cell phone and glanced at me before looking back at his phone. “Nah, I’m sorry babe, I gotta get to the hospital.”

  Even though I didn’t want to, I felt some kind of way. I’d gotten up earlier than usual because I wanted to make him breakfast and he didn’t even look at the food. He was spending so much time at the hospital lately that I found myself trying to find time with him in any way possible. My schedule was crazy, but his was down-right maniacal.

  “What about dinner tonight?” I hated the way my voice was laced in desperation. I felt like I was begging to spend time with my own damn husband.

  He glanced up from his cell phone again. But this time it must have been something in my eyes that made him soften his facial expression. He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He looked down at me and kissed me on my lips. “I don’t wanna make a promise that I’ll be home in time for dinner, Charlie, but I will do my best.”

  I frowned. “Please do your best. We haven’t eaten dinner together since…” I couldn’t even think of the last time I’d had dinner with my husband. I knew he was ambitious and very successful, but he’d better start fitting me in his ever growing, busy, schedule.

  “I’ll do my best, “he repeated. He kissed me again before he stuck his cell phone in his back pocket, grabbed his car keys and walked out of the door.

  I looked at the plate full of food still sitting on the kitchen table and threw my hands up in defeat. “What a waste.” I grabbed the plate and emptied it into the garbage.

  I got dressed for work and headed out to the salon. I was always the first at the salon to open and always the last one out the door to close. My salon was like my first born child and I treated it as such. It was already the #1 salon in the Dallas area and we’d only been in business a year and a half. I had the baddest hair stylists, colorist, make-up artists, and nail technicians.

  I pulled up in front of the salon, met my assistant, Kelly, in the parking lot. She was the best assistant I ever had. She was always on time and extremely professional. As I unlocked the door and disarmed the security system, she was reading off my list of clients for the day.

  “Kesha? Kesha has an appointment at nine?” I rolled my eyes. Kesha stayed in my appointment book. I never charged her though. But as much as she stayed in my chair, I was about to start having to.

  “Yes, she is,” Kelly said. “Would you like me to bring some peppermint tea to your office?”

  I nodded. I walked into my office, started up my computer, and looked over yesterday’s numbers. The salon was doing well, very well.

  It wasn’t long before the salon came to life. Stylists and clients piled into the salon and I made my rounds to each stylist before my first appointment came in. Kesha walked in my private studio and looked me up and down.

  “You look cute. Are those new? She pointed to my leopard Giuseppe heels. “How you gonna stand up and do hair in them all day?”

  “Bitch, you know I do this,” I said. I wrapped a cape around her. “What we doing to your hair?”

  She shrugged. “Whatever.”

  Kesha had gorgeous high cheekbones that made her look good in any hairstyle. Today, I was going to trim and deep condition her naturally long, jet black hair. Kesha was naturally pretty, but her face was always made up to perfection. She was a fool with a makeup brush. I tried convincing her to come work at my salon part time as a makeup artist, but she wasn’t having it. She was a pharmacist at a local drug store, so she didn’t need or want a part time job.

  Kesha had long legs like those models you see walking down catwalks, and she could dress her ass off. We instantly clicked freshman year in college and became the best of friends.

  “Have you heard from Darnel?”

  She shook h
er head and curled her lips in disgust. “No, and I hope wherever he is, he keeps his black ass there, too.”

  “I went to see Lake the other day. Girl, that baby must be wearing her ass out cause she looked like she hasn’t slept in weeks! She getting bags under her eyes and shit,” I said.

  “Did Greg have his triflin’ ass there?”

  I sighed. I hated talking about Lake behind her back, but damn, my friend was stupid behind Greg’s no good ass. “Girl, naw.”

  “I went by there twice last week and he wasn’t there naan time.” Kesha sucked her teeth in disgust. “She tried to play it off like he was at work or some shit.”

  “Damn, Lake fucked up getting pregnant by him.”

  “Yeah, cause she ain’t gonna ever leave his ass now.” She paused. “But how are you and Rick doing? With the baby making and stuff?”

  She had a smile in her voice but I didn’t, when I said, “I just don’t know, Kesha.”

  She turned around in the chair and looked at me. “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t know...he seems so distant lately. We barely see each other cause he spending so much time at that got-damn hospital.”

  Kesha was silent when I expected her to have something to say. She opened her mouth and then closed it almost as quick as she opened it, as if she was having second thoughts about speaking her mind.

  “What?” I wanted to know.

  “Ok, don’t be mad,” she said. “But I heard from Tamika that stay in Pleasant Grove, that she seen Rick with some thot out there.”

  I gasped and damn near choked. I got up and led her to the shampoo bowl as I ran what she just said over and over in my head. “That’s some bullshit,” I finally said. “You and I both know Rick ain’t never gonna be in no Pleasant Grove, for one.”

  She laughed, “I know, that’s why I never even brought it up.”

  I began washing her hair. “When she tell you this?”

  “Like a month ago.”

  I stopped washing her hair and looked at her like she was crazy. “Why you just now telling me this?”

  “Cause like you just said, me and you both know Rick would never take his bourgeois ass to Pleasant Grove.”

  “But still, you ain’t think I wanna know if some hoes out there putting rumors in the street about me and my husband?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Bitch please. Hoes gon’ have some to say, regardless.”

  I nodded my head agreeing with her. But still, it didn’t sit right with me. “What you say when she told you that?”

  “I told her she was a got-damn lie and she ain’t seen no Rick Johnson in Pleasant Grove, let alone with another bitch.”

  I somewhat felt better but there was doubt turning over inside my stomach. I knew Rick like I knew the back of my own hand, but I couldn’t put it past him to cheat on me. He’d done it more than once when we were in college, but that was so long ago. Telling myself that I knew my man didn’t erase the sick feeling I had growing in the pit of my stomach so I changed the subject. “Did you ever call that cop that was checking for you when you had that black ass eye?”

  “You got jokes, huh?”

  “He was cute, girl,” I laughed.

  If her eyes weren’t closed, I was sure she would have been rolling them. “No, he was not.”

  “Yes, he was,” I said.

  “Well, I wasn’t looking at him. I was worried about that crazy ass nigga, Darnel.”

  “And he was worried about you,” I said.

  “Just wash my hair, bitch,” she said with a smile.

  ❤❤❤❤❤

  I pulled into my driveway expecting to see Rick’s BMW but wasn’t surprised when I didn’t see the car. I sighed and headed inside of the house. I’d called him two times with no answer and he didn’t bother to respond to any of my texts. This was so unlike the man I’d married. I couldn’t help but think back to what Kesha said earlier today. At first, I wasn’t going to pay it any mind but I couldn’t shake the feelings of doubt.

  I opened the refrigerator and slammed it closed. I hopped back in my car. I was going to make a trip to Rick’s office. Since he couldn’t make it home in time for dinner, I was going to bring dinner to him.

  When I turned onto the street where Rick’s office was located, I was surprised to see him pulling out of the parking garage.

  “What the fuck?” I said under my breath. I waited until he pulled onto the main street. I let another car get behind him and then I got behind that car. I held my cell phone in my hand expecting him to return my missed calls at any minute now. I followed him as he hopped on a freeway that didn’t lead to our home. My palms grew sweaty and my heartbeat quickened, wondering just where my husband was on his way to. Anxiety and anger stabbed my heart as the possibilities ran through my head.

  We rode on the freeway for thirty seven minutes before he took an exit. We were in Pleasant Grove. When the realization of that hit me, I felt like I would vomit. I was driving erratically now, not giving a damn if he noticed me following him or not. He turned a right into a ran-down apartment complex. My right leg was shaking so bad, I could barely press on the gas pedal.

  I parked four parking spaces across from where he parked and turned off my lights. I wanted to jump out of the car and follow him but something in my gut told me this night was just getting started.

  Charlie

  I never understood how some women could go off the deep end on some of those true crime television shows. I never understood how a woman could snap and do something that could alter her future forever. That was, until I spotted my husband leaving the home of another woman. In that very moment, nothing that ever mattered, mattered anymore. All I could see was red. I jumped out of my car and ran across the street as fast as I could, which was actually quite fast considering I was wearing five inch cheetah printed Giuseppe heels.

  As soon as I was upon them, they both looked like the world was coming to an end. The look of utter fear across his face was one I know I’d never forget for as long as I live. Then there was her. The slut. I’d never seen her before but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew all about me. There she stood, about 5’5, with absolutely nothing special about her in any shape, form, or fashion. She was basic. Yet, this is who my husband chose to spend his Friday night with. His lying ass!

  It was as if everything was moving in slow motion. I lunged at the both of them. Not sure which one I wanted to attack first. I slapped Rick as hard as I could with him yelling, “Baby! Baby! Baby! Charlie, calm down!” But I didn’t want to hear any of that, I was out for blood. I wasn’t even sure who I was punching, kicking, clawing, but I was sure every hit was making impact with one of them.

  Then suddenly, I was being pulled away. Someone had picked me up and pulled me from the adulterous pair. I could feel my feet lifting from the ground as I was being picked up. I was barefoot, where were my shoes?

  “Put me down! Muthafucka! Put me down!” I screamed. I wasn’t satisfied. I was out for blood.

  “I will, once you calm down,” the stranger said. It was a man.

  I tried to calm myself down but I couldn’t. My heart was racing, my throat was dry as hell and I wasn’t done with Rick and his basic ass sidepiece just yet.

  But the stranger was far stronger than me. He threw me over his shoulder and I immediately started kicking and screaming harder and louder than before. Who did he think he was? What business of this was his? This was between my husband and me.

  “Calm down, ma. I’m tryna get you out of here before the laws get here,” he said. And as soon as he said that, I broke down crying.

  This was some bird shit. I was better than this. I hadn’t been in a fight since my freshman year in high school. I was too grown for this. I broke down and cried so hard my throat felt raw. I didn’t even notice the stranger had returned me to my feet and I was now swallowed in his arms. It took at least two minutes of me boo-hooing until I realized I was in the arms of another man. Instinctively, I
pulled away.

  When I looked into the eyes of the stranger I was taken aback. He was very fair skinned, had the most beautiful set of green eyes I’d ever seen. He stood about 6’2, had long dark brown dreads that were pulled back into a ponytail, a rough, yet pretty face that hadn’t seen a razor in weeks, and a smile that would con any woman out of her panties.

  I wiped my face, embarrassed that I’d shown such raw emotion to a complete stranger. He must have sensed my uneasiness because he stepped back and stuck both of his hands in the pockets of his green and blue track jacket.

  I also took two steps back as well. The gravel beneath my feet made me sorely aware I’d lost my very expensive shoes somewhere in the middle of my brawl. All I wanted to do was go home now, crawl into my bed, and cover my head with my feather down comforter.

  “You gonna be alright, ma?” The stranger said.

  I nodded my head unable to make eye contact with him again because I was too embarrassed of the complete fool I’d just made of myself.

  “You need a ride somewhere?”

  My car! I looked up and I was sure the alarm on my face took the stranger by surprise.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked.

  “My car keys. I must have dropped them during the…” I couldn’t allow myself to finish the sentence.

  “Fight?” He said and he was actually smiling. I would have punched him in the face if his face wasn’t so damn gorgeous.

  I started walking away. Back to where I’d ambushed Rick and his whore. I had to have dropped my car keys there. As soon as I’d gotten at least four steps away from him, the beautiful stranger pulled on my arm. I yanked it away from him just as quickly as he’d touched me. Who did he think he was?

  “Leave me alone,” I said. I wanted to scream it as loud as I could but for some reason it came out as a whisper.

  He put both hands up as if to surrender to me. “Look, I ain’t tryna’ hurt you or nothing. I just don’t wanna see a beautiful young woman such as yourself getting locked up tonight over some bullshit.”