Arranged Love: An Indian Boy's Search in Amrika To Find A Suitable Girl

by Ajay Patel

  After their performance had come to its end, the raas program started, which Vijay had once described to his American friends as rhythmic square dancing with decorated sticks. Unlike the garba, the men generally joined in this part of the program to do raas. Vijay had once surmised that the sticks gave the dancing a masculine enough quality for them to participate. After two hours of Indian doe-see-doeing, the guests had all left, realizing that they all would have to come back for the wedding early the next day.

  “Hey Vijay!” Amit let out, laughing. “You really missed your calling by not going into show biz! That was a great performance on stage!”

  “Thanks,” Vijay said with a weak smile.

  “Can you do me a favor?” Amit asked. “Stick around for a second as back up. I’m nervous about meeting Sonia’s best friend from back east and I want to meet her with some friendly support from my camp.”

  No sooner had Amit said that when Sonia excitedly called out his name from across the room. “Amit! Look, Rina just got here from the airport!” Sonia was hugging a woman as they were walking over to them. The woman next to her was a little taller than Sonia with long silky hair and strikingly beautiful eyes. Vijay looked at her, attracted to her immediately.

  “Rina, I’ve heard so much about you, it’s nice to finally meet you,” Amit said politely when they were close enough to be properly introduced. “All Sonia would ever do is talk about you and how much she missed you since she’s come out to California.”

  “I know. This last year was rough for both of us because we weren’t able to see each other as much. I’ve been busy with med school at Georgetown and have really missed her company,” she added with a playful sigh. “I’ve only been in the states for a few years and Sonia has been my best friend from day one. That’s why no matter what she has to say, it’s much tougher on me…she at least has you now.” As Rina finished her sentence she made quick eye contact with Vijay, who had up to now said nothing, standing discretely in the background.

  Vijay’s bachelor senses seemed to have picked up a signal. He did the semantic analysis of her statement in a flash. Was this a coded message to let him know that she was not seeing anybody?

  Amit continued talking to Rina, neglecting to introduce her to Vijay. After a few minutes, Vijay took matters into his own hands encouraged by his interpretation of Rina’s last sentence and the look she had given him. “Excuse me, Amit here was a little nervous about meeting you so he asked me to stick around to help make conversation. But after I agreed to help him out, he neglected to even introduce me.”

  “Oh, Rina, this is my best man, Vijay.” Amit said apologetically.

  Vijay took her outstretched hand with both of his. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

  Rina’s eyes met Vijay’s again. Although it was only for a split second, it felt like a lifetime. Standing there, with her hand in both of his, Vijay felt as though he knew. It had happened. Love at first sight!

  Unfortunately, those few seconds were all that they were afforded. Before Rina could even reply, Sonia’s mom called out from across the auditorium. “Sonia! Rina! Let’s go please! Tomorrow is a big day and you both need to get some rest.”

  “Well, we better go,” said Sonia, reluctant to leave Amit.

  “Yeah, I know how mom is, you better go,” said Amit, equally reluctant. Vijay was struck at how quickly Amit had transitioned from saying “your mom” to just “mom” when he referred to Sonia’s mother.

  As they were walking away from Vijay and Amit, Vijay called out without thought, feeling as reluctant as the others about Sonia and Rina leaving, “I’ll see you at the wedding,” almost in a question-like fashion in their general direction.

  “Of course silly! I’ll be at my own wedding!” laughed Sonia as they walked away.

  But Vijay had directed his parting question to Rina, and somehow he knew that Rina was aware of this. It was almost as if he was saying to her when she turned to look over her shoulder in his direction, “I hope to get to know you more tomorrow.” Her look to him in return filled him with hope. She seemed to say with a slight smile that she was looking forward to their next meeting.

  Amit then turned to Vijay, oblivious to any other conversations than the ones he had with Sonia, and said, “I think my day is just as important as Sonia’s so what do you say about our getting out of here?”

  To that Vijay added “I agree. Tomorrow will be a big day. Maybe for both of us,” he ended the sentence with a hopeful sigh, based only on a smile and a look from Rina.

  5

  A Las Vegas Indian Wedding

  Although Vijay lived close by, Amit asked him to stay over after the garba raas program and because Vijay was the best man, he readily agreed. Lying on a makeshift bed on the other side of Amit’s room, Vijay briefly processed the evening’s events with Amit in the darkness hoping that the topic of Rina would surface. It never happened because before either of them knew it, they had fallen asleep.

  They both woke up before the alarm clock even sounded. “I can’t believe it! I’m getting married today!” said Amit, jumping out of bed and pacing back and forth in the room full of nervous energy.

  In reality, Amit and Sonia had already “officially” been married a month earlier. The Indian pandit who would be performing the wedding ceremony later that day was not registered to sign the marriage license so they had gone to the courthouse to make it official. It had been a small nondescript ceremony in the judge’s chambers with only their parents present. Within five minutes and with little fanfare, uncharacteristic of what their Indian ceremony would be like, Amit and Sonia had become husband and wife.

  Vijay kidded Amit about the civil ceremony, reminding him he had no reason to be nervous. “You know, I’ve decided if my Indian wedding doesn’t count and I have to go through some official ceremony, I wouldn’t do it the way you and Sonia did it.”

  “Oh yeah, how would you do it differently?” asked Amit, sitting down on the carpeted floor to catch his breath.

  “Well, first of all, I’d invite more people than just my parents!” Vijay started.

  “You have to realize that when you go to the courthouse there isn’t a big room where all your guests can watch and cry,” Amit stated.

  “In that case, why even hold it in a courthouse?” The seed of an idea slowly began to grow in Vijay’s mind. “In fact, I’d go to Vegas instead!” The most important thing he wanted for his wedding was for it to be fun. He couldn’t think of a better place to satisfy that requirement than to get married in one of those fast food like chapels with astroturf in the front and a drive-thru tunnel of love. Vijay swept his arms out like a visionary. “Your court ceremony was a total forgettable event! No offense,” Vijay said, looking at Amit, quickly reverting back to reality.

  “None taken,” Amit said with a grin, knowing better than to try and derail Vijay’s enthusiastic train of thought.

  “And this huge Indian ceremony,” Vijay continued, “is really just a bunch of your parents’ acquaintances.” The fact of the matter was that with almost a thousand guests attending, Rocky and Sonia were going to be busy taking pictures and saying their hellos to strangers rather than celebrating with their friends.

  “That’s why the number one rule of my “official” wedding will be that it has to be fun! Especially for the bride and the groom!” declared Vijay.

  “I think in your case the number one rule should be finding a woman willing to go through with it!” Amit retorted.

  “Don’t hold me back!” exclaimed Vijay, not to be dissuaded. He went on to explain the rules—-No one over the age of thirty-five would be invited, the groom would have to wear a light blue polyester tuxedo with wide lapels, a ruffled shirt, and white patent leather shoes. The bride would have to be blond, either naturally or by wig, with a feather boa around her neck to match the groom’s tuxedo. “And of course, Elvis would be in the building!”

  “Of course,” Amit laughed in agreement. “I have to admit, it certa
inly would be a memorable event! It’s still a wonder with your ideas that you’re not married yet, if not just for the excuse to go to Vegas!”

  “Tell me about it!” answered Vijay with an exaggerated sigh, not understanding his failure to get married yet either.

  6

  Lost Shoes Blues

  Later in the morning after the Griha Shanti, Ganesh Puja, and other religious ceremonies had been completed at home, all of the relatives, including Amit, were ready and the group left for the wedding hall, which was one of the ballrooms of a Doubletree Hotel in Long Beach. Vijay rode with Amit and his parents, followed by all of their relatives and family friends. Theirs was a comical procession of minivans, Toyota Camrys, and Honda Accords—all of which were the favored modes of transportation in the Indian community given their high sensibility ratio, which meant optimal functionality, reliability, and low price at the sacrifice of style, power, luxury and comfort.

  Once Amit’s family and friends had arrived at the wedding hall, they all congregated a hundred yards from the front entrance as a part of the baraat, the groom’s procession to meet the bride. There was another group of Sonia’s family and friends at the door waiting to greet and welcome the baraat. It was a little comical, Vijay thought with a smile. It was like the Indian version of a fight scene from West Side Story with two rival gangs eyeing each other from across the way getting ready to rumble. However, instead of leather jackets and jeans, these people wore suits and saris.

  A woman walked up to them with a white horse following obediently behind her. According to Indian custom, the groom was supposed to arrive on a white horse to his wedding. In most of the weddings that Vijay had attended in America, most families had opted for a white convertible instead. Amit’s parents, however, wanted his wedding to be special and had rented a horse for Amit to ride on even though he had never ridden one before in his life.

  Once Amit was on the horse he was handed a decorated coconut, a symbol of purity and fertility, and then the baraat surrounded him and the procession began. At the front, Amit’s cousins and friends were singing and dancing with one cousin shouldering a heavy boom box that was playing lively wedding music. In India, while the women sang and danced, the men would set off firecrackers announcing the arrival of the groom. This, however, had proven to be disastrous at a wedding Vijay and Amit had attended earlier that year. Just like Amit, the groom at that wedding had arrived on a horse. However, when the firecrackers were set off, the horse panicked and reared up on its hind legs throwing the groom off into a puddle on the ground. The entire set of wedding pictures were choreographed thereafter to hide the large stains on the groom’s clothing without much success. Although not seriously hurt, it was an outcome more suitable for a video bloopers show rather than a wedding.

  At the front entrance it took Vijay and several others to help Amit off the horse. Following both sets of parents and with Vijay at his side, Amit then entered into the wedding hall led by a videographer, who walked backwards and slightly ahead of him to capture every step he took. Amit walked up to the mandap, a red, white, and gold decorated gazebo-like structure adorned with long strings of orange carnations tied to the top and hanging down like a floral curtain. The mandap was located in the middle of the ballroom with chairs for the guests all around. Inside the mandap, where the actual wedding ceremony would take place, the pandit sat on the floor in the middle with two large chairs facing opposite each other and a small makeshift hibachi from which the holy flames for the phera ceremony would be lit. It was around this that the bride and the groom would make the rounds of Dharma, Kam, Aarth, and Moksh, each round representing the vows of religion, love, wealth, and salvation respectively. Two beautifully ornate floor pillows were placed inside the mandap on which only Sonia’s parents sat down because the initial ceremonies would reflect that they were giving away their daughter.

  As soon as Amit approached the mandap, he took his shoes off. Vijay immediately took custody of them, and then handed them to Rocky, who had been standing nearby. Rocky would be responsible for guarding Amit’s shoes.

  As Amit’s best man, Vijay had come to learn that as elaborate and formal as Indian weddings were, much of it was really just playing games. Vijay’s duty was to make sure that Amit’s side did not lose to Sonia’s side and one of the games had already begun. It was the goal of Sonia’s side to steal Amit’s shoes while he sat in the mandap during the wedding. The significance for doing so was never explained to Vijay and he never questioned it. All he knew was that if the girl’s side succeeded, they could hold them for ransom because Amit was not allowed to leave unless he put them back on.

  “Rocky, guard these with your life,” Vijay said as he handed him Amit’s shoes. “I don’t care how many family members they throw your way. Do you have some help?”

  “Oh yeah, don’t worry about it!” Rocky assured Vijay. “The guys will stick with me. No matter how large a group they send at us, we aren’t going to lose!” Vijay felt confident as Rocky himself was a formidable foe, having played football in high school and rugby in college. “And Swati and Nina volunteered,” he pointed to them, “in case there are female weapons that they throw our way.”

  “Nina and I will make sure that none of the women use their charms on the guys and steal the shoes away,” Swati promised with a grin.

  “All right. Bring them back after the wedding is finished,” Vijay instructed them.

  They walked away with a ring of bodyguards around them. The crown jewels couldn’t have been guarded more closely.

  Once Amit entered the mandap, he sat down in one of the chairs, Vijay sat down in a chair beside and slightly behind him to Amit’s right, and the wedding began. The pandit began to perform the ceremonies in Gujarati. Because Amit had no idea what was being said, at the end of every sentence the pandit would instruct him in English what to do. From time to time, Vijay assisted Amit by holding various items while the ceremonies were being conducted. For the first half hour of the ceremony the seat opposite of Amit, the seat meant for Sonia, remained unoccupied because it was not yet time for the bride to arrive. After a number of the initial ceremonies had been concluded, two of Sonia’s cousins came into the mandap and raised a long silk sheet up. The sheet was held in the middle of the mandap and was used to prevent Amit from looking across at the chair in which Sonia would soon be sitting. Although they could see nothing, a stir in the crowd let them know that Sonia had entered into the room.

  “Make sure you look closely at the face when this sheet comes down,” Vijay whispered to Amit. “We want to make sure that they don’t pull a switch on you!”

  “If someone really scary is in the chair instead of Sonia, it’s your duty to step in and take the bullet for me,” Amit joked back.

  “Stop goofing off back there!” a soft voice called out from across the sheet. “Don’t you realize that there’s a wedding going on!” It was Sonia. She evidently must have arrived at her chair on the other side while Vijay and Amit were talking.

  A strange voice then laughingly floated over the sheet. “Sonia, I’m confused. Now tell me again. Did you say that Amit’s friend Vijay was funny, or funny looking?”

  “Watch out!” Amit laughed at Vijay, “It sounds like my wife to be has brought in reinforcements!” Rina, Sonia’s maid of honor, was also sitting in the mandap in a supporting role similar to the one Vijay was playing for Amit.

  Their conversation was cut short by a rise in volume from the pandit as he tirelessly performed ceremonies unknown to the bride and groom. Evidently, the sheet separating them would be lowered soon.

  Vijay gave Amit a reassuring nod, and slowly the sheet held between Amit and Sonia dropped.

  For the first time that day, Amit saw Sonia. She looked regal. As ornate as was the outfit that Amit had on, it paled in comparison to the wedding sari that Sonia was wearing. Vijay had just attended an American ceremony for one of his college friends, and the bride had worn a beautiful yet simple white gown. Sonia’s cr
imson and white wedding sari, which colors represented fertility and purity, was the exact opposite. It was overlaid with gold embroidery in such an elaborate manner, that the crimson silk cloth which was the canvas for the designs could hardly be seen. At first, Vijay hadn’t believed Sonia when she had said that her wedding sari weighed over thirty pounds. But now, looking at it up close, he could understand how all the gold and other work stitched on made it very beautiful but also very heavy to walk around in.

  In addition to her wedding sari, she also had beautiful tiny designs drawn on the brow of her face and even more intricate mehndi designs on her feet and on both sides of her hands. It was said that the darker the color of the mehndi, the stronger the love that would exist between the married couple. Based on the crimson shade that had dried onto Sonia’s hand after the mehndi party earlier that week, it seemed without a doubt that their love would last a lifetime. In addition to its dark color on Sonia, the mehndi was also drawn elaborately, with curly ques, flowers, and geometric shapes taking up every open space. Interspersed and hidden among the designs on Sonia’s palm were the letters to Amit’s name. A friend had once told Vijay that this was often done in India because when the shy bride and nervous groom had time alone after the wedding, the groom could, under the pretense of trying to find the letters to his name, innocently hold his bride’s hands in his hands for what was often the first time, given the traditionally conservative and short courtship periods.