Arranged Love: An Indian Boy's Search in Amrika To Find A Suitable Girl

by Ajay Patel

  After dinner was eaten and the dishes cleared away, Vijay and Megha rose to leave. Although the original plan was for Megha to go back with Rajan uncle and Leena auntie, Vijay asked if he could drop her off later that night so that they could spend more time together. There was no disagreement from anyone as they all seemed to be secretly hoping for a successful match between them and wanted to do all they could to help make that happen. Vijay could especially see this in his parents’ eyes. The natural warmth and excitement that they showed to Megha was more than they had ever been able to show to Jennifer.

  After saying their goodbyes and driving away, Vijay looked to Megha and said, “There’s a place a few miles down the road. A coffee house with nice big couches that we can lose ourselves in. Maybe we can hang out some more? Even after a whole weekend, I still don’t know what’s going on, with me, you, or us,” he shook his head slowly.

  He was troubled that his feelings for Megha ebbed and flowed as much as they did.

  “I think that’s a good idea,” she agreed, apparently feeling the same uncertainty.

  Vijay drove down past three stoplights and made a left into a strip mall parking lot. At one end, the anchor tenant was a supermarket store, open 24 hours, as advertised in neon lights right below its name. At the other end was a Hallmark gift shop with an innocuous coffee house right next to it. He parked right in front, his headlights briefly intruding through the window inside the quiet, dimly lit structure.

  They walked in and Megha picked out a purple velvet sofa in the corner of the room. It was warm and inviting, with the back and sides outrageously high, giving the person sitting on the sofa a sense of being tiny and surrounded by velvet. Vijay walked up to the counter, ordered two coffees, and carried them back to the sofa. Handing her a cup, he lifted his and took a careful sip, all the while just looking at her.

  For some reason the euphoria, the sense of everything clicking and feeling right during dinner, was slipping away. It was as if he had been intoxicated with feelings and emotions while with his parents, overcome by their apparent happiness in seeing him with Megha. But the coffee was now bringing him back to sobriety and his parents were no longer in the room. The doubts and questions that he first had during the weekend were returning stronger than ever.

  “So. Where do we go from here?” he asked her, confused and upset that the feelings of uncertainty had only temporarily been absent, having now come back in full strength.

  “I don’t know. I think it’s time that we just be straight and lay our cards on the table,” she sighed.

  “But I don’t know where to begin,” he complained. “There are times when I feel like you’re everything I want…” he let his thoughts start pouring out, not wasting any time laying out the usual disclaimers and ignoring all niceties.

  “But…” she said for him, sensing that there was a ‘but’ in there somewhere that had caused a slight pause in his sentence.

  “But, there are other times, well, I guess the thing that I think of a lot is that I just don’t always see fireworks going off when I’m with you.” He stopped the sentence abruptly and looked at her, hoping he hadn’t hurt her feelings. “Tell me something. Do you see any fireworks when you’re with me?” he asked, giving her the opportunity to say the same to keep the level of doubts even on both sides.

  She looked in her cup for a second, and then took a sip. She responded quietly, more to the cup than to Vijay, “No.” She looked up at him. “But I don’t know if I even believe in fireworks anymore. I don’t even think I need fireworks to make a relationship work,” she looked back at her cup. “Which is why I could see potential for us.”

  “Really?” Vijay asked, surprised.

  “Don’t get me wrong! I don’t want to make it sound like I’m willing to settle for less now with you. You’re one of the nicest guys I’ve met through this whole thing, with or without fireworks.” She let out a frustrated sigh, having given up trying to coherently explain. She looked up at him and said, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s just a lot easier after all the guys I’ve met to not hold out for fireworks because such a feeling may never exist. Then you don’t expect them and don’t get disappointed.”

  Vijay let the thought sink in for a moment and then realized why it was different for him. “That’s the problem for me though!” he responded, more animated as the uncertainty in him was solidifying into a concrete idea that he could intelligently express. “I’ve only started looking. You’re the first woman I’ve met. I still believe there can be fireworks. Maybe I’m just naïve and idealistic at this stage. Maybe later on I’ll realize there’s no such thing. But I haven’t even tried to look for them yet! I haven’t proved to myself that they can’t exist! And until I’ve at least looked, I’ll always wonder.”

  Megha listened and then sat silently for a second. “You have to keep looking then. You can’t go into any relationship thinking ‘what if’,” Megha said as if the answer was simple.

  “The frustrating thing is that you might be that right person for me, and that all of this is messed up only because of the order in which we met!” Vijay refused to believe such a simple answer had to be the answer. “I wonder, if I had met you after looking for a few years, having realized in that time, like you, that maybe there is no such thing as fireworks, whether I would be begging for you to be with me right now,” he said. There it was. The true reason why Vijay was in such anguish. Megha could be the one, yet he might not know it until later, when after meeting others, he finally realized it. But did that mean it could never work? Would it by then have been too late?

  Vijay tried to crystallize his thoughts, asking Megha “Do you think that we could both meet other people, and, after a while, try again if we’re still looking?”

  She looked up at him and answered full of doubt, “Maybe, but I think that’s something for the future. For now, I think we both know where we stand. At some level, I think I’m relieved as well. Maybe this is for the best…for both of us. So that we each hold out for those fireworks.”

  “If they even exist,” Vijay finished.

  They both got up and left. Vijay drove her to Leena auntie and Rajan uncle’s house. He pulled into the driveway and she looked at him.

  “Thanks for a great weekend,” she said softly, with a sad smile.

  “I had a great weekend too.”

  “Good luck,” she said, getting out of the car, keeping the conversation to a minimum now.

  “Good bye, and let’s please keep in touch,” Vijay answered. “And who knows? Maybe sometime in the future…,” Vijay ended hopefully.

  “Maybe,” she said with a weak smile and closed the door. Vijay waited as she walked up to the door, opened it, and went inside. Sitting in his car in the darkness, he was alone once again.

  7

  The Rules vs. The Code

  Months had passed since Megha had visited and the matrimonial machinery continued at full speed. Vijay and his parents regularly received photographs, bio-datas, and even phone calls from people across the country.

  His parents were the first line of defense when the phone calls came because their phone number was on his bio-data. The calls usually went like “Hello, Jayendrabhai, this is K.C. Patel calling from West Virginia. Our friend Dhirendrabhai from Detroit, who knows Baraat Desai from North Carolina, who married your brother Pravin’s wife’s sister, told us about your son. We are having a daughter and we are looking for a boy for her.”

  The standard operating procedure that Vijay had worked out with his parents when these calls came was simple. They were to send his picture and bio-data in return for the girl’s. Then, when Vijay had more information about the girl, including her picture so that he knew what she looked like, he would call her if he was interested and she would talk to him if she was interested.

  Unfortunately, even after the preliminary due diligence, the follow-up conversations Vijay had were often not fruitful. This was only because there was no true way for
Vijay to discriminate those who he wasn’t interested in and those who he could be interested in just by talking on the telephone. Fortunately, however, many of the women that Vijay had been introduced to lived close by. When this was true, Vijay learned not to spend too much time on the telephone with a woman before asking her to meet in person. This way, unlike with what had happened between him and Megha, he could meet the woman before he had invested too much time getting to know her. Investing that time and becoming friends before meeting someone complicated things in a process that otherwise was meant to be streamlined, mechanical and methodical.

  Rocky had once explained to him that the process instituted by their parents, as efficient as it was, lacked a certain sense of romance necessary for the kinds of things that it intended to accomplish. Rather than picking a woman up from her house when on a first date, the parties now agreed to meet at a designated restaurant to avoid having to meet parents and being subjected to uncomfortable post-meeting good byes. Life stories were exchanged via bio-datas, hugs were replaced by handshakes, and marriages were considered more deals that were to be closed after due diligence rather than life-long decisions. After meeting a number of women through this sterile process with no luck, Vijay began to grow tired and frustrated.

  To: spatel@georgetown.edu From: vpatel@mwe.com Re: What’s Up?

  Rina!

  Hey cuz, long time no e-mail! I know I haven’t sent you e-mail in a while, but you know how it is—the folks have me meeting all kinds of random women.

  Tell me how your search is going and send e-mail soon.

  Vijay To: vpatel@mwe.com From: spatel@georgetown.edu Re: Reply: What’s Up?

  hey vijay, nice to hear from you. i was beginning to think you hadn’t e-mailed me because of all of those lawyer jokes I had forwarded to you…my favorite is still—How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?—when his lips move! ;)…haha

  I’m not having any more luck than you are when it comes to meeting people!!! my parents keep introducing me to marital prospects, but there isn’t much prospect in the one’s they’re setting me up with if you know what I mean! :(…I’m beginning to get discouraged too.

  love your cousin——Rina <3

  To: spatel@georgetown.edu From: vpatel@mwe.com Re: What’s Up?

  Rina,

  It really is too bad we can’t go out with each other because we’re related. I know, that sounds kinda weird to say. But think about it, we would know for sure that our families would get along and talk to each other. You should have seen what had happened to me with the last woman I met! All I said at the end of a less than spectacular date was it was nice to meet her and that I wished her “great success”. By the time this message was translated from English to Gujarati to Hindi, and then back to English, from the woman to her mom to her dad to my dad to me, it had been turned into my being some kinda Indian gigolo wanting to “have great sex”.

  I feel like I’m never going to find anyone going through this whole arranged set-up with all the folks involved! Help me!

  Vijay

  To: vpatel@mwe.com From: spatel@georgetown.edu Re: Reply: What’s Up?

  Vijay…I had a thought after reading your last e-mail…I have a lot of single friends and I know you do too…and the only thing everyone ever complains about is that they can’t seem to find anyone…we shouldn’t just count on our parents…we should hook each other up with our friends…what do you think?…Rina

  To: spatel@georgetown.edu From: vpatel@mwe.com Re: What’s Up?

  Rina,

  That sounds like a great idea! My friend Rocky is looking. He’s tall, fair, and handsome (you know the parents wouldn’t like someone tall, DARK and handsome)! What do you say? This way I can kill two single birds with one stone!

  Vijay To: spatel@georgetown.edu From: vpatel@mwe.com Re: What’s Up?

  Rocky???…did I meet him with you at Amit’s wedding? If it’s the guy I’m thinking of…I don’t think so…

  To: spatel@georgetown.edu From: vpatel@mwe.com Re: What’s Up?

  Dear Ms. Picky

  I was thinking of the same Rocky that you were so it’s a no go. But enough about you—I still haven’t heard of anyone you would be willing to set me up with!

  More importantly, I have exciting news! I’ll be in New York for a few days for work next week. Any way you can come down from D.C. to pay a visit over the weekend while I’m there?

  I’d love to see you again. Let me know. Vijay

  To: vpatel@mwe.com From: spatel@georgetown.edu Re: Reply: What’s Up?

  Hey…sorry but I can’t meet up with you in NY…studying for boards has really been killing me…I barely have time to even sleep…I was thinking about our e-mails and there is someone I want you to meet up with while you’re in the city…I met her a month ago in D.C at a party…even though I don’t really know her, she seems really really cool and she’s really really beautiful!…her name is Mona…at the party we had this long talk about meeting guys and we agreed that we should hook each other up like you and I have talked about…After all, it makes sense for people our age to set each other up since we know the truth (dirt)…besides parents can be pretty biased and live life in denial about what their kids are really like…to make a long story short, i decided to take matters into my own hands…i e-mailed her and told her about you and asked if she could show you around…Here’s her e-mail address—drop her a line:

  m.patel@nyu.fash.edu

  Rina

  PS—remember…she’s really pretty!!!

  To: spatel@georgetown.edu From: vpatel@mwe.com Re: What’s Up?

  Rina!

  I can’t believe you’re putting me into the hands of a stranger while I’m in New York! It sounds like you barely even know her! By the way—How pretty is she really? Vijay

  To: vpatel@mwe.com From: spatel@georgetown.edu Re: What’s Up?

  just e-mail her…i don’t have to be best friends with everyone I hook you up with…be adventurous and take a chance…you have nothing to lose…if you’re going to meet women you don’t know, you might as well do it this way instead of through our folks…bye

  To: mpatel@nyu.fash.edu From: vpatel@mwe.com Re: Meeting up in NYC

  Hi Mona,

  I’m already embarrassed that my cousin Rina has out of nowhere asked if you would meet me while I’m in New York next weekend. I enjoy meeting new people and would love to see you if you are free, but I know this is all a little strange and if you aren’t up to it, I’d understand. Let me know.

  Vijay To: vpatel@mwe.com From: mpatel@nyu.fash.edu Re: Reply: Meeting up in NYC

  Vijay,

  I’m like you and like to meet new people too. If the timing works out, I’d be

  happy to show you around! The only reason I mention timing is because there’s an international fashion show in the Village next weekend and some of my school designs are going to be in the show as a part of the South East Asian/Indian showcase. I’m in design school (Has Rina even told you anything about me, because she hasn’t told me anything about you? (But at least that’ll give us something to talk about!)). So it’s great you’re coming up that weekend (that is if you’re interested in seeing this kind of stuff).

  But the bad thing is that I’ll probably be stressed out of my mind that week and won’t get to spend too much time with you and I may be less than pleasant company.

  If you can deal with a busy and potentially deranged person, I’d love to meet you. Mona

  To: mpatel@nyu.fash.edu From: vpatel@wme.com Re: Reply: Meeting up in NYC

  Mona,

  I think it’d be very cool to meet up with you and see a fashion show. Just let me know the details if you’re sure it’s okay. Thanks again! Vijay

  It was Wednesday night and Vijay was packing for his trip to New York. He was flying on the red eye, arriving mid-morning Thursday, and going straight to the office to help close a deal he was working on.

  The phone rang. “Hello?” he answered after two rings. He had picked up the cordless ph
one so that he could continue packing while he talked.

  “Vijay? Wow, I finally get a voice!” It was Rocky.

  “Sorry I haven’t returned your calls,” Vijay apologized, pulling the zipper around the now shut travel bag. Rocky had called earlier that week to make plans for the coming weekend. “Things have been a little busy at work lately. I’m not going to be able to go out to that party this Saturday because I’ll be in New York meeting a woman named Mona who’s in fashion school,” Vijay said, sitting down on the couch now that all his preparations for the trip were complete.

  “Fashion school huh? I bet she’s gorgeous! How do you get so lucky?” Rocky asked enviously.

  “Well, she’s studying to be a designer, not a model, so it’s not an automatic that she’s beautiful. That’s what’s kinda scary. I’m doing this pictureless so I don’t even know what she looks like!” Vijay confessed. “All I’ve done is exchanged a couple of e-mails with her.”

  “What!? Did you meet her on one of those matrimonial websites?” Rocky exclaimed.

  “No, nothing like that!” Vijay replied with a laugh. “My cousin Rina knows her and gave me her e-mail address and introduced us. But wait a minute! Are you telling me there are matrimonial web sites?”

  “There are a couple of sites out there,” Rocky answered. “You basically post your bio-data information and a couple of pictures. A ton of single people have put stuff on these sites. If you like someone that you see, you just e-mail them and start a conversation. And the best thing is that there are no parents involved.”