Arranged Love: An Indian Boy's Search in Amrika To Find A Suitable Girl

by Ajay Patel

  “What’re you guys talking about?” Tanvi asked, joining their conversation. Rocky, who was sitting on the other side of Tanvi downing his fifth drink also looked towards them with interest.

  “Vijay is going to share some of his best pick up lines with us,” Malu laughed.

  “Ooh! I want to hear one. Can you try a line on me too?” Tanvi asked eagerly, almost as if Vijay was handing out treats.

  Vijay rubbed his hands together and tried to think of some. “Hmm. Give me a second,” he said closing his eyes as if that would help. It was like telling jokes. He knew a million of them, but for some reason he could never remember any when called upon to do so. “There’s always the standard ‘If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?’” he offered without much conviction as it was the first line to come to mind and he was desperate to throw something out.

  Tanvi let out a remarkably valley girl-like ‘oh…my…god’ groan. Malu just smiled.

  Rocky grinned broadly, the alcohol encouraging him to participate now. “Not bad! That’s good for a start. But by the way Malu is looking, I don’t think she’s sold on that one. I personally like the very simple yet elegant ‘Excuse me, are you a model?’ Or the classic, ‘So many curves, and me without any brakes!’” Rocky laughed. Malu and Tanvi again could only groan to show that they had not yet been impressed.

  After a few more offerings, it was almost like Rocky and Vijay were dueling with bad pick up lines. “Okay. How about, ‘if I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together?” grinned Vijay.

  “With that line, I would put P and U together!” Tanvi laughed.

  “Tough crowd! Okay, I’ve got one,” Rocky was up to the challenge. He took a deep breath to try and regain his composure. He had now had quite a few drinks and appeared to be highly buzzed. He looked at Malu and asked, “Are you tired?”

  “No. Why?” Malu answered, barely keeping a straight face as she leaned over onto Vijay to try and listen to what Rocky was saying, almost as if the alcohol had somehow affected her hearing.

  “Because ever since I saw you, you’ve been running through my mind!”

  Groans from the others were uniform again. Vijay rejoined the fray. “Okay. Here’s my sure fire, can’t lose line,” Vijay said. He took a deep breath and then looked deeply into Malu’s eyes. Vijay and Malu both were tipsy and their faces got closer. Vijay could feel her hot breath on his face. He lowered his voice and said seriously, “You know, of all the fat women in this room, you perspire the least!”

  Malu, the delicate creature who looked like a bombshell, tipsy from more than a few drinks, let out a loud laugh. “No wonder you’re at the convention! With lines like that you’ll never find a woman on your own!”

  “Please? You can’t tell me there weren’t a few winners in there,” Rocky complained, hurt that they weren’t impressed at any of their offerings.

  “So far you’re still by yourselves guys,” Malu laughed. “Please tell me that you don’t use lines like that when you want to impress a lady.”

  “I have to admit, I don’t,” Vijay admitted with a grin.

  “Really?” Tanvi said. “Then you’ll have to tell us. How do you pick up on women?”

  “Actually, my approach is all together different,” Vijay stopped laughing and put his napkin on the table having finished dinner. “I just compliment women. I guess, although it’s not really a pick up line, it might be considered a pick up mechanism if it fell into the wrong hands!”

  “That’s it? That’s all you do?” Tanvi asked, as if this revelation by Vijay was nothing but anticlimactic. “Sounds kinda cheesy and fake to me.”

  “It is unless you do it right,” Vijay agreed. “There has to be a legitimate reason for the compliment. Otherwise it’s like you said, just a cheesy pick-up line.”

  “I still don’t get it,” Tanvi insisted. “Why don’t you show us. Give Malu here one of your patented compliments as an example.”

  “For educational purposes only, right?” Vijay asked them for assurance.

  “Yes, for educational purposes,” Malu agreed with a smile, “What would you hypothetically say to me?”

  “Okay,” Vijay took the tone that a professor might in front of a class during lecture, “Making sure the compliment doesn’t go overboard and at the same time making sure it’s tasteful, I could see myself saying ‘I just wanted to tell you that there aren’t many women here that stand out, but you really do in that dress. And I just wanted to let you know that.’”

  “Well, it’s definitely better than your dumb pick up lines! But it’s still a pick up line to me,” Malu complained.

  “But that’s not the whole thing. There’s a crucial additional step involved,” Vijay explained.

  “And that is?” Malu asked.

  “I call it the walk away,” Vijay explained. “After I give you the compliment, I say good bye and walk away, maybe saying I need to meet up with someone as an excuse to leave you.”

  “What?” Tanvi said, puzzled. “You don’t stick around to get the girl? What’s the whole point if you walk away?”

  “Don’t you see?” Vijay asked, making it sound like the reason was as apparent as the noses on their faces.

  “No, we don’t,” Malu said, equally puzzled.

  “You tell me that my giving you a compliment still feels like a pick up line. So what better way to make it appear as though it’s not then by walking away?”

  “But you really are trying to pick up on the woman, whether or not you want her to know it!” Tanvi interrupted. “By walking away, you leave her behind. What did that accomplish?”

  Vijay grinned, “I don’t know if I should be talking anymore. I’m revealing just a bit too much about my modus operandi already.”

  “No! You can’t stop now!” Tanvi said shaking him.

  Malu looked at Vijay and then looked at Tanvi. A look of understanding could be seen on her face as she started to laugh. “Tanvi, the reason Vijay isn’t saying anything is because he feels that he hasn’t lost anything by walking away. If anything, he feels like he’s just locked me up for a later conversation. A conversation started by me so I don’t feel like he ever used a pick up line!”

  Vijay raised his hand in protest and laughed, “I have to tell you. It works on you women all the time!”

  Before Malu could even form a drunken retort, Sanjiv came from behind and pulled at one of her arms.

  “Malu! I need to talk to you,” he said sharply, evidently feeling like she was enjoying herself more than what the rules permitted. Vijay looked up at Sanjiv, who consciously, it seemed to Vijay, made no effort to make eye contact with him. Vijay could tell that Sanjiv had a look that indicated he had seen enough. His face was full of jealousy.

  “I’ll be with you in a second,” Malu pouted to Sanjiv, holding onto Vijay’s arm, but at the same time, kissing the hand Sanjiv had put on her.

  “No! Now!” he said angrily. He pulled her up abruptly.

  “I’ll talk to you later,” said Malu to Vijay with a drunken wink of mischief as she was pulled away from the table to have a heated conversation with Sanjiv.

  Vijay was in shock at first. He then hesitated. Should he get up and follow? If anything, to make sure she was all right? Tanvi sensing the questions being played out in his mind said, “Let them go. Sanjiv just gets jealous now and then. You’ll just be the latest guy he’ll look at with daggers now,” she smirked.

  “Why? They’re not going out or anything are they?” Vijay asked her.

  “They are,” she said. “They’re one of those on again off again types though. You know how with some couples it depends on which month it is whether they’re going out or not. With them, it depends on the hour. But that’s just because Sanjiv is ridiculously jealous. See. There they are, all lovey-dovey again,” she pointed to them across the room.

  Vijay just looked at Tanvi. He then looked at Malu and Sanjiv who were across the way. And then he felt sorry, not for
Malu, but for Sanjiv. To have someone you care so much about act the way Vijay could sense she did with him and others, would make anyone, not just Sanjiv, crazy with jealousy.

  “I need another drink,” said Tanvi. “I’m going to get one, you wanna come?” she lurched his direction, no doubt feeling the full effects of the alcohol she had already taken in.

  Vijay looked at her, and shook his head no, having sobered up from the goings on of the California crowd. She rose to leave and Vijay just looked around the table and began to see why Rocky had described them as a little strange and too much to handle. He moved over two seats to sit next to Rocky who had during this time become very quiet. Vijay could tell that Rocky was on the downswing from all the alcohol he had taken in quick and early. Vijay also knew that just as the alcohol, if but for a brief moment, made Rocky seem happy and over with his plight, would now only intensify the hurt and depression unless Vijay distracted him.

  “Rocky, this California crowd’s kinda crazy and messed up. Let’s move on and meet some normal women.” Vijay pulled him up and they started to walk around. By then, dinner had already concluded and the others were starting to leave the room. Although Vijay hoped that they would have the chance to walk around out in the hallway, he began to realize that Rocky was drunk and in no shape for that, let alone to either go to the party to dance or talk to people. So Vijay, with a wistful sigh, maneuvered Rocky to a couch and planted himself next to him, relegated to surveying the scene around him. He hoped that Rocky would sober up, but he wasn’t holding his breath.

  As they were sitting there Vijay saw Megha walking around with Komal in tow. She looked across the room and caught sight of Vijay and Rocky and came to them.

  “Hey! We missed you guys at dinner,” Megha said. “What’s been going on?” Komal was in the background shaky and looking angry.

  “Oh, I hung out with some people from California for a while with Rocky. And well, Rocky kinda got drunk…”

  “I’m not drunk!” Rocky slurred slowly, “I’m just very sad. Poor me!”

  “…and so, I’m taking care of him right now,” finished Vijay.

  “I don’t need any taking care of,” moped Rocky. “I’m used to being alone,” he said full of self-pity. “Go. Have fun. I’ll be okay on my own.”

  Komal, who up to now was concentrating on just staying upright, exploded “Why don’t you just shut the hell up!”

  “Let me guess,” Vijay said with a smile, “Komal had a little too much to drink too, huh?”

  “Oh yes she did,” Megha said. “You’ve missed a lot of fun. She’s been getting a little fed up with this whole thing and has been hiding it behind a polite southern smile. Turns out Milan found someone, which although is great news for the family, it just got Komal a little down knowing all the new pressure she’ll get now. What, with a younger male relative finding someone before her. And when she’s drunk, it all comes out in the most obnoxious way.”

  “Even more obnoxious than normal? Save us!” Vijay joked.

  “You…are…an…idiot!” Komal spit out slowly and venomously pointing at Rocky although talking to Vijay. She swayed uncertainly like a ship in rough waters.

  “Komal, before you get me sea sick, why don’t you sit down. Move over Rocky,” Vijay motioned to him to make room on the couch for Komal.

  “Rocky! So this is the famous Rock Shit who ditched us at our table because he was so scared to be with five amazing women? Another male idiot!” she said loudly with a snicker to no one in particular while nearly collapsing onto the couch.

  Rocky looked up at Komal as she sat next to him, put his hand to his forehead in drunken fashion wondering what bad things he had done in the past to deserve such treatment, and repeated once again, “Poor me!”

  “Well, at least Komal’s obnoxiousness is better than Rocky. He just gets depressed,” Vijay said to Megha.

  While Vijay and Megha continued to talk, Komal focused on Rocky. Soon a conversation of comical quality took place between the two of them as they explained how life had given each of them a raw deal.

  Vijay and Megha just looked at each other and laughed. They joined Komal and Rocky on the couch, who were providing quite a bit of entertainment now. “I guess we’re stuck being the caretakers tonight,” Megha sighed.

  “What a weekend this is turning out to be,” Vijay said to her over the drunken commotion that Rocky and Komal were making.

  “You’re know what your problem is and why you haven’t found a guy? You’re just plain mean!” Rocky said to Komal after she had unleashed a verbal barrage against men in general, although it appeared to all directed at Rocky.

  “Well…you know what you’re problem is?” Komal fired back unsteadily but angrily. “You’re a man which makes you an idiot!”

  With those parting blows, both Rocky and Komal passed out. And all Vijay could think was how the Marriage Thermometer didn’t stand a chance of moving up with the likes of them at the convention.

  18

  The Meet Market—Day Three—Now It’s Just You and Me

  Vijay awoke without the aid of any phone call from his parents. He looked at the clock on the table. It read 6:00 a.m. and it was still dark outside. He groaned and wondered to himself why he was so painfully awake so early. He lay in bed for a while, hoping sleep would come back to him, but his mind kept buzzing with random thoughts and questions and he for some reason couldn’t shut it off or feed it enough answers to go back peacefully to sleep.

  He rose out of bed, put on some shorts, a t-shirt, and his baseball cap and quietly walked out of the room. Vijay felt the need to go outside and to think. This was the last day of the convention and he was nowhere closer to his end goal than when he had first come to the convention. Not that there was any real expectation that something would happen. But at the same time, Vijay wondered if he really was giving it all the effort necessary.

  He walked through the hotel lobby and out the back doors through the swimming pool area. The hotel was adjacent to the beach. As he walked out to greet the ocean and the sunrise soon to arrive, he could see the silhouette of another person in a pony tail and blue sweats staring out across the horizon. It was Mona.

  Vijay walked up beside her and said, “Good morning.”

  She looked at him for a second, surprised to see him, but then smiled, fixing her gaze back intently at the horizon, answering “Good morning to you too. You’re up early.”

  “I know. I didn’t really get to party too much last night. Besides, this is all a first for me,” Vijay said, joining Mona in intently looking at the horizon. “Back at home, I watch sunsets where the sun dissolves slowly into the ocean. But a sunrise? Never seen the sun come out of the ocean.”

  “Most people don’t take the time to do it,” she said. “but it amazes me every time how quickly the sun rises, and before you know it, it’s completely up in the sky for the rest of the day,” said Mona. She then added philosophically, “It makes me realize how fast time is racing by.”

  They both watched the sunrise silently for a few minutes until it cleared the horizon. Mona then looked at Vijay and asked, “Would you like to go for a walk?” He agreed and they started walking north along the shore. Mona kept looking at him and smiling. “I’m glad we got to meet up again. It’s almost like fate. I’m actually leaving later this morning to go to a wedding and wouldn’t have gotten to see you otherwise.”

  “I’ve been looking for you, but never see you at any of the convention events.” The sun was now fully in the sky. The hotel stood out on the horizon like a small box behind them shimmering in the morning light.

  “To be honest with you, I haven’t really been giving this convention much of a chance. I came because a friend of mine is getting married this weekend in a nearby hotel, which was a good enough excuse for me to come to the convention, even if it was for little parts of the time while I wasn’t going to wedding events. I felt that if I was in some way a part of the convention, my parents would think that
I’m at least trying. The truth is though, the whole marriage thing is not something that I want to do right now,” Mona said, picking up a shell on the path in front of them. She threw it out into the ocean that had approached them like a cautious wild animal in the form of a wave hoping to be

  fed.

  “You’re not interested in meeting someone?” Vijay asked.

  “Part of it is, right now in my life, I’ve just finally started doing what I really want to do for the first time ever. I’m going back to school. I’m about to start an exciting and new career. I’m finally taking care of myself. I’m not ready right to get involved in a relationship. Right now I need to focus on ‘me’,” Mona explained.

  “I’ve come to learn that relationships are just a matter of timing. You probably just haven’t hit that time yet to go from a ‘me’ to an ‘us’,” Vijay rationalized for her.

  After a moment of silence, Mona said, “You’re wrong there. I was ready for a relationship before,” she said as they continued to walk up the beach. After some more contemplative silence, Mona said, “I don’t know if you know, but well, I was seeing someone before. In fact, it was serious.”

  “Really?” Vijay asked, not saying anything more. He knew everything but was interested to hear the story from her. They walked some more as he waited for Mona to talk when she was ready.

  “Can you believe I was this close,” Mona held two fingers together having mentally committed to tell the story, “to making the biggest mistake in my life? I almost got married to the wrong guy.”

  After a moment of silence, Vijay proactively asked over the roar of the surf, “So…what happened?”

  “Well,” Mona started, “It was a parent set-up. The typical Indian thing.”

  “Were you attracted to him?”

  She shrugged her shoulders, “I was young back then. I was barely twenty-two when we were introduced to each other. He was older. Twenty-seven. It was all new to me, this whole marriage idea. At the time, for some reason or another, I had come to accept that as my fate. I didn’t question it. I just followed directions.” Mona stopped walking and looked out to the ocean. “You know though, I can admit it. At the time, I did like him. He was finishing med school and he was good looking. He was what a lot of women are looking to find.”